If anybody knows the history of chosen1 then you know what I'm going through. My question how do I go no contact with my son involved? If I don't call her she will call me. If I tell people not to pick up they do anyways. she called twice yesterday. Just so I could talk to my son. Then she wants me to babysit him cause she has to work. The sad thing is he loves me and says I wanna go with you dada.Its heartbreaking to have to walk away from him.Should I go 100% no contact?
How to go no contact with kids
- Thread starter chosen2
- Start date
Chickfight
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2010
- Messages
- 477
- Reaction score
- 30
No Voluntary contact. If circumstances such as your son require you to make contact, by all means do it, but make sure it's strictly business, and make sure she knows it. Make it clear you do NOT want a romantic relationship with her. No bullsh!t. Good luck bro.
Oh and for fvck sake, you have a son, man up.
Oh and for fvck sake, you have a son, man up.
Razor Sharp
Senior Don Juan
Sorry bro, but there is no such thing as "no contact" with the mother of your child. Not while you are an active parent. You need to get some of these juvenile Don Juan tactics out of your head because you are playing a completely different game now. Like it or not, this person is a part of your life for a very long time.
What you need to do is minimize contact. Only talk to her about the bare essentials regarding your child. Distance yourself from her emotionally. Let time heal the wounds of an embattled relationship. Your final goal should be to make peace with her, and provided she is not being a total b*tch/psycho you should eventually be friends. No need to drag your kid through all this drama - it will be hard enough on him as it is.
This means no calling her because you are lonely. No long, emotional emails or invitations for any type of conflict. If she's being a b*tch, just let her be. Handle your own life/business and look after your kid - that's your #1 priority.
My uncle is going through something very similar right now and he is doing quite well for himself. They have 3 kids together and he's still a great dad, but he is really independent and does his own thing. He hasn't started dating yet because he feels it's too soon, but he has done something which I have found invaluable to my own game:
Befriend as many hotties as you can
The mere act of surrounding yourself with attractive, interesting women will help break the romantic spell your wife has on you. Not only that but it buys you the kind of social proof that 1,000 wingmen could not touch, so once you are ready to court someone new, you will have a rich palette of friend's friends to choose from. It also has the awesome side effect of making you immune to a woman's good looks. Once you get used to being around them, and realize they are just people it makes it much easier to approach them on equal footing.
But that's not something you need to be worrying about right now. These things take time, so at this point you should be focusing on building your own independent world over which she has minimal influence. You can't completely cut her off, but you can draw a line in the sand and set some boundaries.
It's not easy, but it's also not impossible. All you need is willpower and a spine.
What you need to do is minimize contact. Only talk to her about the bare essentials regarding your child. Distance yourself from her emotionally. Let time heal the wounds of an embattled relationship. Your final goal should be to make peace with her, and provided she is not being a total b*tch/psycho you should eventually be friends. No need to drag your kid through all this drama - it will be hard enough on him as it is.
This means no calling her because you are lonely. No long, emotional emails or invitations for any type of conflict. If she's being a b*tch, just let her be. Handle your own life/business and look after your kid - that's your #1 priority.
My uncle is going through something very similar right now and he is doing quite well for himself. They have 3 kids together and he's still a great dad, but he is really independent and does his own thing. He hasn't started dating yet because he feels it's too soon, but he has done something which I have found invaluable to my own game:
Befriend as many hotties as you can
The mere act of surrounding yourself with attractive, interesting women will help break the romantic spell your wife has on you. Not only that but it buys you the kind of social proof that 1,000 wingmen could not touch, so once you are ready to court someone new, you will have a rich palette of friend's friends to choose from. It also has the awesome side effect of making you immune to a woman's good looks. Once you get used to being around them, and realize they are just people it makes it much easier to approach them on equal footing.
But that's not something you need to be worrying about right now. These things take time, so at this point you should be focusing on building your own independent world over which she has minimal influence. You can't completely cut her off, but you can draw a line in the sand and set some boundaries.
It's not easy, but it's also not impossible. All you need is willpower and a spine.
Mantis Toboggan
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2010
- Messages
- 862
- Reaction score
- 58
Chosen1/Chosen2. The fake ex wife.
Freakin troll fest over here. Moderators, I love you, but we really have to crack down on this. A bunch of bored teenagers causing drama.
Freakin troll fest over here. Moderators, I love you, but we really have to crack down on this. A bunch of bored teenagers causing drama.
Razor Sharp
Senior Don Juan
Maybe its a troll and maybe not. Considering the gravity of the situation (cant stop thinking about that poor kid) I will respond.
Personally I don't blame either of you. No offense, but you guys are young and stupid, like I was. Fortunately my f*ckups did not include a child, but really that was blind luck.
Now, if you really are who you say and want what's best for your kid, you are gonna have to give your man some space. No relationship, in the history of mankind has ever gone from intense love to platonic friendship overnight. It's just not possible.
The only chance you have at friendship with homeboy is to let him be. In order for there to be any healing there must be distance. Collaborate on raising the child, but as far as anything else goes (personal life, social life, etc) you both need to go separate ways for a while, at least until all the toxic bullsh*t between you dissipates.
Once a good chunk of time passes, and you both have built your own social circles and maybe have begun dating other people, THEN there is a possibility that you can be friends again. Until then you are just chasing an impossible illusion.
Keep contact at the bare minimum, it's the only way to move things forward amicably.
If you look at his posting history we have given him a hard time for the mistakes he's made. It's obvious he has problems, has not made the best decisions and lacks maturity. Trust me, we don't think he's an innocent victim here.bettathanu said:
Personally I don't blame either of you. No offense, but you guys are young and stupid, like I was. Fortunately my f*ckups did not include a child, but really that was blind luck.
Now, if you really are who you say and want what's best for your kid, you are gonna have to give your man some space. No relationship, in the history of mankind has ever gone from intense love to platonic friendship overnight. It's just not possible.
The only chance you have at friendship with homeboy is to let him be. In order for there to be any healing there must be distance. Collaborate on raising the child, but as far as anything else goes (personal life, social life, etc) you both need to go separate ways for a while, at least until all the toxic bullsh*t between you dissipates.
Once a good chunk of time passes, and you both have built your own social circles and maybe have begun dating other people, THEN there is a possibility that you can be friends again. Until then you are just chasing an impossible illusion.
Keep contact at the bare minimum, it's the only way to move things forward amicably.
Right now I dont want to be friends. You have those. forget what I said we cant work this out.We are poisonous to each other you think the worst of me and I do of you.We are not meant to be friends.You bought out the worst in me when I should have been much better.Despite what the guys say I need to put as much distance between you and myself as possible.If that means not seeing JR for months then so be it.Not everything was your fault but you could have treated me better remember when you had meningitis? I was the only one there for you. You smelt so bad but I didn't care that is my version of love.You said it yourself the only thing we have in common is lil A. We can either try to work this out between us later or never but don't post here again.If these guys did know they would say its ups and downs of realtionships . Just making sure you understand no friendship I need spacebettathanu said:
Myrrdin
Don Juan
Please write proper english. You look like a turbospazzed teen by writing like thisbettathanu said: