How to change while staying myself?

[Pozitron]

Truly nice journey. Keep it up and don't rest.
Remember that it will never be a point when you don't have to improve anymore cause it's ok. That's why the journey it's important and not the destination.
You don't want to control everything or to be perfect (even though society tells you that).
You want to EVOLVE and enjoy your journey ( with all the good and bad) because it's your life.
You want to stay NATURAL and have a light and fun attitude all the time, but you must take CONTROL over your life, over your destiny, focus on what you can control while not giving too much importance to what you can't and MAKE YOUR LIFE AS YOU WANT IT TO BE.
The funny thing is that when you're loving yourself ( because you've reached goals , found out more about yourself trough action // journey) and when you have a light and fun attitude, GIVING VALUE and not wanting anything back things start to happen.
No guts, no glory.
You can live your life in fear, but you don't get a second chance to it.
Rejection is always better than regret( I remember when I dwelled upon one girl last summer for like 1 month just because I regretted not doing anything even though she showed interest - did kino and all that stuff)
It's about momentum. Starting from 0 the 1st km is hard ( you know that), but then you just get momentum and it becomes easier to stay like that and even go further.
"Life is a mystery. Don't waste time trying to figure it out." I like this one, but get it the right way.
Know that nothing stays the same.
Enjoy the ride. It's your life, man.
You must know what you want and make it happen.
Just do it and learn from your mistakes and very important adapt.

Have a great journey!

 

[Pozitron]

Just remember that you do have to take action before you gain the confidence to do it. Just this will make you improve much faster.

I've heard you saying that before. Can you explain more? What do you mean by that? It may sound awkward but I wanna get it because I feel it's important.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I've heard you saying that before. Can you explain more? What do you mean by that? It may sound awkward but I wanna get it because I feel it's important.

I'll show you what I mean. It might become more obvious to you if you read the first ~100 pages of Awaken the Giant Within.

Let's say you wanna approach this girl, but you're terrified. You think that you'll wait untill you're confident enough. That confidence isn't just gonna come to you overnight. You might get more confident in your approach if you approach other people. You might get some momentum, and feel more confident another day, but you will never be 100% sure of your actions before you've already done it.

I feel that was a bad example.
Think about bungee jumping. You dont neccessarily have the confidence to do it, but you still do it. (Of course there is some underlying confidence there, but you're pushing yourself over the edge. It's not an automatic response.)

 

[Pozitron]

So you just do it the first time and learn from it so that when you'll do it next time you'll have confidence?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

So you just do it the first time and learn from it so that when you'll do it next time you'll have confidence?

Try it.

 

[Pozitron]

I'll do.
If I would be honest with myself I would say I'm afraid mostly of things I have never done before. If I apply - action before confidence- I will probabily fail the first time, but I fell that in my case things will flow much better after I have some refference.
What do you think? Is this the solution to the first part?

 

[GuyWithAProblem]

I plan on meeting her tomorrow (I can't call her now, as my phone is broken now, but I'm getting new one this afternoon) and of course I want to get some physical contact and a kiss, but I'm afraid if I don't manage to do it tomorrow I'll be forever stuck in the friendzone.

She says that she likes when she has eye contact with person she talks with, but last time when I talked with her she mostly looked at people who passed by. So I will say something like "you know what, now I DEMAND to have eye contact with you!" and then I'll say "and what about THAT kind of contact?" and then I will put my arm around her. That's how I plan to do it.

 

[Pozitron]

Just make it feel natural ( be authentic while doing it) and have humor if you screw it up. That's it. That's how you learn.

 

[GuyWithAProblem]

So, I texted her and asked if she would like to go out with me today and she replied that she already has the whole week organized.

Eh, whatever.

 

[GuyWithAProblem]

Hey, my life was pretty static lately. It's cool to slack off, listen to funky music all day and get drunk with friends on evenings, but it's not like I accomplish anything by doing this.

I started running few days ago and it's not really as painful as it used to be. I told you about this girl that never had time for me and she told me that she loves to run. I wonder if I could just call her and ask her if she wants to run with me... That could be a great idea if I was a better runner than I am... I don't want to embarass myself in front of her! But maybe that's a good idea anyway, I don't know!

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Sounds like a good idea.

But hey, how often do you drink?

 

[GuyWithAProblem]

Oh ****, still stuck in the same place.

I have this absurdly long summer vacation and I'm not sure what to do with it. I do sports, I have my hobbies (I wrote a pretty decent short story recently) and my buddies and I even have buddies who share my musical hobbies (freestyling in garage is always great fun), but the problem is that just don't have my options right now. You know, I live in small town where everybody knows me and I have no money. So it's basically the same thing every day and when it comes to girls, well, they are either already taken or I have made a fool of myself in front of them too many times.

There's this girl for which I probably have what you call "oneitis" and it's funny because I don't even see her much. She's cute and nice and I think I could get her IF ONLY SHE HAD SOME TIME FOR ME. So I call her few times a week and she's always busy.

But what the hell, what I really need is a job. I mean, when it comes to lack of girls, I at least know one handy way of easing the pain (you KNOW what I mean), but lack of money is just the worst. I also think it kills my chances of getting any girl, because what girl wants a boy that can't even take her to cinema? It sucks.

I don't want to just spend my longest summer vacation waiting for something to happen and I don't want to just wait until I move to bigger city. But now I feel that I need to whine to someone and it's better to whine to strangers on internet than to tire my friends with it .

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Just go outside.