How to Find a Long-Term Relationship During the Hectic Life of Graduate School

[Jacer]

Meet people through your network atm or Go to a Strip club or just be upfront on the apps.

Sounds simple and effective. Yes, academics come first and that is exactly what I was and am doing. I used to be a nerd, and just finishing school isn't going to get a girl close (very rarely), and I'm going to make some positive changes.
In short, my reasons for seeking a relationship are:
1. to work on my ability to socialize with girls
2. to enrich my graduate school life more

 

[Jacer]

Bang randoms. Fun and easy. No commitment required. Focus on school.

Awesome, I love the way you talk, plain and simple. But I don't quite understand what "bang randoms" means, could you explain?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Sounds simple and effective. Yes, academics come first and that is exactly what I was and am doing. I used to be a nerd, and just finishing school isn't going to get a girl close (very rarely), and I'm going to make some positive changes.
In short, my reasons for seeking a relationship are:
1. to work on my ability to socialize with girls
2. to enrich my graduate school life more

You should be with a girl because you want to be with her. And she wants to be with you.

 

[The Duke]

Awesome, I love the way you talk, plain and simple. But I don't quite understand what "bang randoms" means, could you explain?

To "bang randoms" is another way of saying "try to have sex with whatever girls you cross path's that show an interest.

Focusing on a serious relationship takes a big investment of time, commitment, and resources. It doesn't sound like that would fit your situation.

I would get involved in fun activities that involve females. Sounds like you don't have much experience and simply interacting with out an agenda could benefit you. Surely some of the people you go to school with have parties, take trips, go out to different venues to socialize? Surely you can make friends with these folks.

 

[Jacer]

You should be with a girl because you want to be with her. And she wants to be with you.

Hahaha, I want to be with all the pretty, funny, slim girls. I will try to become better to attract these girls

 

[Jacer]

Focusing on a serious relationship takes a big investment of time, commitment, and resources. It doesn't sound like that would fit your situation. Simply interacting with out an agenda could benefit you.

EXACTLY ! Good advice!

 

[Divorced w 3]

The easy and factual thing to tell you is that you need to know where you’re going if anyone else is going to come along for the ride, so sit down and map your goals and your strategies out.

The way it may happen which is how my life has gone more than I would care to admit is I find a little fire cracker as I am sorting my life out and those plans remains in a pile on the side of the room for years to be metaphorical. Working on sorting it out now.

it will be a lot easier and happier for you and everybody else you want in your life if you have a strategy!

Good luck!

 

[Manure Spherian]

Get yourself more busy and stop thinking about it

He works twelve hours per day, six days per week.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Hello, friends. I am a 24 year old current graduate student.
I am looking for a long term relationship, but my experiments, thesis almost fill my life. I work 6 days a week, from 9am to 9pm, and I spend almost all my time in the lab or office. This life is monotonous and boring, and I have little energy or time to go out and socialize. When I finish my experiments and papers, I tend to rest rather than socialize because it is really tiring. In addition, I do pretty much the same thing every day, which leads to me not having any easy topics to talk to girls about (i.e. show business, TV shows, etc.).
I would like to make some changes but I feel very powerless and it's hard for me to juggle school, rest and socializing. Do you guys have any suggestions please?

Have you tried online dating considering you have little time to socialize?

 

[Divorced w 3]

He works twelve hours per day, six days per week.

And?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Stop looking for relationships is my advice. Relationships are earned not given freely or else they have little value.

Date around until you find a woman who has earned the right to be in a relationship with you.

You should not be actively seeking one out. This comes across as feminine behavior and desperate/needy to a woman.

It will also cause you to make bad decisions in terms of who you get in a relationship with.

 

[zekko]

Hello, friends. I am a 24 year old current graduate student.
I am looking for a long term relationship, but my experiments, thesis almost fill my life. I work 6 days a week, from 9am to 9pm, and I spend almost all my time in the lab or office. This life is monotonous and boring, and I have little energy or time to go out and socialize. When I finish my experiments and papers, I tend to rest rather than socialize because it is really tiring.

When I was in college I worked full time and went to school full time. I decided to give up socializing because I knew I didn't have the time and I had to sacrifice something, and I could only go without so much sleep. Yeah, it's hard, but a man has to do what is hard to accomplish his goals. It doesn't last forever, although it might seem that way to you now.

During the summers, I would socialize and date. I ended up meeting a girl, and continued seeing her my last year of school. I would go over to her house and sometimes study and often fall asleep. She was incredibly understanding. Anyway, you can't force an LTR. All you can do is date around until you find someone you like, who likes you back, and also wants an LTR.

 

[Manure Spherian]

And?

He was advised to keep busy. I’m not sure how much busier he can be working 72 hours per week.

 

[Jacer]

The easy and factual thing to tell you is that you need to know where you’re going if anyone else is going to come along for the ride, so sit down and map your goals and your strategies out.
it will be a lot easier and happier for you and everybody else you want in your life if you have a strategy!
Good luck!

Thank you for making such good suggestions.
What I'm currently doing: 1. joining a health club; 2. reading posts on sosuave.
I'm not sure, is this a strategy?

 

[Jacer]

Have you tried online dating considering you have little time to socialize?

Not having tried online dating, I focus more on campus dating or offline dating. I'm not sure how online dating is in the US, but in China I don't think it's for me at the moment. In my opinion, there are mainly the following types of people on online dating platforms in China: 1. prostitutes, 2. bar or restaurant staff (aiming at guiding you to spend money in specific bars or restaurants), 3. women looking for rich men to keep them, 4. female college students who only chat but don't go out on a date (afraid of being cheated by online dating)

 

[Jacer]

Stop looking for relationships is my advice. Relationships are earned not given freely or else they have little value.
Date around until you find a woman who has earned the right to be in a relationship with you.
You should not be actively seeking one out. This comes across as feminine behavior and desperate/needy to a woman.
It will also cause you to make bad decisions in terms of who you get in a relationship with.

The Golden Rule!
I went through a breakup 3 months ago because I appeared needy. It's a strange phenomenon that when I focus on living my life, I attract women; when I focus on my girlfriend, I lose her.

 

[Jacer]

A man has to do what is hard to accomplish his goals.
Anyway, you can't force an LTR. All you can do is date around until you find someone you like, who likes you back, and also wants an LTR.

Great！ It's perfect for my current situation.THANKS !