How to end it?

[Mikey C]

Just writing this thread to get some confirmation of what I'm going to do because I know things will get worse.

Long story short.

I've been with a woman since March, she's two years older and divorced with a 7 year old girl. She lives 45 minutes away and we alternate weekends. Mine and hers. The sex is very good and varied. But she gets what I would describe as abrasive when she's tired...Happens a lot as she doesn't regularly sleep well and hungry...which makes me slightly on edge in restaurants. She's also told me she loves me....I didn't respond to that.

An example was last weekend when she had the little girl with her, I've never had kids and there is extra strain when the child's present. I took them to an open air cinema near my place. The flick started at ten and she started saying we should be there early so we can eat before the film etc. We get there early but the kid wants to go on a ride. I'm starving. Have to wait. Then the film starts and the kid's bored....back to rides etc and we get back to mine at 12.30...next day we go for lunch and I eat a couple of chips/french fries from the child's plate...The mother says "DON'T eat all her chips." I said wait a minute...don't speak to me like that..She says..."How should I say it then? as if that was acceptable. There have been other similar examples of this type of thing and the polar opposite...youre so sweet considerate etc.

. Next day I got texts saying "sorry everything was so ****
etc."

Was at hers last night...she didn't sleep and was in a poor mood also....she said what are you doing next weekend and I said just chill and watch TV...she says "just to clarify, that means on your own ?" and I say yes. Parted on that very coldly. Was looking for opportunity to end but the time wasn't great.

How does the forum reckon I should end it and more
importantly phrase it. Arrange a meet up?

 

[altec]

Just be up front with her and tell her you don't feel like it is working...

You don't really need to go into huge details. Just tell her that in the long term you feel like your styles aren't compatible and you don't feel that it is fair to drag things out. Ideally, I think you should do it in person vs. letting things "fade" as that is how I would want a girl to break up with me but you need to be prepared that she might cry, etc. In the long run you are doing her a favour to break it off now so she can meet a guy that would put up with her crap

 

[Poon King]

There are no rules in love and war.

You as a man make your own rules. Bottom line is.. you will be an as*hole no matter how you end it. Get comfortable with being an as*hole if you expect to be successful with lots of women.

Woman don't handle rejection well from my experience. I stopped caring a long time ago and I just end it how ever I feel like ending it. Sometimes face to face, sometimes ghost.

It doesn't matter nearly as much as you think it does. The easiest way is to say you are getting back with your Ex. Then go ghost.

Just remember: You don't owe her anything.

 

[prison/con.net]

most people "end it" with a couple of plastic bags over their head, tied around the neck and a big shot of dope. Ingesting pills makes you vomit sometimes, creating a nasty mess wherein you inhaled that stuff and die of it. So the injection is the way to go.

 

[Lexington]

If she really meant a lot to you, meet her in person, cut to the chase quickly and leave. If she didn't mean a whole lot, just do it over the phone and save yourself the hour and half round trip plus the tears and anger that will inevitably follow.

Like others have said, you don't have to be specific. Just tell her that while it's been fun, you don't see this working out in the long run.

If I were you I'd avoid single moms. I know you're 39, but if you work on yourself and have game, there's no reason you can't get with women in their later 20s and early 30s who don't have all that extra baggage.

 

[YawataNoKami]

Tell her and walk away. Ohh .........do it in a public space.And stop dating single mothers. Nothing good came from that.

 

[hithard]

How do you break up with someone?
In the most hilarious manner possible. Then post the story here as your original post was low on the lolz (apart from the obvious).
I mean you could be all vanilla and just tell her "this isn't working for me" and then cop an earful and get chewed out.
But why not lead in with "So I was thinking threesome with you and one of your girlfriends this Saturday, you wanna arrange that for me". Go on break the mold.

If you are not interested in her as a plate, or ltr then you are doing her a favor by not wasting her time and dumping her ass.

 

[MAYALL]

How does the forum reckon I should end it and more
importantly phrase it. Arrange a meet up?

Why should you drive 45 minutes just to dump her? Send her a text telling her you decided to end the relationship. Nothing more needs to be done.

 

[Lozboss]

I would call her. Everyone deserves a text.

Simple say:

"it isn't working, you don't make me happy and you obviously have a very low level of respect for me. I don't want to be in a relationship like that.

I wish you the best, please don't contact me."

 

[RangerMIke]

In my experience it's best to do it in person. Just be honest what ever reason. If you are not compatible, tell her. Give her a chance to vent, but stick to your statement. Don't give her any hope that things can "work out". This makes the break clean and minimizes fall out. Poon King is right you will be the jerk no matter what you do but. But the fact is that if you are ready to break things off she is likely feeling the same way.

 

[Mikey C]

Thanks for all the advice.

Have just done it.

I said don't think it's working, compatible etc.

She said can we talk about it etc and I stood firm.

She asked why don't you think we're compatible and I mentioned her bossy tone and attitude.

She then says...I don't think you ever liked me or respected me anyway...I said this was untrue. Can't believe she said that.

Anyway parted on take care of yourself and she says likewise and that she "really meant it"

 

[piranha45]

She then says...I don't think you ever liked me or respected me anyway...I said this was untrue. Can't believe she said that.

Vindictive and sht-testing; she wanted to yank some emotion out of you. If successful it depreciates your value in front of her, and since its a break-up it also makes her feel better that she can still pull your feels.