How to convince your scared homies that women aint that scary and they should get out of the house more?

[hoadr3]

I wouldn't try to convince them. They will just impact you with their negative energy. If they are enjoying themselves in other areas of their lives, just continue to be a good friend.

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

Now suddenly he becomes he different person. Not a smart guy who can read the room, no he becomes a stuttering akward guy who asks strange questions and makes strange non attractive statements.

As if he's rather talking to them because of me than with the intention of getting her number or even making a connection for a later moment.

But it becomes a chicken /egg problem. Without practice your social skills can't evolve. I get what your saying though...

I think thats the first issue even before the social skills or the experience.

Those guys simply dont see a reason or a reward in interacting with those women wheter it's their libido gone due to porno or some self defence psychological cope that prevents them to make a move cause they see those girls above their reach.

It was basically just a chore to them just like when you're 12 and wanna play with videogames while your mother forces you to play football with the other kids.

You just run toward the ball with no intention to grab it or interact with the game.

 

[corrector]

I think thats the first issue even before the social skills or the experience.

Those guys simply dont see a reason or a reward in interacting with those women wheter it's their libido gone due to porno or some self defence psychological cope that prevents them to make a move cause they see those girls above their reach.

It was basically just a chore to them just like when you're 12 and wanna play with videogames while your mother forces you to play football with the other kids.

You just run toward the ball with no intention to grab it or interact with the game.

Is it really a cope though?

 

[corrector]

Absolutely .

E.g : we are hanging out at a secretive spot, smoking and bbq. Out of nowhere two fairly hot women enter our spot. They're smoking some as well..so I start a convo with them, even though they're somewhat reluctant to talk to us..that's oke.

Now suddenly he becomes he different person. Not a smart guy who can read the room, no he becomes a stuttering akward guy who asks strange questions and makes strange non attractive statements.

As if he's rather talking to them because of me than with the intention of getting her number or even making a connection for a later moment.

But it becomes a chicken /egg problem. Without practice your social skills can't evolve. I get what your saying though...

No, they are hot women. Its not because of you. Brain fog comes in when talking to women. Its usually after the girl is gone then you get this lucid 20/20 hindsight of how it should have went sans the brain fog.

 

[Gamisch]

No, they are hot women. Its not because of you. Brain fog comes in when talking to women. Its usually after the girl is gone then you get this lucid 20/20 hindsight of how it should have went sans the brain fog.

I kinda get that .

I think thats the first issue even before the social skills or the experience.

Those guys simply dont see a reason or a reward in interacting with those women wheter it's their libido gone due to porno or some self defence psychological cope that prevents them to make a move cause they see those girls above their reach.

It was basically just a chore to them just like when you're 12 and wanna play with videogames while your mother forces you to play football with the other kids.

You just run toward the ball with no intention to grab it or interact with the game.

One thing I've noticed over the years was that men dont like to talk about women amongst eachother.

When i grew up me and my cousins, brothers and friends used to chase girls, brag about victories and push one another when things got stale. We were 14-20 perhaps.

Left my hometown and ofcourse met new people over the years. But the bragging was basically over. Every now and then I've met a like minded man...but it's rare.

Nowadays the goal post moved from being discrete about sex to being discrete about dating, women everything.

We have legal prostitution here so every man can hae a secret life on the side that he ain't proud of...

I kinda get what @corrector says about brain fogg. Even more reason for them to mingle more with the people.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I guess this video relates to this topic. Are Ops friends just lazy or people that didn’t draw the correct hand?

 

[Bokanovsky]

Trying to convince some incel homies that they're one of a kind, and that its the PERFECT era to be out there and chase women.

Despite this I keep sensing this feeling of being inferior and a defeatist mindset.

There's probably no one size fits all solution. Just me ranting.

The only way for a someone to break the cycle of hopelessness is to get ANGRY. When it's directed towards the right channel, anger is the strongest motivator known to man. But anger can also be destructive and counterproductive if it turns to jealousy or hate. It's a double-edged sword.

Your buddies have to get angry - but not at women, more successful men or society at large. They have not get angry at themselves, for they are ultimately reasonable for their lot in life.

 

[corrector]

The cause of the brain fog, in my own theory, is there is a mental speed processing glitch that makes for nerve friction. I experimented with pheromones back in 2011 in earnest and dabbled again in 2013 with it. I noticed when I felt the mind slowed down I felt more aware and in synch to a point I remembered smiling at a lady and she smiling back together and making a nice bubble. This was completely out if character. When you are used to high mental speed activity like video games, action movies, wtx.... you tend to be on overdrive Socializing with women is a much slower and harder mental wavelenfth to get if you are not used to it. Pheromones are the best bet for chemical influenced mind processing to be more social.

 

[Gamisch]

I guess this video relates to this topic. Are Ops friends just lazy or people that didn’t draw the correct hand?

He started off ok but ar the end he became extremely negative and dividing, assuming that people shyte on incels for fun.

There's a middle ground. A place where the more successful one tries to lift up the others. Because a Have might've been a Have-not at some point, so he knows what's it like . He just managed to "crack the code" and make a change and thus set a blueprint for other to follow ,(or use as inspiration).

So the question that remains is why ,if we asume an incel is NOT happy and he does NOT want to be an incel, then why won't he seek and follow advice? Especially when it's someone close to them? But that shouldn't even matter.

Something as "simple " as the gym can make a huge impact on a man's life. Or finances. Just two obvious things. Learning to embrace who you are is another thing.

I don't like that bs about God dealt them the worst hand. There are many,many improvements a man can make to get closer to what he wants.

 

[corrector]

Interestingly, this Darth Vadar scene did the trick to motivate the guy to ask a girl out. In this classic movie, the protagonist had to help his incel father meet his mother otherwise he would never be born and cease to exist.

Imagine that you went back in time and if you don't motivate your friends otherwise you'll never be born and cease to exit. Perhaps some ideas will come to your mind as to how to motivate them. Would you say "geez, it's a wonder I was ever born?" in such a scenario as in the scene above?

 

[Epicwinguy]

Not scary, just very complex

 

[CornbreadFed]

Something as "simple " as the gym can make a huge impact on a man's life. Or finances. Just two obvious things. Learning to embrace who you are is another thing.

I don't like that bs about God dealt them the worst hand. There are many,many improvements a man can make to get closer to what he wants

Maybe for some people, but I know it was a more complicated process for me

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

Is it really a cope though?

No idea, I'm already mentally insane myself to think about even trying to fix other unhinged ones.

I kinda get that .

One thing I've noticed over the years was that men dont like to talk about women amongst eachother.

When i grew up me and my cousins, brothers and friends used to chase girls, brag about victories and push one another when things got stale. We were 14-20 perhaps.

Left my hometown and ofcourse met new people over the years. But the bragging was basically over. Every now and then I've met a like minded man...but it's rare.

Nowadays the goal post moved from being discrete about sex to being discrete about dating, women everything.

We have legal prostitution here so every man can hae a secret life on the side that he ain't proud of...

I kinda get what @corrector says about brain fogg. Even more reason for them to mingle more with the people.

Totally understand what you're talking about, can relate.

I think with my friends, women have less than 10% of the attention during conversations.

Often times it's just to reassure each other that we still have some contact with reality.

I personally would rather avoid talking about women with my married friends, neither of us want actually.

Regarding prostitutions I have friends who often rely on it for many reasons and the more we get older the more it sounds a good idea, I would do it myself if I was a sex driven guy and not a pleasure of the hunt type.

 

[Gamisch]

Maybe for some people, but I know it was a more complicated process for me

Ofcourse it's more complicated. But these are two fundamental things where any man can build on.

Every new woman will meet the version of you TODAY that you've created yesterday. Man drown in self pity due shyte that happened in their youth, like being bullied or rejected. I understand that it shapes a man's mind and life , but at some point you got to let go of the past .

You may decide today that new women will meet a dude with big arms, a sixpack and a pocket full of cash. Might take some time obviously...

The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step...

 

[Epicenter]

Ofcourse it's more complicated. But these are two fundamental things where any man can build on.

Every new woman will meet the version of you TODAY that you've created yesterday. Man drown in self pity due shyte that happened in their youth, like being bullied or rejected. I understand that it shapes a man's mind and life , but at some point you got to let go of the past .

You may decide today that new women will meet a dude with big arms, a sixpack and a pocket full of cash. Might take some time obviously...

The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step...

If you do not have a natural advantage girls are a pain in the ass. To get them is a lot of work and once one gets her it is even more work. If one thinks with the brain then women are overrated. If you think with your ding dong you will do what it takes. So leave people to their destiny. If you want to to good feed starving children or something like that.

A lot of people are motivated my FOMO or jealousy.

 

[corrector]

Oke bro. Its always good to take care of your family , but never forget to take care of yourself too.

Brothel as in, hookers? Why didn't you hit one on your way out?

Passed by the place twice again today. This time I had the money in hand and the door leading up to the place was open. Could see the blue staircase leading up to their apartment. There online ad said there was a 23 year old Cuban girl working there (ie but they probably have other girls working in that set-up where you just go upstairs and select one of them then shell the dough).

I didn't get out of my car in that parkinglot, but took down information for seniors care from a building on the opposite side of the lot to see if this will be hlepful to mom and then drove off back home and put the money back into the bank at a later time.

That location is a 17 minute walk from my house (checked on google maps). Well, at least I'm alright!

Also did a couple of solid bike rides earlier this week. One near the lake and on parallel to a river. I think there is a nice thing going on with me and exercising in nature and taking care of my mom/folks, and don't want to ruin things. You can't just casually do something like that and expect life to go on as normal afterwards. But I'd probably want to work on getting the equipment working before going there otherwise it will just be an expensive cuddle and dance session. I'm looking at some youtube videos of a urologist who is recommending certain things that can help the equipment. But, if you are as hungry as I am, then even a cuddle/dance session and kissing her body, feeling her hair would be worth it. Can't help but feeling disappointed on some level I didn't go through with it, but I think its for the best for now.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Getting them out of the house isn’t the problem for me. I’m not sure it’s even fear that’s the issue. It’s more as if I said ‘ok. well you all just start levitating.’. Simply incomprehensible.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Trying to convince some incel homies that they're one of a kind, and that its the PERFECT era to be out there and chase women.

Despite this I keep sensing this feeling of being inferior and a defeatist mindset.

There's probably no one size fits all solution. Just me ranting.

Like one guy said; lead by example.

Not only that but practice what you preach, in general.

Reminds me of when all of these warmongers talk about how we (United States) should lay out a preemptive strike against North Korea or Russia.

You know what I tell them?

Lead the charge.

 

[Murk]

I don't have any "housebound homies" I cut those off in my 20s.

However, my close friends always run situations/scenarios by me and get my help with text game. I only have 1 friend who can fvck as he pleases, the world has done a number on most of them.

For someone that does so well, I should have been married with kids by now if not for my damaged nature and upbringing. It's mainly my desire to never settle, I could have been married twice already.

To answer you directly OP, you distance yourself and advise these men from afar, lest it rub off on you. Misery loves company.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Like one guy said; lead by example.
Lead the charge.

Still doesn’t work. We’ve been out somewhere & I’ll leave the group and start talking to a girl. But they’ll not follow my lead.

I think one problem is they’ve been with me when women have approached me. So it’s likely they think that’s the norm Whereas for these guys, that ain’t gonna happen. There’re going to have to put in the work.

i’m not great at Game. But from what little I’ve seen of them. They’re atrocious. For guys like this. Being aggressive and having good game are what’s going to lead to success. And they should looksmax (but that’s a long term strategy).