How to deal with bullies (help!)

[mexican_player2]

school just started again (im in college) and now im more built up (i work out) and now people are starting to notice me. the problem is that in one of my classes there is one guy that is a bully and i know him from high school, he is bigger than me and he practices football.
Well i always have hated him so much he made fun of me and i never said anything because i was scared cuz he is way bigger and i was less confident. but now im more confident and stronger but still he is bigger than me, and he is going to be trying to make fun of me in that class and i cant let that happen,

all my life i have never stand up for myself and now its time to take some action, im not a tough guy but i practice boxing but this dude is way heavier than me and he plays football

what shoud i do?? and dont give me that **** about ignoring him because thats what i have done all my life and it doesnt help, the only thing that ignoring does is that people will see you weaker and that you are a loser and the bully will piss you off more

like if i pass to the front and he starts yelling things at me should i say what is your problem (in front of all the class) and then when he comes out of class i tell him to better stop that , that i aint fukin afraid of him and if he wants problems then we'll settle it like real man

one of the problems about me is that im too soft (i was raised by a single mother) and other problem is that i look that im a very very nice person (i dont look tough even if i wanted to)
and i need more attitude which im getting but still need more
other problem with me is that i dont come with quick and witty comebacks im too slow for that

but fuk this chit, i need to be a real man and stand by myself and fuk this haters

i know this people are insecure and low lives etc. but he has tons of girls and he is popular, and he aint going to take me down he is trying to steal my happiness and my dreams

and i cant ignore that because that doesnt work (we both are 19)

really need help
thanks

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

you like to mention he plays football, whats so special about that> You do boxing, you say you have been working otu and are bigger, well if your a boxer and you cant take him out, something is wrong.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

First day of class walk over to him and body slam him, and then start crying while you are beating his ass with girly open hand punches and say "I hate you I hate you." That shyt works all the time dude.

Then strut like rick flair and yell out "woooo" flair chop his chest and then put him into the figure four leg lock, and I swear everyone will think that you are sooo totally kewl.

 

[GateKeeper]

That is tough. Of all things that irritate me are people like this. But consider this...

one of my good friends is REALLY skinny, and flinches everytime you make quick movements. I remember sitting with him, and this **** head just pimp slapped him in front of this girl he was flirting with. The dumb ass bully just starts giggling, and his other friend was :rockon:

My amigo has had this done to him many times before, so even though everyone knows he is a total wimp he'll exaggurate his voice and say, "You mutha -f(ka, I'll beat yo ass!" and say it with a smile. Most people laugh, and he keeps talking to this girl.. (she didn't care what just happened.)

So, that's asking you to ignore it, and I know you hate that... so in those type of situations I either verbally embarrase him, or set out a time to deal with business. If you embarrass him and he reacts by trying to start a fight, set a later date.

I don't advocate violence, but unless you ignore it... it will only lead to that. Remember, that bully has an mental/emotional void in him, and you can be better than that. :yes:

 

[DJDamage]

Leave your worries in highschool.

You shouldn't worry about something that may or may not happen. Beside's in College nobody really cares. There are so many students and so many groups that one does not have the time to pick on someone and get attention for it.

Don't let this fool get to you, because then he already won. Ignore his ass and if he comes up to you and tries to build something, just laugh it off and say that he's got a hardon for you because he can't seem to leave you alone. If he decides to chase you outside and fight you then for fvck sake's let him have it. He may win but he is not going to come out of it unharmed. You may lose and be all in pain and bloody but at least you can look at yourself in the miror saying that you ain't no pvssy and you got pride. Show that you can stand up for yourself and if you keep on building your muscles and taking boxing seriously then every confortation you will win a little until you win it all.

Eventually he will leave you and pick on weaker targets and you will get respect from everyone else and especially from yourself.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

Get smacked and not whip someone's ass??? FK that you have to have some kind of self-respect. All this schedule a fight at a different time shyt is silly. Aim for his nuts and throat. Bite his balls if you must, but never be someone's bitkh.

 

[BxPrince24]

learn how to dis back. if he's big, talk about how big he is, make people laugh at him if he tries to start on you. Get creative. I've never lost a dissing battle yet. And if he tries to get in ur face, punch him dead in the nose. case closed.

 

[hope7]

What kinda college do you go to? If its a good one, he only going to embarress himself if he tries that kinda stuff. Everyone is gonna be like, 'whats his problem?'. I go to ucsb, and i've bairly seen bullying here unless the guy asks for it. In the cases i've seen bullying, every looks at the bully as some sorta weirdo.

However you stand up to him, don't lose your cool, don't let him bring you down to your level.

 

[Ironwill]

It's simple, embress him , make him look like a ****ing idiot in front of the whole class or school.

After that he WILL a) ignore you, b) fear you, c) be YOUR *****.
I have been in quite some fights, but I also won alot without fighting at all or lost them.
I am at a new school so I was tested if I really was who they tought I might be, the guy who stands above them.
It's like guys want always to create a social ladder, it's difficult to climb it.
If you want a story or an example then I can write it down for ya.

Your problem is that he and you both know that he is stronger then you.
if you did just NOT agree then that's a good sign, fighting spirit is always good.
If you would have been more confident, then he wouldn't bulli you arround, because he would fear the results.
Most bullies only attack people, when they know that they are 100% superior, otherwise the other person could cause them harm.

It's like why should the bulli mess with a strong guy who COULD cause him problems?
They are weak and search only for people who are weaker then them.

 

[insanity]

here's what i learned about bullies. they always pick on somebody they think they can beat. chances are, if your in his class he'll use that opportunity to show your other classmates that he's the tough guy by picking on you, hence trying to prove to everybody else that he's not to be messed with.(alpha crap)

if you let that crap happen, not only will he pick on you the rest of the year, your classmates will either disrespect you too or they may join in and then your fight with 1 becomes more. also your self esteem will never recover and you will become very anti-social.

here's how to turn it around... win or lose, the bully will respect you. your adrenline is your greatest allie. most fights last maybe 2 or 3 minutes or less before they are broken up. i know it sounds cheap, but i have won many fights quickly because i kicked the lads in the ballz, and the next week i saw them they didn't want to fight with me...so it ain't that bad. if you have honor and you want to fight the old fashion way then either way if you win or lose the fight the bully will respect you. he won't be back. he now knows...you grew ballz.

i'm rooting for you.

 

[Desdinova]

Immaturity, hormones, popularity, and competition run rampant in HS. The setting in college is a bit different. People are paying to be there. They can't spend their time screwing around or else they end up wasting their money (or having their parents come down on their ass). You're no longer dealing with a stupid ass teenager, you're dealing with an adult (or what is hopefully an adult).

I learned one hell of a lesson a while ago. I ran into one guy who treated me like 5hit in HS. He didn't recognize me, but I let on to this mutual friend that I knew him. Anyway, our mutual friend went up to him and said "Hey, that guy wants to kick your fvcking ass" and I looked at him all serious. He finally recognized me and we both said our hellos.

What's crazy is when you AMOG your former bully. Instead of beating up on you, he sorta looks up to you. Like fvcking an old one-itis from your AFC days, it's one hell of a rush and gives you a sense of accomplishment.

Former bullies are sorta like ex-gfs. They'll only intimidate you if you allow them to.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Bullies fear confrontation.

 

[mexican_player2]

Thanks everybody for your replies, well colleges in mexico are different than the US and other countries, here they look more like high school but with lots of people, like in most classes there are only 25- 30 people. although the one i am is the best in whole latin america is called Instituto tecnologico de Estudios Superiores de Monterrey (itesm)

this dude havent change, thats cuz on monday i was late so the teacher told me i had to do a big 20 page essay, so then this girls come and he told me to tell them what we have to do (the essay) so i tell them (very confident) and i say that if you are a girl you have to do 10 pages extra and all the class laugh but this bully started making sounds like if it was dumb what i said

but like what i dont know is how to confronting him, i want to embarrass him in front of the class , but like i cant say badwords there cuz then the teacher can kick me out

i be like what the **** is your problem fukin *****
but i cant say that

but like if he tommorrow disrespects me in any kind of way then im gonna try to diss him back, and then should i talk to him after class and tell him to **** off , or just diss him in the class and forget about talking to him after class


i say that he plays football because this dudes are very heavy and he is taller than me , and like if we fight he is gonna tackle me and i cant fight in the ground , but yeah i rather fight and get respect than live like a coward

 

[Slevin]

Bullies fear confrontation.

That's not always true. When I was in HS I saw a couple of beatdowns brought on by the victim standing up for themselves.:kick:

 

[mexican_player2]

IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE

this is the advice I got in highschool from my parents. Didn't ****ing work, never does, never will. You need to deal with it right then and there. I'll tell you about a time in highschool that changed my popularity from 'bullied geek' to 'holy **** that guys crazy'. I used to get bullied every single day, had girls and guys calling me faggot in the hall. Had people tell me to my face I was a loser and a retard all through highschool. People threw rocks, spit balls, shoved me, stole my things, broke my stuff, ripped my clothes. I never hurt anyone and I kept mostly to myself. Until one final day.

I was sitting in class and a few of the popular people were sitting beside me calling me retard. So to avoid and IGNORE them I moved to a desk across the class. Worked for about 10 minutes then a huge eraser smacked me right in the forehead. Well that was it, I lost it. I got up went through the desks full of kids, I pushed peoples desks over while they were sitting in them and got right to the kid, put my arms around his throat and started to squeeze as hard as I possibly could. I finally let him go and took off out the classroom door then I went downstairs and told the principal he was pickin on me in class... hehe so he got suspended, people thought I was crazy, and that was that. Noone every bothered me again, and girls thought I was mysterious and nuts... all of a sudden I had girls pursuing me.

Nobody ever bugged me again till I got to college. I was sitting on a couch and I talked to this girl and she totally blew me off. Her name was venus. so I think I started calling her uranus after that or something. Anyway one of her afc followers came up to me. He was about 100 lbs heavier than I was, all muscle and said I WANT YOU TO APPOLOGIZE TO HER RIGHT NOW. I told him to **** off and walked away. Later on some people I knew said he had told them to tell me to appologize OR ELSE. Well that week I enrolled in Aikido and Muay Thai private lessons. I saw the dude again in the hall with her a week later. He came walking towards me and I threw all my stuff on the ground and went toe to toe with him. He goes "I think I should warn you, I know ninjitsu, appologize now, I know where you live". I said "Ya? Well thats cool, (I lied) I've been taking Aikido and Muay Thai for 3 years so you just bring whatever you think you have over to my house and we'll settle this once and for all"

Well guess what, after about a minute, he backed down and never spoke to me again. Now that I've actually been studying the arts for several years, I realize that Ninjitsu is probably the worst martial art out... If you gotta use bravado at least say something tough like "Jui-jitsu, krav maga or spetz". Also if you know anything about martial arts, YOU NEVER EVER go toe to toe... its like the stupidest thing anyone can ever do. What a fag.

Study some martial arts and you'll never be picked on again, why? You learn that if someone knows as much about fighting as you do, he has the potential to give you alot more than just a bloody nose. And how the hell do you tell a martial artist from the average joe blow... you can't. So you don't pick on people. Anyone who knows any martial art doesn't randomly pick on anyone else, unless they have a death wish.

I understand the football player thing, don't worry about his boys... the bigger they are the harder they fall. These types usually think they're tough cause they've played a contact sport (woopy doo). Their typically stupid and your gonna meet alot more of them so you better learn how to deal with them right now. If your really into boxing then you know that it only takes one shot to disable someone, so if things go down that route you'll come out the one on top. Next time he says something to you, call him out... Tell him hes a faggot and to leave you alone unless he wants to do something about it right now... yell like a mother****er. Tell him to shut the **** up and call him a stupid jock. Dont ignore your problems.

I consider myself the anti-terminator terminator, I seek out bullies and destroy them. Don't let him do it to anybody else either. I've trained all my friends to fight, nobody I hang with is unconfident...most of them are iching for some action and everyone knows the guy who pushes me is ****ed. I even trained my girlfriend. You can do the same.

thanks a lot homie for real i appreciate it im gonna do that

 

[hamelech]

listen close I know how to deal with this

First determine whether it's just verbal or if there is physical intimidation behind it...You can easily see this... If there are things he can say to you that you cant say to him then he's really trying to bully you...Ex: It's ok for him to talk about your mother but if you talk about his its fighting words...

If it really is physical intimidation...Next time he really disrespects you...talk to him after class EXTREMELY calm and confident...Tell him "You need to lay off of me and I'm not going to tell you again," and walk away He'll probably try to provoke you to fight right then or really start talking trash...Don't fight him unless he throws the first punch, other wise walk away...If you have to fight right then, fight your hardest. If you win problem solved...if you loose problem may still be solved

Let's assume you fight him, you lose and later on he's even harder on your case because now he can say he beat your ***...You just wait until you catch him completely off guard and either hit him with something or just try to break your fist in his throat...don't kill him but make him remember it...Rant and rave about how you're not taking this **** anymore. Make him think you've snapped or gone crazy...Unless he's some advanced martial artist almost anyone can be defeated if they're caught off guard (sitting down, back turned etc.) It works the same way if you didn't fight him the first day...The next time he insults you show no reaction...catch him off guard as soon as possible...preferrably the same day but after the initial confrontation.

Once you catch a bullie off guard it usually works...Even if he feels he can beat you mano y mano...Noone likes the feeling of having to look over they're shoulder and in general bullies (even huge ones) are cowards...It will be much easier for him to just ignore you...Alot of times they'll even try to make friends with you after a good beat down...asuming there's no permanent damage

On the other side I have to tell you that when you're thinking about fighting someone you have to weigh the risks versus the actual effect on your life...I have gotten in trouble several times for fighting in school and the army under similar circumstances...I think I got to the point where I had a chip on my shoulder and was too eager to fight because I was actually more afraid of how people would see me if I didn't etc..Every situation different ...sometimes it is better to walk away

 

[SamePendo]

Vas en el Tec?

Uey, todos aqui te van a decir lo mismo, vas a tener que terminar por enfrentartele. A ti que te valga pura madre lo que haga y diga, el y todos los demás, respetate a ti mismo y cuidate. Pero no vayas y nadamas le digas de cositas, hazle ver que hablas enserio y que si se quiere partir la madre, estas listo.

Y porcierto, Luis Miguel es la neta.

 

[Dude2Stud]

Gosh I have this "friend" who bullies me now and then. The problem of confronting him is that we both hang around with the same group of friends so I don't know if the results will be on my favor or on his. That guy has good comebacks so I'm not sure how to attack him verbably as well. But I'm sure about one thing I'm gonna try to talk to him alone, if nothing is solved I'm going to end that friendship and try to kick his ass.

 

[Dude2Stud]

En que campus vas?

 

[Nighthawk]

When I was at school my big mouth would occasionally get me in trouble, and my initial reaction was to run away. Like you, I decided I'd rather have a few bruises than feel a coward, so once I moved schools I decided to fight back.

I won some, I lost some, and I even enjoyed some. I never regretted any, and I found that once you establish a reputation as someone who fights back, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOU WIN OR LOSE, you will get respect, even from your enemy, and ultimately have less trouble.

In the meantime, do not escalate the abuse, but match it. BE FUNNY, so the rest of the class will be on your side. Do not be the one to suggest a fight, but don't back down if he gets violent.

And if he beats your ass, wait a while then sneak up behind him and smash his brains out with a baseball bat.