How to get ex back when she already think I've moved on?

[Fela Kuti]

Just a short question. How to get an ex back when she already thinks I've moved on and not interested in her anymore so she acts indifferent where deep inside she still wants me? Thanks.

 

[Chamber36]

call her and ask her on a date

 

[bigneil]

Sounds like an idealized version of reality.

 

[Fela Kuti]

Indifferent might not be the right word. The real situation is, my ex rarely contacts me first but everytime I contact her, we always have nice, fun conversations and she's pretty enthusiastic, ie. creating new topics when the convo's dying. But it's almost always me who initiates contact, that's all.

I don't know about asking her out at this point. I'm afraid she's not ready yet. Me too, actually. I'd like to take it slower. It's only 2 months since our breakup. 1 month of NC.

 

[Cheeks]

If she's not initiating contact, then she's the one who has moved on.

 

[DMEDFISIK]

Careful here. Girls live on attention and even if they want nothing to do with the attention giver. Who broke up with whom? If you were the dumpee, then don't initiate contact or ask for reconciliation. Let her be.

 

[Fela Kuti]

Careful here. Girls live on attention and even if they want nothing to do with the attention giver. Who broke up with whom? If you were the dumpee, then don't initiate contact or ask for reconciliation. Let her be.

I was the dumpee and she said she wanted to remain friends with me. I said that would take time and I'd rather we not talk for some time. So I NC'd her but I could tell she was sad about this judging by her updates on social medias. Then I reinitiated contact, thinking maybe there's a chance she might reconsider her decision. Also because I missed her. So here we are, 3 weeks later and we've been having great convos on text/IM every 2 days or so, with a bit of flirty remarks from both sides. I also notice good signs like she wouldn't sign off the messenger before I do, reviving dying convos, etc. One thing that I need to know is if she does this because she only craves for attention or actually because she still has feelings for me. Do you think it's ok if we have a talk or something? I mean, she's not a girl I just met or something. We have some history.

If she's not initiating contact, then she's the one who has moved on.

It's also possible that she thinks I've moved on after the NC and trying to save her pride by rarely contacting. And it's not like she NEVER initiates contact.

 

[DMEDFISIK]

I was the dumpee and she said she wanted to remain friends with me. I said that would take time and I'd rather we not talk for some time. So I NC'd her but I could tell she was sad about this judging by her updates on social medias. Then I reinitiated contact, thinking maybe there's a chance she might reconsider her decision. Also because I missed her. So here we are, 3 weeks later and we've been having great convos on text/IM every 2 days or so, with a bit of flirty remarks from both sides. I also notice good signs like she wouldn't sign off the messenger before I do, reviving dying convos, etc. One thing that I need to know is if she does this because she only craves for attention or actually because she still has feelings for me. Do you think it's ok if we have a talk or something? I mean, she's not a girl I just met or something. We have some history.



It's also possible that she thinks I've moved on after the NC and trying to protect her heart by not contacting.

DON'T have a talk with her. She broke up with you, so let her fix it.

Secondly, it's safer to bet she's doing this for attention than anything else. Stay on limited contact, and don't be too available either. If a woman wants you, you'll know without a doubt, especially considering your circumstances.

 

[Fela Kuti]

DON'T have a talk with her. She broke up with you, so let her fix it.

Secondly, it's safer to bet she's doing this for attention than anything else. Stay on limited contact, and don't be too available either. If a woman wants you, you'll know without a doubt, especially considering your circumstances.

The thing is, I don't see her as a girl who would initiate something like that. She has too much pride, I think. And considering that I had the last word when I told her I'd go NC to move on, isn't the ball in my court now?

 

[AlexDP]

I was the dumpee and she said she wanted to remain friends with me. I said that would take time and I'd rather we not talk for some time. So I NC'd her but I could tell she was sad about this judging by her updates on social medias. Then I reinitiated contact, thinking maybe there's a chance she might reconsider her decision. Also because I missed her. So here we are, 3 weeks later and we've been having great convos on text/IM every 2 days or so, with a bit of flirty remarks from both sides. I also notice good signs like she wouldn't sign off the messenger before I do, reviving dying convos, etc. One thing that I need to know is if she does this because she only craves for attention or actually because she still has feelings for me. Do you think it's ok if we have a talk or something? I mean, she's not a girl I just met or something. We have some history.

Pretty great that you can still be friends with your ex. Very mature.

Oh wait.

 

[DMEDFISIK]

The thing is, I don't see her as a girl who would initiate something like that. She has too much pride, I think. And considering that I had the last word when I told her I'd go NC to move on, isn't the ball in my court now?

Love != pride. Love and pride can't coexist in this situation. A woman with this much pride is dangerous, assuming she really wants you back. You shouldn't want to be with this kind of chick in the first place. Let her take care of her unresolved pride issues with another guy. I have an ex like this, and there's no way I would get back with her with this kind of pride issue.

 

[Fela Kuti]

Love != pride. Love and pride can't coexist in this situation. A woman with this much pride is dangerous, assuming she really wants you back. You shouldn't want to be with this kind of chick in the first place. Let her take care of her unresolved pride issues with another guy. I have an ex like this, and there's no way I would get back with her with this kind of pride issue.

Yeah, I'll try not contacting her for a while and see if she reciprocates.

Pretty great that you can still be friends with your ex. Very mature.

Oh wait.

Nah, it's not like I'm trying to be her friend or anything. I'm only doing this just because I sense she might be interested in getting back together.

 

[AlexDP]

Nah, it's not like I'm trying to be her friend or anything. I'm only doing this just because I sense she might be interested in getting back together.

You're now her friend. Don't you see this?

 

[Fela Kuti]

You're now her friend. Don't you see this?

yes, probably. in the loose sense of the word. friends don't flirt do they? but I realize this can't continue if I still want her back.