How To deal With A Flakey Plate?

[soulforge]

Well, if she's a casual hook up for you chances are she's a casual hook up for other guys as well. I mean, plates aren't exactly the kind of girls who are exclusive are they? Why would they be?

True man... if she flakes, then i just get on with chit... make some distance from her...

If she comes over, will wrap up and bang

 

[wolf]

True man... if she flakes, then i just get on with chit... make some distance from her...

If she comes over, will wrap up and bang

If she comes over then you don't answer the Door. All you are doing is enabling her behaviour to continue.

 

[AJ84]

Look at how you are talking about her man.

Calling her names like b1tch and cvnt or devaluing her logically will NOT kill your attraction to her.

You are pissed at her because you think she's playing with your heart. But you are letting her play with it, which is making her disrespect you even more by chit testing harder.

A woman chit testing you means that she's attracted to you or she'll just ignore you because wtf can you do?


There are girls who I know who text me by saying 'Let's meet but we aren't having sex tonight'.

I've been called 'crazy, @sshole, douchebag'

Just 15 minutes earlier my main girl texted 'You are a psycho b1tch'

I mean cmon man what do you think chit tests are if they are all hopping on my c0ck and smiling afterwards?

She's flaking and not meeting you because you are needy and butt hurt and need to grow some balls.

Get a damn life man. I won't apologise for tough love.

Do that and she'll come to you. But if you do that with the intention of making her come to you, you are done.

So when us guys tell you to next her, we don't want you to lose pvssy, we want you to get a life and not focus on her so you can get her.

A man's attraction is fairly consistent and doesn't end by using logic.

On the other hand, a woman's attraction is fickle that's why they chit test, if you pass they'll hop on you, if you fail they'll actually be sad.

Women want us to win and that's why I love them all.

Except uglies.

Flaking, ignoring someone, turning cold etc is not always a woman sh*t testing you. Some women simple lose interest and are not trying to test anything, they just don't care anymore, or they don't care enough to be considerate. I mean it's a causal no strings thing I'm assuming, by the OPs description. Maybe he's also a plate and as such she has him in a rotation and perhaps another plate had a better offer, who knows.

I don't think it's wise to assume that every time a woman flakes it's a test. The time wasted trying to figure it out could be time spent meeting another woman. If it's a real test she will likely come back if you just ignore it and do your own thing. If it's not a test and she just lost interest oh well, the OP said he is arranging other hooks up so that's good.

 

[soulforge]

Flaking, ignoring someone, turning cold etc is not always a woman sh*t testing you. Some women simple lose interest and are not trying to test anything, they just don't care anymore, or they don't care enough to be considerate. I mean it's a causal no strings thing I'm assuming, by the OPs description. Maybe he's also a plate and as such she has him in a rotation and perhaps another plate had a better offer, who knows.

I don't think it's wise to assume that every time a woman flakes it's a test. The time wasted trying to figure it out could be time spent meeting another woman. If it's a real test she will likely come back if you just ignore it and do your own thing. If it's not a test and she just lost interest oh well, the OP said he is arranging other hooks up so that's good.

I agree with this... pretty certain this isn't a chit test.. I think she arranged to meet, then other events possibly took over...

Non the less she had ample opportunity to make me aware of this, but left it last minute..

Also the fact she did not rearrange for Wednesday or Thursday shows low IL because she was sounding pretty desperate to make the most of that week to fuk me..

Could be something or nothing... only thing i can do is, make myself less available..

Her hamster is already spinning.. keep getting texts.

How come your not talking much..

Told her i,m busy at a mates house..

 

[AJ84]

Putting demands on a hook up chick to adhere to your time and convenience doesn't make sense. That implies some level of neediness that isn't warranted in something so casual. I'm not saying be available to her schedule 24/7 but just be casual and if she changes dates say "oh well maybe next time if I'm around", not "well you have to come when it's good for me" like she has to get into your frame. She doesn't. She is a plate who is not being offered anything other than sex which she can probably from other men get like shooting fish in a bucket. Just be chill, enjoy and have as much variety as you can but don't put committed girlfriend expectations on someone who you are just sleeping with no strings attached.

 

[soulforge]

Putting demands on a hook up chick to adhere to your time and convenience doesn't make sense. That implies some level of neediness that isn't warranted in something so casual. I'm not saying be available to her schedule 24/7 but just be casual and if she changes dates say "oh well maybe next time if I'm around", not "well you have to come when it's good for me" like she has to get into your frame. She doesn't. She is a plate who is not being offered anything other than sex which she can probably from other men get like shooting fish in a bucket. Just be chill, enjoy and have as much variety as you can but don't put committed girlfriend expectations on someone who you are just sleeping with no strings attached.

I agree man... but last minute flakes, is just a matter of common courtesy.. i could have put other plans in place

 

[sazc]

Right now you can stop your phone by saying @gym, will TTYL" and leave it until you want to deal.

Eventually you can say " possibly next Friday, let's see how my week looks" and leave her hanging.

You can also tell her you are busy next Friday but free Wednesday and see what she says, since you are questioning that she has the entire week off

 

[AJ84]

I agree man... but last minute flakes, is just a matter of common courtesy.. i could have put other plans in place

You're right it's annoying when anyone bails at the last minute and it's too late to make other plans. That goes for a lot of social stuff.

 

[soulforge]

Sh*t happens in life and I am always cool with a last-minute reschedule, once. But if a woman does this twice, I don't hesitate to call her out on the bullsh*t.

I just say, "Hey, I'm not gonna play these bullsh*t games with you. You either come over or you don't". If she does, cool. If she doesn't, I drop her and move on.

Very simple.

No reason to over-think this sh*t.

Haha man don't fuk about

 

[EyeBRollin]

Long story short, she wanted to come over to my house tonight for secs.. she is off work for a week, so she kept telling me she wants to come over for regular secs, as much as possible.. and how horny she is..

we arranged for tonight... then she starts dropping hints about having to leave early from my house, in order to look after her niece.

If a woman ever drops hints about flaking, you simply withdraw the offer. Wait a week and try again.

There is no need to subject yourself to a flake. Withdrawing the offer re-establishes that you are in control and have better **** to do if she is unsure. When you withdraw, she will either plead with you to keep the date (high interest) or let it ride (low interest).

You aren't out yet, but here's how you handle this:

01. Why leave it so late in the day to flake, I could have made other plans?

She doesn't respect you. However, your gut told you something was fishy when she dropped hints.

02. Why then did she want to rearrange for Friday, when she is free on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, why leave it that late (especially with her being so horny)

Who cares? If she counters for Friday, you take the counter offer for Friday.

03. Why should I rearrange another date on her chosen day?

04. Should I only meet her on my chosen day, so she realises flaking means, no longer able to see me when she wants?

Because she offered you another day, and the only way to keep things progressing is to spend actual time together. There's no need to be butthurt. A counter offer is not the time to demand respect. You're lucky she counter offered. It means she didn't drop you yet.

 

[soulforge]

Right now you can stop your phone by saying @gym, will TTYL" and leave it until you want to deal.

Eventually you can say " possibly next Friday, let's see how my week looks" and leave her hanging.

You can also tell her you are busy next Friday but free Wednesday and see what she says, since you are questioning that she has the entire week off

Well tonight I have blown her off... hardly spoke to her, said was busy with my mates..

Her hamster was spinning.. last message she left..

I will text you tomorrow..

I will still communicate with her, but a little reserved.. don't want her getting too comfortable and taking liberties..

And yes Sacz... I intend to decline her for next Friday and offer her Sunday or Monday instead...

I get it... chit comes up sometimes... but i double checked with her.. and only two hours later she flakes...

It's principle.. then she re arranges next date, on her terms!

I don't want to her to get the impression, flake on me last minute, and I will just smile and take it..

Fuk no... to be continued

 

[soulforge]

If a woman ever drops hints about flaking, you simply withdraw the offer. Wait a week and try again.

There is no need to subject yourself to a flake. Withdrawing the offer re-establishes that you are in control and have better **** to do if she is unsure. When you withdraw, she will either plead with you to keep the date (high interest) or let it ride (low interest).

You aren't out yet, but here's how you handle this:


Nah brah... a chick flakes last minute, fuks up your



She doesn't respect you. However, your gut told you something was fishy when she dropped hints.



Who cares? If she counters for Friday, you take the counter offer for Friday.



Because she offered you another day, and the only way to keep things progressing is to spend actual time together. There's no need to be butthurt. A counter offer is not the time to demand respect. You're lucky she counter offered. It means she didn't drop you yet.

If a woman ever drops hints about flaking, you simply withdraw the offer. Wait a week and try again.

There is no need to subject yourself to a flake. Withdrawing the offer re-establishes that you are in control and have better **** to do if she is unsure. When you withdraw, she will either plead with you to keep the date (high interest) or let it ride (low interest).

You aren't out yet, but here's how you handle this:



She doesn't respect you. However, your gut told you something was fishy when she dropped hints.



Who cares? If she counters for Friday, you take the counter offer for Friday.



Because she offered you another day, and the only way to keep things progressing is to spend actual time together. There's no need to be butthurt. A counter offer is not the time to demand respect. You're lucky she counter offered. It means she didn't drop you yet.

Nah brah.. taking her counter offer is just accepting scraps!

What will this teach her...

It will only reinforce in her, that there is no price to pay for flaking last minute... and if I offer him a bone on my chosen day, this desperate chump will just take it...


I would be pretty much rewarding her for her ignorance..

This advice does not sit well with me...


I need to take charge.. she meets on my terms next time..

I limit what time i give to her... she has to work fukin hard for my time from here on... or I else I replace her for someone more worthy!

A second flake will not be forgiven

 

[AJ84]

Do your thing and hold back a bit but remember, you're not offering anything real in terms of commitment or a relationship right? Theres no real incentive for her to work that hard as a plate when that's all that she will ever be. Just keep that in mind and continue meeting other girls.

Unless I'm missing something and you want her to be your girlfriend but it doesn't seem that way.

 

[AJ84]

I don't speak for all women, but I can safely say that on average, a woman who thinks her man may commit to her will put in the work to make that happen. A woman who knows she will only just be a hook up will likely not bother making much of an effort because why should she.

I'm not advocating lying and pretending to be a potential boyfriend just to get girls because that's a coward move. It's more gutsy to be upfront with your intentions with your plates and risk flakiness than deceit and hurt someone.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Nah brah.. taking her counter offer is just accepting scraps!

What will this teach her...

It will teach her that you aren't crazy and butthurt because she had to reschedule plans.

Key word being reschedule. She didn't cancel on you because she counter-offered. Don't you see it? Put your ego aside.

Women with low interest do not counter-offer.

Buddy, you are already winning. Don't blow it by stepping on your own ****.

It will only reinforce in her, that there is no price to pay for flaking last minute... and if I offer him a bone on my chosen day, this desperate chump will just take it...

I would be pretty much rewarding her for her ignorance..

This advice does not sit well with me...

Okay. You go ahead and do what you want. How are the ladies responding to your intransigence?.

I need to take charge.. she meets on my terms next time..

The way you're going about this, there probably won't be a next time.

I limit what time i give to her... she has to work fukin hard for my time from here on... or I else I replace her for someone more worthy!

A second flake will not be forgiven

It's not a flake, she counter-offered.

 

[finality]

OP is analyzing every move and convo that his plate is doing. I've been there before. Once you are in that mentality you will literally seek out any sort of discrepancies in her actions, any change in her patterns will send you to contemplation. You won't be able to go present even when you are with her because you will suspect something and resent her.

inb4 the next thread

 

[Solomon]

That would be great man, but it's not long since i come out of a LTR so i am currently working on that..

I this one plate, who flaked on me tonight.. I have another plate, but she is long distance, i only see her once every two or so..

Still working on more plates... worse thing is, I was horny as fuk today.. haha

Its weird, she has a week off work, she kept asking me that she wants to spend as much of it as possible coming over for secs...

She then flakes, and wants to re arrange for next week..

Something does not add up, she has all this week free...

Possibly another dog in the yard lol... fuk her, will distance myself and just **** her on my terms only...

If she walks, then her loss!!

Bro I wasn't trying to come at you sideways or nothing
Trust me I'm in a similar boat as you
I got no plates right now, when 3 months ago I had about 4
Tomorrow I got a first date with a chick that lives half a mile from me so will see how it goes

But you always gotta acquire new plates, sad reality

 

[soulforge]

It will teach her that you aren't crazy and butthurt because she had to reschedule plans.

Key word being reschedule. She didn't cancel on you because she counter-offered. Don't you see it? Put your ego aside.

Women with low interest do not counter-offer.

Buddy, you are already winning. Don't blow it by stepping on your own ****.



Okay. You go ahead and do what you want. How are the ladies responding to your intransigence?.



The way you're going about this, there probably won't be a next time.



It's not a flake, she counter-offered.

Ok ok man... you win... this is her first flake, so I will let it go..

I will still only meet her on Saturday, instead of the Friday that she suggested... As Friday is generally not a good day for me...

That being said... I still intend to take charge of the situation by only seeing her once a week. And most of the time, it will be on my terms.

I will have to make it clear to her, any change of plans, she needs to let me know ahead of time, not last minute..

 

[EyeBRollin]

I will have to make it clear to her, any change of plans, she needs to let me know ahead of time, not last minute..

Waste of time. Pretend like it didn't happen, and show her a good time. Don't argue or relitigate the past... it won't help. If she does it again it becomes a pattern and you can decide what the bigger picture looks like with this girl. For now, you have a date.

 

[Solomon]

Sh*t happens in life and I am always cool with a last-minute reschedule, once. But if a woman does this twice, I don't hesitate to call her out on the bullsh*t.

I just say, "Hey, I'm not gonna play these bullsh*t games with you. You either come over or you don't". If she does, cool. If she doesn't, I drop her and move on.

Very simple.

No reason to over-think this sh*t.

What if she just cancels without a counter offer? just curious

Wouldn't that be grounds to dismiss her the 1st time?