How to handle a girl who storms off in the city at night.

[Jariel]

This happened a few weeks ago. I was out one night with my girlfriend in the city. We had a bit of a difference of opinion and she stormed off in the other direction. Obviously she was attention seeking and testing if I'd go after her.

Normally I'd know better than to give in to attention games and chase after her, but it's not a safe city for a girl to wander alone and I was worried that if I'd let her go something might happen to her or that she'd resent me for leaving her. So in the end I went after her and apologised just to get her to come with me. Everything was fine after.

However, a couple of nights ago she did exactly the same thing. I told her to stop acting like a spoilt little kid and tried calling her bluff and hope she'd come back to me. I got in my car and went after her only to find she had kept walking. I told her to get in the car and she refused. I was actually quite pissed off by now and wanted to drive off and leave her, but instead I got out and apologised to her, verging on kissing her as$ to get her in the car.

I don't like being played like this, but in women logic, I'd be the bad guy for leaving her. Besides, I'd never live with myself if something bad happened to her.

Just after some opinions on how you guys would handle this.

 

[Advantage]

The first time she did that, maybe your behaviour was excusable. The second time it shouldn't have happened. You should have gotten into the car, and waited for a coupla minutes. If she didnt return, drive home, put your feet up and watch Lost.

You have established a pattern with her, in that you supplicate to her wants and needs - If I were you I'd watch out for this replicating itself in other ways when you interact with her. She will play offended/spoilt to get you to give in to her whims.

Dont ever chase after her again, or she will constantly put herself at risk. Sure its a dangerous city, but as long as she's not a baby she will know this. If she meets dodgy characters its unlikely things will get out of hand, and the mere fact that she met those types of people will scare her into not doing that again if you two fall out.

 

[SamePendo]

Originally posted by Jariel
I'd be the bad guy for leaving her.

Wasn't that the plan anyways?


So, if she comes asking you for money because she doesn't work, you will give it to her because if she *****s around to get it and gets in trouble you won't be able to live with yourself?

I'd give a ton of examples.

How would I handle it? I won't stand up for her **** and leave her drown into the nothingness that she is.

 

[( . )( . )]

I remember your that guy that still sees women as precious flowers who must be protected from the bad men.

Originally posted by Jariel

As you can guess, I spent last night awake, quaking with rage. I'd got it into my head I was going to hunt him down today and beat him down wherever I found him.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=89643

I can imagine this little conundrum of yours would have severely tested your gallant knight brainwashing.
Anyway chicks are alot like children, you should NEVER reward them for bad behaviour. A bad part of the city or not should have nothing to do with you acting like a man who wont tolerate being fvcked around, she pretends to be a big enough girl and decides to be alone then you should accept her stupid decision, go chasing after her and it would be hard to tell whos the more vunerable little girl.

 

[whistler]

Little boob man is an a$$, but he's right about never rewarding her for bad behavior.


In fact, realize that by rewarding her, you're encouraging her to take off by herself.

The reason she did it the second time is because it worked the first.


The next time she does it, you've got a problem. Follow her and you're a shlub. Let her go, and you've really done it because she now fully assumes you'll follow her. It really will be your fault in her eyes if you let her go and she gets scared or hurt.

I'd think twice about the value of a girl that pulls that stuff. They all will be immature. But even that's a bit much for me.

Always, always, be predictable, firm, and calm in your response.

 

[cactus3178]

LMAO. Oh, God. The old "I'm not getting my way about something, so I'm gonna storm off like a little girl" thing.

You shouldn't have chased her the first time, and you sure as hell shouldn't have done it the second time. Bro, the next time that **** happens, let her go. Then you go have fun and forget about it.

Like it was said above, when you reward that kind of behaviour, it becomes the norm.

Hey, if she wants to act like that, let her walk off.

 

[Jariel]

Thanks and I agree with everything that's been said, even though it seems harsh. As I said, if we were elsewhere or it was daytime I wouldn't think twice about ditching her. And yes, now she's done it twice and got her way both times is a bad sign.

However, I have been quite cold with her since and she suspects I'm pissed off. She's a smart girl, she'll work it out.

I might warn her beforehand, but if it happens again I'll take the advice here and won't go chasing after her.

 

[Desdinova]

The reason she did it the second time is because it worked the first.

Exactly.

The thing that sucks is that the man's "protect the weak" instinct kicks in, and goes out so she doesn't get her fvcking purse stolen. Women today exploit this instinct in men to get their own way.

The way I see it: It is entirely her choice to go walking in a bad neighborhood at night. If anything should happen to her, you cannot be the one to blame.

If you let the woman walk away on you and don't chase after her, they will eventually feel like 5hit for pulling this prank and come back. Trust me, they WILL come back.

Now that she knows to exploit this natural instinct you have, she's going to do it again. Then, when you don't chase after her, she's gonna call and ask why you didn't worry about her. Be prepared for this next time.