How to Get better At First Dates

[Georgepithyou]

So my last 4 dates, all ended wirh the girls ghosting or flaking on any second date plans.

I tried activity dates at the arcade, venue changes and even just a walk in the park.

All 4 dates ended with me making out at the end, everything seemed to be going well but 2 girls ghosted after.

And the other 2 just kept being busy when i asked for a second date.

How do i hav the ideal first date, if we make out at the end doesnt rhat mean the date went well. All 4 i french kissed and wirh one i even went to second base. Am i not supposed to kiss during a date like AMS suggests? These flakes and ghosts have really taken a hit at my ego.

For context met all 4 girls on swipe apps.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I had the same issues until recently. Actually made a thread about it. Since then I have fvcked 4 women and have 3 regular plates I am seeing.

It just seems to go in cycles sometimes. For me I realized I was pressing too hard. It's one thing to not be sexual at all but another to be overly sexual on a first date. I was going too far too fast and it was scaring women off. Likely cost myself a few easy lays if I just would have been more laid back.

Just keep plugging along and take notes of what is happening in date and post date. I always try and kiss at some point during the date if I am interested. In some cases the women might be dating multiple guys and you might just not be the main one.

Are you acting desperate postdate? How long before texting them post date?

 

[Harry Wilmington IDS]

I know the term "it's a number's game" gets thrown around a lot, but what that also means is sometimes the numbers will work in your favor, and sometimes they won't.

For example, I had a streak of luck where any woman I went out with, we'd eventually be able to make out, hook up, etc. Then, I hit a six month streak where I dated 7 or 8 women, none of whom I was able to go out with beyond a 3rd or 4th date or get any kind of make out action with. After that 6 month, I dated 2 women I was able to hook up with, made one of them my girlfriend for a few months, then dated/hooked up with someone else.

All that to say: in dating, you're bound to have some women not work out. Sometimes i'll be more spread out, and sometimes it'll come in clusters. The important thing to do is analyze what you're doing and make changes accordingly, but also be mindful that, even with all these techniques you'll learn, you're still not going to be able to take down every single woman you go on dates with, and sometimes it really IS them, not you.

 

[EyeBRollin]

It’s a numbers game. We all go through streaks.

 

[RickTheToad]

Simple. Don't concern yourself too much about it. Take them as they come. Practice.

 

[flowtheory]

More context post date is needed. I would think this is where the problem would be. 4/4 in a row is a bit odd and you are the common denominator. But also may not be the reason why this is happening.

They all were attracted enough to kiss you during the dates. So you’re doing something correct.

if you’re good enough looking, made them smile, perceivably gave them a good time, didn’t mess up texting after, weren't needy, etc.. it could honestly be 100 different guesses Of things which are out of your realm of control as to why it didn’t end up with a second date with these four. And in that case let it go and don’t take it personally.

Just keep doing what you should do even if they all got back to you.. keep Increasing your value

 

[backseatjuan]

I don't believe in take it easy, she wants sex, you want sex, after all it's a sht test, if she has sex on first date she's a fck buddy and plate material no more. Problem for you is what you do after first date. Wait a week before calling her. Then after you bang her, be it first date or 2nd date or 3rd, wait two weeks before the next date.

 

[sph21]

It may not be your fault. A Kiss is a biological compatibility test.

Read this: 6 Factors That Secretly Influence Who You Have Sex With

 

[Romanemp22]

You should always go for a kiss /make out on first date. That's how you test the waters and you can't come as overly sexual by just kissing. It may be that your behavior afterwards is putting them off, try analyse what you maybe did wrong. It could also mean that you were just out of luck with that girls and will have more success with the next one.

 

[GioWolf]

It may not be your fault. A Kiss is a biological compatibility test.

Read this: 6 Factors That Secretly Influence Who You Have Sex With

I found the part about birth control pills disrupting histocompatibility very interesting. I believe a lot of attraction is subconscious and I can see how in 2020 everyone’s hormones are out of wack leading to our modern day relationship disasters.

 

[nismo-4]

Sounds more like you fell out of first place. Or Chad came back from his business trip. Yeah, you weren't the guy she really wanted. Or you made sure she knows you won't be an orbiter/fan/platonic friend.

We all hate first dates that end up one-date wonders. Swipe apps do this to you.

So next time, go for sex after the first date. I hope you deleted all 4 numbers after this.

 

[Desdinova]

Pack the hell out of the first date. Meet her for coffee, take her somewhere fun, then take her "window shopping" in some store. After the first date, she will have essentially been on three dates. Once I started doing that, I always got a second date.

 

[SW15]

Pack the hell out of the first date. Meet her for coffee, take her somewhere fun, then take her "window shopping" in some store. After the first date, she will have essentially been on three dates. Once I started doing that, I always got a second date.

Roosh discussed multivenueing like that in "Bang" in 2007. Multivenueing is good.

 

[flowtheory]

Pack the hell out of the first date. Meet her for coffee, take her somewhere fun, then take her "window shopping" in some store. After the first date, she will have essentially been on three dates. Once I started doing that, I always got a second date.

And train her to believe you are always doing things in such succession so you set yourself up for disaster later on.

But I can agree it’s a good way to give her many perspectives of you and different feelings. As opposed to a singular association of the guy in the pub, or coffee shop

 

[Black Widow Void]

Sometimes it's them and sometimes it's us.

Flake/Ghost ratio's are always higher if it's an internet date (you didn't mention this, but I suspect that these were).

If these were internet dates, how does your profile compare to the 'real you?'
If you fudged on weight, height, age or basic appearance, this typically works against you. Oh sure, if you're paying for food and/or drinks, they'll stick around, and especially if drinks are involved, some making out can occur, but doubtfully a second date.

If not the above, check for patterns. Did you notice any shift in negative body language (which occurred with more than one gal)? If so, this could be sign worth noting and changing.

Also, are you doing anything post-date (texting, e-mailing or phoning) that's been a pattern (which might be off -putting)?

Maybe you just encountered a cluster of habitual flakes. It happens to all of us.

In any case, it's always a good idea to self-evaluate and see what we can do to improve our game.

 

[Georgepithyou]

It may not be your fault. A Kiss is a biological compatibility test.

Read this: 6 Factors That Secretly Influence Who You Have Sex With

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