How to cure approach anxiety?

[skinnyguy]

I am interested in knowing how you guys would conquer approach anxiety. Let's say a guy is almost paralyzed around women and doesn't know where to start. What advice would you give? Other than dress well, learn game, it's all in your head, etc.

Whoops should say "cure" haha... -> Fixed it for yah :woo:

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

I recommend 'James Bond' aproach.

You imagine you are a secret agent and you have been given a job - get number of the woman, date and fvck her, she may be useful for future operations .You can't ? Well, you are a pvssy and not good enough to be CIA/KGB operative.How you want to be agent and fight villians if you cant pickup some random chick ? Thats the lowest task ... if you can't do it you are not good enough even to bring coffee to agents.

You have been given this trivial task and fvcking do it or get lost ... boy.So fvcuking DONT THINK, you are not suppose to think, you are to suppose get shyt done.And BTW get your balls together, she isnt suppose to reject you, if you can't seduce women you are worth nothing.

 

[DragonBlood]

"Nice day isnt it?"

convo from there.

 

[Mr Wright]

As has been mentioned it's all about your mindset. I bet you the guy could approach any woman if he had a genuine reason like she had just dropped her purse and he was returning it. I think I read something about that actually, back in the day women used to drop something like a scarf so a guy they liked would come and return it to them and they could talk. Most women love it when you approach them.

 

[Poon King]

Its hard to have approach anxiety when you are already smashing one, two or three women.

Spinning plates is not only the cure for approach anxiety... its the way of the alpha male. Any man who is focused only on ONE woman is a chump with no real options (and women can smell your desperation miles away :crackup: ).

 

[mangotot]

If you have AA it means you have a whole load of negativity about your attitude and perspective.

 

[Mike32ct]

I don't think that exposure (by itself) is necessarily that effective or efficient when it comes to fighting fears or anxiety. I think that, for many guys, exposure ALONE can actually REINFORCE the negative feelings that you are trying to beat. The viscious circle goes like this...

1. "I'm so nervous. I don't want to approach her."

2. I'll force myself to approach.

3. Heart pounds. Anxiety is felt.

4. See? Approaching sucks. Why do I bother?

I think the solution is to work from the inside out. Do a shyte load of positive affirmations for several months first to reprogram your brain to believe that approaching is fun. Then, try approaching because you will have some positive patterns to reinforce. If you start with negative ones like many of us, you will keep hitting a brick wall.

**This is just my personal opinion. It hasn't been tested yet. But I will be using it to beat my anxiety approaching and dancing.

 

[jurry]

Just start with saying hello to people.

You get so far ahead of yourself thinking about what COULD happen that you dont focus on what IS happening.

Dont try to be interesting or get her number or ask her out, just say hi and see what happens. Dont be afraid of awkward silence and small talk, small talk is quite useful in building communication with someone and seeing what theyre about.

It isnt about the content of the conversation, it is about finding out what kind of connection, if any, is there. Eye contact, silence, and all kinds of subtle things can trigger this.

 

[DragonBlood]

Its not about you. Even the girls struggle with anxiety and are big bags of emotions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgUYirBa3Mc


Change your perception and irrational fear. When approaching a girl you are actually doing her a favor.

As others have said start small, I started by asking for directions. Then random conversations. Then ask outs.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

Aproach anxiety is caused by jumping the shark, you already see all this bl0wjobs in your head.Your mind is not clear and it makes you nervous, you aproach as nice guy when in fact you want fvck her 3 times per day.

Stop expecting anything.

 

[Bingo-Player]

simply get on with it

dont ever pause just flow

 

[RangerMIke]

simply get on with it

dont ever pause just flow

This. See a girl -- approach girl. Do not waste even one second to approach a woman you are attracted to. The more you sit and think about it the more your silly brain creates rationalizations of emotional reason not to approach.

Back in the caveman days, AA was a caution and self-protection mechanism, because if you approached the wrong woman, you could find your head bashed in by the tribal Alpha male.

Recognize that your fear is irrational, you do not have to worry the Alpha male will wear your head around his neck, and do not give yourself time to think about it, just do it.

The worst that can happen is you get flustered and blow it... so what... move onto the next one. You'll get better with practice. Keep doing this and approaching women is like brushing your teeth.

 

[stevo]

I created the think it, do it mentality to rationalize all the marathon thoughts. If I think I like a girl, I go talk to her.

I don't generally do cold approach, doesn't work for me.

I go for girls with some common interest, together at a conference, or go to the same gym, or work together or something.

It also helps to know the key things you want to talk about before you approach. Like, get number or schedule first date, or just introduction. Not necessarily which words to say and how to stand and blah the blah.


Remember, she's just a girl. Not oxygen, not a volcano, not rare like the cloud, she's just a girl.

 

[Gray The Prince]

Skinnyguy, you've been around here long enough to not have this problem anymore.

Regardless, it's pretty simple. You talk to her like you would talk to anybody else, treat the HB like a person instead of a mythical unicorn princess that farts out rainbows.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

A simple technique to get going:

As you are out, going about your daily routine, just hold very brief conversations with people you might meet. Make stupid comments about things you are buying, food you're eating to men and women. Ask questions and may be directions, even if you know where you are. These things are entirely inconsequential and pose you no danger at all.

Walk by and say hello with a cheeky smile if you see a hot chick. Doesn't matter if she doesn't say it back. Chances are she'll smile and you will have made her day anyway. Again, no danger to you whatsoever. This is the mindset to be in. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

 

[mangotot]

If you have AA ultimately it means you are a negative person, you are putting blockers to what you really want to do.

 

[Heisenburger]

'Hi...you couldn't tell me where 'place' is could you?'

Simple approach, even if you know where the place is. Used it on a celeb I seen in Hollywood last week. Ended up having a 15 min conversation with him!