We've all dealt with it before. You make plans with a girl. You're excited to see her. You spend hours visualising the date, thinking of witty lines and remarks. You pretty much have the whole night mapped out in your head.
So when you get the call or the text message from her telling you she won't be able to make it, of course it hurts. You probably feel like she kicked you in the stomach. Then you start to question yourself. Why doesn't she like me? Why doesn't she want to spend time with me? Am I a total loser?
These negative thoughts can soon turn into a downward spiral, so that a few days later, something as simple as a girl not showing up on a date, has made you feel completely worthless. Then of course, the next time you speak to her, she has got you in such a bind that you say something stupid and your chances with her are lost forever.
The best way to handle a flake is to act indifferent. Even if you feel like your whole world has ended, the way you handle her flaking will decide if you ever get another shot.
Treat it like a test, because it probably is. Thats correct, girls minds work in mysterious ways, and it is not really our job to figure out why, it is our job to deal with these tests in a mature and masculine way.
Exhibit A:
You have a date lined up with Jenny Johnson tonight. You've been looking forward to it for a few days. You get a phone call from her, only 2 hours before you are meant to meet up, telling you she can't make it tonight and that she's really sorry.
The way you respond to her flaking will decide if you ever get another shot with her.
If you act like a kid who didn't get the birthday present he was hoping for, you can kiss your chances with Jenny Johnson goodbye forever. If she flakes on you, and you act is if this has really upset you, you will come across as needy and desparate.
On the otherhand, Jenny Johnson has infact done the wrong thing by you. Flaking a few hours before your meeting is rude and inconciderate. Unless she has a legitimate reason for not showing up, then you have every right to be annoyed.
So what is the best way to respond?
Firstly, if Jenny Johnson sends you a text message, this is 2 strikes. The first strike is flaking, the second is that she does not have the courtesy to pick up the phone and call. In this case, do not respond at all.
When she tries to contact you a few days later, just blow it off and act although nothing has happened.
If, however, Jenny Johnson has the decency to give you a call, you will obviously have to put a little more thought into your response.
The conversation should go something like this:
Ring Ring Ring.
You: Hello?
Jenny: Hey You, how are you?
You: Oh, not too bad, what's happening?
Jenny: Not a lot, I have bad news... I won't be able to make it tonight..
You: Oh yeah? How come?
[Okay, this is where it could get tricky. If Jenny gives you a reason that sounds like it could be legitimate, then you should play it safe and respond with:
Oh okay thats cool, I'll catch up with you another time.
If, however, her reason is something trivial, or something that wouldn't stop you from seeing her, then your response will be slightly different.
Jenny: I think im getting sick/my dog has a stomach ache/I forgot my old friend is in town and I should really see her while she is here/...etc
You: Okay, could you have let me know a little bit earlier?
Jenny: (Jenny could respond a number of different ways here, this is irrelevant)
You: Don't worry about it, I'll catch up with you another time.
That's all you need to do! Do not try to make another date with her, if she is actually sorry and actually wanted to meet up with you, she will try to make a date with you herself.
Asking her if she could have let you know earlier, sends Jenny the message that you have other things to do, and that she has annoyed you.
Keep it simple and short and you have nothing to worry about. You will also avoid feeling like a loser when the call is ended, since you kept your self respect and dignity throughout the situation.
So when you get the call or the text message from her telling you she won't be able to make it, of course it hurts. You probably feel like she kicked you in the stomach. Then you start to question yourself. Why doesn't she like me? Why doesn't she want to spend time with me? Am I a total loser?
These negative thoughts can soon turn into a downward spiral, so that a few days later, something as simple as a girl not showing up on a date, has made you feel completely worthless. Then of course, the next time you speak to her, she has got you in such a bind that you say something stupid and your chances with her are lost forever.
The best way to handle a flake is to act indifferent. Even if you feel like your whole world has ended, the way you handle her flaking will decide if you ever get another shot.
Treat it like a test, because it probably is. Thats correct, girls minds work in mysterious ways, and it is not really our job to figure out why, it is our job to deal with these tests in a mature and masculine way.
Exhibit A:
You have a date lined up with Jenny Johnson tonight. You've been looking forward to it for a few days. You get a phone call from her, only 2 hours before you are meant to meet up, telling you she can't make it tonight and that she's really sorry.
The way you respond to her flaking will decide if you ever get another shot with her.
If you act like a kid who didn't get the birthday present he was hoping for, you can kiss your chances with Jenny Johnson goodbye forever. If she flakes on you, and you act is if this has really upset you, you will come across as needy and desparate.
On the otherhand, Jenny Johnson has infact done the wrong thing by you. Flaking a few hours before your meeting is rude and inconciderate. Unless she has a legitimate reason for not showing up, then you have every right to be annoyed.
So what is the best way to respond?
Firstly, if Jenny Johnson sends you a text message, this is 2 strikes. The first strike is flaking, the second is that she does not have the courtesy to pick up the phone and call. In this case, do not respond at all.
When she tries to contact you a few days later, just blow it off and act although nothing has happened.
If, however, Jenny Johnson has the decency to give you a call, you will obviously have to put a little more thought into your response.
The conversation should go something like this:
Ring Ring Ring.
You: Hello?
Jenny: Hey You, how are you?
You: Oh, not too bad, what's happening?
Jenny: Not a lot, I have bad news... I won't be able to make it tonight..
You: Oh yeah? How come?
[Okay, this is where it could get tricky. If Jenny gives you a reason that sounds like it could be legitimate, then you should play it safe and respond with:
Oh okay thats cool, I'll catch up with you another time.
If, however, her reason is something trivial, or something that wouldn't stop you from seeing her, then your response will be slightly different.
Jenny: I think im getting sick/my dog has a stomach ache/I forgot my old friend is in town and I should really see her while she is here/...etc
You: Okay, could you have let me know a little bit earlier?
Jenny: (Jenny could respond a number of different ways here, this is irrelevant)
You: Don't worry about it, I'll catch up with you another time.
That's all you need to do! Do not try to make another date with her, if she is actually sorry and actually wanted to meet up with you, she will try to make a date with you herself.
Asking her if she could have let you know earlier, sends Jenny the message that you have other things to do, and that she has annoyed you.
Keep it simple and short and you have nothing to worry about. You will also avoid feeling like a loser when the call is ended, since you kept your self respect and dignity throughout the situation.
