How To Deal With An Idiot At My Work Place?

[soulforge]

So this new guy has recently started at my workplace.. Nobody seems to like him, and he has a really ****y chitty attitude.. very arrogant.

So he sits quite near me, in my team.. We are office based..

Recently he has been trying to MOCK me a little, making pizz take type comments here and there...

Now outside of my work place, normally by now, I would have knocked some fuking sense into him.. However in the work environment this is not possible..

So far it's been tic for tac.. If he takes the mick out of me or is rude... I hit him back with something worse... but more than likely this will continue the cycle...

He does this in a jokey type manner, so it's not percived as serious!

I barely know this guy, and don't even like having much to do with him..


What is the best way to deal with this?


01. Play him at his own game, totally verbally destroy him? But chances are, it will keep going back and forth.

02. Tell him seriously that I don't appreciate his attitude, he best calm down or I will report him to management

03. Or just knock him the fuk out, if he talks chit again?

 

[zekko]

01. Play him at his own game, totally verbally destroy him? But chances are, it will keep going back and forth.

02. Tell him seriously that I don't appreciate his attitude, he best calm down or I will report him to management

03. Or just knock him the fuk out, if he talks chit again?

I prefer the direct approach. I would pick #2, confront him about his behavior. But I would leave off the bit about reporting it to management. It's possible if you just have a straight up talk with him, he'll knock it off. Unless it's a habit for him to act like a d!ck, which is quite possible. I'm not fond of "snitching" anyway, and I'm sure management would respect you more if you handled it (appropriately).

As you say, #1 just escalates it, and #3 probably gets you fired, if not locked up.

 

[Murk]

Spin plates and meet other women.

 

[fanatic22]

Bang his mom

 

[Murk]

In all seriousness we all encounter this, men posturing up, sizing us up, testing us, but never, I repeat NEVER, from a new guy.

Hes entering your zone nro and needs to play his position.

Next time he tries to play you drop:

"Bro, what actually is your problem? Do you want to go downstairs outside and we can have a chat man to man?"

I've actually had to say this to colleagues/people in the past - they fold like a house of cards. On the off chance this guy is really about that life - downstair you tell him you both can scuff it out if he has a problem but you're not a ****head and he needs to fix his behaviour because you wont tolerate it.

He is obv an alpha to pull some ballsy **** like this - out alpha him, but be prepared to escalate the situation to violence as that is any confrontations natural conclusion.

I have said "I'm prepared to escalate any situation to violence" at least 5 times once in work and four times outside - they have always folded. But I've always been prepared to swing hands. Grown men need to be able to die for the cause IMO.

I've also said "I'm not afraid to give or take a punch... but I think you are" I actually used that in December after a Christmas work party to some guy that got too boisterous for my liking. But I'm about that life and genuinely relish confrontation, I'm a calm passive nice guy so obviously these situations arise regularly.

Put all cards on the table, you're happy to escalate to violence over your pride - they will 9 times out of 10 fold. But you must deliver it with belief, I'm not sure the outcome if you fake it.

Keep me posted on this one as it resonates.

 

[TheProspect]

01. Play him at his own game, totally verbally destroy him? But chances are, it will keep going back and forth.

And what does "totally verbally destroying" someone do to benefit you? Does it make you feel good? Better than? Like nobody can fvck with Soulforge?

Why are you spending so much mental energy on how you can one up someone you barely know?

I bet you can name 10 things off the top of your head your time and energy would be better focused on.

Remember: you are at work. You are not obligated to show everyone you are the toughest guy in the office.

02. Tell him seriously that I don't appreciate his attitude, he best calm down or I will report him to management

Asserting to him that his behaviour is irritating is a good start. But when you phrase it to him I would advise against using any of this "you best do _____ or _____ will happen". Asserting to him that you will contact management is reasonable if he is unwilling to work something out with you, but avoiding turning it into a threat.

Remember: you are at work. You are not obligated to show everyone you are the toughest in the office.

03. Or just knock him the fuk out, if he talks chit again?

People usually resort to violence when they are both unable to articulate how they feel and lack self-regulation. If you find yourself wanting to physically assault someone because you don't like the vocal sounds coming from their voice box, you should consider practicing some mindfulness. It will improve all areas of your life.

Remember: you are at work. You are not obligated to show everyone you are the toughest guy in the office.


Don't expect everyone around you to change their behaviour. Work on your emotional intelligence. At the end of the day, the only one you have control over is yourself.

 

[Murk]

02. Tell him seriously that I don't appreciate his attitude, he best calm down or I will report him to management

LOL I missed this.

Hilarious

 

[051AV]

You don't want to take a swing at somebody it can land you in deeper sh*t than anything else I've been tempted to do that to pricks that p*ss me off. Your better off confronting the guy and tell him you don't appreciate his attitude, I wouldn't bring up reporting him to management it may make things worse, tell him he's on his first strike, he will wonder what in the hell your talking about. Sounds like the guy is insecure, the best thing to do is ignore him if he sees he doesn't get a reaction he may move onto somebody else.

 

[Bible_Belt]

This is easier said than done, but you are best served to realize the position of low self-esteem behind the guy's actions. Anyone with a need to tear someone else down is trying to bring them down to what they see as their own level.

 

[Murk]

I have to admit that i'm laughing too.

Does that mean we are sympathising with the other guy in the situ, or something?

No but you should have more than resorting snitching, either handle it like a man or take the L. Allow him to have dominance over you, it's the way of the jungle.

 

[Murk]

We preach game and alphaness here, but ultimately, physicality is the making of alpha, game aside, if you can't back a physical altercation with brute force you are not truly alpha in the purest sense of the word. This is possibly where DJ's meet real life.

 

[Red Legg]

Find out what car he drives and wait for him after work.......and have a man to man "chat" with him by his car I suggest leaning against it waiting for him to arrive .. works like a charm.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

All I'll say is try to nip it in the bud with a serious chat before it gets ridiculous. Don't tattle though, that just looks weak. It's okay if he's actually bullying/harassing you, but if he's just being a d*ck you just need to call him out on it yourself early.

Probably the most stupid work situation I've got into was when I had someone under me that I was teaching the ropes. He was full of dangerous practices, was being lazy and had some huge chip on his shoulder regarding authority.

While I was helping this guy out a lot, being very polite to him and even spent a couple of hours fixing his equipment for him at one point, he was giving me zero respect. At one point he told me publically (with a smirk on his face) that I was "acting like a d*ck" after he inconvenienced me for an hour and a half.

Well, at that point I just got angry, took him into the corridor and called him on his bull**** there and then ("How exactly have I ever been a d*ck? What the f*ck are you talking about?"). Dressed him down on all his failings and finished with "So you've got a choice: we're either going to get along, or I'm going to stop making your life easy and show you what it's like when I am making your life s***."

From then on the BS ceased entirely and my colleagues were actually commending me on my balls. He was a decent guy once he stopped trying it on, and he became a good friend of mine.

My one failing was I got angry in the first place, properly scary angry to the extent I think he thought I was going to knock him out, lol. That's why I say handle it early, before it hits that point.

 

[Papa_smu]

01. Play him at his own game, totally verbally destroy him? But chances are, it will keep going back and forth.

02. Tell him seriously that I don't appreciate his attitude, he best calm down or I will report him to management

03. Or just knock him the fuk out, if he talks chit again?

Firstly, I'm sorry you have to come to work with this guy. I've worked with people much similar in the past, and not only makes being productive all the more difficult but doesn't do much help with work-related stress.

These options you mentioned can be taken but why try settling this by yourself? Would it really fix the problem making it personal?

If there isn't anybody better in the company to set this jerk-off straight than your decision maker A.K.A the boss. If you approach him and ask him if he can have a "conversation" about said coworker's behavior and how it's keeping you from getting your work done, I'm sure he/she is more than welcome to give them a "coaching"

From there, it could go two ways:

A) Jerk-off employee gets butt hurt and tries to retaliate. Then you can get an even better group involved: Human Resources. I'm sure they won't think twice about making this employee ride the bus and never come back.

B) Jerk-off employee gets pissed but realizes he needs to pay the bills. He apologizes for being a dips**t and tries to work with you.

To summarize, trying to handle an arrogant coworker on your own doesn't work. If anything, it can make you look bad or worse gets you canned.

It's much better to fix the problem, and not the man by going to your boss and letting them know it's interfering with your work.

 

[soulforge]

The only reason why I am treading carefully is because I don't want to jeopardise my job..

Personaly I prefer to nip it in the bud, and let him know he needs to watch what he says, I don't put up with chitty remarks..

Like i said before, outside of work I would have dealt with him by now, I can easily take him out physicaly..

If i feel he has spoken out of term again, I will let him know I don't appreciate his attitude.. Thanks guys!

 

[soulforge]

Can you laugh at yourself? Make it a joke.

"Are you calling me fat?"

"I'll remember you said that the next time i'm climbing off your mum"

Loads of times where i started getting into arguments with people to later become really great friends. Try not to take it so serious.

I hear what you say, but this tic for tac having jabs at each other then becomes a cycle..

Getting one up on each other.. isn't going to solve..

I think a joke shoud be taken as a joke, but personal attacks, DISGUISED as a joke, should be dealt with, by a direct approach

 

[wifehunter]

Those kinds of people...I do nothing.

Their attitude usually effects other persons, so then the problem takes care of itself.

It's just a matter of time. Plus, my silence makes them uncomfortable, as they can not get to me.

"A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle." - ESV

 

[soulforge]

soulforge,

I deal with extremely difficult people all the time.

Why don’t you give us a direct example of something he would say to you, and I’ll show you how you shut people down, make them look bad, and show them never to fvck with you again.

Usually, all it takes with a bully like this is one good sharp cutting remark that hits him hard and shows him not to fvck with you again.

If he continues, another verbal stab should do the trick and shut him up. Very rarely after this will a bully persist, but if he does more emotional abuse may be necessary to shock his conscience to the core.

Hey bradd to be honest, i can destroy this guy verbally and shut him up.. However at some point he will come back at me with something too

So chances are, we will go back and forth like this..

So instead of going back and forth like a bunch of kids everyday, i felt like maybe I should just SERIOUSLY tell him, that he should think about how he talks to people

Let him know I won't play his game, and I am serious..

Physically I am certain I can knock this guy clean out.. He is a little taller than me, but he is in bad shape.. Weak arms, pot belly.. Where as physically I am very strong!

 

[QuadDeuces]

Look him in the eye and tell him in a calm professional voice that he is out of line and should tone it down.

 

[Macaframalama]

People usually resort to violence when they are both unable to articulate how they feel and lack self-regulation. If you find yourself wanting to physically assault someone because you don't like the vocal sounds coming from their voice box, you should consider practicing some mindfulness. It will improve all areas of your life.

Said no man ever. A good smack upside the head for promoting this bullchit, along with the snitchery might do you some good actually.