How to get a girl with high interest to ditch her bf?

[Jariel]

You wrote ALL OF THAT as a test for strangers on the internet?

Holy hell, buddy. Hobbies.

S**t like that is why I have 950 posts over 8 years.

Yes, because a lot of guys come here looking for a dramatic change to their lives, because they're depressed, they've got no hope in life, sometimes even suicidal. Quality posters on this site helped me to turn my life around and that's why I've contributed so much to this forum over the years. You might think of this as a little bit of fun and these people as strangers, but to me and many others, this site is the proverbial light at the end of a very dark tunnel.

Some of the posters here are all about their own ego, just trying to be right all the time. Many, as indicated here, have serious issues with negativity and defeatism.

I'm not here to prove anyone wrong or start throwing insults, but I think some people underestimate just how important this site can be to some people.

It's been 3 months. Get back to us in a year and hopefully your case is more of the exception than the general rule. I'm a firm believer that if she did it to him, it's only a matter of time before she'll do it to you.

Last time I did this it lasted 5 years.

I believe any relationship has a tendency to fail when the couple get complacent. That's why it's important to keep the tension and keep the DJ mindset the whole time.

Of course, things could fail tomorrow, she could cheat on me or screw me over, but it's much better to take a risk and enjoy the experiences for what they are, than to play life safely all the time.

Something isn't right if you claim to be a DJ and need to ask for help. You should already know how to solve your own problems by now.

Exactly! Read my last reply and you'll understand.

I had no regrets and would do it again in a heartbeat. The very best girls are often already in relationships, because why wouldn't they be? They can choose any guy they want a lot of the time.

Patience is very much the correct answer, because it takes time to prove to her in your mind that you are the best choice. You can't do that over a few days or probably even weeks - especially if the girl in question is legitimately worth it.

I agree wholeheartedly mate. There are a lot of beautiful women out there, many of which are cool, but sometimes you meet one that just makes you feel a spark. A lot of guys will go to pieces and screw it all up, other guys will retreat in fear of the dreaded "oneitis", but when you've got confidence and your game down, I say go for it! Much better to have tried and failed than to look back with regret.

 

[Iceberg]

Yes, because a lot of guys come here looking for a dramatic change to their lives, because they're depressed, they've got no hope in life, sometimes even suicidal. Quality posters on this site helped me to turn my life around and that's why I've contributed so much to this forum over the years. You might think of this as a little bit of fun and these people as strangers, but to me and many others, this site is the proverbial light at the end of a very dark tunnel.

Some of the posters here are all about their own ego, just trying to be right all the time. Many, as indicated here, have serious issues with negativity and defeatism.

I'm not here to prove anyone wrong or start throwing insults, but I think some people underestimate just how important this site can be to some people.

Hey, I have nothing against the site. It's just that your fake story all led up to the moral: "Have patience".

Which of course is never wrong. One should always have patience. But as it pertains to landing one specific woman, 90% of these guys dating lives are the embodiment of "have patience."

If you're experienced in going out and getting girls, then sure. It's no big deal to keep one girl on the back burner. But for these inexperienced guys, there's very little chance that they could handle the delicate push and pull that it takes. They'll find one girl, obsess over her, and end up frustrated when it doesn't work out.

It's not negativity and defeatism. It's the fact that looking around the board, you see countless guys posting about one specific woman who may or may not commit to them. And the majority of time, the woman's flaky behavior / undecided-ness represents a lack of interest or willingness to commit. Your girl worked out? Great. Look around this board, as I have since 2002, and tell me how often a guy on here, in desperate need of confidence and lacking knowledge on dating, can make that happen. I see that they're sad, depressed, or suicidal...as you do....and I say, why jump into a complicated dating situation, when there are plenty of simpler ways to find a woman? Save the complex stuff for when you have the confidence to ride the ups and downs of it.

 

[Jariel]

Fair enough mate, I see where you're coming from on that point.

This post was orignally constructed much better, but then I discovered this forum now has a limit on posts and messed it up.

I just wanted to see what kind of advice was being given to typical newbie posts. I wasn't looking to attack anyone specific, but I've picked up a lot of urgency being preached in the seduction community and a "give up and move on" attitude. Whereas I believe this is where a lot of guys screw up because they feel they must get results within a time limit and don't get to exercise the "push/pull" theory to its full effect.

I also feel that a lot of guys settle for girls they're not that interested in, just because it's a lot less heartache.

No offence intended.

 

[jafyk]

This thread should be a reference to all those wondering why relationships don't work out etc. because it's ok to hijack other people's relationships because it's what you want. So, the next time some guy starts complaining about how women are the reason marriages or LTR don't work out realize that there's a Jariel in the background sabotaging it along with a network of people to equip him with the tools he needs to do so.

 

[synergy1]

I just wanted to see what kind of advice was being given to typical newbie posts. I wasn't looking to attack anyone specific, but I've picked up a lot of urgency being preached in the seduction community and a "give up and move on" attitude. Whereas I believe this is where a lot of guys screw up because they feel they must get results within a time limit and don't get to exercise the "push/pull" theory to its full effect.

I also feel that a lot of guys settle for girls they're not that interested in, just because it's a lot less heartache.

No offence intended.

Morality aside, the idea of being patient and diligent is a good one. Date other women, keep laying groundwork for a specific target, and strike when the going is good. While I personally would not attempt to make a girl break up w/ her boyfriend, I guess I have no issue being playful while I was dating others and having fun if/when the specimen left her relationship on her own terms. This obviously means not being the AFC guy who listens to problems, but someone who has been amping attraction for a period of time.

This is where I step onto my soap box. There is one fact, and that is there is always a better guy than you. If this chick was open to leaving her bf when she went to you, it is probable she will do the same when jariel 2.0 comes around. Maybe it won't happen, maybe it'll happen next month. My question to you is this; would it piss you off? The next question is why would you want to ruin some other person's day like that? I suspect most people rationalize this kind of thing by calling the other guy a loser, AFC, beta provider etc..but lets assume that the other guy is just a normal hard working decent individual.

There is a ton of talk about honor/morality here, but than there are threads like this which enable the kind of behavior that upsets us. What makes this worse is we almost exclusively blame women, while its clearly both parties at fault. Rather than contributing towards the problem, why not be a part of the solution and date single high quality girls?

I clearly disagree with you, but am asking these questions out of curiosity, not out of hate. People are going to do what they are going to do, and thinking I can project my morals onto someone else is dumb and not my intentions with this reply.

 

[Jariel]

I understand people will think of my actions as immoral or think I’m harsh for taking some guy’s girl, but things aren’t always so black and white.

Take my last relationship for example. She broke up with me at the beginning of the year and last I heard she’d met someone else. My heart hadn’t been in our relationship for over a year and it got to the point where I saw her once a week, sometimes only once a fortnight if I was busy with other things. I got complacent and just stuck it out because it was safe and convenient. She clearly had plans to move on, yet I was too lazy to look for anyone else so when the time came for us to break up, I was the one left alone, whereas she probably had someone lined up. I was gutted when she first ditched me and shocked she could do that to me. I was angry when I found out she was with someone else only a month later, but now that time has passed, we are both much happier with different people and I don't blame her for doing what she did.

Basically, not all relationships are happy or good for both parties, and if the girl I’m with now was happy where she was, she wouldn’t be with me now. In my defence, “push/pull” theory cannot be used to create attraction out of nothing; it only emphasises what’s already there.

Some say it shows her true character and she’ll do the same to me, but I believe it’s more down to being in an unfulfilling relationship. If I get complacent, then yes, she probably will cheat on me, but it’s up to me then to keep myself on form and keep control of the relationship. I failed to do that in my last relationship and I have to shoulder a lot of responsibility for that and learn from it.

I’m not a cruel person who gets kicks from stealing girlfriends or being mean, but some of my biggest mistakes in life have been the result of doing “the right thing”. Eg. Dating one girl at a time, only to find she’s seeing other guys. Refusing to take advantage of drunk girls, then seeing them getting off with other guys. Backing off from girls in relationships, then seeing her move onto some guy other than her bf months later. And possibly my biggest mistake…rejecting a HB10 underwear model because I was in a relationship, then discovering my HB6 gf had been seeing her ex behind my back.

As a man I think it's important to have integrity, yet a lot of the time there's more to these situations than meets the eye.

 

[Voice]

Jariel, your spot on about the advice given here. There are only a few people I would listen to when asking for advice on here. SS stresses positivity, yet most of the advice is negative and defeating. I loved reading the post where you confessed that you've been with this girl for 3 years.

I no longer ask for advice on this site.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

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