How to caliberate when talking to women based on how they view me

[mrmuscles2]

A little about me, iam a college student, average build (look kinda muscly but no abs or chest muscles , just normal average build) i put some serious effort into eating and doing cardion 4-5 hours a week plus a couple days of lifting but have no interest in body building ...iam also 6'1 , and you know the usual smart, cool, laid back, funny ....etc, yeah i got qualities that women like and they have made it known iam an entertaining guy and can be confident af at times and pretty careless .

I used to have success with women in the past, mainly with coworkers, then when i enrolled in university i started having succeess with college chicks, getting sex was still an issue since all the girls i ever went out with wanted something serious right after getting to second base despite me never ever implying that and treating them with enough carelessness it was obvious iam not into something serious .

now a couple years later iam still attracting girls, even more than before, looks, stares, sometimes chicks make it super easy to talk to them or they flat out talk to me( doesnt happen often) and iam easy to talk to, approachable and the kind of guy who can carry a convo, respect the chick if i dont know her well but dont mind throwing in some teasing and flirting after getting to know her a little bit.

But despite all that i have been having a serious problem with girls, they show me they like me, we talk, once,twice, then i ask her to hang out or something but the thing is suddenly its not working for me ... girls used to always say yes and be so happy about going out but now i feel whenever i ask a girl out she dances around the question and never gives a straight answer or always has an excuse... problem is, they still wanna talk to me and sit with me in college and still show high levels of interests .... iam not getting this, they act like they like me yet when asked out i never get an answer, iam not even giving them that much attention so its not like they are in for the attention ... any ideas ? should i be bolder ? is it a caliberation issue, should i know my worth and act accordingly ?

 

[RangerMIke]

I really don't know what 'hanging out is" but I'm 50 so excuse my ignorance. I hear younger guys saying this all the time. My advice is make real dates, with times and places, and if the chick is confused about what is happening because most young women today don't know how to respond to an actual date request, because young people just 'hang out'... just tell her to show up looking hot and not worry about anything else.

Don't talk to them unless you are on a DATE. If they start blabbing just say, "Hey I would love to catch up, but I'm on my way to XYZ... how about we meet up at ABC, at a DATE and TIME"... then shut the fvck up and listen to what she says.... if anything comes out of her mouth other than "Okay" or an offer of a different time because she's busy, then just whip her from your mind and move on to the next one, because you are wasting you time.

Get out of the habit of 'hanging out' with chicks unless there is a possibility for sex... it screws up your frame and gets her to think you are just a gay male girlfriend.

 

[mrmuscles2]

I really don't know what 'hanging out is" but I'm 50 so excuse my ignorance. I hear younger guys saying this all the time. My advice is make real dates, with times and places, and if the chick is confused about what is happening because most young women today don't know how to respond to an actual date request, because young people just 'hang out'... just tell her to show up looking hot and not worry about anything else.

Don't talk to them unless you are on a DATE. If they start blabbing just say, "Hey I would love to catch up, but I'm on my way to XYZ... how about we meet up at ABC, at a DATE and TIME"... then shut the fvck up and listen to what she says.... if anything comes out of her mouth other than "Okay" or an offer of a different time because she's busy, then just whip her from your mind and move on to the next one, because you are wasting you time.

Get out of the habit of 'hanging out' with chicks unless there is a possibility for sex... it screws up your frame and gets her to think you are just a gay male girlfriend.

hang out is basically a date, i dont exactly tell them to hang out , iam a bit more straight forward, the last chick i talked to i told her i will be at the mall grabbing a bite at 2, and that she should join me to have some fun , she said yes, next day she messages me saying shes sorry and she overslept cause she was studying all night for an exam, i see her sometimes and talk to her but iam done messaging or investing in her, she seems quite interested in me but ... yeah, if there is not possibility for sex or gf/bf thing ( if i want her to be my gf) then why waste my time

 

[Spidah]

This is not an abundance mindset.

You can't be whipped before you even get a woman's number.

NEEDING NOTHING ATTRACTS EVERYTHING.

 

[mrmuscles2]

This is not an abundance mindset.

You can't be whipped before you even get a woman's number.

NEEDING NOTHING ATTRACTS EVERYTHING.

what you mean ?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

hang out is basically a date, i dont exactly tell them to hang out , iam a bit more straight forward, the last chick i talked to i told her i will be at the mall grabbing a bite at 2, and that she should join me to have some fun , she said yes, next day she messages me saying shes sorry and she overslept cause she was studying all night for an exam, i see her sometimes and talk to her but iam done messaging or investing in her, she seems quite interested in me but ... yeah, if there is not possibility for sex or gf/bf thing ( if i want her to be my gf) then why waste my time

Everything RangerMike said still applies.

Let me expand and add a couple things.

Don't ever do lunch dates. Do dates in the evening where you have the opportunity to build romance and create an opportunity where sex COULD happen. It's not going to happen in a mall food court at lunch, I can promise you that.

Aside from the example in your last post, you don't say how you are asking them out. My advice: You be firm and direct and ensure the way you look at them and tease them tells them that you are interested in them sexually, not just as friends. A lot of guys are too platonic acting because they think it's "respectful". You might be doing this. Touch her elbow when she's laughing at a joke. Maybe just once in your conversation, say something at least a little dirty - it could be about her, or it could be just dirty in general.

You ask for what you want, very plainly, and you shut up and let them answer, just like Mike said. If they are stumbling/stuttering, stay quiet. Anything other than compliance with your ask means they are either not interested or they are sh*t testing you. You immediately, and politely withdraw the offer and say you have to get going but it was nice chatting. When you see her again, be cordial and polite, but also too busy to sit there and listen to her babble about whatever. You aren't her girlfriend and you won't let her treat you like one.

 

[sph21]

“Judge by actions, not by words.”

A girl who is interested in meeting with you will make her intention clear to you. She won't be playing hard to get. If she can't even make time for you then her IL is low.

the last chick i talked to i told her i will be at the mall grabbing a bite at 2, and that she should join me to have some fun , she said yes, next day she messages me saying shes sorry and she overslept cause she was studying all night for an exam

Your date idea is lame. It's boring. Why would she leave her home and do something boring with you when she can go out with her girl friends to do something wild together?

Be bold and ask her to do action date. Asking for action date communicates to her that you don't want to be just a friend.

If all you can offer is talking with her, then you're no different than her girl friends. What do girls do when they meet? They talk and talk about everything for hours. They pour their hearts out. I'm sure that you don't want to act like a girl. So, don't do what girls do.

 

[Spidah]

what you mean ?

I mean the game is different now.

These days women are not into smooth guys. They are into a-holes. Guys who don't care if the woman likes them or not.

I've had to change my game too. I used to be smooth and flirty and get plates that way. Then in the past year or so my flake rate went up. I adjusted by being more of an a-hole and my flake rate dropped.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I mean the game is different now.

These days women are not into smooth guys. They are into a-holes. Guys who don't care if the woman likes them or not.

I've had to change my game too. I used to be smooth and flirty and get plates that way. Then in the past year or so my flake rate went up. I adjusted by being more of an a-hole and my flake rate dropped.

How long has it changed like that and what part of the country are you?

 

[Spidah]

How long has it changed like that and what part of the country are you?

Northeast.

I noticed maybe in the last 8 months to a year. I started getting and keeping more plates by being more of an a-hole. I'm not talking about being mean to girls or anything like that. Just being more selfish. Like I don't really consider what women want out of me. I put myself first and don't make these plates a priority. Its about whatever is convenient for me and if the girl can't get with it.. f*ck her.

Abundance man.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Northeast.

I noticed maybe in the last 8 months to a year. I started getting and keeping more plates by being more of an a-hole. I'm not talking about being mean to girls or anything like that. Just being more selfish. Like I don't really consider what women want out of me. I put myself first and don't make these plates a priority. Its about whatever is convenient for me and if the girl can't get with it.. f*ck her.

Abundance man.

Their attracted when your into yourself and not bothered about them. Then they try to "steal" your attention.

 

[The Duke]

Everything RangerMike said still applies.

Let me expand and add a couple things.

Don't ever do lunch dates. Do dates in the evening where you have the opportunity to build romance and create an opportunity where sex COULD happen. It's not going to happen in a mall food court at lunch, I can promise you that.

In regards to the lunch dates I had a convo yesterday with my female cousin who goes on a lot of lunch dates. She says she rarely gets excited about the guys. So I asked her if she was more likely to get excited about a guy she met for drinks at night. And of course you know what the answer was. She was clueless as to why this is. Her reason for requesting lunch dates is so she has a good excuse to head back to work when the hour is up.