How to handle their excuses for breakin/postponin the date, PLEASE RESPOND

[Cougar1CMG]

thats all i really want to know right now. i think once i learn to do this more, i will be more in control and be like well its her loss. it won't be easy, but i want some ways so when it is all over it affects HER not me. ok well im sure u all know what im talkin about and have many good ideas to help.

Later Coug

 

[mmikanowicz]

Say this to her on the phone next time she breaks a date:

You:Wanna go see a movie this weekend??

Her:WELL....I am going out with my friends this weekend,sorry.

You:Listen name,you said you would spend time with me,and you constantly diss me,you have no respect for me or my time which I have made room for you in,then HANGUP,I know this is harsh but man doe sit work,I GUARANTEE SHE WILL CALL YOU BACK APOLOGISE AND ASK YOU OUT.................TRY IT

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[Raoul]

Heh, I think mmikanowicz's is a bit extreme for a first offense. This is what I use --

She: (rejection of your plans)

Me: That's too bad, you would've enjoyed <date activity>. Bye. (Hang Up)

I've read that Anti-Dump uses the "We'll talk soon" line. Just to throw another idea in there.

- Raoul

[This message has been edited by Raoul (edited 11-16-2000).]

 

[terminator911]

Raoul
I'm glad my lines are being used by someone.

But yes, "That's too bad, you would have enjoyed it" and then hanging up would do just fine.

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"Women. They've got half the money in the world and all the pu$$y."

[This message has been edited by terminator911 (edited 11-16-2000).]

 

[Cougar1CMG]

AD, what is your 2 cents on this.

 

[Maverick]

Hey Cougar -

This is Maverick...

just wanted to say that.... lol...

I would go with one of the less extreme versions first and see how she reacts if she really cares she'll give you an option and show up for the date... if she doesn't hope you've been gathering home phone numbers while you've been having problems, if not
start asking...

some things are just that way...

SWSWSW (some will, some won't , so what... -- there's plenty of fish in them thar seas just find one that really like you .... -- DJ Fisherman )

Good Huntin' mate

Peace

 

[BigBadJon]

Everyone is so bent on getting some type of "revenge" (myself included, it would feel nice for a change) for being played like a fool.

The more I think about it, I realize that the energy and time wasted trying to right a wrong could be put to better use.

She cancels something you've been looking forward to and planning for a week. It's not what to do in this situation, it's what not to do. First of all, do not let it get to you. Secondly, you want to believe that her excuses are valid so it's difficult to rattle off a comeback in the heat of the moment. At least show her that it isn't the end of the world for you and never try to ask her for another date during the time when she cancels.

The other guys got the right idea....show no disappointment and get off the phone. Simple as that.

 

[Poet]

Any cancellation is demonstrating to you that other things have a higher priority..in other words you are low on her list of things to do, not high. That's all there is to it. The message is clear. Tell her your time is valuable & if she gets her priorities correct to call you then hang up. Poet

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Action is all....words don't mean ****.

Trust your instincts & nothing else.

 

[Hef]

Dont get so hung up on a chick. If she breaks a date, great, go find the next chickie & shag her

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International Millionaire Playboy Dude

 

[Hidden-Danjer]

Just one thing...

"We'll talk later" sound's a bit too niceguy... For me anyways.

Okay, it shows you ain't THAT bothered, but still... You wanna be a ****?

Try "Cya around *pause* I s'ppose"

Ha ha ha! ****s em off every time!

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*Hidden-Danjer*

Stand back people I am in love with myself!

 

[Krynnster]

Originally posted by mmikanowicz:
Listen name,you said you would spend time with me,and you constantly diss me,you have no respect for me or my time which I have made room for you in,then HANGUP

Sure, that will work... with girls that have absolutely no self esteem, no life and are as desparate to date you as you are to date them. Other girls will probably just shake their heads, say "huh?" and will never call you again...

Originally posted by Poet:
Any cancellation is demonstrating to you that other things have a higher priority.

That's not entirely true. The fact that she has previous engagements and can't make it has NOTHING to do with your priority in her life... and you know what? Even if it has something to do with your priority, you shouldn't expect to be her number one priority when you just start dating! Is she your number one priority? If so, you've got a lot to learn

.

As for the issue of cancelling dates at the last minute (it will happen to you evetually): if she calls before a date and says she has to cancel, you should assume her reasons are valid and not make a fuss. The true test here is this: if she's interested in you, she will apologize and attempt to reschedule. If she doesn't, or if she stands you up (i.e. no show and no phone call) she will have to prove to you that the interest is still there for you to continue pursuing her. Whatever you do, keep calm and don't blow. From my experience, getting aggressive at the early stages of a relatopnship will achieve absolutely nothing.

Hope this helps...

K.

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Decent people don't use their signatures for promotional purposes. To learn more, visit my web site at http://krynnster.tripod.com .

[This message has been edited by Krynnster (edited 11-20-2000).]

 

[Armand]

Originally posted by Cougar1CMG:
thats all i really want to know right now. i think once i learn to do this more, i will be more in control and be like well its her loss. it won't be easy, but i want some ways so when it is all over it affects HER not me. ok well im sure u all know what im talkin about and have many good ideas to help.

Later Coug

Simple.


If she doesn't offer to make it up to you, by offering another date-day/time of her own free will - tell her maybe some other time(when she gives her line about why she can't go out), hang up, and toss her number immediately; she didn't like you anyway so don't waste any more of your time. If it's the first time she has broken or postponed the date, you could give her one more chance; but, that's up to you if you want to waste more of your time. Just use your best judgement, when trying to determine whether her excuse is plausable enough to deserve a second chance.

Forget about these who break dates chronically - they have no respect for you and never will. Ignoring her like she doesn't exist is the only real revenge. Women don't like to be ignored, so do just that - to these "date-breakers."

Reacting, doing anything more (confronting her, b!tching, begging), will still leave her with the sense of control over you. Your inaction(ignoring her immediately and moving on to other women) denies her this, and leaves you with more self-respect than you would've had otherwise.

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Definition Of Insanity: Doing what you've always done and expecting things to change.

[This message has been edited by Armand (edited 11-20-2000).]

 

[Poet]

I realize circumstances play a role but how many dates have you had to cancel? I bet 0...Same with me & most guys I would suppose. Does this mean unfortold circumstances only happen to women? Not likely so I don't buy it unless there is a damn goos excuse otherwise my inclination is to think they have put me donn their list of "things to do" no pun there BTW if they counter offer that's fine, otherwise I am gone....Poet

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Action is all....words don't mean ****.

Trust your instincts & nothing else.

 

[BigBadJon]

Originally posted by Poet:
I realize circumstances play a role but how many dates have you had to cancel? I bet 0...Same with me & most guys I would suppose. Does this mean unfortold circumstances only happen to women? Not likely so I don't buy it unless there is a damn goos excuse otherwise my inclination is to think they have put me donn their list of "things to do" no pun there BTW if they counter offer that's fine, otherwise I am gone....Poet

Exactly. If I have even the slightest interest in wanting to get to know someone there is very little that would come between me and keeping a date. 99.9% of the time excuses are like......well you all know the saying.

 

[Poet]

BBJon you are a sensible dude, great minds think alike it seems! Now being a single parent changes the game rules of course. I have had to change plans & if a woman I am dating has a kid that's a different story...this I understand only too well. Later, Poet

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Action is all....words don't mean ****.

Trust your instincts & nothing else.

 

[BigBadJon]

Originally posted by Poet:
BBJon you are a sensible dude, great minds think alike it seems! Now being a single parent changes the game rules of course. I have had to change plans & if a woman I am dating has a kid that's a different story...this I understand only too well. Later, Poet

Thanks Poet! Only problem is, the last girl I dated used having a kid as an excuse to avoid seeing me and such. The one and only thing that gives any woman salvation is the counteroffer. No counteroffer, no interest, plain and simple.

 

[ChrisFl]

> you shouldn't expect to be her number one priority when you just start dating!

Agreed. Especially if she has a life.

Another bad sign is when she cancels the date by leaving a message on your machine at a time when she knows you wouldn't be there to answer personally, then doesn't call back to reschedule.

 

[Raoul]

another bump

 

[Microphone Fiend]

bump...i woul agree with mmickawickz....Its a little harsh, but the returning fox idea is proven and weeds out the chicks that arent worth your time.