How To Create A Social Circle In 2025!

[Solomon]

This thread is inspired by Cola. First, I salute him because he’s been on the site since 2019, and I believe he’s now 34. It’s amazing to see his growth, etc. I have been in social circles that were college-based, post college-based etc. I’ve even introduced a couple of my friends to their wives or girlfriends. If I wasn’t involved, they would not have met or been together. I also have met friends who if it wasn't for them I wouldn't have had certain job opportunities etc. In this post, I will share the steps on how I got there. I always say, "Do what works for you; try different things." This is what has worked for me.

Intro
The male loneliness epidemic is at epic proportions. More men are lonelier than ever, and sadly, it’s getting worse. A lot of men, I’ve noticed, don’t just lack social skills with women but also lack the skills to form healthy and happy friendships. Many men, even on this site, don’t have any masculine male friends. In this thread, I will talk about how to create a social circle, how to integrate yourself into an existing social circle, and the pros and cons of social circles. I will also discuss the dynamics of social circles that are seldom talked about. This thread is not about “banging multiple women” in a social circle. If that’s what you’re looking for, you will be disappointed. If you just want to hook up with hot or regular women, let me save you some time: just find a group of 2-4 guys and pop bottles every weekend at a premier club in your city, and throw house parties. This thread is for people who value companionship and enjoy the company of others. If you just want to meet hot/pretty chicks, then the party scene is for you. I’m focused on the lifestyle aspect of it that can help you create lasting, fruitful friendships.

Part 1: Social Circles in the Seduction/RP Community
First, I’ve noticed throughout the years that in the seduction/RP community, social circles were frowned upon for the longest time. The level of disdain was significant. Even today, I see people who have a disdain for them and look down on them, which is baffling to me. Yes, social circles in the last decade have become more encouraged in these communities, but there is still a huge stigma that social circle game is for “betas” or a waste of time. You have to get out of the “game” mindset when it comes to social circles. Social circles are meant to foster relationships. Most of them are platonic, but they help you with your social skills, as well as your intimate and platonic social skills. Most men I’ve noticed who have issues meeting and dating women also have issues making friends. The best men I’ve noticed with women also tend to have great social skills. There is definitely an overlap, in my opinion. I view social circles as a “lifestyle” instead of “Game.” Does this mean you won’t meet women and game them? Of course, there will be opportunities. I enjoy the company of pretty women, so they are a byproduct of my social circle and lifestyle. Don’t view social circles or lifestyle as a means to an end. Instead, view it as another venue to meet women and, yes, men.

Part 2: What is Your Ideal Lifestyle?
What is your ideal lifestyle? Do you want to be popping bottles in the VIP section of a club every weekend and meet hot women? I’ve done it, and I can tell you it’s shallow and gets boring really fast. Also, once you hit 34+, that lifestyle is not attractive, as most of us are too busy with work, working out, etc., to live that lifestyle. Do you want a social circle that is based on your hobbies? beyond getting drunk every weekend, now you're talking!
With anything, social circles are going to take work. Here are some great venues to meet people, but remember, this will vary depending on your ideal lifestyle:

• Gym – Met some cool guys at the gym. Not only do they motivate you to lift, but also to stay healthier. I used to have a “small” circle of two guys. We’d lift together, go out to eat, watch boxing/UFC fights etc. These guys weren’t into partying; they were focused on work, working out, etc.
• Fashion Events/Shows – The ratio of women to men is 3:1. I used to love this scene because it was easy to meet women.
• Art Festivals/Shows – If you’re into art, there are tons of women who are also into it. Art festivals tend to have a fun atmosphere.
• Sports Leagues – Tennis, running, bicycling, hiking. etc.
• Church – Yes, church. If you attend a great church, you will meet some quality people. I know this one will be controversial but this pertains to my lifestyle
• Industry Conventions – Tech conventions, crypto conventions, anime conventions, etc. You can meet tons of people who share your hobbies. Anime conventions have some hotties!
• Boat/Yacht Parties
• Food Festivals-Fun vibes
• Volunteering Events/Parties – The ratio is often 3:1 women to men as well
• Living in a High-End Apartment or Condo – The number of attractive women who live in high-end apartments or condos is staggering. This has been a game-changer for me. Tons of women live in these places. These places depending on where you live have their own communities where people hang out with each other. Whether having a house party, bbq etc. Pro tip: get one with a pool or an outdoor area, or if you have a buddy who lives in one, make sure to visit during the summer. They tend to be more active and social.
• Networking Events – Conventions, meetup groups, niche events, etc.

Note: I do not recommend work as a venue to build your social circle. Things can go wrong. From personal experience, you don’t want to have a fallout that could affect your career. I remember a woman(let's call her Girl A) I used to work with was close friends with another woman(Girl B). They went on a trip to Atlanta together, and Girl A cheated on her boyfriend. The women had a falling out, and Girl A didn’t want that dirt hanging over her. While this isn’t necessarily a moral judgment, it’s an example of how things can go wrong in work-based social circles. If you do meet people at work, establish strict boundaries. Based on my experience and observing others, I personally wouldn’t recommend it. Some people may plot to use their friendship to get dirt on you to move ahead in the company. Some people are that shady.

How to Create a Social Circle
Talk to as many people as possible in these different venues. Exchange numbers or Instagram handles. Make plans to hang out with them. You will have a lot of people who flake or ghost, but you will also meet others who will want to hang out. Over time, you’ll notice that you are hanging out with more people. This is where the fun begins. Over time, you will introduce your friends to each other, or they will introduce you to theirs, and the circle will expand.

How to Integrate Yourself into an Existing Social Circle
This is easier than creating one because the social circle is already established. The main issue is getting into one. A lot of people nowadays are not open to letting a random stranger into a circle they don’t know. The key is to show yourself to be a man of value. It can be as small as bringing food or drinks to a house party or inviting your friends to a fun, free outing. Most people are wary of leeches, so don’t be the guy who always wants to drink free booze or eat free food at a party. Be the person of value. This can be in various ways, but the easiest way I’ve found is to be a social, fun person who brings a positive vibe. People wanna have fun, if you are funny and crack jokes utilize that. No one wants to be around a debbie downer.

Note2
A social circle doesn’t have to be a large group. It’s also good to have different types of social circles for different interests. For example, if you play video games with three buddies, you probably won’t meet many women. But if you’re in a social circle that enjoys going on boat rides, eating out, and throwing house parties, you’ll likely meet women. The key is to have different circles for different things.

 

[Solomon]

Pros of Social Circles

• Access to women – This depends on the type of social circle, but if you're in a mixed social circle, it typically includes both men and women.
• Higher-quality women compared to online dating
• Introductions to other social circles – Social circles will often introduce you to other circles or people, creating a domino effect.

Cons of Social Circles

• Drama Kings and Drama Queens – Understand that many people are fickle, shallow, and love drama, even men. Nothing irks me more than men who gossip about other men like females do. Many men are "chatty patties," especially in this generation. Pay attention to the ones who gossip to you about others in the group—they’re likely gossiping about you too!
• Nothing Lasts Forever – Eventually, you may have a falling out with a group or a person. This can lead to being "excommunicated," John Wick-style. When this happens, whether you're the one who is kicked out or you stop hanging out with them, don’t try to get back “in.” Walk away with self-respect. Just like when you walk away from a disrespectful woman, you should do the same with a friend or social circle. Sometimes social circles just fade due to various reasons, like people getting married, having kids, or moving away for a new career opportunity. Not all social circles will last a lifetime. Some may only be for a few years—or even just for a reason.

The Difference Between a Friend and an Associate or Acquaintance
You may be in a social circle, but not everyone is a close friend. This is a weird dynamic, but some people may be closer to others. This is especially true if you're integrating into an established social circle. Understand the difference between your real friends, associates, and acquaintances. People use the word “friend” too loosely. When you're down and out, a lot of these people wouldn't even help you if you were on fire.

In conclusion
To be the best man you want to be, having strong social skills is a must. They can help you make new friends, as well as network effectively. This isn’t easy, but then again, no one said being the best version of yourself would be. Remember, like Sam Gamgee said, “The best things in life are worth fighting for, Mr. Frodo.”
Good luck!

 

[HaleyBaron]

One thing I hate about social circles is that if someone important doesn't like you or just a random girl, others will try to side with them to not cause drama or discourse. At that point, you're usually not invited out as much anymore. Back in the day, I would have complained about it but I have learned to accept it since my value is a lot higher than the usual groups. I'm way ahead of most of these people in career, status, and fitness so why should I want validation from them?

 

[Solomon]

One thing I hate about social circles is that if someone important doesn't like you or just a random girl, others will try to side with them to not cause drama or discourse. At that point, you're usually not invited out as much anymore. Back in the day, I would have complained about it but I have learned to accept it since my value is a lot higher than the usual groups. I'm way ahead of most of these people in career, status, and fitness so why should I want validation from them?

Yup I totally understand where you're coming from, jealously arises if a a man in the group deems you a threat especially when it comes to the attention of women

I'm way ahead of most of these people in career, status, and fitness so why should I want validation from them?

I'm curious do you come of as ****y? if you're far more successful to people and confident it can easily be mistaken for being ****y.

 

[Gamisch]

I agree with this concept! We need solutions now. It's easy to keep spitting about the problems, female mature ect.

And like you say, as we get older the people we are close with will change. It's not easy to have men on exactly your level. I've seen men (including myself) get in lomg term relationships while others silently stepped out the game completely. When it comes to gaming women most men will end up alone.

Here are some things that may help some of us even more: somebody said recently that a alpha man isn't afraid to go out by himself. Yes is more convenient to be with like minded men, but even if you are with some.other players they will be poof gone and go their own way .

Secondly, real recognize real. Big change there's another man on a similar solo mission. Once you ignite your social skills you should be talkative towards anyone any how.

It's important to stop listening to that inner voice that's whispering that you are strange or odd or whatever because you are alone. Get over the shłt.

 

[Gamisch]

My previous post was more about the first step than about the dynamics of social circles, but you first gotta actually go out on the search for adventure anyway. OP made a great analysis of possible ways to enter /expand/ start a social circle.

This is way I made that thread that( cold) approach should be an important item in 2025. Not just to get women but to become more social in general. Again, everything starts in the mind.

Now it's rather normalised to distrust women as all their negative aspects are being over analysed. Unconsciously it drives a man away from even trying. Eventually this attitude becomes visible to other people especially women.

 

[Chow Mein]

Golf, my brothas

 

[zekko]

I’ve even introduced a couple of my friends to their wives or girlfriends. If I wasn’t involved, they would not have met or been together.

Well, that's nice, that must be gratifying for you. You're part of the solution (of male loneliness), not part of the problem.

When I was younger, I used to try to keep social circles more. As I get older (I'm getting up there in years), I've become more solitary - my time and energy seems more limited, and I don't necessarily want to spend it on socializing. The best social circles for me have always been based more in hobbies or similar interests - friends too, for that matter. But I agree with you that social circles are important. I think if you look at the best women, they're with guys who have social circles. Especially if they are seen as leaders of those social circles. Of course there are degrees of leaders, and overlapping social circles, who each have their own leaders, so it can get complicated. But just be cool.

 

[zekko]

Golf, my brothas

I gave up golf a good 10-15 years ago. I enjoyed it, but I decided to focus my time on some things I was better at. I think it might have been a mistake though. Oh well. I watched some YouTube videos and these guys were always looking to hook up with the cart girls - sometimes successfully. I wouldn't do that at my age, but for a guy in his 20s, it would be fun. Of course, then there are the drawbacks where if something goes wrong, you might see her out on the golf course. Life is full of risks. If you're both mature, it shouldn't be an issue.

 

[SW15]

Sports Leagues – Tennis, running, bicycling, hiking. etc.

Co-ed sports leagues are a form of weak social circle game. It can help with social circle development. However, most males end up having a disappointing experience in their co-ed sports league from the point of view of arranging dates that lead to extended relationships.

I think the best overall sports leagues for male-female mingling are soccer, kickball, and volleyball.

Tennis is not a very good sport for arranging dates for a variety of reasons. There are more males than females who are competitive recreational players. It's a sausage fest. Tennis can work for 40+ men seeking 40+ women in a country/racquet club setting, but these 40+ women are often worse players than the men and they are single moms with children living off of the ex-husband's alimony.

The Difference Between a Friend and an Associate or Acquaintance
You may be in a social circle, but not everyone is a close friend. This is a weird dynamic, but some people may be closer to others. This is especially true if you're integrating into an established social circle. Understand the difference between your real friends, associates, and acquaintances. People use the word “friend” too loosely. When you're down and out, a lot of these people wouldn't even help you if you were on fire.

In the "Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere" thread, I acknowledge the different between my friends and acquaintance offshoots that my friends know. It's important to realize that difference.

Pros of Social Circles

• Access to women – This depends on the type of social circle, but if you're in a mixed social circle, it typically includes both men and women.
• Higher-quality women compared to online dating
• Introductions to other social circles – Social circles will often introduce you to other circles or people, creating a domino effect

Good pros overall and I agree.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Yup I totally understand where you're coming from, jealously arises if a a man in the group deems you a threat especially when it comes to the attention of women



I'm curious do you come of as ****y? if you're far more successful to people and confident it can easily be mistaken for being ****y.

I do, but it's more of a playful mood and likely cause of confidence. I can tell sometimes my c*ckiness can rub people the wrong way, but my personality has gotten me so many doors open, I don't mind if some people are turned off by it. I often ask myself however if I still want to tune it down or not sometimes for niceness sake. In the end, my actions speak more than my words and the people I keep close knows I love them.

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

First of all kudos to Solomon for the work and the content that he created regarding the social circle dynamics.

I'm not much of a social circle type of guy (never have been but even less now with age) but I can tell that nowadays it appear easier and more difficult at the same time to create or join one.

Technology make it easier in terms of comms but at the same time makes it harder in terms of sustainability.

I believe the proximity factor is as important as the shared values one especially if introverts are involved.

In my opinion what is hard to make it work is create a circle where unmarried/no kids people have to deal with married/with kids, in such cases the logistics is simply impossible to handle.

 

[Chow Mein]

I gave up golf a good 10-15 years ago. I enjoyed it, but I decided to focus my time on some things I was better at. I think it might have been a mistake though. Oh well. I watched some YouTube videos and these guys were always looking to hook up with the cart girls - sometimes successfully. I wouldn't do that at my age, but for a guy in his 20s, it would be fun. Of course, then there are the drawbacks where if something goes wrong, you might see her out on the golf course. Life is full of risks. If you're both mature, it shouldn't be an issue.

should have kept with it, my friend. I just started playing again (seriously this time) and made a bunch of connections already. A lot of money to be made in golf.

I was with a girl friend golfing last weekend, the young cart girl gave me the crazy glaze to the point where my friend asked if I knew her.

5-star course, will play again

 

[CornbreadFed]

My only question is what if you are older than the age of 25-27 where it is harder to start quality social circles from scratch yet join one? I could create a social circle right now, but it would more than likely be guys that don't provide me with any net benefit.

 

[SW15]

This is a good post overall and my first response above to this was limited by time constraints.

Intro
The male loneliness epidemic is at epic proportions. More men are lonelier than ever, and sadly, it’s getting worse. A lot of men, I’ve noticed, don’t just lack social skills with women but also lack the skills to form healthy and happy friendships. Many men, even on this site, don’t have any masculine male friends. In this thread, I will talk about how to create a social circle, how to integrate yourself into an existing social circle, and the pros and cons of social circles. I will also discuss the dynamics of social circles that are seldom talked about.

This is true. Lonliness seems to be a problem that affects men more than women in Western cultures.

Women, regardless of their relationship status, always seem to have social connections. Men do not. Let's consider more extreme examples.

Incels vs. Insols

Male incels are almost always loner males with no social connections. They are social outcasts. What about women?

First off, almost no females are involuntarily celibate. It's easy for even below average looking females to find sex. The bigger problem for women is involuntary solitude (insol) status. Insol is a term created by blogger Chateau Heartiste in the early 2010s. Insol females are much different than incel males. Insol females do get sex on at least a semi-regular basis and they have better social skills than the typical incel male. The insol female typical has female friends. She is reasonably well liked by other women in most cases. She is getting laid at least semi regularly. She might be using anti-anxiety meds and/or anti-depressants due to a lack of commitment from males and she might have multiple cats, but she has no problems finding penis.

As said earlier, the female insol is able to get sex rather easily. She is unable to get a committed relationship for the most part. Occasionally, she will be in a shorter term relationship, but that's as far as it goes.

The female insol does not stand out as much because she has at least adequate social skills and is not a social outcast.

How to Create a Social Circle
Talk to as many people as possible in these different venues. Exchange numbers or Instagram handles. Make plans to hang out with them. You will have a lot of people who flake or ghost, but you will also meet others who will want to hang out. Over time, you’ll notice that you are hanging out with more people. This is where the fun begins. Over time, you will introduce your friends to each other, or they will introduce you to theirs, and the circle will expand.

This is useful.

Social circles in general take a long time to build. It's more difficult to build a social circle when a man has an immediate sexual need.

Relocations affect a man's ability to build social circles. There are a lot of adult males who reap the benefits of being fixed geographically. Their parents didn't move them during childhood, they had at least adequate social skills in the K-12 years, and they still benefit from being in the same area as younger to middle aged adults (think ages 22-44).

The more relocations that a man has in his past, the less likely it is that he has a good social circle in whatever place he lives in the present moment. Both childhood and adulthood relocations impact this.

Consider the pool of online daters in most larger American cities. Most of these people are rootless adults with many relocations in their pasts. This is true of both male and female online daters. Very few people with strong local ties in a given area end up as online daters.

Part 2: What is Your Ideal Lifestyle?
What is your ideal lifestyle? Do you want to be popping bottles in the VIP section of a club every weekend and meet hot women? I’ve done it, and I can tell you it’s shallow and gets boring really fast. Also, once you hit 34+, that lifestyle is not attractive, as most of us are too busy with work, working out, etc., to live that lifestyle. Do you want a social circle that is based on your hobbies? beyond getting drunk every weekend, now you're talking!
With anything, social circles are going to take work. Here are some great venues to meet people, but remember, this will vary depending on your ideal lifestyle:

A man's lifestyle can affect how he would go about meeting people socially.

There's been debate on seduction oriented parts of the internet about how useful hobbies are in meeting women.

Hobbies might be more useful in meeting male friends. I would make that argument.

Most men have hobbies that a lot of women aren't going to be interested in. This is even true of male hobbies that aren't nerdy/STEM type oriented hobbies.

Automotive/auto repair: Far more men are into this than women
Motorcycles: Far more men are into this than women.
Playing sports/athletic interests: There are some women into this but in most athletic related things, there are going to be more men than women. Co-ed sports leagues can often be challenging places to meet women because many tend to be sausage fests.

It's very difficult to swoop into a co-ed sports league for a season of the sport and walk away with some dates.

If a guy likes in a particular sport and does many league seasons of that sport (spanning multiple calendar years), he might be able to get either social circle-ish opportunities or a direct opportunity at the sponsor bar with a female playing on another team in the league. Same team random relationships also sometimes start, but are rare. Female teammates in a co-ed sports league might be able to give you introductions, which can be helpful.

Most co-ed sports league participants are under 35-40 and its more like under 36 for women.

Group fitness classes are more female than male. However, women are not known for being very sociable before/after group fitness classes. Most men would end up disappointed with group fitness classes for finding dates, and guys typically aren't going to make friends with the few other guys in a group fitness class, who are also there.

Guys in group fitness classes fall into the following groups...

1. Horny single, unattached men looking to improve mating outcomes
2. Boyfriends/husbands of female class attendees
3. Homosexual men

In sports/athletic activities, men might be more likely to make friends than actually find dates. In terms of finding male friends, the general gym floor and possibly a co-ed sports league are best.

A lot of men try to use the general gym floor and co-ed sports leagues for finding dating relationships and often end up disappointed.

Living in a High-End Apartment or Condo – The number of attractive women who live in high-end apartments or condos is staggering. This has been a game-changer for me. Tons of women live in these places. These places depending on where you live have their own communities where people hang out with each other. Whether having a house party, bbq etc. Pro tip: get one with a pool or an outdoor area, or if you have a buddy who lives in one, make sure to visit during the summer. They tend to be more active and social.

When I moved from average level apartments to above average level apartments, I noticed a difference in the looks of the women around the specific complex.

I don't recommend men use their apartment complexes or condo complexes for finding dates. That's the definition of crapping where you eat. It might be possible in some larger complexes (200+ units) but it's still improbable and still not the best idea.

The better play in apartment complexes is to try to make social connections that can lead to social invitations where it's more probable to meet interesting women who aren't residents of that apartment/condo complex.

In both the average and above average complexes where I have lived, I have followed @Solomon 's pro tip on the pool/outdoor area. My city is well known for having many good apartment complexes with good outdoor areas/pools.

Fashion Events/Shows – The ratio of women to men is 3:1. I used to love this scene because it was easy to meet women.

How sociable are women here? Group fitness classes have about a 2-2.5:1 women to men ratio but a poor sociability component.

I think part of the reason group fitness classes aren't sociable despite great ratios is that most of the women already have boyfriends.

However, women are rarely social with each other at group fitness classes.

I have been to many different group fitness venues and observed the same trend regardless of venue.