How to get the guy to call instead of email

[zolo]

NJGirl, why do you feel the need to attack me and call me angry? As you have stated, you do not know me, how can you make such an assumption?

I did notice however that you decided not to answer the "hypothetical guy question" which leads me to belive that I am correct in my assumption

 

[zolo]

Dez, their is no anger here, just the truth.

A real DJ will call a girl on her BS, an AFC wont.

Wether NJGirl is a woman or man, is irrelavent. Many girls do pull this I wont ask a guy out BS. Like I said before it is their way of protecting themself from rejection. They are so afraid of being rejected that the convince themseves that is the man's job to ask them out.

Women project their insecurites on men all the time. And try to blame them for it. For instace heels:

Here is the typical senario. Girl is 5'2" but she is insecure about being too short, so she wears 4" heels all the time (even those foam flip flop things) making her 5'6" so she feels better about herself.

Now, inorder to be socially acceptable in public, she needs to date a guy who is 6" taller than her (in heels of course since she is always in them) requiring her man to be 6' tall.

Then their excuse is I like taller men. See all they are doing is projecting their insecurity of being too short on the menn they date.

Call it anger if you will, I call it the truth. Only AFC's tolerate this type of BS from girls, and you making the comment you did is very AFCish

 

[spider_007]

This thread PISSED me right off. Why does a guy always have to ask the chick out (or make the first move). Every time he does that he has to put his igo on the fvckin like, so that the gurl can crush it. Its the year 2000 now, the new millenium, WTF.

As for your quiestion, just give him a hint. (so simple it hurts)

 

[DJDamage]

This thread PISSED me right off. Why does a guy always have to ask the chick out (or make the first move). Every time he does that he has to put his igo on the fvckin like, so that the gurl can crush it. Its the year 2000 now, the new millenium, WTF.

TO SEPARATE THE MEN FROM THE BOYS.

 

[NJGirl]

I am really a woman. I am short and I don't wear 4" heels because they are impractical and I look just as good in flats or low heels. I date short men and tall men. I date heavy ones and thin ones. If I received an email from a guy I would still wait for him to ask me out. I wait for the guy to ask me out because it makes me feel like a lady.

 

[zolo]

Sit back and wait for her to ask, that way you SEPERATE THE WOMEN FROM THE LITTLE GIRLS

 

[insomniac]

I've seen this a number of times. In one of my clubs, some of the girls will start e-mailing out of the blue. Usually it's some excuse, like asking me a question about when an event is going or whatever. But, they keep writing when I reply, saying things like "it'd be fun to go to this place" or "what are you doing this weekend?". It's obvious they want me to ask them out, but they'll never actually say it. I don't really mind, I just accept that most women aren't going to be the first to ask (some are overly aggresive on the other hand). So, if I'm interested, eventually I bring up getting together and of course they jump all over it.

If you haven't already, drop hints...obvious hints...as close as you can get to saying "I want to meet up with you" without actually saying it. Then you preserve your rule and he might finally figure it out.

If that doesn't work, he's likely not interested and will reject you if you ask him out...that or he's just scared, shy, or just not very bright.

 

[Cloud-uk]

Originally posted by DJDamage
TO SEPARATE THE MEN FROM THE BOYS.

Bingo.

Also, this is a site for guys, what are you doing here? Seriously, this is a site for straight guys, and although it's totally fine for anyone to post here, for christ's sake read the DJ bible so you know what we're about. One of the key ideas here is not to overanalyse, and that is exactly what you're doing, and this beinga guy's site you'll only get hypothetical and male based advice, because none of us have had the experience of having a vagina.

 

[TizZle]

A woman wanting advice from a Don Juan website. This should be closed IMO. Seriously, there are women's dating websites out there. Go find them.

 

[DJHoolahoop]

and honestly how far off is she? you guys make it seem like you get ASKED out by women all the time. face it she's not being any different from all the other women out there who expect or want the guy to ask THEM out.

honestly if the guy is too SHY to do so, then that should be your cue of whether or not you're going to sit around for it. From my experience, there have been girls i talk to and just haven't asked for their phone number. don't know why, maybe cuz i just don't generally like talkin on the phone?

anyways, i would either throw cues at him in some way or just hope that if he's interested that he has the balls to do ask u. it's not exactly easy to not say "call me" and hope he does.

 

[wjh]

Originally posted by zolo
Wether NJGirl is a woman or man, is irrelavent. Many girls do pull this I wont ask a guy out BS. Like I said before it is their way of protecting themself from rejection. They are so afraid of being rejected that the convince themseves that is the man's job to ask them out.

heh, I think this is where it all stems from: Fear. I agree that they feel the same thing guys do, a fear of rejection prior to taking that leap of judgment, it's that moment where you say "hey i like you let's do something" (not in those words). But, are we trying to save the world here or score chicks? Personally, I don't think changing these social dynamics is easy, and I don't think I care to when I could be investing that energy getting laid.

 

[spukee]

:crackup:

I just think it's funny that -on a site dedicated to teaching guys how to play the dating game- so many forumers would give NJGirl crap for "playing games."

NJGirl: If you don't feel comfortable asking the guy out, that's fine. Your best bet then is to make sure he knows you're interested. Find small reasons to touch him (play kino, as it were), and flirt with him. If the guy doesn't get the hint after a little while he's either dense, or you need to move on because he's just not interested in that kind of relationship.

 

[MindOverMatter]

talk to him over msn or something instead of email if he has it. keep flirting with him, give him the impression you're single (i.e. no games, like talking about how other guys are after you in order to make him think he has to compete for your time), but at the same time don't complain about being single.

keep it up until he asks you out, or you realize he's not into you.

 

[The Monkey]

Originally posted by DJDamage
TO SEPARATE THE MEN FROM THE BOYS.

THANK YOU!

 

[Wyldfire]

NJGirl...I'm the same way about asking guys out. I flat out won't do it. It is the man's job to do the pursuing, period. As women, it is our responsibility to make the man want to ask us out IF we want him to and NOT to send mixed signals to the guys we DON'T want to ask us out.

Now, this situation is a bit unique because you said you've already been romantically involved with him in the past. If you are the one who put an end to it he might be too afraid of rejection to go for it. If that is the case you are going to have to be a bit more blunt and forward with the hints to help him get over that. If he was the one who ended things, you have to remember that if he did, he had a reason and he might just not be interested in going out again.

All you can do is be a clear as you can with the cues and do your best to let him know that if he does want to ask you out, that you won't say no, of course without coming right out and saying that....but make it as clear as possible in a subtle way.

Oh...and don't mind the guys who feel compelled to attack you for daring to post here while sporting a pair of boobs. It's like the dorky freckled boy who sat behind you in the 3rd grade yanking your piggy tails...a desperate cry for any attention from a girl they can get...even if it's negative.

 

[JonJack]

This is an extremely weird thread. Reason being the fact that a few guys who've posted replies seem to want to change the way NJGirl feels about pursuing guys. So what if girls don't want to ask guys out for a date? As men, we really don't need every single girl in this world to ask us out if they want to. There really should be no reason why we would want them to, unless we're so afraid of being rejected or we're shy. Otherwise, just do it and let them girls wait for us to do it.

I really don't understand what the hell is being accomplished by making girls ask guys out first.

 

[Engetsu]

My advice: talk to him about sex. It will get him turned on, and more excited to talk to you. Then, leave your phone number. If he doesn't call, he is either 1) a fajjot or 2) not interested. In both cases, you don't want a man like that.

Also, this is a straight male forum, like Cloud-uk said, and even though we welcome you with very open arms, I personally believe that you would be better receiving pointers and tips on how to seduce men on another type of forum.

That being said, I agree that women should not ask men out. It shows who is in control of the relationship, and is just plain old common sense.

 

[spukee]

Originally posted by JonJack
This is an extremely weird thread. Reason being the fact that a few guys who've posted replies seem to want to change the way NJGirl feels about pursuing guys. So what if girls don't want to ask guys out for a date? As men, we really don't need every single girl in this world to ask us out if they want to. There really should be no reason why we would want them to, unless we're so afraid of being rejected or we're shy. Otherwise, just do it and let them girls wait for us to do it.

I really don't understand what the hell is being accomplished by making girls ask guys out first.

heh, I think a lot of the guys on this forum see women as the "enemy." I dunno if it's jaded frustration, or just a lack of understandning, but it's rather disturbing.

 

[sexual_intellectual]

Originally posted by NJGirl
Ok, so I contacted someone I had a short romance with. There info was on Classmates. We have been emailing and IMing for over a week. My rule is I don't ask the guy out.......anything I can say or do to get him to ask me out?

I'm glad you're not asking him out yourself - for me its a turnoff if a woman is trying too hard to get me!

If you've made it clear you like him somehow, then just give him your number for some innocent reason, then stop replying to his emails.

If he's into you, he'll make sure he uses the number!

 

[earthshyne]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
NJGirl...I'm the same way about asking guys out. I flat out won't do it. It is the man's job to do the pursuing, period.

Wyld, I'm astounded. You're better than this. The man's job? A woman who plays these little mind games with men is going to end up with a man who falls for them. And what kind of victory is that?