How to deal with competition the correct way

[Fruitbat]

Often I have been in this situation before and never really nailed it.

Presume others have had this.

You're with a fairly new girl who you may have dated once or twice, or someone you have met at a party.

There are a few single men in the group who are also sniffing around.


Often, I have been the guy with iniative to talk to her, but other guys I note will move in and try and take her off you, by cutting in to your conversation or trying to find a chink on your armour to exploit or impress her.

Even with a girl I brought to the party I find your faker "friends" try this BS. Considering some of these guys are pretty smooth, it's a worry as you're not that close and she could potentially jump ship. I know people shouldn't but they do.

Obviously, I hate this behaviour. My default reaction is to want to bash this ****er into the ground or start on him. We all know what's going on.

On the rare occasions I have done this the girl thought I was a psycho so I have stopped doing so!

Even so, if I start verbally responding into a contest of sorts, I feel like I have been provoked, and the guy is succeeding in affecting my frame.

If I usher the girl away, I feel like I am avoiding a confrontation.

If I just go passive (I've done this too) and think - well, I can't be bothered, I just have to walk off and leave her with him. This again seems like I have been faced off and run away, like a young lion chickening out from the pack leader.

Do I just play nice and tackle the dude alone? Quiet word in the ear when she is not there?

How on earth do you deal with aggressive "interceptors"? Without being a possessive on one hand and a wimp on the other?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Often I have been in this situation before and never really nailed it.

Presume others have had this.

You're with a fairly new girl who you may have dated once or twice, or someone you have met at a party.

There are a few single men in the group who are also sniffing around.


Often, I have been the guy with iniative to talk to her, but other guys I note will move in and try and take her off you, by cutting in to your conversation or trying to find a chink on your armour to exploit or impress her.

Even with a girl I brought to the party I find your faker "friends" try this BS. Considering some of these guys are pretty smooth, it's a worry as you're not that close and she could potentially jump ship. I know people shouldn't but they do.

Obviously, I hate this behaviour. My default reaction is to want to bash this ****er into the ground or start on him. We all know what's going on.

On the rare occasions I have done this the girl thought I was a psycho so I have stopped doing so!

Even so, if I start verbally responding into a contest of sorts, I feel like I have been provoked, and the guy is succeeding in affecting my frame.

If I usher the girl away, I feel like I am avoiding a confrontation.

If I just go passive (I've done this too) and think - well, I can't be bothered, I just have to walk off and leave her with him. This again seems like I have been faced off and run away, like a young lion chickening out from the pack leader.

Do I just play nice and tackle the dude alone? Quiet word in the ear when she is not there?

How on earth do you deal with aggressive "interceptors"? Without being a possessive on one hand and a wimp on the other?

This needs to be discussed, because it is a typical situation that can occur. It can even occur in a house party setting if she isn't totally "with" you.

Dude and some women work against the man they are with, so she will let you look insecure for pointing out the problem or reacting.

I'm not sure the answers, but I know it's not respond with anger. You can't be angry, you need to be more confident and powerful.

 

[Fruitbat]

Yes but you almost have a binary choice - concede or fight?

Ideal solution I guess is to find another girl but life is not generally producing of legions of single women waiting to be hit on.

I also wonder if I do this too. It seems people do this challenging BS on auto pilot. Even some of my closest friends, who are in LTRs start puffing their chest when new women are about.

Perhaps I have the wrong friends as I don't consciously try to do this. I think it's the actions of a rat.

One odd observation I have is that working class men tend to have more of a code - cracking into another dudes girl, no matter how weakly linked, is frowned on. The middle class metropolitan friends j have seem to have less morals and more of a dog eat dog attitude which is surprising.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yes but you almost have a binary choice - concede or fight?

Ideal solution I guess is to find another girl but life is not generally producing of legions of single women waiting to be hit on.

I also wonder if I do this too. It seems people do this challenging BS on auto pilot. Even some of my closest friends, who are in LTRs start puffing their chest when new women are about.

Perhaps I have the wrong friends as I don't consciously try to do this. I think it's the actions of a rat.

One odd observation I have is that working class men tend to have more of a code - cracking into another dudes girl, no matter how weakly linked, is frowned on. The middle class metropolitan friends j have seem to have less morals and more of a dog eat dog attitude which is surprising.

They probably are on auto-pilot. You need some way to respond which is also auto-pilot that doesn't make you look insecure or like an ass. A whitty response...

I was lucky that most of the babes I went in there with were WITH me. So there was nothing for ME to do, because she woudlnt' allow them to escalate.

 

[ubercat]

This is a little off topic but I think it's the wrong approach. keep the first few dates just you and her until you're sleeping with her on the regular. if she's a half way decent chick then she should be invested and should shut down the other guys if she doesn't she's a ho and they've done you a favour. it's not like she will stop whoring when she's with that guy

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This is a little off topic but I think it's the wrong approach. keep the first few dates just you and her until you're sleeping with her on the regular. if she's a half way decent chick then she should be invested and should shut down the other guys if she doesn't she's a ho and they've done you a favour. it's not like she will stop whoring when she's with that guy

You nailed it. Hoez don't stop being hoez. Is there a way to successfully deal with a h0e so that she behaves a little better?

 

[purple haze]

This is a positive situation when other men do this around your girl. It is a perfect time to test her loyalty. If she fails the loyalty test, no problem, it only took you 1 or 2 dates to find out how worthless she is.

You win/win either way.

The girl will know she is being tested by a man who plays the game better than she does.

 

[ubercat]

Wasted time. A ho s not ltr worthy so once she's red flagged herself y would u bring her to socials

 

[ubercat]

Now picking up where there are a lot of **** blockers is a different scenario. I just say don't bother. find Target rich environments avoid sausage fests. Or approach her one on one if possible.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Agree that it can be a test of her loyalty however in order for her to be loyal it takes the two of you to be close to each other, you're not "loyal" to someone you met once.

So this test works only in certain condition, given enough time and involvment togheter.

Regarding the question, going ape is not the answer unless you're in a crowded alchool filled club and you're a mma fighter and even there its risky for many reasons.

Now going ape in a social environment is not even considered, what I found useful given that this stuff often happens and those guys are often more attractive and of higher status is simply acknowledge that fact and give them space by complimenting them, inviting them to lecture you untill they turn themselves in entarteinment monkeys.

The more questions you ask the higher the chance they will screw up and make themselves ridicolous.

Example:

Im talking with a girl, tall squared jaw well connected guy comes in a talk to the girl closing me with his shoulders, I gently open and get back in my position then introduce him to the girl as one of the top guys there, I ask him whats his secret to be so popular and most of the time he will screwup already either with a c0cky statement or with some lame joke.

Then I ask him to elaborate on his answer in which he will be doubtful so will take some time to answer and again look weird giving explanations right after, once I see some weakness in there and notice girls could see it too I go with the strike "you dont sound so convincing, maybe you should practive more your lines" or "do those lines work with the girls usually?".

They either feel akward and leave right after or go ape and start behave aggressive toward me, in that case I mock them openly and laught till the girl drags me away and laught, I basically shown self control, witness and courage after challenging a man with better stats.

Of course its a risky game and need to have a feel for that but I see no other options.

Unless you're al pacino in the godfather and anyone knows you, there will always be some competitor.

 

[Fruitbat]

I find it hard to play this game without getting angry. Sometimes these people are fairly well known and it crossss all boundaries.

One guy I know I have helped immensely, I've even paid for his nights out as he has no money. That's the kind of guy I am....still, he is more successfull with women on account of being more attractive. I can't talk to a girl without him muscling in. It's almost like he views it as his right and the annoying thing is, I don't blame the girls in a way as on first impressions he has more in his locker. I have a good career and far more competent in life in general, but he has the gift so to speak.

It really ****s me off to the extent that I avoid going out if he's there. He could be fvcking 3 women but he will always try to do this. It's possibly because he's quite jealous of my money and success. That's something I have worked hard against some hard odds. He shat a golden egg and gets the breeding partners.

Life really is bull**** sometimes!

 

[purple haze]

Perhaps, if not a test of loyalty, then it is a test of interest level. Either way, it can be a way of disqualifying a girl.

 

[Dingo]

Women are no different than men.... They will play the field.... Some as hoes but others looking for the best partner and provider.

Sometimes your just not the one she wants to **** or build a life with...

 

[Bokanovsky]

The smart thing is to control the environment rather than let the environment control you. If you are just starting to date a girl and she's not invested, don't take her to parties with your "faker friends" and other questionable people.

 

[speed dawg]

ubercat and Bokanovsky nailed it. Keep it one on one until she's invested. After that, if she pulls some nonsense, see Dingo's quote. Let it go.

But, if you're asking how to handle the situation adequately once you're in and there's no turning back, here is your answer:

Im talking with a girl, tall squared jaw well connected guy comes in a talk to the girl closing me with his shoulders, I gently open and get back in my position then introduce him to the girl as one of the top guys there, I ask him whats his secret to be so popular and most of the time he will screwup already either with a c0cky statement or with some lame joke.

Then I ask him to elaborate on his answer in which he will be doubtful so will take some time to answer and again look weird giving explanations right after, once I see some weakness in there and notice girls could see it too I go with the strike "you dont sound so convincing, maybe you should practive more your lines" or "do those lines work with the girls usually?".

They either feel akward and leave right after or go ape and start behave aggressive toward me, in that case I mock them openly and laught till the girl drags me away and laught, I basically shown self control, witness and courage after challenging a man with better stats.

Of course its a risky game and need to have a feel for that but I see no other options.

 

[Roober]

I find it hard to play this game without getting angry. Sometimes these people are fairly well known and it crossss all boundaries.

One guy I know I have helped immensely, I've even paid for his nights out as he has no money. That's the kind of guy I am....still, he is more successfull with women on account of being more attractive. I can't talk to a girl without him muscling in. It's almost like he views it as his right and the annoying thing is, I don't blame the girls in a way as on first impressions he has more in his locker. I have a good career and far more competent in life in general, but he has the gift so to speak.

It really ****s me off to the extent that I avoid going out if he's there. He could be fvcking 3 women but he will always try to do this. It's possibly because he's quite jealous of my money and success. That's something I have worked hard against some hard odds. He shat a golden egg and gets the breeding partners.

Life really is bull**** sometimes!

Call him out on it. Doesn't sound like a real friend to me. I knew a guy back in the day that would insult our group of guys to put himself above all the other guys. IT was pretty blatant, so it never seemed to really do any good for him. However, I called him out on it once and told him to stop the BS. He never did it again. If he values your friendship, he will respect you.

 

[Alvafe]

I consider this more like a guy forcing himself over her, and you there, is not really a loyalty test, but I find it more a test on how you can protect her, undertand if you control the environment or not you will eventually have to deal with some crazy dude or some retard who are thinking he can go anyway he can.

what @Who Dares Win says work and well, but i'm not really that much patientand moch the dude fast enough, most are easy to read and mocking then is pretty easy to make then go away or try to be macho, in both cases I can deal with it and make then run, also I never lose control of myself with that mean most do get scared

I had 2 cases on this who work well on how to deal with it.

one I was out with a girl, but when it was time to leave there was a huge line to pay and leave the place (last time I go to that place), when I was leaving a little ****, really short guy trying to look biggie trying to say **** to me, Ignored him and he leaves, serious he sitting on a bar bench would make him get taller at least 10 cm, after another girl close by waiting close to us said something about he being annoying, I just make a joke about his size and he looking like that chiuhahuhas who talk too much, everyone laught and that was all, when me and the girl I was was finally leaving, he simple grab her arm and pulled her and start to talk in her ear, I just hug her and pull her to me, and we leave, she tehn said thank you, for me taking lead and pull her out of him.

the 2nd was just a dude who is married, who normally hang out with my friends and me, one time had a girl in that group then he started to try to look like i'm cool and all, all guys was seeing this and see his changed his behavior and he tried to make fun of me saying **** and all, didn't take long for me put him on his place, saying wow you are such a funny guy, I wonder what your wife will say if she saw you now, looking him dead in the eye he felt awkward and stoped talking the rest of the time till the girl leaves, thing was all the otehr guys said he was stupid for doing that.

really don't know if I told this all right, but the thing here is you can and should fight, but fight using words, intimidation, in a subtle way, can not only protect you, but anyone close to you

 

[ubercat]

@Fruitbat it sounds like this is an ongoing situation with this jerk. couple of thoughts.

If his friendship is useful and it's just this that gives you the sh1ts front him but give the rat a way out. Say - mate I know you're just joking around and don't mean it that way.. however...( insert your issue). this is a useful way of fronting anyone for any issue.

Obviously if it happens again go in hard and say mate we already talked about this WTF

If this annoying **** blocking behaviour is a constant issue for you that you want to get on top of find yourself a dojo. find a singles Meetup group in the 30s to fifties age group full of AFC males which seems to be all of them frankly. basically a group that sucks so you don't care if you blow up the social circle go there and practice. try be the wide standing loud talking Alpha arse hat and see if that deters the **** blockers. Try @Who Dares Win s moves. Try agree and amplifly on the AMOGs etc.

I tried one of those singles groups last year it was hilarious. full of fugly chicks and AFCs. these guys were totally knifing each other for the fuglies. it was like the hypergamy apocalypse had happened and we were fighting for the last can of beans. all these guys who were actually quite accomplished in other areas of life were queuing up to be provider bitches to these sadly post-wall chicks

Or if it's just something that comes up once in a while avoid as we suggested.