How to handle seeing your ex out

[Romjuan]

I know the best way to handle the situation is to show indifference. How do you do this without coming off as an a-hole.

Last night my brother and his wife was out with her friends (one was my ex and I think her new bf) well my brother asked me to meet up. I met up with them with some of my friends. My ex was in a group away from where I was. I said hi to her sis when she got close but never made eye contact with the ex and never bothered to go to her group and say hi. In this situation do I come off as an ahole or do I have a legititmate reason to not say anything because she never made the effort either?

How would you guys handle this situation so I can feel more comfortable in the future?

 

[Romjuan]

what if you unexpectdly are at the same place. You mentioned "if you run into her you exchange pleasantries", however, if you kind of see each other at a distance would you think its appropriate to greet and talk to her,, or ignore and let her come to you if anything?

 

[Cyclops]

If you have something say and want to say, then approach and say it. If you don't, anything out of your motuh is going to come off as weird or awkward. Otherwise, a quick hey, and continue back to what you were doing.

 

[nismo-4]

OP, you answered your own question.

She's your ex for a reason. Get over it. Move on. This is why you shouldn't keep up with your exes. That's my verdict.

Case closed. Advance yourself.

 

[CrashOverRide]

FWIW

When I broke up with ex a few years ago... I had this phobia of running into her. I would even try to avoid places I thought she would hang out at....

Well anyway, one day I was standing outside of this bar when I saw her coming up the block.. I'm not sure if she noticed me or not but she definitely kept looking straight as she was approaching. I don't know what came over me.. but I vocally called her name out, she looked at me surprised and nervous but greeted me very warmly. Ever since that day I have no fear of seeing her anywhere.

So the short answer, if you are within close proximity you can say hello... but you don't have to go out of your way to say hi to her if she is in the same room or area as you. You played it right in my opinion

 

[backbreaker]

never had this problem at all. we broke up for a reason. when I am in little rock, my old oneitis and her HUSBAND and my girl go out quite often as a tag team, good times. could not be happier for her.

 

[f283000]

This is why you try to not involve your gf with family/friends too much.

Your ex will try to latch on to your friends thus ruining things with your friends which you introduced to her!

My mother always asks me to introduce her to my gf and I never have. All she knows is that I go out at night and come back late sometimes

I know this might sound a little bit extreme to some of you (keeping your gf away from your family/social circle) but it isn't cause she is just your gf not your wife! Why can't you have fun with her just you two together??

I never understood guys that go around walking hand in hand with their gf everywhere they go. They involve their gf in every little thing of their life. Some guys seem more needy then women now a days they can't take a break at work without calling the gf. What a bunch of pu$$ies!

Just try to keep your girlfriends away from your family/friends as much as possible to avoid drama. Once this gf becomes your ex and tries to latch on to your friends and steal them from you the you will have drama.

 

[Slickster]

I always advise (to try) to keep things cool your exes. You don't have to be buddy buddy with them but if possible there should be no real hard feelings. If you can break up with a girlfriend and not let it affect your common friendships and social circle you really come out looking like a star. Other women you know see this and respect for you goes way up.

There's no reason to waste your time pining or getting into stupid drama with your ex. It makes you look very lame, immature and not in control of your emotions.

If you do happen to run into an ex while you are out, how you react depends on why the break up happened. If the break up happened over a bad situation like cheating or something similar then there's not much reason to be anything but indifferent. In most other cases though it depends on who broke up with who.

If she broke up with you and things are still a little tense then don't go out of your way at all to talk to her or even make eye contact. You have no reason to give her much. If she makes an attempt to be friendly then you should be polite and cool. Show her that you are cool and the breakup doesn't bother you at all.

If you broke up with her and things are still a bit awkward you should be the one putting your best foot forward. You don't need to go crazy or go way out of your way or anything. Just a simple hello and a smile. Maybe a little small talk to show you have no hard feelings.