How to expand your social circle?

[Crissco]

Any tips on how to expand your social circle?

 

[FairShake]

One thing I've noticed about people with lots of friends and acquaintances is that they tend to be people who get other people's information and plan to get together. The one thing they have in common is that they aren't afraid of someone saying no. Frankly they don't seem to care. If they feel that someone might just be a good contact for a sunday afternoon drinking buddy they will get their contact info, make a plan, and see if it works out.

Most of us sit and wait for that to happen to us. Or we rely on our girlfriends for social get togethers (I know I am victim of the last one). Those that thrive make it happen.

Laugh alot, listen, and don't be afraid to look stupid.

 

[Crissco]

Thats exactly how I am bro. Im looking to expand it bigger though. To the point im being invited to mansions every weekend to party.

One thing I've noticed about people with lots of friends and acquaintances is that they tend to be people who get other people's information and plan to get together. The one thing they have in common is that they aren't afraid of someone saying no. Frankly they don't seem to care. If they feel that someone might just be a good contact for a sunday afternoon drinking buddy they will get their contact info, make a plan, and see if it works out.

Most of us sit and wait for that to happen to us. Or we rely on our girlfriends for social get togethers (I know I am victim of the last one). Those that thrive make it happen.

Laugh alot, listen, and don't be afraid to look stupid.

 

[Atom Smasher]

One thing I've noticed about people with lots of friends and acquaintances is that they tend to be people who get other people's information and plan to get together. The one thing they have in common is that they aren't afraid of someone saying no. Frankly they don't seem to care. If they feel that someone might just be a good contact for a sunday afternoon drinking buddy they will get their contact info, make a plan, and see if it works out.

Hmm.. Interesting, FairShake. I never really thought of it quite that way. Great observation.

 

[jglide123]

When it comes to meeting people (male or female) the easiest way is through a mutual friend. You could simply throw a party at your place and have all your friends/acquaintances bring someone new, or you could join an organization (a local fraternity, the YMCA, etc). I would say anything that allows you to meet people in a more natural way is a good way to expand your social circle. Personally, I believe having a strong social circle is the easiest way to meet women. Doing cold approach pick ups is the most difficult way to meet women; it's somewhat strange how most dating advice seems to focus on cold approaches, which is just one way to meet new women.

 

[Hakuna]

Activities / events / clubs.

books clubs, cultural events, competitive activities, etc.

 

[n00bPimp]

Well when they've formed the circle just tell them to take a few steps back. That way the circle gets bigger.

 

[Slick Rick-NZ]

Interesting. My mate is a natural at this. When he was first new to my town I approached him over common interests such as motocross. I then invited him into my social circle which I didn't know he was such a threat because he seemed so soft and quiet when he didn't know any one. I don't have any best mates or any thing so this was just a group I was hanging in. Turns out he bacame better mates with them than me by kissing there asses and disiing me and making fun if me. Now I am way cooler than him as I will explain but he was at the time more socially alert to say it. So basically he instigates like a girl after a girl. He suggessts things to do places to meet ect and everyone would more or so agree witrh in reason. I guess he became more of an alpha male in the group. He then used this group to meet other groups and tried to impress them by drivin them around in his flash car because his parents were rich ect and he met alot more people I know but don't associate with.
He is a show off and quite needy and always kisses his own ass constantly by saying oi that was mean as a did you see me do that you couldnt do that that was good as ECT all the fukn time hahah to make himself feel good and make you look worse. Just like a bully that is what alphas do I guess.
But he has the qualities that we are taught not to use with women needieness ect and it works because he goes after people and makes freinds with them and then tries to put himself above them.After a while everyone gets sick of him and he moves on as he uses people abit ect.
But it seems to work. Bascically I think that it works because when he asks someone to go hang out oneday or whatever they feel inclined to because they feel wanted and good that someone wants to be freindly towards them.
I would never do this try hard buisness because I want respect.
What do you guys think of this??
Slick..

 

[FairShake]

Activities / events / clubs.

books clubs, cultural events, competitive activities, etc.

Disagree STRONGLY with this. As an occasionally lonely guy who has done these types of things to find friends I am telling you that alot of the people who join these clubs looking for friends have to join these clubs looking for friends because they aren't very good at it. So it's your dorky ass with other dorky ass dudes. Kinda like a So Suave messageboard.

Most socially normal people in the world find friends at work, at bars, at school, and through other friends. If they feel the need to play a sport or participate in some activity they normally have friends or even casual acquaintances with whom they can participate.

I've known very few people who made new friends in book clubs or an intramural soccer league.

 

[jglide123]

Disagree STRONGLY with this. As an occasionally lonely guy who has done these types of things to find friends I am telling you that alot of the people who join these clubs looking for friends have to join these clubs looking for friends because they aren't very good at it. So it's your dorky ass with other dorky ass dudes. Kinda like a So Suave messageboard.

Most socially normal people in the world find friends at work, at bars, at school, and through other friends. If they feel the need to play a sport or participate in some activity they normally have friends or even casual acquaintances with whom they can participate.

I've known very few people who made new friends in book clubs or an intramural soccer league.

You can meet people ANYWHERE. All you have to do is participate in different activities and/or events that are of interest to you. Not all environments are created equal, of course. If you are looking for good friends, for example, you probably wont find them in a night club (though it isn't impossible).

 

[PapiChulo]

@Slick. I know a guy like that and it seems to work for him. When he approached me I was kinda skeptical a bit about this and still am. I guess it does make people feel better about themselves, not everyone though, depending on self-esteem in my opinion. I think there is something to be learnt from that, not necessarily saying that one should kiss ass or use people.

 

[f283000]

Disagree STRONGLY with this. As an occasionally lonely guy who has done these types of things to find friends I am telling you that alot of the people who join these clubs looking for friends have to join these clubs looking for friends because they aren't very good at it. So it's your dorky ass with other dorky ass dudes. Kinda like a So Suave messageboard.

Most socially normal people in the world find friends at work, at bars, at school, and through other friends. If they feel the need to play a sport or participate in some activity they normally have friends or even casual acquaintances with whom they can participate.

I've known very few people who made new friends in book clubs or an intramural soccer league.

Interesting take on commonly used advice. The whole "go join a club/organization" advice is the most commonly used advice out there when it comes to the question of expanding your social circle.

I do have to disagree with you on sosuave and pua forums. I have met people through pua forums and they have become some of my closest friends. I guess it's the bonding and connection of having the same interest (getting good with women) that helped me develop good relationships with them.

I have met friends through

work: an obvious one. You are bound to make friends with people you see almost everyday.

home poker games (not card clubs/casinos): Met a lot of fun people through poker games in my area. I guess it's the same principle as work. Poker games are weekly sometimes more than once a week so you becoming a regular you are bound to make friends as opposed to clubs that meet maybe once or twice a month.

PUA forums: I guess being strongly into the same interest (getting women) helped me make some very good friends through PUA forums.

If you're going to join a club or organization in order to expand your social circle it has to be something that meets on a regular basis rather than once a month or so. People warm up to you the more they see you. Once they see how great a person you are then you will be invited to activities outside the club. It's the same thing that happens at work. You talk to someone everyday for weeks or months at work then you end up getting invited for drinks of food outside work then real friendship can begin not just a work mate relationship.

I'm thinking of joining toast masters. Not to make friends but to improve my speaking skills and confidence. The people here are usually older so I doubt i'm going to be making beer buddies. Anyone got any experience with toast masters?

 

[FairShake]

You can meet people ANYWHERE. All you have to do is participate in different activities and/or events that are of interest to you. Not all environments are created equal, of course. If you are looking for good friends, for example, you probably wont find them in a night club (though it isn't impossible).

I actually wanted an addendum to my post.

Work, bar, school, friends, and lifestyle choices but rarely organized ones.

I have met friends in clubs involved in roots and indie music, I've met friends in the gym, I've met friends playing basketball. Things that just clicked without trying too hard and with people that weren't trying too hard. Mainly because I went to enjoy or play music, stay healthy, and have fun. Not too make friends. Most of the people were there for the same reason. Those are organic friendships and they last longer.

I do have to disagree with you on sosuave and pua forums.

]

I was kind of teasing there. I imagine that PUA forums aren't full of the most socially savvy people in the world BUT that doesn't mean friends aren't available. Hell, I'm not socially savvy myself so I'd definitely fit in. I will say that a group dedicated to going out will definitely build your social circle with which to go out. I doubt you'd easily dial into the happening circles partying in mansions though which is what this guy is looking for.

 

[Slick Rick-NZ]

@Slick. I know a guy like that and it seems to work for him. When he approached me I was kinda skeptical a bit about this and still am. I guess it does make people feel better about themselves, not everyone though, depending on self-esteem in my opinion. I think there is something to be learnt from that, not necessarily saying that one should kiss ass or use people.

Good to here. Yeah I certainly find it lame and cheap. But it works huh?
I guess in some form if you came in to alpha and cool in first contact with a group, the group would feel treatended and discard you? Therefore you have to have use to them and be accepted and then weasal your way up.
Got any other ideas haha??
Slick..

 

[crazyboy]

Good to here. Yeah I certainly find it lame and cheap. But it works huh?
I guess in some form if you came in to alpha and cool in first contact with a group, the group would feel treatended and discard you? Therefore you have to have use to them and be accepted and then weasal your way up.
Got any other ideas haha??
Slick..

I wouldn't say he alpha is just more of a go getter so to speak. Well also depend on you as a person. I'm personally always the head of the pack when time for social events. Most of time i plan the get together. If he was truly top dog he wouldn't need to put people down to elevate his status. A good way to handle a dude like this is to call him out publically if he dissing you. But be prepare for some blacklash and don't back down. Because i guarntee he going try to fight or intimidate you. This is when you become the head of the group because you are now attacking the main guy. The other dudes are just sheep and follower whoever leading. You got to be more domininat charmastic guy. Do this little display only in front of the guys. This type of stuff don't appeal to women but once you are the head dog so to speak. Them women should follow accordingly of course assuming you friends have social standing.

 

[TheMale]

I'm thinking of joining toast masters. Not to make friends but to improve my speaking skills and confidence. The people here are usually older so I doubt i'm going to be making beer buddies. Anyone got any experience with toast masters?

i actually studying NLP for my professional life
and one of the subject that we learn there is about how to speak with people or with an audience and the toast master ...
so if you want some advice PM me