how to get ex back

[DannykDJ]

Please Cut contact with her while you are still on your feet.

Cutting all contact doesn't mean that you and her are finished forever, just for now.

Accept that right now the relationship is over. You may be able to try again in the future but only if you can become a much better man.

Take this time to improve yourself, work hard and become financially independent with a great body and plenty of friends and I guarantee you she will come crawling back. Then you can decide if you still want to date someone with less quality than yourself.

Seriously go back and read this thread again. Everyone is telling you to cut contact. I promise you we are not lying to you or misleading you. Everyone has gone through a situation like this and we all messed up by saying to ourselves that our situation was a special case so we wouldn't have to cut contact and we eventually got hurt.

A fool learns from his mistakes. A wise man learns from other peoples mistakes.

 

[WC2]

This thread is really making me sick bro.

It seems to me like you have such a far fetched idea of what female attraction and attention is.

Why are you still calling this girl? She calls you that's one thing, but you have no reason to be calling her. Everytime you call her she looks at her phone and says "oh big surprise he's calling me."

CUT OFF CONTACT

You think you are in a good situation right now, but what you are really at is the end of a relationship and you're about to let yourself fall off the edge of the cliff. Don't let her bring her pride with her.

Stop contacting, talk to other women, and enjoy life. This is not healthy to dedicate large sums of your day to a girl who is just playing with your head. If you don't understand now, she's just stringing you along until she finds something new and definite. It's only a matter of time until she's going to crush you and tell you that she doesn't want to talk anymore because she's slobbering over some new dude's c0k and loving it.

come on bro.. i've been here before and your best and only option is to stop worrying/talking to this chick and move on

 

[newbeginning]

you dont recommend even answering the phone if she calls? i dont want to push her away. Look i know you guys think she's just another ***** but i actually do care for this girl.

I wont call her. Should i return her calls if i miss them?

 

[justiceseeker]

Return her calls if you miss them? Are you kidding me?

You don't have to "push her away" she's already gone.

It seems to me either you're really dense, or you're trolling for attention.

 

[lordson]

i think you should move on

tell yourself: "That's the end of the <insert name> chapter of my life"

get on with life and start a new chapter with somebody else

 

[DannykDJ]

New beginning you need to let go of her. That doesn't mean pretend you are not hurt by it. The sooner you end contact the sooner it's gonna hit you that it's over, and thats gonna hurt like crazy. So bite the bullet and take it the best you can so you can get on with your life.

You don't have to ignore her or her calls although that would be ideal, but don't call her back if you miss one of them. She isn't going out of her way for you so you shouldn't do the same for her. If you do pick up when she calls keep the calls under a few minutes, don't let her unload her problems on you, if she tries to set up some kind of a meeting just tell her you're busy or already have plans, don't try to brag or make her jealous, be indifferent, and always end the conversation first after a few short minutes.

Each time you talk to her you are just fooling yourself theres hope and picking at the wound on your heart. If you do this long enough like I did it's gonna become a gigantic cut that will take you over a year to get over and you will have the scar for the rest of your life.

I went through this two months ago, and if I could go back in time I would have just been a man and walked away. I would have been in pain about it, but at least it would have been getting better by now instead of worse like it is. The pain of a failed relationship with someone you care about is bad, but trust me your mind will make it much worse if you let it.

If you won't do this for yourself, then do it for me because I am still in pain from my ex leaving me and I don't want you to feel the way I do now. Your situation is similar to mine.

If you have to turn your phone off for a few weeks or set it up so your phone blocks her number from calling so you won't even know if she calls.

The first step to healing is letting go. The thing that helps me the most is reminding myself "she doesn't care about me, so why care about her"

 

[Mavrick]

you dont recommend even answering the phone if she calls? i dont want to push her away. Look i know you guys think she's just another ***** but i actually do care for this girl.

I wont call her. Should i return her calls if i miss them?

Yes, ignore her. The only way to get her back is by letting her go. She has to realize that what she has done caused her to lose you. Why? Because you are the prize, not her. She's losing a great guy (one that's not easily found). Once she feels that feeling, she will come back to you.

Do not return her calls and do not call her. If you answer her calls, don't answer every one and keep them short, but I recommend not answering at all. She will find a way to get back in your good graces.

This is a vital key:
Fear is a powerful motivator. Anything motivated by fear is usually pointing in the wrong direction.

 

[dannyegg4575]

The strangest thing happened to me today on facebook. One of my exes back then emailed me after 12years. Isn't that bizarre? Think about it dude.

I don't know if this makes sense to you. But that is 12 years! Meaning, had I waited around 12 whole f>cken years for her to get back to me, look at how much time I f>cken wasted!!!

I stared at my facebook email for nearly 10 minutes NOT having any reaction or knowing what to say. THAT WAS HOW SAD IT WAS. LOL. Now that I think about it, it's kind funny.

 

[Sir-M]

you dont recommend even answering the phone if she calls? i dont want to push her away. Look i know you guys think she's just another ***** but i actually do care for this girl.

I wont call her. Should i return her calls if i miss them?

Would you like to take her to dinner and make up for not answering the phone in time???

comeon!!! you have your own agenda and life to live, she should know she cant just call anytime cause SHE dumped you and you have another woman

 

[DannykDJ]

You know what the saddest thing about these "get your ex back" threads is, No one ever follows through with the advice.

I did a search and looked through a bunch of old threads by different people on both sosuave and loveshack and they all have the same common problem of the gf or bf losing interest and wanting space.

Each person asks what to do to either get them back or get out while they still have control. The answer to every one is pages full of posts saying "no contact".

The guy takes the advice and starts it, But never follows through with it and gets emotionally castrated. He is then hurt even more than what he was originally and hits rock bottom emotionally. Even I am 100% guilty of this doing this if you read my first thread.

If this happens this much in forums I can't even imagine how much it happens to regular people. No contact hurts a lot but it's better than getting manipulated and strung along, but it seems to go against natural human nature for both men and women.

This is something I have been thinking about and may start a thread about it to get more opinions on it

 

[Sir-M]

You know what the saddest thing about these "get your ex back" threads is, No one ever follows through with the advice.

:yawn: im pretty tired of those as well, whats the point of asking for advice then doing the exact opposite?? and then still come back after making things worse and asking for more advice?? we are offering advice that has been tried, tested and works!!!

 

[dannyegg4575]

The funny thing is, having gone through it before, fell for the same trap twice. The human ego is a very fragile but yet strong enough to blind us from what goes against reality.

"Fooled me once, shame on you, fooled me twice, fooled me twice... you can't, can't be fooled again, you know?" George Bush

it's not an easy thing to do. All the bones in your body tells you to "save" the one that you love. Why do you think you want to be captain Save a Ho? I mean, isn't that how every movie ends? The guy goes and beg for the chick back and she said yes and all is good? Every movie. Even Hitch, a movie teaching guys to pick up chicks! Even The Game, it ended with Neil being an AFC all over again. I strongly believe that when these movies or books are written, marketing tells them to change the ending so that they don't get flamed for lawsuits by women and that they want to appeal to women as well.

So many battles lost because men refuse to be men, turning women into masculine nature instead. It's a sad fact but it's the 21st century.

 

[SmoothTalker]

Funny stuff, even when you've messed up almost everything else like I have, no contact drives them crazy.

Thought he question is, what do you do when they contact you?

 

[Guybrush]

He's not gonna pull it off

I think newbeginnin will not be able to do it despite the HUGE advice/support from the forum unanimously calling him to CUT OFF CONTACT.

This exactly is AFC mentality with the WRITE PROTECT BUTTON pushed.
He is going to experience the crashes and burns for himself and only years later, maybe, will he really realize his genuine mistake.

Never mind new beginning,

Good luck in your life.

I think you have been given more than enough attention.

 

[ATG]

the only way to get this girl back on your side is to let her see you with other girls. it would help if they're more beautiful than her. she knows you're desperate and alway's thinking about her. when she see's you with other females, she can't think this.

 

[Sir-M]

I think newbeginnin will not be able to do it despite the HUGE advice/support from the forum unanimously calling him to CUT OFF CONTACT.

This exactly is AFC mentality with the WRITE PROTECT BUTTON pushed.

Ya well AFC mentality tells you that she is the only girl and once you Cut contact then you too will suffer...

Newbiginnin, go get another girl to talk to or something else to occupy your time

 

[DannykDJ]

The thing to remember is you can't be to hard on people experiencing this.

You have to pick between a powerful emotion that "feels right" or advice that is "logically right".

In almost every case the emotion is just so much more powerful that it overwhelms the logic, and in your mind the emotion is obviously the right choice.

I lurked this website for about 1 1/2 years before I made an account just to make a thread similar to this one. I remember reading threads like this and thinking to myself "This guy is a dumb@ss loser and deserves to be hurt for not walking away when he had the chance".

Now I know it's not that easy and I have a lot of sympathy for guys going through this because in reality there are going to get hurt and there is no amount of advice can stop it. Giving advice to guys going through breakups is pointless because it only gives them hope for the relationship even though the outcome is always the same. Instead they need advice on how to improve themselves so they can move on after the damage has been done.

 

[newbeginning]

update:

its friday now and i haven't talked to her since wednesday night. She has made it clear that she wants see new people. So i told her, i will not be your friend while you are out meeting new people. Its either youre with me or you're not. I told her that i wont be around to see her getting hooked up with somebody else. I made it clear that she should not call me unless she wants something more than just friends. Told i gotta go somewhere. She called me back that night and i didnt pick up.

We have a get together for her friend's bday tomorrow which was planned a while back. After this i will not talk to her again. You guys are right, there is nothing i can do to change her mind. She would have to see me gone to really appreciate what we had together. This is sad but i have came to realization, thanks to all of you who contributed.

I've been listening to Will Downing's "i can't make you love me" and i am accepting it a whole lot better than before.

Thanks again.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Good for you. I repeat, new pvssy clears the head.

In regard to the original topic, I have a handful of exes that I could go back to, now that I think about it, pretty much every ex of mine would take me back - and they were the ones who dumped me and wanted to see other people. I was depressed until I started fvcking other girls. But after that I genuinely did not care about the ex any more. A few months go by, her relationships fizzle, and voila - she will want you back; it works like magic. The catch is that you won't want her back. This is not an uncommon story - you will go through the same process. How long you wallow in the depressed moping stage is up to you.

 

[newbeginning]

update:

After leaving her alone for two days she called and said that she had done some thinking and would like to give our relationship another try. Of course i agreed but i made sure that she heard every single detail of how i got it on with other women at clubs and bars. I even brought up some of the girls who she is jealous of.

Just when i accepted it and was about to give up hope, she turned around. Like i said, this break was mostly my fault and i am glad that she can look pass that. Thanks for all your advices. I hope we can pick up where we left off. Thanks again.