How To Handle This Plate? Advice

[soulforge]

I fully understand the concept, that this girl simply wants to fuk.. Hell so do I.

But even the process of fuking requires a little communication back and forth.

And then comes the matter of self respect.. As much as I enjoy smashing that azz, I don't want to come across as this dude who keeps chasing, while she barely lifts a finger.

But I get the point... I send a simple text once a week... You coming over Friday?

She comes over, we smash.. She fuks off home.. Repeat the cycle.

However when a chick realises she is in the drivers seat and she doesn't need to make ANY effort.. She WILL without a doubt start FLAKING

As far as she is concerned, she can flake and this dude will STILL keep inviting her over.

There is no standard of behaviour put in place here.. So NOTHING will stop her flaking.

 

[soulforge]

I agree with where you are coming from but from my standpoint, if the sex is good, use her until it simply doesnt work OR until you replace her.

If its SEX that you are after, you're getting it with a minimal investment.

The idea her is that you would like for her to show more enthusiasm towards you. That is something that you can either live with or makes her someone that you replace/dismiss.

I am simply saying that I personally dont like to throw away perfectly good @ss. Although there comes a time that things dont line up with what you are looking for and its time to move on.

We both know that if she isnt reaching out there is a reason for it. That is what bothers you more than anything. We both know that its just a matter of time before this one stops responding to your booty calls. So I agree that you should be looking for a replacement but I wouldnt toss her just yet.

A lot of this is determined on what you want. Is it a 2-4 chick rotation? LTR? Your intent is the deciding factor in all of this and without knowing what your end game is its impossible for us to be able to give you the greatest advice.

Glassguy my intention with her is SEX only.

Relationship is not on the table.. Ever!

However I like to have a somewhat steady rotation.

I totally get your point though... Enjoy smashing that ass till she drops off.. Which is inevitable!

 

[guru1000]

There is no standard of behaviour put in place here.. So NOTHING will stop her flaking.

Of course she will flake, or alternatively ghost you eventually. Why? Because she didn't invest anything into you, and so your value in her psyche has yet to be reinforced.

For every investment of time and attention she makes, her attraction for you grows. <=Read that again.

Make her invest. Or just allow her to drop off whenever she feels like it. I personally like to hold the reins in who ends what.

 

[Glassguy]

Of course she will flake, or alternatively ghost you eventually. Why? Because she didn't invest anything into you, and so your value in her psyche has yet to be reinforced.

I agree and I just referred that.

But I will take the middle road on this one. If @soulforge wants to smash only and no other expectations or intent, smash her until she does become a flake or ghost.

In the meantime it would be ideal for him to start chumming the waters for more candidates. She should be the first one replaced out of the 2

 

[guru1000]

But I will take the middle road on this one. If @soulforge wants to smash only and no other expectations or intent, smash her until she does become a flake or ghost

I never encounter the bolded at least not in a very long time. I shared my examples in the past of the CHASE frame. Women vying for my time and attention because I monitor their investments. Keep scrolling right:

My Library

s682.photobucket.com

I haven't had a gf, plate, or FB leave (flake/ghost/lose attraction) in over 12 years. Truth. The only girl who ever left was recently due to her finding out my real age (21 yo younger), and even she, came back around.

However, I have let relations die due to their lack of investing. Though, this is very rare, as when you give them space (S&D) because they have failed to invest, they will typically reach out in time, and when they do, the pendulum now swings.

I don't say this with intent to pound my chest but rather to share a truth: Plates don't have to flake/ghost if you allow them the gift of space to invest into you.

 

[Robert28]

Glassguy i'm not looking for her to be texting every other day and all that shyte..

If I don't hear from her for days on end, I don't lose sleep over it.

What does bother me is, having to arrange ALL the sex dates... And if I don't reach out to arrange, then the whole thing will die off.

Seems a little too one sided... I have had one FLAKE from her, but that wasn't a big issue as plate number 2 was available.

Another flake and she is out.

I’ve been in an actual relationship like this. She started off doing 50/50 but it slowly because me doing the same amount and her doing less. I didn’t do more, just ended up doing the same work I’d been doing but she was putting in less and less effort. **** got old fast so I just ghosted

 

[RangerMIke]

I like what @cola said. If it really bothers you, then let her go before it screws up your frame. If a woman is not doing what you want, no matter what it is, and it bothers you... just let it go.

However, I will say that women will do this now and then. In fact I have one right now, everything started off fine she was reaching out... I was making dates... things were going as they should. Then all of the sudden a couple of weeks ago, nothing... so I just let it go, and figured if she wanted to see me she would let me know. Then yesterday I remembered that we made plans for this Thursday awhile back for an event so I called her.... went right to VM.... and she never called back.

So I figured well that's it, my turn on the ride is over... time to find a new one. Then this morning she is texting me like crazy.

I have no fvcking idea what is going on in the chick's mind and I really don't care. I left a message for her to CALL ME back and if she doesn't I'll assume the plans are off and I will go to this event without her. If she calls, I'll just be my normal calm happy self, confirm we are still on for Thursday and if we are not, then I'm done with her.

The BIGGEST mistake that men make is allowing women to pull them off center, she has to be willing to come into YOUR world and live within YOUR frame, whatever that is and be happy about it. If a woman starts pulling this stuff it's either because she has lost interest or a better option (in her mind) has come into the picture, or she is playing games in an effort to gain some control.

If she is pulling back because she has lost interest, and you keep pursuing: You lose TIME, which can not be replaced.
If she is pulling back to gain control, and you keep pursuing: It might take more time but eventually you lose.

 

[guru1000]

If she is pulling back because she has lost interest, and you keep pursuing: You lose TIME, which can not be replaced.
If she is pulling back to gain control, and you keep pursuing: It might take more time but eventually you lose.

It's deeper than that.

It's Sexual chemistry.

If she pulls back, you pull back.

If she moves forward, you move forward.

If she invests, you invest.

But IF she pulls back and you move forward, it's no longer romantic chemistry. Now that H20 has turned turned into CO2, and this romantic chemistry you once had changes into something else entirely, and this chemical incongruence collapses the chemistry in an instant.

 

[RangerMIke]

It's deeper than that.

It's Sexual chemistry.

If she pulls back, you pull back.

If she moves forward, you move forward.

If she invests, you invest.

But IF she pulls back and you move forward, it's no longer romantic chemistry. Now that H20 has turned turned into CO2, and this romantic chemistry you once had changes into something else entirely, and this chemical incongruence collapses the chemistry in an instant.

I'll buy that with one caveat.

If it's a chick you just met, chemistry is very important, and it really does trump everything. If it isn't there... it never will be. But you learn this early on if you go in with BOTH eyes open. Chemistry is a function of attraction.... Interest is a function of behavior.

You're right... it really is deeper than that, but it is impossible to find the right answer for every chick and possibility.... it is deep and complex because 'chemistry' is on a continuum: from "She wants to fvck you now"...... to..... "She wants to vomit at the sight of you". It is different for every chick. And there are other factors in her life that give her momentary shifts in what triggers her..... there are 3 billion women in the world and each one operates with her own variable.

Since there is no set answer for all possible situations, the only thing a man can do is be the best version of himself he can, live in his frame, and let the chick decide if that is where she wants to be. There is tons of stuff out there that will give advice on what MOST women are looking for, and if your goal in life is to get as many as you can.... well you can shape your life with hard work, patience, and practice and position yourself in the sweet spot. But if it isn't who you are, you will never be completely happy.

 

[AJ84]

[

It's deeper than that.

It's Sexual chemistry.

If she pulls back, you pull back.

If she moves forward, you move forward.

If she invests, you invest.

But IF she pulls back and you move forward, it's no longer romantic chemistry. Now that H20 has turned turned into CO2, and this romantic chemistry you once had changes into something else entirely, and this chemical incongruence collapses the chemistry in an instant.

but she’s not moving forward. You’re saying that he needs to make her invest, also saying that if she invests, he invests but if she’s not doing that to begin with. She is not chasing at all. How does he make her invest without coming across as the one who is making the first move? Or are you saying he should make the first move and if so what would be the best move that doesn't come off as needy?
I get the sense that he is tired of making the first move and her total lack of initiating (though she is responsive when he does) is making him doubt the whole thing.

 

[guru1000]

[

but she’s not moving forward. You’re saying that he needs to make her invest, also saying that if she invests, he invests but if she’s not doing that to begin with. She is not chasing at all. How does he make her invest without coming across as the one who is making the first move? Or are you saying he should make the first move and if so what would be the best move that doesn't come off as needy?
I get the sense that he is tired of making the first move and her total lack of initiating (though she is responsive when he does) is making him doubt the whole thing.

Yes that post was not particularly about OP's situation, but about investments overall. Though, the point, of equal (or greater on her part) investments is what I was driving at.

I have tons of situations like OP's. A few ongoing right now. The correct action (and this is assuming OP is not acting like an azzhole like I sometimes fall to) is to hang back and let her come. She will. And if she doesn't, she was on her way out regardless for OP's not giving her the room to invest previously. OP does not serve THE (her and his) attraction by not allowing her to invest.

I'd like to think of romantic energy as a third entity. Both you and she are feeding this entity. The entity is the combined energies of you and her. And this entity exists between you and her and has a gravitational force of its own. It pulls you together. The closer you get, the bigger the entity becomes.

So whenever I am talking to a woman, I am always looking at this entity and seeing if it's being nurtured from both sides.

Now what happens is when you invest, and she doesn't feed this entity commensurately--and you continue to invest, you are destroying this entity because it cannot survive on unequal energy investments. It just tumbles over to the side of the only investment given, lopsides, crushes, and evaporates.


@RangerMIke, yes. The only thing I would add to your post is to be conscious to ensure both sides are investing. Because IF she is investing, she is not leaving.

 

[guru1000]

@soulforge Here's two more that invested today after almost one week of my disappearing:

My Library

s682.photobucket.com

My Library

s682.photobucket.com

Make them invest. And you will build an army with nothing short of troopers.

 

[sazc]

Don't text her until you want sex from someone

 

[soulforge]

@soulforge Here's two more that invested today after almost one week of my disappearing:

My Library

s682.photobucket.com

My Library

s682.photobucket.com

Make them invest. And you will build an army with nothing short of troopers.

This seems to be a lose lose situation...

If I keep reaching out to this chick, it makes me look weak, pathetic and without options..

Eventually this will lead to flaking and ghosting by her.

However I believe Guru1000 makes a valid point.... Making her invest a little is probably the best way forward.

What is the worst that will happen? She will drop off right? But that is going to happen anyway guys.. Its just a matter time.

Puzzy isn't EVERYTHING... Man needs to also look at how he is being treated in a situation too.

I kind of feel like I am going AGAINST my nature by perusing this hoe.. I generally do not go out of my way for chicks... I only put in similar effort as they put in.

I will give you an example... She left my house Sunday morning, after a night of drinking and heavy fukin session.

Sunday night I messaged her, just asked her if she is still hungover? And just had some light banter with her... It was me who initiated the text.

I haven't heard from her since.

I believe its just a matter of COMMON COURTESY to send the odd text, just to keep some of the interaction going.


I am leaning more towards GURU1000

Let her reach out, and get within MY frame, or she can simply fuk off.

 

[backseatjuan]

Dude, you overthinking the situation. Firstly double the time you contact her, secondly move her from Sunday to Thursday or sometime midweek. From now on you're busy Sunday and Saturday.

 

[Roober]

It sounds like you are a convenience in her life, not a necessity. In one way or another, she doesnt feel enough attraction towards you.

This could be due to poor sex, your boring, not attracted, or something else your not doing. It could also be that she's a raging *****, but that's a very small percentage of women.

If I were you, I would think about your interactions with her and what could be improved. A man who presents a significant package in mind and body will only increase a woman's attraction towards him the more time they spend together.

When y0u reach this point, women look at you like your from another planet. And I'm not much of a looker either...

 

[17 shots]

I actually prefer women who never initiate. I'd rather them wait on my call or text then bother me whenever they want. I ignore calls and texts all the time

 

[soulforge]

I actually prefer women who never initiate. I'd rather them wait on my call or text then bother me whenever they want. I ignore calls and texts all the time

I see merit in your point too.. Its a difficult one.

I could just shoot off a text near the end of week.

Me - Are you coming over Saturday night?

She comes over.. I smash then send her home in the morning and make ZERO contact with her.. NOTHING

I send her another text the weekend after, and repeat the process till she drops off.

In between smashes I do not contact her at all..

 

[AJ84]

I see merit in your point too.. Its a difficult one.

I could just shoot off a text near the end of week.

Me - Are you coming over Saturday night?

She comes over.. I smash then send her home in the morning and make ZERO contact with her.. NOTHING

I send her another text the weekend after, and repeat the process till she drops off.

In between smashes I do not contact her at all..

While this situation may be ideal for some guys, clearly it’s not for you.

Her not responding to your texts does kind of seem like she is straight up using you just for sex. Maybes that’s a female perspective take on this? Because this is the kind of thing that females are more likely to experience - being used just for sex.

You are not a female clearly lol, and she certainly seems to be different that how causal plates appear to be, based on your and other guys’ descriptions of how their plates act.

This situation seems to be against some core values you have that contributes to your self respect, and self respect is more important than sex.

I think you have given her time and space to chase you simply by not texting her between meet ups. It’s not like you are blowing up her phone or anything. She likes the sex it seems, but she doesn’t seem interested enough to chase.

Focus on the threesome model girl, other girls, and your own hobbies etc. She ain’t worth it.