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How to handle this?

volkme68

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2007
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So the girl i been posting about for the past month finally broke up with her BF friday night, pretty much over me.

Brief recap: her and I hung out all the time, hooked up drunk, still hung out, and a week later she started dating this guy bc she didn't think i was in to her, almost like a rebound. (paraphrase of her own words.) I tell her I do indeed like her, stay away a couple of days, and the two of us start hanging out again. Hang out almost everyday, high kino, but no kissing or the like, for the most part. He of course is extremely jealous and paranoid of me, not to mention controlling and obsessive to begin with, and very very clingy. They would fight almost daily about me...

No surprise that they broke up, FINALLY. Her and I had tickets for this concert before those two were even dating. Concert was friday. She was going with me and about a half dozen other friends. We were planning on staying at a hotel over night as a group. He knew about it way ahead of time, from the begining.

well friday hits and i am to pick her up around 2:30, we are gonna load up my car and drive to the hotel and pregame. she wants to grab a bite first. BF txts her and asks what she is up to. she says just eating then heading out. He asks what she is eating and who with (just making small talk). she takes it as him being nosey and clingy, which of course i encouraged. This turns into a big fight after about twenty minutes of her texting. He calls her and they go back and forth. long story short, he ends up breaking up with her, and she was planning on doing the same thing if he didnt. we end up getting to the hotel 3 hours later then planned.

on the ride there, she was holding my hand, rubbing my leg etc.we get to the hotel, and first thing out of one of the guys, was something about her and i better not **** to loud, since 6 people were sharing the room. she instantly pulls my arm off her shoulders and starts acting a bit akward. this continues much of the night, same guy being a drunk ******* and getting everyone pissed. around the time we decide to go to bed, her and i are sitting out side the hotel room, listening to her ipod and her venting, but with lots of kino. she says something about not wanting to lead me on, yada yada yada. I am her best friend. I shrug it off and we just sit there continuing heavy kino and her reciprocating. We go to bed, cuddling together but no kissing or anything, just end up sleeping.

Next morning breakfast, she is going on about probably never dating again, just staying away from labels for now on. and acting a bit depressed. I know she has had a lot of bad relationships (getting cheated on, liars, etc) so she is really jaded about them and never wants to marry(which is a plus in my book, haha). Car ride home, she is KINOing me again and we get back to my place and just lay down for about an hour before i take her home. i drop her off and she has been doing HW all day and texting me, but she is definitely upset. I think it is more with some other stuff going on then her break up, but it still has to be a factor i think.

I guess what I want to know is how you guys would pursue this from here. I really like her and want to date her, but I think I should give her a little time after her break up. How long do you guys think? I told her once i like her, so she should know it, but I definitely don't wanna wait to long. I know i am in the FZ, but there is huge sexual tension between us all the time. I am not worried so much about that though as actually approaching her about a relationship, and what to say about it. I know she said she doesnt wanna date and I am a friend, but body language says the opposite, and she said she didnt want a relationship before she dated the other guy, so not too concerned with that either....

Thanks, I am looking forward to your responses.
 

Nutz

Master Don Juan
Joined
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You're friend-zoning yourself. Man up and take the lead already! You MUST escalate or you'll fizzle out, if you haven't already...
 

volkme68

Don Juan
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Yeah I definitely need to escalate, but is it okay to do it right after this break up? or should i wait a little while?
 

Ease

Master Don Juan
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Waiting, caring about feelings, being supportive, caring about anything, not having sex, friend cuddling, talking, being 'there for her'. All of these things are bad. In small doses, maybe, but the situation your in all of these things are working against you.

you've made yourself into a gay best friend. the kino your getting into with her is gay best friend kino. that isnt even helping the situation. when you kino her, you want to be being playful and highly sexual. grab her tits and say 'oops, hands slipped'.

Get out of this homosexual mindframe! Stop being her best friend! You want to have sex, not be supportive!

You were supposed to make your move during the hotel trip. Just kiss her, before its too late. And hope that it isnt too late already.
 
Joined
Sep 11, 2008
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I think you have to man up and just escalate it, her kiss her and see what happens from there. If she backs off, it's not a big deal, just smile and go about it, try again some other time. It's pretty easy, and she is already big time into you, and is most likely just waiting for you to take the initiative.

And in response to not caring at all, girls know that I am a nice guy (not in the "nice guy" sense), that I care for other people and so on, and they like it and find it cute. They say this and then they proceed to do sexual things with me.

If you don't care at all, you're not human anymore. It's normal to care. It's good to care. But it's all about toning it down to a suitable level (which depends on the situation).
 

46and2aheadofme

Don Juan
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Dec 15, 2008
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Just to give you some other options on where to go from here: A buddy of mine once said "whenever I feel like a girl is befriending me I just completely ignore them. It drives them nuts and I usually end up hooking up with them".

Stop giving her so much attention and if she asks why, just be like "I've just been busy lately" or something to that effect.

Type in "ganji games" for more reference.

I would assess the situation first to see if that is the right move though.
 
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