How to date multiple women?

[Loki.7]

Come from a long term relationship. Tried to date multiple women but got hooked on one.

That short relationship seems to be going/gone down in flames.

Only ever done the relationship thing. I'm 37 at the moment if that makes any difference?

I seem to do pretty well on online dating, so I'd use that for it's convence. I really want to spend a period of time having sex with different women which I see regularly.

Always done the relationship thing in the past, want to try something different. I tend to form a connection and then a relationship unfolds (all I know right now).


Basically I want to have multiple casual girlfriends that I'm not commited too. I want to be honest about casual (obviously not tell them the details),no lying or pretending to be in a relationship.

Advise, tips?

 

[Stuffnu]

Sounds like there’s nothing wrong with your physical skill set.
Now you need to train your mental one. It’s called Indifference.

 

[RBK]

By not spending too much time with ONE of them you cycle them on and off. Hang out with one every week or every other week.. its the several day in a row **** that messes with your brain from my experience.

 

[monkeybrain]

Nothing new here but in order to do this effectively the women you're dating have to see you as very high value. And you need to communicate that this is a non exclusive relationship subtly. Basically allow each woman to conclude that on her own. If she sees you as valuable enough then she will be more likely to stick around. If it comes to an overt conversation about " What are we" then you have to be willing to drop that plate ultimately. (Indifference) Other than that do what RBK said and rotate often but also have fun with each of the girls. That's how dating should be, fun with no BS.

 

[SetinStone22]

Look, I'ma tell you like this-- To have multiple girls, all you need to do is learn to have fun , and be good in bed. No secret sauce other than that.. You got a personality and you can show a girl a good time/keep her satisfied, she'll stick around.

The two ways you can hurt a girl: Embarrass her in some way or another, Lead her on but not give her what she wants

 

[KirthWGersen]

As other commenters have mentioned, the only issue is your own mind.

Meet a woman, sleep with her, meet her a week or two later.

In the meantime, do the same with three others.

Before you know it, you have several woman at the same time.

There is no trick to it. Just do it.

BUT, if you feel there is something wrong about it, or you are being inauthentic to yourself, you won't be able to do it.

The same rule applies here as to everything else: if you can get one, you can get two, if you can get two, you can get four, etc.

As for things that make it easier: I have kids. So women understand I have other demands on my time, so they don't expect me to be too available.

 

[Indiveber]

I had that mindset until I read: The Rational Male. Changed my life completely.

 

[3AM]

This is all kind of funny to me. Firstly, I don't ever directly convey I am dating more than one woman ever. They can assume your value for themselves. There are never any extra points awarded for being forthright here. So the first issue is passed by not being forthright. If they ask then some general response of "I am seeing other women, because I have learned that making rash decisions, never ends well and when I commit I want it to be able to give my all to it." or something along those lines. It works and is probably most likely congruent with your frame despite you wanting to sleep around for a bit.

If you have been a relationship guy up until this point, I would say my statement is pretty valid.

Now, with multiples. If you can get one you can get more. You just shuffle the deck. While I do this I make sure I am never readily accessible. Even though, I am always available, because that's just who I am. I never let women know that though. Then you simply slide dates into the open slots of your week. It's fundamentally easy.

Your only possible issue is feeling you actually need to bear your heart to a woman, which I would argue you should never do.......ever. I don't care if marriage is involved, just don't. In addition, your communication and lifestyle already need to be adjusted for this, like I mentioned above. If you haven't set this up before you even meet a woman then you set yourself up for failure.

Case and point. You meet up with a girl and she already knows your work schedule and when you are free at night texting etc., It's going to look very odd when you are busy on some times and not others. This doesn't look good if you are trying to keep a girl spinning (Ref Plate Spinning - Rational Male).

You might be thinking, "Hey, honestly is the best policy and these days they don't care." I have never found this to be the case, at least for myself. It's more of girls are turned on by a high value man that can, but they want to feel like they are the special girl that has your time. So breaking this fantasy isn't good for her state if you want to keep her around.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

In my experience the good ones get snatched up into relationships pretty fast. Either you're the one doing the snatching or someone else is. The ones who just have uncommitted sex with randoms for long periods of time are not totally healthy and will have their dramas and baggage.

 

[Loki.7]

This is all kind of funny to me. Firstly, I don't ever directly convey I am dating more than one woman ever. They can assume your value for themselves. There are never any extra points awarded for being forthright here. So the first issue is passed by not being forthright. If they ask then some general response of "I am seeing other women, because I have learned that making rash decisions, never ends well and when I commit I want it to be able to give my all to it." or something along those lines. It works and is probably most likely congruent with your frame despite you wanting to sleep around for a bit.

If you have been a relationship guy up until this point, I would say my statement is pretty valid.

Now, with multiples. If you can get one you can get more. You just shuffle the deck. While I do this I make sure I am never readily accessible. Even though, I am always available, because that's just who I am. I never let women know that though. Then you simply slide dates into the open slots of your week. It's fundamentally easy.

Your only possible issue is feeling you actually need to bear your heart to a woman, which I would argue you should never do.......ever. I don't care if marriage is involved, just don't. In addition, your communication and lifestyle already need to be adjusted for this, like I mentioned above. If you haven't set this up before you even meet a woman then you set yourself up for failure.

Case and point. You meet up with a girl and she already knows your work schedule and when you are free at night texting etc., It's going to look very odd when you are busy on some times and not others. This doesn't look good if you are trying to keep a girl spinning (Ref Plate Spinning - Rational Male).

You might be thinking, "Hey, honestly is the best policy and these days they don't care." I have never found this to be the case, at least for myself. It's more of girls are turned on by a high value man that can, but they want to feel like they are the special girl that has your time. So breaking this fantasy isn't good for her state if you want to keep her around.

Yeah, I need to stop bearing my heart to women! That's for sure.

My life is chaos at the moment so my lifestyle isn't down yet. Recently had to move from a different country back to my hometown.

Waiting to get my house back. Still need steady income.

That said. I want to make it work, whilst I build my life here.

 

[twelveightyone]

Advise, tips?

My tip is -- practice makes perfect. Force yourself to set a date every week with different women.

I've been doing this and each week it gets a little easier. The first couple were disastrous!

 

[2Rocky]

1) date women concurrently in different social circles, cities and zip codes. I've even done different states..
2) Don't put them on social media
3) don't take dates to public events.
4) Don't get sucked into communicating every day.
5) don't see them more than 1x per week
6) Don't get jealous. if you are seeing other people she likely is too.
7) Condoms always
8) Don't introduce them to roommates or family
9) Establish what your carrying capacity is. More than 3 in rotation gets complicated. Establish a main one and audition new girls .

 

[twelveightyone]

2) Don't put them on social media

pro-tip on this one -- If you have Instagram, remove your phone number from your account otherwise it will suggest you as someone to follow.

 

[Raasay]

, "Hey, honestly is the best policy and these days they don't care." I have never found this to be the case, at least for myself.

You are never honest for other people, you are honest for your own integrity, don't underestimate the harm you are doing to yourself by lying.

And to the topic, I like the advice here. But I personally do not beliefe that it will work as OP imagines it but this might depend on social environment.

Basically I want to have multiple casual girlfriends that I'm not commited too.

Unless you are dating trash I would rather expect to have multiple date series which can overlap if you like but they will end rather sooner than later and then be replaced by new date series. Why? High quality women usually want relationships, if you don't heavily lie to them, they will find out quite soon that you are not their relationship and then move on. That's how it is in my environment, might be different somewhere else.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Come from a long term relationship. Tried to date multiple women but got hooked on one.

That short relationship seems to be going/gone down in flames.

Only ever done the relationship thing. I'm 37 at the moment if that makes any difference?

I seem to do pretty well on online dating, so I'd use that for it's convence. I really want to spend a period of time having sex with different women which I see regularly.

Always done the relationship thing in the past, want to try something different. I tend to form a connection and then a relationship unfolds (all I know right now).


Basically I want to have multiple casual girlfriends that I'm not commited too. I want to be honest about casual (obviously not tell them the details),no lying or pretending to be in a relationship.

Advise, tips?

Approach irl. Utilize OLD and IG. Save commitment and LTR for women and small children. Honesty is phaggotry. Women being honest is laughable.

Don't bring it up. Just plow. Smash rotten then go get more girls. Most guys sit when they pee. The sound of their piss hitting the porcelain sounds feminine.

Grow a pair. Go get girls just cause. Having sex doesn't mean grow gyno play house and get married before a YouTube channel about game. Pull leave. Go get more girls.

 

[ubercat]

Other guys have covered the tactics nicely. Woman's attitude on this is all is fair in the first 3 months they won't care less if you were seeing other girls. Once they starts to catch the feels they will. So if you were taking care of your business casual normally means 2 to 3 months lifespan. Which means that constantly feeding your sales pipeline is necessary. You can use your plate rotation for sh1ts and giggles or if you are an LTR guy like me which obviously you are NOT right now auditioning girlfriend candidates.

The downsides of this are takes a lot of time and it sounds easy to have those rules about how often you see them. But woman don't give a fuk about your wants and will constantly reschedule.

TBH from your situation I would suggest you leave it in your pants for a few months and get busy with stabilizing your life. Shag whatever you catch from tinder etc. But don't bother with a rotation yet. And accept that if you've been through a nasty breakup you've probably got a bit of processing to do.

 

[3AM]

You are never honest for other people, you are honest for your own integrity, don't underestimate the harm you are doing to yourself by lying.

And to the topic, I like the advice here. But I personally do not beliefe that it will work as OP imagines it but this might depend on social environment.



Unless you are dating trash I would rather expect to have multiple date series which can overlap if you like but they will end rather sooner than later and then be replaced by new date series. Why? High quality women usually want relationships, if you don't heavily lie to them, they will find out quite soon that you are not their relationship and then move on. That's how it is in my environment, might be different somewhere else.

Reading your comment I believe this is taken out of context a bit. There is a distinct difference between lying and not being forthright on a topic. I am not suggesting someone lie. In fact I encourage people to do the exact opposite. When it comes to spinning plates to provide congruency a person needs to alter their belief structure to allow them to be honest, not forthright to do this well. This is a very specific detail here. So I wanted to clear this up, that NO you shouldn't be lie-ing to anyone.

Your second statement, I can understand where you are coming from and I have to disagree. You don't have to date trash. Typically, I date pretty high quality women. Although, saying this is subjective opinion in regard to their social status in todays terms. What I have found is women at all levels submit to a mans social value. If you have high enough value they submit and enter your world even if they want that ring on the finger.

Case in point, just last week I was seeing a woman that has a house in the hills where I live. She wants marriage and kids and I don't. She was waiting for me to make the choice on whether the relationship was going to continue or not. She was open to continuing at the expense of getting hurt because she was already emotionally attached to me enough to not to want me to go. All of this is based on social value that I built. Most of my dating situations are like this.

So, a man if he builds himself can be honest and congruent with his needs and desires. Just don't go out of your way to offer information that isn't needed. This doesn't mean I shy away from certain conversations that necessitate real answers. Obviously I had this conversation with the woman in question above. The key here is that this conversation about marriage and kids etc, didn't even come up until after she made me breakfast the next morning.

 

[3AM]

Yeah, I need to stop bearing my heart to women! That's for sure.

My life is chaos at the moment so my lifestyle isn't down yet. Recently had to move from a different country back to my hometown.

Waiting to get my house back. Still need steady income.

That said. I want to make it work, whilst I build my life here.

I agree with what you said about getting your life straight. Someone else below said something to this affect as well. Your success in dating and women hinges on your personal stability and frame. If these components are causing you strife that comes out when you are on a date, unless you are very seasoned in dating and can socially get through this with ease.

So, yeah, take your time and build yourself. This is always a good thing to do regardless of circumstances. Best of luck my man and be kind to yourself.

 

[HaleyBaron]

I don't date women. I pretend to date them. I bang women. I'm also too busy to be a boyfriend, nor would I ever want to be one. Guys who spend most of their day with their significant other are likely not as busy as they should be.