how to deal with this

[strey]

ok, ill make this short, started dating this chick in start of summer, went pretty fast, got very close, felt great, i was more into her at first, but now, the situation is reversed, we are exact opposites, she is a great chick, i am over my town and plan to travel around the world after new years, but she is not leaving. we spend all our time together, and we tell each other we love one another, she wants marriage and kids eventually, but i don't want either, but she says she sees that with me in a couple of years. i know i will eventually **** her over, so how do i not look like a ****head? she is pretty much the most balanced chick i have ever dated- i mean she isn't a crazy psycho *****

p.s.- she has wanted to break up with me, but she wont

p.s.s.- im ****ing confused

 

[Mr. Me]

i was more into her at first, but now, the situation is reversed, we are exact opposites, she is a great chick, I am over my town and plan to travel around the world after new years, but she is not leaving.

She may be more into you then you are her, which isn't a bad thing, but she's also more into her town then into you apparently.

So either she gets more into you by the time you start making travel plans in a couple of years, or you break up with her. Nothing to be confused about.

 

[strey]

She may be more into you then you are her, which isn't a bad thing, but she's also more into her town then into you apparently.

So either she gets more into you by the time you start making travel plans in a couple of years, or you break up with her. Nothing to be confused about.

yeah i know, but i would like to be with her up until i leave, but i know that is horribly selfish, and that is what makes us opposites, she is completely selfless

 

[mtbbkr111]

If you want to breakup with her, do it... It only gets harder over time. No matter what you will look like a ****head.. You let her control the tempo of the relationship, told her you loved her, and now you are going back on your word... Why won't she break up with you? Why would you be with a girl that said she wanted to break up with you..

If she wants kids/family and you want to travel, your values/priorities are not aligned (at least not at this point in your life)... The decision is yours..

 

[Colossus]

Always look at the big picture. Is she someone that YOU want marry or be with for the forseeable future? Doesnt sound like it. If she is not, then you are doing her a disservice by stringing her along.

We've all been there, and most of us have been on the unfortunate end of the string-along equation as well. I'm not saying you have to make a clean snap, but you might want to start moving things in that direction.

 

[sodbuster]

Spending time with her is wasting time for both of you. Free yourselves up to look for what you both really want. It's not working unless 1 of you changes their minds. Use the 3 or 4 years to look for your traveling buddy

 

[Mr. Me]

i would like to be with her up until I leave, but I know that is horribly selfish, and that is what makes us opposites, she is completely selfless

You're not leaving for yet another couple of years, so you don't know if you're gonna still feel that way 24 months from now or if she's gonna feel like she wants to travel with you by then or what. Same goes with wanting to settle down with you or anything else for that matter. Keep your options open.

So chart your own course in the interim, not taking her schedule into consideration, and see what happens.

But don't go around thinking that she's completely selfless. At this point, she wants to stay in town, she wants marriage and she wants kids. How is any of that being selfless? It's all about what she wants.