How to deal with Self Esteem when you get rejected?

[Raven80]

Hi guys,

I'm hoping you could give me some helpful advice because I am currently struggling with me self esteem. First off, a bit about my self.

I'm a tall guy, about six foot, good body after working out for some time. average face, receding hair (which has caused me so much grief. I keep it short now, because I don't look good bald).

Anyhow, I have gotten rejected so many times, but at the same time I have been with some cute girls. The problem is that most of the girls which reject me are the ones which I'm really attracted to, and the ones which I do go out with, there is usually no deep attraction.

Every time I get rejected from a girl I like, I start to blame myself for not being good looking enough and this ends up making me not wanting to try for a while, and when I do again, it is the same thing, like some vicious cycle. One of the hardest thing is getting past the fact that all the girls which I do like have rejected me, so you start to believe that you're no good and that it will be the same thing over and over.

It is like a footballer who has lost his form and hasn't scored in so long, he starts believing that he is no longer a good striker and it's so difficult to get past that mental block. I really really need advice with how to cope with rejection, I'm tired of blaming myself and not thinking that I'm good enough.

I would really appreciate any advice or personal experience with this.

 

[kingsam]

Hi guys,

hi raven...

I'm hoping you could give me some helpful advice because I am currently struggling with me self esteem. First off, a bit about my self.

I'm a tall guy, about six foot, good body after working out for some time some slothes make a good body un-noticable. average face, receding hair (which has caused me so much grief. I keep it short now, because I don't look good bald).

you are like most guys not bad, not amazing,
confidence?
do you wear sharp clothes?
attitude?

Anyhow, I have gotten rejected so many times, but at the same time I have been with some cute girls. The problem is that most of the girls which reject me are the ones which I'm really attracted to, and the ones which I do go out with, there is usually no deep attraction.

i interpret this as you get with "average-ish" girls not the "hotties" you are REALLY attracted to..
possible b'coz you dont have enough "value" yet? and are still learning?

Also they are ONLY hot chicks, are you projecting some kind of desperate vibe when you talk to the hot ones? (easily done without realising it) and with the average chicks you dont care as much so you are more indifferent and so appear more confident...

Every time I get rejected from a girl I like, I start to blame myself for not being good looking enough and this ends up making me not wanting to try for a while, and when I do again, it is the same thing, like some vicious cycle.

they are not rejecting you personally, they are rejecting your approach at that time....
* provided the rest of you is "OK"... (and your not wierd, odd, needy etc....)

It is like a footballer who has lost his form and hasn't scored in so long, he starts believing that he is no longer a good striker and it's so difficult to get past that mental block. I really really need advice with how to cope with rejection, I'm tired of blaming myself and not thinking that I'm good enough.

be indifferernt.....
be less hard on your self - dont take it personally
relect on each set you open and think what you did wrong could have done better...

Game is ment to be fun, enjoy it, enjoy the ride...

 

[r0cky]

Dont let this aspect of your life control who you are.
It doesn't matter that girls reject you, what's most important is that you're rejecting yourself. And consequently, this makes others reject you also. You think that because girls have rejected you that you're not a worthy individual, that you are below others. I know exactly what you're going through, because i've been there. If you're mature enough you'll realize that letting other's opinions influence your life will never let you be the one in control of your selfesteem, because THEY are in control of you.

In order to gain selfesteem, you must be the one in control, and how is this done? By having discipline. Do you have any bad habits? things that you know you shouldn't be doing but you do them because they feel good in the short term, yet bring you unhappiness in the long term? You dont have to tell them to us, but every person with low selfesteem has them.
The first step to being disciplined is to get rid of your bad habits, because while you can't control other people's opinion, you can attempt to control your bad habits. This is one way to start getting a grip on your life. Once you have built a discipline life, you will feel stronger to brush off rejection.

 

[Mistic]

The problem is that most of the girls which reject me are the ones which I'm really attracted to . . .

all the girls which I do like have rejected me. . .

There is the problem right there. You like the ones that reject you, and the ones YOU like reject you. It's just the nature of the bull$hit game. It's really quite annoying, that they way to get most girls attracted to you is by being a prick and kinda not liking them that much. As soon as you show too much interest they lose. This of course leads to us just not really liking or respecting most women.

As far as handling the rejection, just think "Any b!tch that isn't interested in me isn't worth my time anyway. . . next."

 

[Falcon25]

The only way to get over rejection, is rejection. You have to get rejected so many times that you become an armor plated mother fuvker. You just don't care. You say fuvk you and your mother to the world and keep asking. This is just the beginning. Put your seatbelt on.