How to close the deal with a college classmate?

[Enigma412]

That sucks. I hope I haven't reached that point.

What do you think about her not coming to class on Thursday? She obviously could have been sick (we were walking in the rain and she did not have anything on to protect her head) but it disturbs me, nonetheless. Perhaps she was upset and didn't want to see me or didn't want to be forced to act regarding me or or has NEXT'ed me. The class after I initially talked to her she turned around and stared at me at least three times (I caught her 3x). The lack of such a reaction to this is not a good sign but I will still ask her out since I have nothing to lose and plenty to gain.

 

[uniassign]

Dude,

Waiting for the end of semester to ask a chick out is like trying to pull chicks outside the club when the club closes. They know why you are hanging outside the exam room, they know you are trying to talk to them to ask them out.

IME the best way to PU chicks in your classes is:

1. spot the hotties on the first class,

2. sit next to them and proceed to chat them up before class. Just assume that you know them from before;

3. get into their study group,

4. continue to demonstrate your personality for about 3 weeks, whilst building attraction and rapport,

5. start baiting them with activities - like coffees/lunches after class,

6. make your move BEFORE the middle of the semester by taking them out at night.

Next time, don't wait until the end of semester.

 

[blue17]

I know this story all too well Enigma, I'll be honest and say that the chances prolly aren't too good. I think if you had asked about a month ago she would've said yes, but now i'm not so sure.

 

[Enigma412]

You are right and that is a great gameplan. Believe me, I will not make this mistake again. This site has taught me a ton.

 

[Enigma412]

Originally posted by blue17
I know this story all too well Enigma, I'll be honest and say that the chances prolly aren't too good. I think if you had asked about a month ago she would've said yes, but now i'm not so sure.

I'll give it a shot. If I fail I will at least learn some lessons for the future. Also, it will be her loss.

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by Enigma412
I'll give it a shot. If I fail I will at least learn some lessons for the future. Also, it will be her loss.

good, now u finally see the big picture.

i didnt see what happened to me as a loss, as i wasnt really interested in her anyway. But i see it as practice. and learning from mistakes.

but anyway dont let my outcome cloud your judgement. dont think about it, just do it when the time comes

 

[Enigma412]

Tomorrow is showtime. One final question, should I merely ask for her number or directly ask her out?

 

[ScrewIt]

you know what you have to do, c'mon quit lying to yourself.

asking for the # is the same as asking her out.

"um hey can i get your #? so we can do something sometime?"
i think u know the answer to that

do this -
"i'm going ____ this (day), you should join me.
"lets go get coffee on (day) at (time maybe).

THEN if she agrees...
"alright let me get your #"

anyway tahts something to think about. do a little fluff talk before you go in for hte close. asking out of the blue will seem awkward.

 

[Matt Rogers]

First of all just because she misses a day of school doesn't mean she is somehow trying to avoid you. She never sees you and probably thinks you are a little weird as you have ignored her for so long.

I wasted far too much time looking for signs and analysing her every action. If you like her just ask her out. Use Puerto Rico's line as it goes someway to explaining your bizarre behaviour.

Oh and if you want to be a challenge here is the way to do it.
Ask her out as soon as you have established some degree of rapport with her. Then say hi whenever you see her but don't act clingy and engage in long conversations. Be the first to say goodbye. Phone her up for dates or arrange in person but only have dates around once a week and don't spend too much time with her outside of dates. Don't be overly emotional and spill out how you feel about her, just act cool and breezy. Treat her like a cool girl but someone who you are not going out of your way to chase.

If you ignore her then it is obvious you are either playing games, shy or just plain rude and not interested. Neither create a good impression.

 

[uniassign]

Ask her out direct. At least you know whether she is interested straight away, rather than getting her number and then having to wait to find out you are rejected/accepted.

 

[Enigma412]

Here is the latest update in this bizzare saga. I had to talk to another classmate so she left class a few seconds prior to me but I caught up to her in about 10 seconds. I made a joke, she laughed. I was seeking to make brief fluff talk before asking her. I got three questions in and then she suddenly went into another room and said "See you later." WTF happened? She is smart enough to know what I was doing. Was it a nice way of her faxing her lack of interest in me? Or is she just a very socially inept AFC?

I can ask her out to lunch tomorrow and she likely will accept. At minimum, I am in the LJBF zone. However, I am not interested in being her friend. If her abrupt disspearing act on Thursday was a message of a lack of interest I will accept it and not ask her out tomorrow. If there is a glimmer of hope that she was merely acting flaky I will ask her out because I have nothing to lose and I really like her. She does laugh at anything I say that is remotely funny. Isn't that allegedly a sign of high interest?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

That is what you get for waiting until the last second to ask her out when you had 3 months to do so! Ask her bluntly - "Would you like to do something during the semester break""

You were trying to build rapport in a few seconds and seemed rushed - not very smooth - what was her intent to leave abruptly - you decide if it is worth giving it another attempt - if you still have time!

 

[Enigma412]

Ask her bluntly - "Would you like to do something during the semester break""

That isn't possible since I will go home for the break and I live 3 hours from where she lives. Then I will be in Washington.

what was her intent to leave abruptly

I have no idea. That is what made it worse. She didn't even try to explain it. She just said "See you later." It wasn't a class of hers that she went to but she may have had to give a paper or talk to a friend in that class, perhaps even her boyfriend. At any rate, she could have stopped and finished the conversation.

If there is a glimmer of hope I will give it a shot but if what she did was a clear signal of a lack of interest I will not embarass myself and ask her to lunch or something and get shot down.

What is your gut feeling regarding what she did on Thursday? Have you, evidently a real DJ, ever experienced anything like that?

You are right about me waiting too long. I will come out of the box strong next semester. I will use my 2 weeks in Washington as practice. There I will be stuck with a bunch of people who know very few people there and are similar in many respects. Everyone will be looking to make friends there and I will try to make a ton of friends and get a bunch of chicks there.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

If you refer to a "DJ" as a man then I am that!

Yes, if she was interested I would think she would have stayed longer, however your approach was so abrupt that this probably startled her and thus she left abruptly! I would talk to her next semester and 'feel' her out to check for signs of interest - if she leaves you with your mouth open again then don't pursue her!!

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
That is what you get for waiting until the last second to ask her out when you had 3 months to do so! Ask her bluntly - "Would you like to do something during the semester break""

You were trying to build rapport in a few seconds and seemed rushed - not very smooth - what was her intent to leave abruptly - you decide if it is worth giving it another attempt - if you still have time!

not only rushed, it was also obvious to her that he wanted soemthing from her, since it is afterall the last week of class.

look, just cut the crap, no jokes, no fluff talk and go straight for the kill. girls will dig a guy if they're straight to the point instead of beating aroudn the bush.

"hey im enigma, you seem like an interesting person and i'd like to get to know you better, lets go for some coffee or lunch @ (location) on (date) at (time).

or

"hey how's it going (pat her on the shoulder for some kino), i know this is awkward being the last day and all, but you seem like an interesting person and i was hoping we could get some coffee/lunch on (day).

 

[Enigma412]

I doubt I will ever see her again after the semester. If I do, it will only be once or twice which is not enough to feel her out.

She did look my way at least 3 times in the first class after I first talked to her, I did catch her looking my way at the end of class a few times (very odd since I sat way in the back while she was toward the front and obviously no one looks to the back after class. Walls aren't attractive.), she turned around to look at me when I spoke in class--something she never does when anyone else speaks, and when she left class after the last exam she looked at me--at the last moment (usually a sign of interest but also shyness). When I talked to her she seemed curious and laughed at anything remotely funny but acted flaky in several respects. What is going on here? Perhaps she is interested but has a boyfriend or perhaps she is just interested in having her ego stroke. Suspicion of the latter is why I will not ask her out unless there is a chance that you would accept. Unless there is a rational explanation for what she did, I will actually leave in a manner that would indirectly say "FU" to her.

your approach was so abrupt that this probably startled her and thus she left abruptly!

I never looked at it that way. Why would someone be startled by someone somewhat familiar starting a conversation with them?

 

[Enigma412]

it was also obvious to her that he wanted soemthing from her, since it is afterall the last week of class.

LOL. If I had balls a few weeks ago I would have acted earlier. You make a very good point. She knows what I am doing and why I am doing it. I'm not asking her out because I like her taste in clothes or something.

"hey how's it going (pat her on the shoulder for some kino), i know this is awkward being the last day and all, but you seem like an interesting person and i was hoping we could get some coffee/lunch on (day).

Tomorrow is my only shot. I can ask her to go out for lunch with me after the exam (I will finish before her. I will act as if I am checking my answers and leave while she is leaving). After that, perhaps would could hang out at my dorm or watch a movie but tomorrow is the only day I have for 5 weeks.

I feel like a beggar doing all this but like someone here said, in order to get action you must take action.

 

[ScrewIt]

sounds to me like she's shy. All this time you were beating aroudn the bush and you had her confused, as you never asked her out. so maybe now she thinks you arent interested, so she's acting disinterested in you.

LOOK dude, if u really wanna know, just ask her

 

[Enigma412]

Quick question, based on what I will quote below what is her interest level, if any exists, in me, in your expert opinions?

She did look my way at least 3 times in the first class after I first talked to her, I did catch her looking my way at the end of class a few times (very odd since I sat way in the back while she was toward the front and obviously no one looks to the back after class. Walls aren't attractive.), she turned around to look at me when I spoke in class--something she never does when anyone else speaks, and when she left class after the last exam she looked at me--at the last moment (usually a sign of interest but also shyness). When I talked to her she seemed curious and laughed at anything remotely funny

 

[Enigma412]

ScrewIt, I will do what you said. I have nothing to lose and hopefully you guys are right about her being confused, startled, etc. and she is interested in me. If she accepts and asks me why it took my 90 years to ask her should I be honest and tell her how my interest in her grew and was not sky-high at first or say that I just lacked the courage to do so. Would saying that initially I lacked high interest be an insult, in a way, since it says that I once didn't consider hot which suggests that her natural beauty is not that great.