How to follow up - plate acting weird

[TheGambino]

I reffer to my last thread about the girl I slept with.

As you guys know I hooked up with a girl that I know from a weekly meeting.

Some background info:

She broke up with a guy from a 5 year relationship 7 months ago.
We went for drinks, fun, asked her to join me for drinks at my crib and she came along. At the date we kept it light, let her speak for 80% and didn't fvck up.
I kinda went for the kiss at my crib after a 45 minute episode of a serie without warming her up, holding hands or anything. She said ''its weird I dont feel so much''. Then she commented that she we were not fvcking. But I did the foreplay right and she got wet and we fvcked. I fvcked her brains out, made her squirt with my hands and we did a couple of positions, probably fvckd, made out for like 1.5 hours. Her legs were shaking, we kissed hard, and she was enjoying it big time but I'm sure I came off hard on her since I fvcked a bunch of girls and I like ''semi, hard sex''. Didn't overdo it but I fvcked her brains out. But I fvcked her so quick and hard at some point she screamed wtf.

I asked her during s3x. ''Suck me ok?''
She did it and then made this comment lmfao. ''You don't have any STD"s right?'' Me: ''No"

Anyway I'm sure she loved it. In between the kissing sessions before having sex she said something like ''Im not sure I think I saw/see you as a friend''. I ignored it and made her horney.

I made a comment during s3x. ''You saw 10% of me baby, next time when Im home alone it's going to be 100%''. She said ''Omg serious? okay''

I didn't come in her and she asked my why?? She wanted me to come in her.

After the s3x we had a cigarette and she said.

''I don't know if I could fall in love with you''
''We could be friends with benefits though lol''
I didn't make much of a comment, let her speak and then said ''I guess we could be friends too...''

I got a ''got home'' text.

Next day she texts.

''Hey everything is still so sensitive''.
Me: Thats nice haha.
and some small text about something else. (not much texting at all)

Next night I was drunk as f8ck in a club in a city where she lives I texted her but I forgot she was at a big event somewhere else. ''Hey Im at X club join me for drinks?''

She reads it at night and answered next morning. We had a quick chat about the weekend nothing much again.

Today I texted her (for the weekly meetings)

''Hey are you going tommorow?''

She answered.

''I'm not sure yet, I texted (one of the coaches at the meetings) what the class is about tommorow, she didn't answer yet''.

Me: Ok let me know, I am going.

*Silence since then.

Before our whole date for drinks she would react on texts way quicker then now. But I must say I take my time too, to text back.

My question boys.

She's educated, in very good shape and a fun company. I loved the s3x, too. So yeah, she's not much of a sl1t I wouldn't make a thread about that I didn't care about so much.

Do you guys have any overall thoughts about all of this, how to proceed tommorow? When she shows up for the meeting (we carpool) should I kiss her on her mouth or act a little bit aloof and see what she does? Or be all touchy and fun or a bit distant.

I know I should spin more plates but I didn't have the chance to meet up with more girls the last few weeks since work was rough. And yes I will spin plates so I won't get attached too much.

Ty again boys

 

[marmel75]

What I'm reading this is you saying "I have no options, so I don't want to screw this up".

Get more options because otherwise you are going to be putting way more importance on this chick than what she deserves and will screw it up...you are already heading down that path, from what I can see

 

[TheGambino]

I know but can you be more specific. I take any chance to ask a girl out that shows interest. I just don't go out in the weekends that much since I was focussing on work and the gym the last couple of months. How am I going down that path? She initiated once after our date and I texted her twice first so it's not that bad.

 

[El Payaso]

You already asked her out twice and she has either ignored or declined.

Start dating other women. If she checks up on you or asks you out, say you can't. A friend invited you to the movies and don't reply again till the next day.

 

[marmel75]

I know but can you be more specific. I take any chance to ask a girl out that shows interest. I just don't go out in the weekends that much since I was focussing on work and the gym the last couple of months. How am I going down that path? She initiated once after our date and I texted her twice first so it's not that bad.

Just from reading your post and seeing how you are analyzing every little detail. It's what someone does that has no options. If you had options you wouldn't fvcking care about this chick because you'd be going out with other women. The more you care,the more importance you place on her and the higher up on the pedestal she goes...all bad things for you and your mindset.

 

[Konada]

I know but can you be more specific. I take any chance to ask a girl out that shows interest. I just don't go out in the weekends that much since I was focussing on work and the gym the last couple of months. How am I going down that path? She initiated once after our date and I texted her twice first so it's not that bad.

My initial feeling is that she sent out a feeler text to determine whether it was just merely a pump and dump.

You're coming across as too impatient like a horndog in heat so there's that as well. You may not be needy but your texts are showing that.

I would have sent:

Her: Ooh everything's so sensitive.
Me: I know right Anyway I enjoyed last night, let's do it again sometime soon.

And leave it at that until 3-4 days later. If she intiates during that period you can ask her for a date since it's "her idea" that she wants to fvck you again

 

[PantyWhisperer]

LOL - I swear every SINGLE TIME a woman has said to me, "We're not going to have sex" at the front of a first time make out session, I have fvcked her like a beast. Every single time, and I'm 50 so there's been quite a few times. Why oh why do they say that garbage?

But it is true that if you are thinking about her that hard, then she has the upper hand. Women can smell that from a mile away. Plus she said several times that she can't see herself in a relationship with you. Women just don't say that kind of stuff unless there is some barrier. You can attempt to fvck your way through that barrier and probably have at least a 1 in 3 shot at success, but proceed with caution.

 

[TheGambino]

Major Update bro's.

First of all thanks for the replies, I know she's my only plate in the wheel right now so my goal is too approach way more girls and ask them out.

I just came back from carpooling with this broad.

On the way we just had fun chats but not really about ''us'' just fun and light.

On the road back we have a fun chat in the car again where we talk about restaurants and food.

I suggested to have dinner next week when she comes back from vacation at a cool restaurant. She answeres kinda delayed with not a 100% yes answer and says this.

Well yes sure, but you shouldn't expect too much from it... (there we go...)
Me: Ok well I don't expect much but what do you exactley mean?
Her: Well I really enjoyed thursday night with you(she means the sex because the dutch word she mentioned counts for enjoying sex) but I'm kinda seeing another guy too and I really didn't know if we were having a date last time or just meeting to discuss the weekly training sessions with everyone...
Me: hmm ok, silence.
Her: So yeah, I don't feel so good about dating 2 guys but I'm not sure about him yet, were just going out..... But I just don't like seeing 2 guys at the same time, it doesn't feel right.
Me: Well I don't know you so well too, I like to have fun at the beginning and just get to know a girl.
Me: Ofcourse I like to have drinks with you, your a fun girl, it's fun to hang out with you, I really enjoyed our date and everything otherwise I would never asked you out you know but I need some time too get to know a girl too.
Me: I told you about my ex, well after several months I found out we couldn't communicate so well so yeah I really need to know a girl and see if we have the same visions and goals in life.
Her: Well it's so hard sometimes too know how a man feels about you... It's so vague most of the time... They aren't clear.
Her: blablabla about some other sh1t
Me: Yeah (agree with her) well think it true and do whatever feels right for you.
Her: What do you mean? Think ''us'' true? About you and me or?
Me: Everything in general.
Her: Yeah...

*she agrees.



Awkward silence, change subject.

At the end on purpose I don't kiss her on her cheek or go for a make out session I just told her too take care of herself at vacation. She did look me in the eyes for a couple of moments to see if I was doing something but I didn't on purpose. I don't want to kiss her and reward her for (bad behavior).....

Well I really feel she was testing me the last couple of days about how attached I am, how I feel about everything, because I really think she enjoyed the sex super but she isn't sure about us in general. It could be a sh1t test to see if it was a pump or dump or she is really not sure or not interested or interested in FWB.

Guys don't tell me to spin plates, Im already going to do that.
I deleted her number, let her reach out first whenever, I will no contact until she reaches out. I know all that stuff. I am going to focus on other women but I would like to hear what you guys think about this kind of stuff and add everything you want. We are here to help eachother become DJs and hit me up if you want to ask ME something.

 

[stevo]

Oh my fcuking goodness.

First, why create a new thread when you could just update the old one?

Second, you did every single thing I told you not to and now you're confused why sheet didn't work out?

This is tiring man.
I still do not understand how people would ask for directions, get directions and still head back the way they're coming from.

All the efforts ppl put in your previous thread just went to sheet.

If you want to know what you did wrong, go reread your previous thread and decipher it yourself. Smfh how ppl end up losing good lay.

 

[TheGambino]

Because i texted twice i would f×ck up? Nahh i think she didnt expect s3x to happen and she is putting everything in places now.

 

[marmel75]

Because i texted twice i would f×ck up? Nahh i think she didnt expect s3x to happen and she is putting everything in places now.

No. Taking someone out to dinner is a boyfriend/girlfriend type thing, not an activity for a chick you are just fvcking. That was your mistake. You tried to frame things with her as you are interested in being her boyfriend when she already told you she was simply DTF.

This is the part where you have exactly what most guys want...a chick who only wants to fvck without all the other BS, and you ruin it by trying to make it a relationship.

Bro...if she is telling you she only wants to fvck, then you treat her as such. The play was to say "I'm free tomorrow night,why don't you stop by after work." She knows what that means. No explanation necessary.

So not only did you have a woman who is unsure of it from the get go, you just made her even MORE unsure by showing that you want it to be more than just fvck buddies, which she made it CLEAR that's all she saw this as.

Totally on you bro. Terrible play. Not saying she would have agreed to come over but I 100% could have told you based on what she said previously this would be the outcome from you trying to do boyfriend/girlfriend activities with her.