How to go about setting boundaries?

[SeeThruIt]

Well if you think being humilated in public by her, being accused by her, her dissing your boundary, her not taking you seriously, her dumping you makes you feel like more a "man" then more power to you!

What did that do for you? You played right into her hands cause she wanted to dump you. That was her whole goal. You allowed that to happen with your actions.

Don't you think dumping her for disrespect on your own terms would make you a real man and give you the power you should have?

That is what a man should do.

Not beng accused and being dumped like you were.

Dumping her on your own terms is not walking away. That is how you should behave.

So you told her you didn't like her flirting. She accused you and dumped you for it. Now she is with other men instead of you.

Yeah your boundary "worked" all right. :crackup:

I get what you're saying man, but I only brought up that "boundary" after I noticed the bad behavior. Before that it was still a "boundary" to me just not verbalized, so essentially it was your method.

I decided to verbalize it so she now knows, which for me was a way to say look maybe you didn't know I wouldn't tolerate that but now you do, now let's see what happens.

Yes she decided she wasn't interested in following and peaced out first, but that just tells me she wasn't the one for me.

 

[sylvester the cat]

So you told her you didn't like her flirting. She accused you and dumped you for it. Now she is with other men instead of you.

Yeah your boundary "worked" all right. :crackup:

good that she's with other men. she is not wanted. we don't want her. do you not understand? she disrespected his boundaries which he was a man to lay down.

you seem to think not verbalising boundaries is not laying down boundaries when it is. if he dumped her that would still have been a form of laying down boundaries.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Maybe it's a semantics things, but serious question - is setting a boundary tantamount to "putting your foot down"?

On the one hand, I envision setting a boundary as you explicitly telling her "you are NOT allowed to do X"

On the other, I'll take an example from my last relationship about a week before we broke up for what I would consider putting one's foot down - met up with ex to eat, told her to come home with me (insinuating sex), she remains adamant that she wants to go back to her place to look after her sick Mom, I insist on going back to my place, she remains steadfast, says "we could still cuddle..." while giving me a (patronizing) sad puppy dog face, I walk out of the car laughing, never said goodbye, went out with friends until 7 in the morning that night without telling her a thing, tell her all about it (my going out) a few hours the next day.

As far as definitions go, do you agree?

 

[sylvester the cat]

Maybe it's a semantics things, but serious question - is setting a boundary tantamount to "putting your foot down"?

On the one hand, I envision setting a boundary as you explicitly telling her "you are NOT allowed to do X"

On the other, I'll take an example from my last relationship about a week before we broke up for what I would consider putting one's foot down - met up with ex to eat, told her to come home with me (insinuating sex), she remains adamant that she wants to go back to her place to look after her sick Mom, I insist on going back to my place, she remains steadfast, says "we could still cuddle..." while giving me a (patronizing) sad puppy dog face, I walk out of the car laughing, never said goodbye, went out with friends until 7 in the morning that night without telling her a thing, tell her all about it (my going out) a few hours the next day.

As far as definitions go, do you agree?

that is a demonstration of a boundary in the service and gratification of your self. boundaries as discussed here are of the type in place to prevent attacks on the self (respect) and confidence. walking out on your girlfriend who chooses to look after her sick mother over getting nailed that night kind of makes you look like a bit uncaring. had she said preferred to go out with a guy friend or some other form of disrespect it would then demonstrate boundaries to protect rather than take.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

if that is a demonstration of boundary then it is for the service of your self. boundaries as discussed here are in place to prevent attacks on self-respect and confidence. walking out on your girlfriend who chooses to look after her sick mother over getting nailed that night kind of makes you look like a bit uncaring. had she said preferred to go out with a guy friend or some other form of disrespect it would be a demonstration of your boundaries.

I agree, it does make me look like a massive d1ck without context - sex (or lack there of really) was a massive issue in our relationship, plus I had reason to believe she was exaggerating the condition her mom was in, and offering to "cuddle" in place of what she very clearly knew was a serious problem with us was, in my eyes, her subcommunicating "I don't give a fvck about this relationship anymore"

 

[sylvester the cat]

good that she's with other men. she is not wanted. we don't want her. do you not understand? she disrespected his boundaries which he was a man to lay down.

you seem to think not verbalising boundaries is not laying down boundaries when it is. if he dumped her that would still have been a form of laying down boundaries.

i just re-read this.

aren't we always telling guys 'actions not words'. women verbalise.

OP you should have dumped her a$$ in the first instance!

 

[guru1000]

In spite of recent circumstances concerning a boundary, I'd like to chime in.

I made a thread about this but the quick gist is this, my ex was flirting with co-workers in my presence during a party. The following day I brought it up and simply stated I'd like that in my presence she not do that.

Well that turned into resentment on her end and she saw this "boundary" as me just not liking her personality and for that reason she ended up breaking up with me.

Now that leads me to wonder if boundaries even work or actually create more problems.

Congrats! Time saved; time is a precious commodity, indeed.

The antithetical position is you say nothing and she dumps you several months from now. Same upshot, different time. Either way, you are getting dumped by a low IL woman.

In the future, set boundaries at the onset of exclusivity to create utility and eliminate ambiguity with an unequivocal "NEXT trigger." Keep your finger on this NEXT trigger; when/if she violates, NEXT.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

You've really become an incoherent babbler with your first comment

How? How? Explain yourself!!! You make no sense!!!

You have brought up NAWALT arguments against me in the past.... How is this not a NAWALT argument?

then a personal attack at the end.

If you say so. That was an observation....for science! If you can see it that way. Well, at least I know you never do personal attacks.

Ive made plenty of mistakes and I enjoy admitting them in order to help my brethren work through their own. This has always been the theme and purpose of this forum, not KJing to protect ego investment.

I'm KJing now? Is that because I called you a Beta (which you are)?

Here is seethruit's GF. Obviously i and others were correct from day 1. Not because I am some alpha e-peen waiver like you, who has no weaknesses or frailties, but because Ive BEEN THERE.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=215770

Hmmmm.....do you happen to notice that I posted in that thread? :kick:
When it comes to women, you are never correct, never.

if youve never dated one of these(because youre so alpha ) then keep your mouth shut when people discuss dating them

I've dated em all Pairs. That's something that you still need to get through your little pea brain.

He does not understand, all he understands is hand wringing over low IL women and his religion of the futility of male endeavor . After all, you as a man are always bad; always in the wrong,always a loser for being rejected, unable to salvage any dignity or sunk costs.

No, it is you who does not understand, you.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Yeah I noticed, and your response in that thread was embarrassing, like this one. Suit yourself.

Do you ever answer questions? Ever? Do you have any idea what you are talking about? Ever? Why dont you ever EXPLAIN your reasoning or thought process? WHY??

Ill tell you why. Ill explain it for you: You're just another lost clueless beta who's taken the red pill so he lives in this imaginary world where he's alpha. Who never has any idea what he's talking about.

You are lost.

 

[Soolaimon]

When you commit to respectful classy women they will respect you and you won't need to place any boundaries on them.

The main problem with the boundary guys is that they commit to disrespectful $hitty women trying to place boundaries on them to "follow their terms".

That never works cause the women do not respect them enough to follow "their terms". It is useless and a waste of time.

The result: ex wives and girlfriends that end up dumping the boundary guys for breaking "the terms" of a boundary the women don't care to follow.

A perfect example of that is below.

I get what you're saying man, but I only brought up that "boundary" after I noticed the bad behavior. Before that it was still a "boundary" to me just not verbalized, so essentially it was your method.

No that is not my method at all.

I wouldn't set a "verbalized boundary" when I noticed her bad behavior. I would dump her for her bad behavior on the spot. That is what real men do. They don't prolong a failed relationship to get dumped by a disrespectful woman disrespecting you. You let it go on without taking action.

Respectful women who respect you do not behave that way.

Disrespectful women will behave that way. That means they won't listen to any "verbalized boundary" you set cause they don't care to follow it.

I bet you anything that this woman was not a proper candidate to be your girlfriend.

I bet you anything that you were having other situations like this during your relationship with her. I bet you kept it going along without you taking action of dumping her when you should have the first time.

If you screened her well at the outset you would know not to commit to her in the first place.

That is your fault for doing that and trying to place late boundaries on a lost cause.

You now can see that the boundary was useless and a waste of time like I've been saying all along.

I decided to verbalize it so she now knows, which for me was a way to say look maybe you didn't know I wouldn't tolerate that but now you do, now let's see what happens.

She knows you played right into her hands so she could dump you to be with other men.

You objected to her behavior and stated "your terms".

She didn't care what you wouldn't tolerate cause she did it anyway and dumped you.

If you dumped her on the spot there would be no need to "verbalize it" cause you would already know she doesn't care with her actions she was already showing.

Now you can see that the "boundary" was useless and was a waste of time. You know not do it again cause it doesn't work.

Yes she decided she wasn't interested in following and peaced out first, but that just tells me she wasn't the one for me.

Yes, that is exactly what she did. The same thing I've been trying to tell the boundary crew for 6 threads now.

Thanks for proving me right again!

You didn't need to set a boundary to come to that conclusion when you can see her clear disrespect right in front of you with your own eyes.

The same result would occur with or without a boundary.

Your relationship is over cause of her lack of attraction, interest, and your value.

The outcome wasn't different with your boundary.

She planned on dumping you and that she did.

You do not need a boundary to dump a woman or to see she is disrespecting you.

You should have dumped her instead of her dumping you with your useless boundary.

Maybe next time you can see thru it. You can see the disrespect for what it is without an useless boundary that did nothing for you except get you dumped.

 

[Soolaimon]

Totally agree with PairPlus here. Thanks to your boundary, you found out that your ex was an attention wh0re who insists(!) on disrespecting you by flirting with other men in your presence. And if she can't do it, then she's going to get mad at you. Is that really the kind of woman that you want in your life? Now you can move on and find someone better suited to your needs. Remember, boundaries are filters.

Zekko and the boundary crew don't have the common sense to know that when your woman is heavily flirting with other men in your presence that is attention wh0ring and is disrespectful behavior.

They need a phony filter from an insecure verbal boundary to determine that is disrespectful after they get dumped rubbing more salt into the wound.

She should be dumped for that on the spot. You don't need a verbal boundary to see her bad behavior or to dump her. They need a boundary or otherwise they can't dump her or see her for what she really is. Pathetic!

They need to set a verbal boundary afterwards having her verbally abuse you, accusing you and turning you into the bad guy, then dumping you with more humiliation to finally come to the conclusion that she was disrespectful and attention wh0ring all along.

Then after they get dumped and humiliated some more they claim the boundary "worked" and they can move on in life with a better woman suited for their needs.

The problem is they will put the same boundaries on another woman who isn't suitable expecting different results.

Now if that isn't delusion I don't know what is.

They cling to that useless imaginary boundary which tells then how to think and how to behave as men. They can't function without it. They have made that very clear.

They can't automatically see with their own eyes that a woman is a disrespectful AW. They need a verbal boundary to tell them that.

They can't automatically dump her without a boundary cause they are scared of deeply hurting her cause they "bonded" even though she is the one hurting them. They have to argue with her for "violating their terms" that she doesn't care about in order for the relationship to end.

They need a boundary to come to the conclusion to figure all that out while taking more disrespect and a dumping from her when she violated "their terms" that she doesn't care about.

Then they claim they are "men of power" and that boundaries "work".

Hilarious!

Boundaries are useless and don't work.

You will get the same results with or without a boundary with a woman who disrespects you.

So three months of dating doesn't tell you if she's an attention wh0re or not? But an overt logical boundary will do that? Having her simply say "yes" to your boundary rules will tell you everything you need to know about her attention whoring?

Holy Christ, this site has officially put itself in the $hitter.

Crazy and pathetic isn't it? "Verbal Boundary rules" is the light bulb to their thinking. Without it nobody is home.

They cant tell on their own what disrespectful behavior from a woman is.

They can't dump a woman without a boundary either.

Their boundary does their talking and thinking for them in which they take disrespect and a dumping from their woman claiming they feel like "real men" and the boundary "worked".

Real men don't get dumped by the way. Real men do the dumping.

You don't need a boundary to see what disrespectful behavior is from a woman.

You don't need a boundary to dump a woman.

Grow some balls and just do it!

Anybody that tells you that you need a boundary to determine women's bad behavior or to dump a woman is a complete idiot.

 

[The411]

Zekko and the boundary crew don't have the common sense to know that when your woman is heavily flirting with other men in your presence that is attention wh0ring and is disrespectful behavior.

They need a phony filter from an insecure verbal boundary to determine that is disrespectful after they get dumped rubbing more salt into the wound.

She should be dumped for that on the spot. You don't need a verbal boundary to see her bad behavior or to dump her. They need a boundary or otherwise they can't dump her or see her for what she really is. Pathetic!

They need to set a verbal boundary afterwards having her verbally abuse you, accusing you and turning you into the bad guy, then dumping you with more humiliation to finally come to the conclusion that she was disrespectful and attention wh0ring all along.

Then after they get dumped and humiliated some more they claim the boundary "worked" and they can move on in life with a better woman suited for their needs.

The problem is they will put the same boundaries on another woman who isn't suitable expecting different results.

Now if that isn't delusion I don't know what is.

They cling to that useless imaginary boundary which tells then how to think and how to behave as men. They can't function without it. They have made that very clear.

They can't automatically see with their own eyes that a woman is a disrespectful AW. They need a verbal boundary to tell them that.

They can't automatically dump her without a boundary cause they are scared of deeply hurting her cause they "bonded" even though she is the one hurting them. They have to argue with her for "violating their terms" that she doesn't care about in order for the relationship to end.

They need a boundary to come to the conclusion to figure all that out while taking more disrespect and a dumping from her when she violated "their terms" that she doesn't care about.

Then they claim they are "men of power" and that boundaries "work".

Hilarious!

Boundaries are useless and don't work.

You will get the same results with or without a boundary with a woman who disrespects you.




Crazy and pathetic isn't it? "Verbal Boundary rules" is the light bulb to their thinking. Without it nobody is home.

They cant tell on their own what disrespectful behavior from a woman is.

They can't dump a woman without a boundary either.

Their boundary does their talking and thinking for them in which they take disrespect and a dumping from their woman claiming they feel like "real men" and the boundary "worked".

Real men don't get dumped by the way. Real men do the dumping.

You don't need a boundary to see what disrespectful behavior is from a woman.

You don't need a boundary to dump a woman.

Grow some balls and just do it!

Anybody that tells you that you need a boundary to determine women's bad behavior or to dump a woman is a complete idiot.

In Fooli's world he never even followed his parents useless verbalized boundaries, nor his teachers, nor authority, nor employers.

Fooli doesn't even live within the boundaries of reality. Fooli prefers to live within the boundary of his own dishonest delusions.

Like it or not Fooli, boundaries are real. Even your verbalized boundary of not accepting boundaries. :yes:

 

[Soolaimon]

Its extremely difficult, for me and others, to deeply hurt a girl you have bonded with on what appears to be a completely arbitrary and irrational reaction, out of nowhere and with no notice. You yourself believe it ia perfectly OK, how much more so women. Simply acknowledging that this is the case for many men should, if thinking abstractly, allow you to permit boundaries as a tactic for such men.

If I hadnt set the boundary at the outset of the relationship I would NOT have said anything over her hanging out with that beta.

Beta mindset right here of needing a "verbal boundary" or otherwise you can't dump her or say anything at all to her about disrespectful behavior. You need this woman cause you are afraid to dump her on your own without a boundary.

good that she's with other men. she is not wanted. we don't want her. do you not understand? she disrespected his boundaries which he was a man to lay down.

you seem to think not verbalising boundaries is not laying down boundaries when it is. if he dumped her that would still have been a form of laying down boundaries.

According to pairplusroyalflush and "guru's boundary method" she is wanted cause you guys are too scared to "deeply hurt" a girl you "bonded" with to dump her without a boundary even though she disrespected you with $hitty behavior. Nice contradiction!

No I don't think that at all. That is what you are assuming.

I have always stated that men need to have their own code of laws that they need to have and execute a dumping when women break them.

I've said "defining terms" "setting expectations" "giving rules" to her is useless cause when she doesn't care to follow them anymore she will break them with ease.

Every woman that these guys set boundaries with did that with no problem when they lost interest.

Instead of dumping her on the spot when she breaks your boundary you still argue with her about "violating your terms" afraid to dump her until she dumps you.

If you aren't going to enforce your own boundary and execute on the spot for a violation why even bother to set one?

You guys need a boundary cause you can't determine her disrespectful behavior and are unable to dump her without one.

How pathetic is that?

zekko and pairplusroyalflush has made that very clear in their own words.

You don't need a verbalized boundary to dump a woman or to determine what disrespectful behavior is when you have the foresight, experience, and are a real man.

When you become exclusive with $hitty women you will get $hitty results when they break "your terms" of your boundary they don't care to follow.

 

[The411]

[/B]

Beta mindset right here of needing a "verbal boundary" or otherwise you can't dump her or say anything at all to her about disrespectful behavior. You need this woman cause you are afraid to dump her on your own without a boundary.


[/B]

According to pairplusroyalflush and "guru's boundary method" she is wanted cause you guys are too scared to "deeply hurt" a girl you "bonded" with to dump her without a boundary even though she disrespected you with $hitty behavior. Nice contradiction!

No I don't think that at all. That is what you are assuming.

I have always stated that men need to have their own code of laws that they need to have and execute a dumping when women break them.

I've said "defining terms" "setting expectations" "giving rules" to her is useless cause when she doesn't care to follow them anymore she will break them with ease.

Every woman that these guys set boundaries with did that with no problem when they lost interest.

Instead of dumping her on the spot when she breaks your boundary you still argue with her about "violating your terms" afraid to dump her until she dumps you.

If you aren't going to enforce your own boundary and execute on the spot for a violation why even bother to set one?

You guys need a boundary cause you can't determine her disrespectful behavior and are unable to dump her without one.

How pathetic is that?

zekko and pairplusroyalflush has made that very clear in their own words.

You don't need a verbalized boundary to dump a woman or to determine what disrespectful behavior is when you have the foresight, experience, and are a real man.

When you become exclusive with $hitty women you will get $hitty results when they break "your terms" of your boundary they don't care to follow.

Fooli your verbalized anti-boundary boundary is useless. :yes:

 

[Pardner]

Is it possible to set boundaries AFTER the relationship is already in motion?

What kind of boundaries are you trying to set?

 

[El Payaso]

What kind of boundaries are you trying to set?

Just typical relationship boundaries.

 

[Soolaimon]

The boundary forced the issue. Shed some light on this doomed relationship. He was a man. He stated his boundary. She refused to heed it. She left. Case closed. End of story.

The boundary was useless. It was a waste of time. It did nothing for him except to get him verbally abused, humiliated more, and dumped by her

Is that your idea of what being a "man" is?

He should have dumped her for disrespectful public behavior and started hitting on other women.

Not setting a boundary after being publicly humiliated by her out of fear of losing her and the insecurity of the other men she flirted with. That is not being a man.

Any beta will try to do that when they see the relationship slipping away. That is why they set boundaries out of insecurity and fear. You believe in doing that as well with your boundary theory.

Real men don't "verbalize words" setting a boundary with disrespectful women like betas. They use action to dump them.

Haven't you ever heard the phrase "Judge a woman by her actions and not her words"?

All of you betas who cling to your verbal boundary for assurance are only going on her "verbalized words" with your boundary theory. You want her to verbally agree to "your terms" but you are clueless to any of her actions with her $hitty behavior going on right in front of you.

Your beta boundary theory goes against any DJ logic. You guys are judging women on their words and not their actions. You have it ass backwards.

The results are you guys getting dumped by women having ex wives and girlfriends.



Your boundary beta theory:


Woman's Actions: Flirting with other men disrespecting you in public.

You guys are unable to see her $hitty disrespectful behavior right in front of you. Alphas would dump her for that.


Verbal boundary words by the boundary crew: "That was disrespectful behavior. I want you agree not to do that again."

Instead of dumping her like you should for her $hitty actions you want her to agree to "your terms" of your boundary after she disrespected you.

That will never work cause she has no respect for you.

seethruit found that out when he attempted that with his ex. She verbally abused him and then dumped him with ease.


You are unable to execute a dumping on her actions under your own power.

You need to set a verbal boundary for her to agree to "your terms" in order to do anything. That will get you verbally abused by her and then dumped.

You are judging her on her words instead of her actions.

That goes against all DJ logic.


Sorry, but my way of dumping her outright is better than being verbally abused and dumped like a beta with your theory.

Why would he want to be with a woman who did not respect his boundaries and, by association, him? or are you so desperate that you'd sacrifice your own self-respect (guarded by boundaries) to be with a woman who doesn't respect you? that is what it sounds like.

WTF are you talking about? Can you not read the written word?

I said he should have dumped her instead of setting a boundary after she humiliated him.

You are the one who is desperate cause you are unable to dump her on the spot for disrespect. You agreed with him to set boundaries after the fact she publicly disrespected him.

That is being desperate. That is sacrificing your own self-respect trying to still be with a woman who doesn't respect you by setting a boundary after she humiliates you. She will never follow the boundary cause she has no respect.

That is what you agree with and support with your boundary theory.

You are arguing with me saying he was a "man" to set boundaries with a disrespectful woman after she publicly disrespected him in front of other people.

You don't need to set a boundary to finally learn that the woman is full of $hit when you can see the $hit going on right in front of you.

You guys judge women on "words" and not action like you should be doing.

Your boundary theory sucks.

You boundary guys sure have no fvking clue what you are even talking about.

 

[sylvester the cat]

The boundary was useless. It was a waste of time. It did nothing for him except to get him verbally abused, humiliated more, and dumped by her

Is that your idea of what being a "man" is?

He should have dumped her for disrespectful public behavior and started hitting on other women.

Not setting a boundary after being publicly humiliated by her out of fear of losing her and the insecurity of the other men she flirted with. That is not being a man.

Any beta will try to do that when they see the relationship slipping away. That is why they set boundaries out of insecurity and fear. You believe in doing that as well with your boundary theory.

Real men don't "verbalize words" setting a boundary with disrespectful women like betas. They use action to dump them.

Haven't you ever heard the phrase "Judge a woman by her actions and not her words"?

All of you betas who cling to your verbal boundary for assurance are only going on her "verbalized words" with your boundary theory. You want her to verbally agree to "your terms" but you are clueless to any of her actions with her $hitty behavior going on right in front of you.

Your beta boundary theory goes against any DJ logic. You guys are judging women on their words and not their actions. You have it ass backwards.

The results are you guys getting dumped by women having ex wives and girlfriends.





WTF are you talking about? Can you not read the written word?

I said he should have dumped her instead of setting a boundary after she humiliated him.

You are the one who is desperate cause you are unable to dump her on the spot for disrespect. You agreed with him to set boundaries after the fact she publicly disrespected him.

That is being desperate. That is sacrificing your own self-respect trying to still be with a woman who doesn't respect you by setting a boundary after she humiliates you. She will never follow the boundary cause she has no respect.

That is what you agree with and support with your boundary theory.

You are arguing with me saying he was a "man" to set boundaries with a disrespectful woman after she publicly disrespected him in front of other people.

You don't need to set a boundary to finally learn that the woman is full of $hit when you can see the $hit going on right in front of you.

You guys judge women on "words" and not action like you should be doing.

Your boundary theory sucks.

You boundary guys sure have no fvking clue what you are even talking about.

ok. hang on a second.

1) verbally laying down the boundaries
or
2) walking out

are two sides of the same coin.

1) doesn't entertain the notion he is being disrespected because he has self-respect. he doesn't need anyone else's respect so is happy to lay down these rules. it is his way of testing her.

2) is a poosy, always being tested (or so he thinks), eternally scared that he is going to be humiliated because he has no self-respect and relies on others for his sense of happiness. shoots first, asks questions later cos he's too sh1t scared of being humiliated by others all the time.

p.s - what do you mean 'the boundary was useless'? it was the boundary that brought this doomed relationship to a close rather than have it stretch for more time. how is that useless?

 

[SeeThruIt]

I still agree with setting boundaries even though mine made my ex get pissed and defensive stating I simply don't like her personality. Which to me sounds like she knew she was wrong but did not want to own up to it.

Also been talking to a new girl and she mentioned a crazy ex who'd constantly get annoyed by something she did and he'd just walk away and not talk to her for days forcing her to reach out and figure out what happened (which is basically what you're saying for us boundary people to do)

Well she said she was sick of it because she never knew when he was going to do that so it felt like she was walking on egg shells. She said if he had been more specific about "guidelines" it may have saved the relationship since she never had any idea if what she was doing was acceptable for him.

 

[wakingup]

Boundary Method Example

Bob sets a boundary with his woman before the relationship starts.

Woman: Bob I want to be exclusive with you.

Bob: My terms of a relationship is that you do not hang out with other men 1 on 1 or with any orbiters.

Woman: Ok Bob I totally agree to those terms.

Bob and the woman become exclusive.

7 months later Bob's woman starts losing interest in Bob. She hangs out Dlck a former fvk buddy from the past. Bob dumps her for breaking the terms of his boundary.




Non Boundary Method example

Bob has his expectations of how he believes a woman should behave in a relationship.

He believes women should already know the written rules of relationships.

Bob becomes exclusive with his woman.

7 months later Bob's woman starts losing interest in Bob. She hangs out Dlck a former fvk buddy from the past. Bob dumps her for breaking the written rules of a relationship.


What is the difference with having a boundary or not?

There is none.

In both examples the woman was losing interest in Bob.

She hung out with Dlck breaking the terms of Bob's boundary.

She hung out with Dlck breaking the terms of the written rules of a relationship.

The woman was automatically dumped for misbehaving in both cases.

The relationship ended in both cases cause Bob has the power to dump her.

It was about her lost interest, attraction, and Bob's value in both examples like it is for every relationship.

There is no difference with having a boundary or no boundary.

The same outcome will occur when the woman loses interest and attraction for you.

She will still want other men when she loses interest. The relationship will end with or without a boundary when she misbehaves and she gets dumped by the man.

You don't need a boundary for any of this happen.

Why can't some of you guys understand this?

It isn't that difficult.






Jurry it's obvious these guys can't read, comprehend the written word. All they do is repeat the same fallacy over again. They don't want to admit the whole point of the boundary is useless cause of their own insecurities.



I don't have no idea why this would be so hard to understand?

Telling her what you "expect" verbally becomes a waste of time when she doesn't comply to those expectations when her IL is 0 months later.

You are still going to do what I have written above anyway when she breaks "your terms". That is dumping her.

You don't need a verbal boundary to have the conviction of being a strong man.

High Value Men don't waste time with useless boundaries cause they ALWAYS have more women available. They aren't concerned with only ONE woman who might misbehave. If she does she gets replaced!




Still lying and contradicting yourself?

First you say a woman doesn't know the rules.

Then you say if she is too stupid to know what they are after (meaning the orbiters) she is not worth committing to.

Only an idiot wouldn't know what an exclusive relationship means. That is a woman you don't want to be with period!

She will never have any common sense to understand anything at all. Those are women to avoid for exclusive relationships!

That is why you screen and filter before becoming exclusive.

Setting verbal boundaries is not needed when they are easily broken later on.

The example of that above makes it clear.

Judge a woman on her actions. Not her verbal words to "your terms". Verbal words are useless when they are broken. Her behavior is what determines if she is worthy to be exclusive with.

I agree with your contradiction!

Question for you, you live your whole life as an AFC then you die

OR

you live your whole life as a DJ then you die,

in the end, did it really matter? of course it did.