How to get over that dreaded... oneitis!

[silverwex]

How to get over that dreaded... oneitis!

A lot of you may have contracted that dreaded disease/feeling of oneitis! Here's a few tips on how to get over it/avoid it in the future. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about here - I've been there soo many times.


Avoiding Oneitis

Unfortunately, there's no 'condom' or magic pill you can use to avoid picking oneitis up so you gotta be very careful when you date/meet a new girl. Here are some of the major things that bring on oneitis - AVOID these actions:


- Seeing the girl too often
Try and only see her once (twice - MAX) a week. The more you see her the more you'll grow to like her and the less of a challenge you'll become. I recently came out of oneitis. What brought it on for me was that my DJ-mind was saying: Hey silverwex, calm it down man, only see her once a week ok?! But my dyck was saying "Meet her now and tomorrow and the next day!". Unfortunately my dyck won my mind over and i blew it. So DONT SEE HER MORE THAN TWICE A WEEK!


- Jumping in too soon
Never get too serious with her too soon. Review the situation (e.g. Does she REALLY like me? Is she potential LTR material? etc.) and then act accordingly. If she has high IL be a challenge! If she has medium-low IL BE A CHALLENGE too. You jump in too soon and you get kicked out twice as fast! So stand back and let her do the chasing/jumping in!


- Thinking about her 24/7
Big bad move my friends! KEEP BUSY! Take up new hobbies, immerse yourself in your work, see your friends! Go clubbing etc. Just take your mind off her. I know it's hard but try! The more you do it the easier it'll get!


- Ringing her/Texting her/Talking to her
Dont ring her more than twice a week. When you're on the phone to her ALWAYS keep it short my friends. Cut off the conversation after, at most, TEN MINUTES. Always cut it off on a high note though. Keep her laughing and guessing and then when its on a high say something like: "Hey listen i better go now, got things to do! Talk to you later."


OVERCOMING ONEITIS

This is hard! It's never easy my friends, for if it was you wouldnt have oneitis in the first place!

DO these to overcome that dreaded feeling:

- See/Date other Girls:
When the bad bad feeling hits say: "Right im hurting now, but im gonna do something about it!". Get a few of your boys and go out! Drink, be merry and chat up other ladies! The best way to get over a girl is to get under another, as they say! Get some numbers, use C+F, kino, neg-hits etc and seduce other women! You'll feel so much better! And if the woman you have oneitis for sees you doing this it'll say to her: "FVCK YOU! I dont need you - look at me! Im having a laugh with other women! HAHA! I can do better than you!".

- Hang with your Boys
Right this is what I did when i was trying to overcome that bad feeling - I hung around my friends! Usually Id be stuck at home in the evenings on my own after work but when i contracted this disease I said to myself "Right, im not gonna be alone ANY night this week!" So i went for a walk/drink/chilling session with the boys and it took my mind of things, do this for as long as it takes, especially in the evenings (thats when it hits you bad!) and soon enough you'll start to feel better. Do whatever ya want with you friends, go for a drink, go see a film, go chat chicks up, play soccer/football whatever!!! BUT DONT STAY AT HOME DEPRESSED! If you do itll get worse and worse!


- Avoid the Places she socialises in
If she goes out at the weekend to certian nightspots AVOID THESE PLACES! Because you'll see her out and those bad feelings will return. Im not saying "Let her choose where you should go!" or "Shes got power over you!" but just avoid these places until you get over her. Trust me, its the best way! Then when you're over her go out to these places and get other chicks - shell see this and may even get jealous! Youll also be saying to her "I dont need you! Im having fun without you!"


- Get Busy!
Immerse yourself in your work, hobbies whatever! If you dont work or have hobbies - get a job/get a new hobby! It helps immensely! And you get to meet other chicks through these means! Dont just sit there saying "Yeah youre right man!" Actually go do it... NOW!!!


- Visit this Forum
Yes, this is one of the best places to get through oneitis. I came here every day when i had oneitis and asked advice, read new articles etc and it helped me loads! If i hadnt done this i would still be wallowing in my self pity right now! But im not! Thanks sosuave.com


- Read the Bible
No! Not the Holy Bible! (Well do that if you want ) Read the excellent DJ Bible, the link is at the top of this page!


- Ask and You Shall Receive!
And finally, ASK US for advice! We fellow DJ's will help ya through by whatever means we can! Just post and we'll get back to ya! Thats what we're here for!


- Remind yourself that you're a DJ
Keep telling yourself this and continue to practice what sosuave.com tells you! It helps!


YOURE NOT ALONE IN ONEITIS - FOR YOU HAVE YOUR FELLOW DJS HERE BY YOUR SIDE!

 

[oOh Nasty]

good post

 

[TC guy]

Thanks a lot for the tips. Your tips is very revelant to me right now as I'm currently battling a bad case of oneitis and believe me, it's a ugly fight.

I have a question for you silverwex. You said to "avoid the place she goes to" which I have been doing right now to avoid seeing her. But the problem for me is that my oneitis always show up to my workplace to shop (I work as a salesman in retail) every few weeks and seeing her kind of set me back on my progress toward overcoming this oneitis.

Last week was even worst when she came up to me at work with her boyfriend. During this encounter, I pretended on the outside like it was no big deal. I smile and chat with them like I would with a regular customer. But deep down inside me, seeing her with another guy makes me feels like someone is ripping my heart out. I feel like a special part of me is lost.

I know I'm am such a AFC, is pathetic and need to be ***** slap but to continue on my path to a DJ, I know I have to overcome this oneitis.

My question is how do you deal with a situation like this where you have no choice on whether you see her or not?

 

[silverwex]

Hi man, sorry to hear about that. And it's true that you have a feeling of something has been taken away from you - i know that only too well. But look at it from this poitn of view: NOTHING has been taken away from you in a physical sense. Before you even knew her you were THE MAN. Then you got with her and now shes gone. You're still THE MAN. Nothing has changed when you think about it...

Last week was even worst when she came up to me at work with her boyfriend. During this encounter, I pretended on the outside like it was no big deal. I smile and chat with them like I would with a regular customer.

This is EXACTLY what you should be doing. Well done for that. Show her that you dont care, even if you do. Itll make her think "Wow, hes not effected by me showing off my new man!". And that is a good thing when she sees youre not upset COZ YOURE ACTING LIKE A DJ - hell you ARE A DJ!

I dont really know how to avoid seeing her in your workplace. In my AFC days id say to you "Tell her not to call in coz it hurts" but DONT do that! Just go on a break or something if she comes in? OR would that be inconvenient?

OR...

Maybe you should face the challenge head on! Youre a budding DJ - they aint scared of nothing! Im going out again tonight and the girl i have/had oneitis for will be out too. But im nearly over her thanks to this site and im gonna show her ive a good time without her (think seh knows that already tho!).

Sorry with the vague answer im really busy at the moment and this had to be a rush job! LEt me know how it goes dude. And if youve any more questions... just ask!

 

[TC guy]

Hey thanks a lot. Having this chat really makes me feel a lot better.

Maybe I will just follow your advice and take the challenge head on. When she comes in again at my workplace, I will just keep on smiling and keep on doing what I do when I see a regular customer.

I guess the only thing that I really need is time for me to heal. If it weren't for her coming to my workplace, I guess I would be over her a lot sooner.

 

[Puma]

good post, but...

to completely get rid of oneitis you have to stop caring about what the girl thinks. Who cares if she is jealous? She does not exist anymore as far as you are concerned.

 

[DjDreamer]

When you realise you have one-itis the victory is half won.

You just have to give yourself time to heal...emerge yourself in an activity that doesn't involve the girl you're fixated with...

 

[DJ_Dork]

I disagree with the phone convo part. Girls love to talk on the freaking phone - do it 1-2 times a week.. a nice 2-3 hour talk. If you think you "GIVE AWAY" yourself.. I think you are wrong on that. Those long convo will put more "TRUST" in a relationship which girls like the most. Just do it once-twice a week.

On the meeting the girl once or twice a week.. I think intiially it should be once a week, but after things start getting serious (after about 4-5 dates).. I think she/you would see each other more than once a week but not 3 times a week.. remember you got a life too.

 

[syncronic]

Originally posted by DJ_Dork
I disagree with the phone convo part. Girls love to talk on the freaking phone - do it 1-2 times a week.. a nice 2-3 hour talk. If you think you "GIVE AWAY" yourself.. I think you are wrong on that. Those long convo will put more "TRUST" in a relationship which girls like the most. Just do it once-twice a week.

.

I have to agree. Long conversations have never affected my game negatively. I agree in the rule of not calling her all the time but if shes a hella cool chick and you have great, deep, intense conversations why cut it short? Relationships are about fellowship and communication regardless if shes the ONS type or the LTR type. Not to mention long conversations make your relationship stronger because there is a larger exchange of expressions, emotions and information. Hence an increase in trust. This especially helps when talking to girls with large trust issues because you have already broken more psychological barriers.

great post silverwex. This post should be read by people with depression problems also. I wish i read it 4 years ago when my oneitis was hitting me hard. Thanks for sharing.