How to get her to see me more than a best-friend?

[aritram23]

I am 23 and have known this girl for the last 11 years and she has been calling me her best friend since the last few years. I have always thought of her as just a great friend until I started developing feelings for her 2 years ago. I feared telling her about how I felt but around the end of last year I told her about it and she asked for time to think about it and said that she would love it if we were in a relationship in the future.

I didn't pressurize her and then last month she told me that she felt the same way over the phone in a tone that she couldn't wait to say it until we met again, only to change her mind after four days and said she likes me just as a bestfriend. I stopped replying to her texts and she was afraid and called me the next day and I explained to her that she doesn't need to rush and give it time to let herself feel.

After a few days again she told me she is sure she wants me just to change her mind yet again.She said that she wants to be with me but she isn't feeling the spark.She also says that nobody cared and loved her like this and that she knows that nobody would ever be there like I have been there for her but she isn't feeling it.

Communication is a huge problem and its mostly over the phone. She doesn't have a smartphone of her own which makes her unavailable on social networking sites until she takes it from her sister. She also has a strict family who don't let her go out as often. Mostly her dad accompanies her and she follows her parents like an obedient daughter. Still her mom has known me for years and doesn't mind if she wants to meet me but she gets a very short time and is able to meet like once or twice a month.She has always been a confused girl and never had a relationship before. Any advices on how to spark her interest and to make her see me as more than just her bestfriend?

 

[derricklerrick]

Go no contact or stay as her best friend.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

Try to fake interest in somebody else... it seems like she only needs some pressure to crack.

Be sure to blitz when she starts crumbling, you need to make her see you as a Man.

 

[Desdinova]

Cut contact for a few years and then try again. However, by then you may have met a woman who actually IS interested in having a relationship with you.

There is no quick fix for this. You're actually better off meeting new women.

 

[wifehunter]

Dissappear

 

[AlphaNate]

You're being strung along. I don't know why you'd want a friend that's doing that.

Cease contact or stay her friend.

You can also kiss her and see what happens. Don't think it'll work out how you want it to, though.

 

[derricklerrick]

Don't even try anything with her. With all these years together as a best friend, her seeing you as boyfriend material all of a sudden is highly unlikely. It's like you falling in love with your fat sister who has now transformed into a HB, do you think it'll happen? Probably not because you've seen her all your life as your sister and never as your maybe someday your girlfriend. Now this applies if you're normal, at least. If anything were to happen, it would've happened by now.

Maybe her boyfriend will break up with her someday and she'll be crying to you on the phone. Then you may get some breakup sex from her and even then the day after that she'll start regretting her decision and go back to her boyfriend, leaving you there, emotionally hurt and whatnot.

Do it for yourself and go full no contact. You're only trying to get yourself hurt.

 

[Urbanyst]

She likes your personality and she likes the attention. However, she is not sexually attracted to you.

Pretty obvious too. "Confused" always means "low interest".

Start making more MONEY and see if she stays confused. No smart phone? Sounds like she's broke.

 

[Alvafe]

your feelings means you are lacking woman, so you get what you could think you could get.

the deal here is simple you would need to break her image of you and that will not happen till you stop talking with her and start dating woman, and by the time you do it you will not care about her,

i'm pretty sure too you will ignore what we are saying and you will get burned and hard, then you will see the wisdom

 

[Young OG]

Try kissing her or straight up tell her your not interested in being friends anymore and your only interested in being more then friends. If she isn't down with it, then go no contact. She will contact you if she likes you as more then friends. If she doesn't contact you, then at least you tried. Rejection is better then regret.

 

[nismo-4]

Try kissing her or straight up tell her your not interested in being friends anymore and your only interested in being more then friends. If she isn't down with it, then go no contact. She will contact you if she likes you as more then friends. If she doesn't contact you, then at least you tried. Rejection is better then regret.

Either this or:

1. Continue being her orbiter (best friend)
2. Ditch this b**ch and move on
3. Get another woman
4. Go NC for another 5 years or until I start dating Sofia Vergara, whichever comes first. See if she contacts you by then...BTW I don't see snowflakes in hell yet.

You be the judge.

Case closed.

 

[Muscle brain]

Male friends constantly fall in love with woman Friends.
If you only hang out and talk about everything and anything.
A friend she sees, a friend you be.
Only the s*xual ones get the girls.

"Friendship Abandon all hope ye who enter"

Walk away and never look back

 

[ThisNThat]

Don't even try anything with her. With all these years together as a best friend, her seeing you as boyfriend material all of a sudden is highly unlikely.
Do it for yourself and go full no contact. You're only trying to get yourself hurt.

Come on! This always happens in romantic comedies where male best friends are fawning after their female friends. lol

 

[Glassguy]

Go for the kill.

Ask her out for drinks (separately if you normally do things in a group of friends). Get a few drinks in her, give her a few compliments and kino her. If that goes well, go for the kiss.

If you want your answer then you'll get it. If she gets upset or uncomfortable you'll know your answer but its better than to be left wondering.

For all you know right now, she might be feeling the same thing. You can always blame the kino and kiss on the drinks if she doesnt reciprocate lol.

 

[RalphaWreck]

You don't. Seek a relationship elsewhere.

 

[dude99]

I am 23 and have known this girl for the last 11 years and she has been calling me her best friend since the last few years. I have always thought of her as just a great friend until I started developing feelings for her 2 years ago. I feared telling her about how I felt but around the end of last year I told her about it and she asked for time to think about it and said that she would love it if we were in a relationship in the future.

I didn't pressurize her and then last month she told me that she felt the same way over the phone in a tone that she couldn't wait to say it until we met again, only to change her mind after four days and said she likes me just as a bestfriend. I stopped replying to her texts and she was afraid and called me the next day and I explained to her that she doesn't need to rush and give it time to let herself feel.

After a few days again she told me she is sure she wants me just to change her mind yet again.She said that she wants to be with me but she isn't feeling the spark.She also says that nobody cared and loved her like this and that she knows that nobody would ever be there like I have been there for her but she isn't feeling it.

Communication is a huge problem and its mostly over the phone. She doesn't have a smartphone of her own which makes her unavailable on social networking sites until she takes it from her sister. She also has a strict family who don't let her go out as often. Mostly her dad accompanies her and she follows her parents like an obedient daughter. Still her mom has known me for years and doesn't mind if she wants to meet me but she gets a very short time and is able to meet like once or twice a month.She has always been a confused girl and never had a relationship before. Any advices on how to spark her interest and to make her see me as more than just her bestfriend?

You are buying her sugar coated schit sandwiches.

She views you as a friend and will never view you as anything else.

She would love to be with you in a relationship in the future? When? An hour from now month, year? Vague answers like this is her buying time so you stop pressuring her. She is still saying no.

She knows you love her and knows she will never be treated like she is by you but she isn't feeling it. Aka she sees you as a guy she will never have sex with at this moment. She is still saying no.

You should have never opened your mouth and told her how you felt. As soon as you do that you defeat challenge and her interest plummeted, if she had any.

What you need to do now is not be available for her. Not be there not be her best friend be as busy as possible. You have to become a challenge. You are always there for her, you are not being a challenge therefore she will always see you as someone at her disposal.

Become busy. Don't return her phone calls when you talk to her don't make much time. Always show you are upbeat and happy to see her but you don't have time like you used to.
Date other girls. If she is interested at all she will let you know that the decline in time with you bothers her. The fact that you are chasing other girls will bother her.

If she isn't interested then she will not let you know any of this bothers her and you can then stop wasting time on her

 

[Glassguy]

Scratch my earlier response. I didnt read the post entirely when I responded to it.

Tell her that you want more and that being friends from here on out is going to be tough. Then completely stop responding to texts and dont answer her calls. Go find other available women.

I am assuming this girl is young, but I am guessing that she is over 18 and her parents wont let her out? Even if she did want to see you that in itself would be a pain in the @ss and not worth it.

Break it off in her (Emotionally in your situation) and go find plates to spin. Ignore her. She would have to start heavy chasing and giving that pvssy up quick to change my mind.