I'm 27, i've benefited from this website in years gone by for the purpose it seems to be intended for... answering the question of How to pick up women.
But truly, I think I am like most men (if not necessarily most men on this site) in that I really have no interest in picking up multiple women, in principle. I'm much more interested in finding one woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with. This is a practical matter as much as anything else: As I've gotten older and had friends come and go, I have fewer and fewer people around from times past that I really care about. Sure I make new friends and girlfriends wherever I go, but I would much rather have at least one partner who I can reminisce about my 20s with forever, rather than somebody I meet when I'm 35.
My problem is, I have now had steady relationships with two girls that started out on paper as potential "keepers" - great looks, passionate about things I care about in life, self sufficient, down to earth, etc - but I just can't seem to envision myself spending the rest of my life with these girls. After 9-12 months, I just end up feeling slightly bored when we hang out, slightly burdened, and only marginally sexually attracted. I find myself terrified by the thought of spending the rest of my life in this relatively bland scenario (not that I'm actually terribly bored or sexless, just that I would feel better off single and on the hunt again). This turns into a vicious cycle with me, I start to think about it and then I can't get it out of my head, which I think prevents me from falling in love in some ways. Now I've started to worry about this almost from the first date when I meet a new person. I never told either of my top two girlfriends that I loved them. Why? I can't separate the reasons in my head, partially because I am equally terrified of creating false expectations in 20-something girls' minds, partially because I really don't think I was in love with them.
But, I have reached a point where I really don't know what more I could want in a woman. If anything, perhaps these girls were lacking in some personality quality that I crave, but I can't even put my finger on it. Other than that, I couldn't have asked for more from either of them.
Do others among you have this problem? Am I ever really going to find somebody that I am still in love with after a year, or am I always going to be bored? I know no relationship is going to stay super romantic forever, but I feel like at least I shouldn't be bored? I wonder if my expectations are too high, or if I just haven't found the right person yet. Because for me, I would really prefer to get married in the next few years, rather than wait until I'm in my late thirties like many guys seem to prefer these days.
But truly, I think I am like most men (if not necessarily most men on this site) in that I really have no interest in picking up multiple women, in principle. I'm much more interested in finding one woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with. This is a practical matter as much as anything else: As I've gotten older and had friends come and go, I have fewer and fewer people around from times past that I really care about. Sure I make new friends and girlfriends wherever I go, but I would much rather have at least one partner who I can reminisce about my 20s with forever, rather than somebody I meet when I'm 35.
My problem is, I have now had steady relationships with two girls that started out on paper as potential "keepers" - great looks, passionate about things I care about in life, self sufficient, down to earth, etc - but I just can't seem to envision myself spending the rest of my life with these girls. After 9-12 months, I just end up feeling slightly bored when we hang out, slightly burdened, and only marginally sexually attracted. I find myself terrified by the thought of spending the rest of my life in this relatively bland scenario (not that I'm actually terribly bored or sexless, just that I would feel better off single and on the hunt again). This turns into a vicious cycle with me, I start to think about it and then I can't get it out of my head, which I think prevents me from falling in love in some ways. Now I've started to worry about this almost from the first date when I meet a new person. I never told either of my top two girlfriends that I loved them. Why? I can't separate the reasons in my head, partially because I am equally terrified of creating false expectations in 20-something girls' minds, partially because I really don't think I was in love with them.
But, I have reached a point where I really don't know what more I could want in a woman. If anything, perhaps these girls were lacking in some personality quality that I crave, but I can't even put my finger on it. Other than that, I couldn't have asked for more from either of them.
Do others among you have this problem? Am I ever really going to find somebody that I am still in love with after a year, or am I always going to be bored? I know no relationship is going to stay super romantic forever, but I feel like at least I shouldn't be bored? I wonder if my expectations are too high, or if I just haven't found the right person yet. Because for me, I would really prefer to get married in the next few years, rather than wait until I'm in my late thirties like many guys seem to prefer these days.
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