How to handle virgins/religious girls?

[Herb]

I'll try to spare y'all the usual overly long intro and stick to pertinent info; I'll just say there's a girl I've gotten to know who I think is really cute, but she's still technically a virgin (she's almost 23 now), because she was raised in this goody-goody Irish Catholic way, and still believes a lot of Biblical stuff in a literal way lol. But she's okay with my stances on things cause I'm generally chill, moderate and accepting of others. She has done some things in the past however; met her through a good friend of mine, a coworker of hers, who made out with her a few times and fingered her in a bar once, but that's as far as he was comfortable in taking it since he thought going all the way would make her clingy and he wasn't that interested in her as a long-term prospect. He's perfectly fine with me trying with her, though perhaps there are remnants of feelings for him with her.

I went on two "dates" or whatever with her to some rooftop bars (pretty casual), and we had a lot of kino/touching, and genuinely had fun. First one lasted over five hours and she didn't want me to leave after three. I'm purposely taking it really slowly and carefully with her, since my friend told me she doesn't like to feel like she's being pursued (but also indicated that she would likely now be open to doing something "more"). These dates were atypical in that I usually try to escalate faster, but it's a special case. After first date, we hugged (she hugged very tightly and for a long time) and I kissed her on the head. The second time I gave her a quick peck on the side of her mouth, and we also did another long tight hug, and as I drew away she kinda clasped on to my arm or hand at the end for a few more seconds before we parted (I had planned on bringing her back to my place that night but she had to get up early and said she had to go).

But now the way we're talking via phone and text is more casual again (I don't want to overdo the romance and confuse her). Another complication is that she's most likely going to be moving from my city to New York in a couple of months for a new job. How should I handle this now... I don't want to confuse her and make her question moving just on account of me. But I really do actually like her, and not just in a "I want a quick hookup and that's it" kind of way. She's kind of goofy and and an oddball, doesn't have too many friends, and hasn't had much experience with guys other than one or two boyfriends, but despite that, I still like her and see a lot of commonalities between us.

Not even sure what I want with this, but even if I were to just go with the flow/play it by ear and test the waters, how should I proceed? Just bring her back to my place next time and be dominating and alpha, or more gentle and tender and all that haha

 

[lizardking82]

Dude, I can relate to you in two things: the casual dating, not restaurant/cafe typical thing and the fact you say she's an oddball and has not got many friends.

I can tell you one thing based on my last experience with my last girlfriend who was a huge wake up call for me in a lot of aspects: oddballs are interesting to you because they are mysterious usually and they are "cool" and "strange" and "weird" and all that. In the beginning, it seems to you like you have found some kind of person that is special, the kind of person not everyone can hang around so you are hangin' around her and you must be special, right?

Well, let me break that for you. She has most probably got some trauma, self confidence problem or some other mental complication deriving from her childhood like most introverts do. Right now, she seems to like you somehow and you seem to be in heat for her as well so neither of you is really going to dig deep and see flaws in each other. But let me tell you this: if you have something longer lasting with this girl, in about 6 months to a year at most, **** is going to start to surface and it's gonna be **** you won't like.

She has been fingered before so that should be enough for you to understand that no matter how Irish catholic or muslim or any of that bull**** you were brought up with, when you're dealing with someone that turns you on, as a female, they will do it all. Do not "respect" her by letting her keep her virginity for as long as she wants to. Do you want to stand a chance to have something with this girl? Progress towards sex, for the possible relationship's good. If you attract her NOW enough for her to have sex with you, it is probably she will create a stronger desire for you and might even completely ditch the moving cities she has in plan to do.

And the most important thing: please, no pedestal for this or any other girl. She is cute and nice and everything, but that is practically how everyone is at the beginning (learned this the very hard way). She is a girl, treat her as one. If you see things are not advancing towards sex, go cold turkey on her. It is not worth it, dude, women know who they wanna give their ***** to in a matter of minutes probably, trust me about this. Anytime I chased girls who seemed to flake/play games and not talk sex early on, I was left with nothing real being produced of those communications, no matter in what form they were.

 

[devilkingx2]

I find it hilarious that in the first paragraph you mention that she let some dude finger her in a bar (and even implied that it was his choice not to bang her rather than any resistance on her part), but then for some reason you typed the rest of the post and the title of the topic under the premise that you should treat her like some sort of nun.

if you don't want to be friendzoned I think you should be fvcking her on the table within the next two dates fam.

 

[9Volt]

Most overly religious chicks are or people in general are overly "religious" because they're frauds who are hiding skeletons in their closet, whacked out, and want to use "religion" as their get out of jail free card.

They also use their "religion" to "preach" in an attempt to try to manipulate others "not as good as they are because they're bff's with "God" and get their way.

once you see through the bs you deal with them accordingly.

 

[El Payaso]

Dude, I can relate to you in two things: the casual dating, not restaurant/cafe typical thing and the fact you say she's an oddball and has not got many friends.

I can tell you one thing based on my last experience with my last girlfriend who was a huge wake up call for me in a lot of aspects: oddballs are interesting to you because they are mysterious usually and they are "cool" and "strange" and "weird" and all that. In the beginning, it seems to you like you have found some kind of person that is special, the kind of person not everyone can hang around so you are hangin' around her and you must be special, right?

Well, let me break that for you. She has most probably got some trauma, self confidence problem or some other mental complication deriving from her childhood like most introverts do. Right now, she seems to like you somehow and you seem to be in heat for her as well so neither of you is really going to dig deep and see flaws in each other. But let me tell you this: if you have something longer lasting with this girl, in about 6 months to a year at most, **** is going to start to surface and it's gonna be **** you won't like.

She has been fingered before so that should be enough for you to understand that no matter how Irish catholic or muslim or any of that bull**** you were brought up with, when you're dealing with someone that turns you on, as a female, they will do it all. Do not "respect" her by letting her keep her virginity for as long as she wants to. Do you want to stand a chance to have something with this girl? Progress towards sex, for the possible relationship's good. If you attract her NOW enough for her to have sex with you, it is probably she will create a stronger desire for you and might even completely ditch the moving cities she has in plan to do.

And the most important thing: please, no pedestal for this or any other girl. She is cute and nice and everything, but that is practically how everyone is at the beginning (learned this the very hard way). She is a girl, treat her as one. If you see things are not advancing towards sex, go cold turkey on her. It is not worth it, dude, women know who they wanna give their ***** to in a matter of minutes probably, trust me about this. Anytime I chased girls who seemed to flake/play games and not talk sex early on, I was left with nothing real being produced of those communications, no matter in what form they were.

What lizardking said is spot on. Proceed as usual. Your thoughts of inaction only come from a place of fear. Fear of losing her because you think she is somehow special. HINT: she's not.

 

[Herb]

Hm. Y'all may be right. Perhaps I was looking at it too much from this angle of her being an innocent little princess or something. Women have real desires. The weird thing, in our conversations, she mentioned this kind of internal "struggle" that she has with temptations. Hinted that her occasional sexual desires are stupid and all that and she wants to suppress them because they're not right. But when I half-jokingly asked how prudish she was, she was like, "well probably not as much as you'd think".

And dang lizardking.. you've gave me something to think about. I can tell for a fact that this girl has some deeper seated issues, one being that she was home-schooled, and another that she had a bad college experience because of a terrible boyfriend. She's also the oldest of nine siblings and has to take care of them. But I had my own issues in the past, and the reason I drew to her is because I see a lot of similarities, and yes, something sort of special about her. I have no road map or plan for how a future with her could unfold. I'm simply just going with it and seeing what happens. Originally I had no intention of taking it beyond just hooking up a few times, but now I'm changing my mind.

She's definitely not the type to be slutty and put herself out there, but my other friend is pretty good with breaking down women's barriers, and I could see how he got to the point where he did that at the bar (she also does drink a lot, despite her religiousness lol.. maybe blame that on the Irish). He also has the added benefit of basically having facilitated her getting her current job. I can tell she likes me, but when I tried going for something like a kiss at the end of those meetups, she moved her face to where it's a different kind of kiss. If she really wanted me to move it along wouldn't she have... hmm nah I guess I didn't try hard enough and was being too careful, giving her too much space.

I'll invite her to my place for some movies or something and try to make it happen. Third time's the charm hopefully. Heh, and besides, if things happen, she can always go to confession afterwards.

 

[logicallefty]

There are some virgins her age and even up to early 30s that I have hit. It's possible. But I don't buy the "I'm a virgin and I'm saving myself" unless the hymen is there. There is no fvcking 15 guys before me and deciding "I'm saving myself till marriage now". There is no "I don't have a hymen cuz I use a big dildo".

"If there ain't no cherry then the tale is a fairy", LL.

 

[Trunks]

One thing I have noticed about many of these religious/conservative girls who remained virgins until marriage and/or married their only boyfriend after high school or in their early 20s, is that they tend to become the kind of wife on the prowl for a sexual affair when they are in their late 20s/early 30s. Anybody else notice this?

 

[RangerMIke]

All women are the same, treat them that way. They are all freaks... you just have to bring it out. Push her emotional buttons and she'll pretty much do whatever you want as long as you have the confidence and desire to go for it without fear.

But be warned... chicks who bang you and then later decide she 'really' didn't want to fvck you, she might just cry rape. They can not control themselves emotionally, and if she rationally decides that sex with you was NOT the good choice, she could blame you. Always push for sex, but when she says stop, you are done... you need to back off.

 

[Alpheta]

Damn dude. I was in the same EXACT position as you. You need to listen very carefully.

ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME.TREAT THEM AS SUCH.

When I met my girl, she was a virgin. The 'i have no guy friends' type of virgin. I mean shes a MUSLIM. An introvert. The MOST innocent you can get. I mean come on, shes a Muslim.

For the first 6 months, she sold me the story about how she needs to save sex for marriage and how bad the women of today are. I heard it all.

But i managed to phuck her lol. And it was easy. She wanted it. But she HAD to make it out like she didn't. Women, especially religous ones, would feel guilty if they came out all guns blazing asking to get phucked. Really and truly they WANT a man to overcome them and phuck them.

Would you believe that the girl I popped is the freakiest girl. She swallows *** and licks my angus lmao.

Get in there asap as you wont come across a virgin that often. Dont buy the 'im innocent' bullchit. Play along with it, but don't let it phase you or manipulate you.

 

[Herb]

Dammit, turned out this girl wouldn't get over the friend I mentioned earlier; it was going well for a while but in the end she couldn't give it up, and I think still wants to hold out for him, even though he has zero intention of ever doing anything with her, as he's told me many times; he even talks about her negatively behind her back all the time, saying she's a simple-minded girl. Kinda sad. It's annoying how irrationally attached these kinds of girls get to whoever they have the slightest kinds of sexual interactions with (he did also get her her job though). I couldn't even crack a joke about our mutual friend without her getting upset and taking it seriously and defending him. She kind of stopped talking to me but apparently she still hits up my other friend each weekend, only to get turned down with a "I'm busy" reply lol.

 

[Hedge]

Hmmm, maybe go cold on her? After some silence from you, she might think of you after one too many rejections from your friend?

Else, next her and move on.

 

[AlphaNate]

How to handle...

Same as any other girl. How many of these threads do we need?

 

[devilkingx2]

Dammit, turned out this girl wouldn't get over the friend I mentioned earlier; it was going well for a while but in the end she couldn't give it up, and I think still wants to hold out for him, even though he has zero intention of ever doing anything with her, as he's told me many times; he even talks about her negatively behind her back all the time, saying she's a simple-minded girl. Kinda sad. It's annoying how irrationally attached these kinds of girls get to whoever they have the slightest kinds of sexual interactions with (he did also get her her job though). I couldn't even crack a joke about our mutual friend without her getting upset and taking it seriously and defending him. She kind of stopped talking to me but apparently she still hits up my other friend each weekend, only to get turned down with a "I'm busy" reply lol.

That's how you know she's really a virgin, all obsessed with some guy she barely did anything with

 

[C00lAF]

That's how you know she's really a virgin, all obsessed with some guy she barely did anything with

Not exactly.....

 

[Herb]

^Care to elaborate?

That's the conclusion that most of us came to, including other friends I mentioned it to, but maybe there's more to it than that.

Another factor to consider is I suppose I kinda came across like I was 'pursuing' her in a way, although sort of halfheartedly or half-assedly. Unlike my other friend, who didn't go out of his way to set things up with her and hang out with her, but on the occasions they were together, he didn't *****-foot around and just went for it like a man. Also, maybe she got worried that I was actually into her in a more serious/long-term relationship way, and she knew she was going to be moving soon, so didn't want to get too involved (now I found out she did get the job and will be). That wasn't what I was really trying to do, but I could see how I mistakenly came off that way.

 

[Alvafe]

feh naive.

well lets put this like volt said, people who are religious do so by guilty (they did something nasty and need something to tell herself and others she is a better person), and no religious people are pure or goo, msot religious people are nasty, they morals is from the church so as long no one from the church see then its ok (the pedos and all the sex with pastors with taken woman is not enough), let me drop a little experience I know girls(not one) who says she will marry a virgin, but her back door is a hell of a used thing (pretty much a back door solution for marrying a virgin)

here is what you need to get too she let a strange finger her, that is all you need to know, she will do waht she will feel like any other girl and at worse she is easy, you make a huge text over a girl who possible will jsut string you along for validation. move on dude nothing here for you

 

[AlphaNate]

^Care to elaborate?

Those are signs of submission and don't necessarily indicate sexual history.

 

[devilkingx2]

Another factor to consider is I suppose I kinda came across like I was 'pursuing' her in a way, although sort of halfheartedly or half-assedly. Unlike my other friend, who didn't go out of his way to set things up with her and hang out with her, but on the occasions they were together, he didn't *****-foot around and just went for it like a man. Also, maybe she got worried that I was actually into her in a more serious/long-term relationship way, and she knew she was going to be moving soon, so didn't want to get too involved (now I found out she did get the job and will be). That wasn't what I was really trying to do, but I could see how I mistakenly came off that way.

Her being a religious virgin wouldn't necessarily stop the alpha fvcks, beta bucks dynamic you know

 

[C00lAF]

^Care to elaborate?

That's the conclusion that most of us came to, including other friends I mentioned it to, but maybe there's more to it than that.

Another factor to consider is I suppose I kinda came across like I was 'pursuing' her in a way, although sort of halfheartedly or half-assedly. Unlike my other friend, who didn't go out of his way to set things up with her and hang out with her, but on the occasions they were together, he didn't *****-foot around and just went for it like a man. Also, maybe she got worried that I was actually into her in a more serious/long-term relationship way, and she knew she was going to be moving soon, so didn't want to get too involved (now I found out she did get the job and will be). That wasn't what I was really trying to do, but I could see how I mistakenly came off that way.

I advice against going for the girl your bro is going for.
And the guilty dog barks first,that means if she is freaking out all the time if someone touchs her and over react to it,thats how you know she is on some bull****.