How to build a captivating and interesting life?

[Toddy]

As Rich Cooper says, “you can do anything to woman but bore her”

As I start my unplugging process, and wanting women to enter my frame, I want to make sure I’m interesting. What kind of stuff should I be doing?

Bit of background, late 40’s aim to divorced/separated in the next couple of years so gives me time to build and plan. I’ve always gone to the gym, I’ve started jui Jitsu. I don’t drink so want to avoid pub nights. I play golf, started to read more.

Just would like to know what hobbies/interests I should start pursuing that would make me more interesting?

I’m UK based if that has any bearing.

 

[Plinco]

The first thing you have to do is know exactly what you want out of life. The second thing to understand that being interesting is going to take a lot of hard work.

 

[Billtx49]

How to have a very interesting life ?
Do things that many other men don’t or won’t do and have a higher commitment level doing anything that not many other men will match.

 

[RazorRambo24]

I wouldn't say you force it.. Trying to do too much at once never works.. Change happens by doing 10% more every week or so.

What makes you interesting is not what you start doing, but who you hang around.. That will have the biggest impact on you and your personality outwardly. When girls found me the most interesting, i was around a bunch guys who smoked tons of weed, partied alot, hustled, sold drugs or did whatever to make money, and were complete players/womanizers.. so much so that even after 2 of them got married, they'd sleep around all the time.. one got divorced, the other is still with his wife and happy. These guys were just cool in every way shape or form.. Ofc they were all about 5-8 years older than me.. I was the young gun.. but just hanging around them made me talk different, act different..

When you're trying to be interesting on your own, it just doesnt stick.. you can take up hobbies but it doesn't make shifts in your personality.. So even if you talk abouit "yea i rockclimb on the weekends, i smoke cigars, i fix up cars" or whateve rit may be, it doesn't mean much.. The biggest impact you can have on woman to make them think ur interesting is when they see you and your tribe.

Right now I'm far removed from my old tribe, and a few friend groups later, I only have but a few friends.. so I know it all too well how important a tribe is.. But, I also have the years of experience that made me who I am today.. from just doing alot of adventurous, cool sh.t while everyone was out working most of their life away..


With that being said, dont go find some scumbags, lowlives, or thugs to hang around. That's not what i mean at all. Those were just my circumstances but those guys weren't lowlives by any means, they had alot of money and some of them had legit good jobs. Its hard to explain.. But, maybe start living the nightlife more often.. Go clubbing consistently every weekend, find some guys who do the same and create some memorable experiences.. That will have more of an impact than starting some hobby that you really don't care for. I mean if you did, wouldnt you be doing it already?

 

[jaymbrs]

Buy a motorcycle

 

[BMX]

During my 30 months living in your country, I briefly trained in strongman. Then I moved east where there were no strongman training opportunities or jiu-jitsu like you do. Instead, I took up boxing once again at a local amateur boxing club and joined a regular gym for all the other stuff. Between those two gyms, if I went out solo on a weekend in my area, I always ran into at least 1-4 people from either of those gyms. Instant tribe connections like previously mentioned. When I was on my own not at work, I also did some reading, hiking or traveled the continent. As long as I put in a little bit of extra effort, I was able to live a more interesting life over there. Just don't be lazy.

 

[Bokanovsky]

How to have a very interesting life ?
Do things that many other men don’t or won’t do and have a higher commitment level doing anything that not many other men will match.

If that was the case, being a workaholic trash collector would be the ticket to a very interesting life. Except it’s not.

OP, asking “how to lead an interesting life” is akin to asking “how to become smart” or “how to be a chick magnet”. There is no formula and no simple answers.

 

[Billtx49]

If that was the case, being a workaholic trash collector would be the ticket to a very interesting life. Except it’s not.

I was thinking of activities like bridge bungee jumping, shark fishing, skydiving, etc.
Any able man can be a trash collector …
Not many men are able to live an interesting life…

 

[Nerevar]

If you want to be interesting - be interested.

There's a story I heard a while ago:

People don't care if you're interesting. They care how you make them feel.

Here is a thought experiment. Picture yourself alone at a fancy ****tail party that you have to attend for work. You would like to talk to people but you aren't sure what to say. At different times during the evening two different people approach you and make conversation. Here's how it goes:

Bob approaches you, you find out he just bought a boat. A 35ft with twin engines. He wrecked his old one racing it off of the coast of Portugal last year and almost died. He's been doing kettle bell workouts to get his body back in shape and its working great. He thinks he wine they served at the ****tail party is crap and he bets they don't have a single real sommelier in the building. He's going to do something about that actually, because he knows that guy that owns the place. He leaves his number on a napkin and says lets get coffe before he answers his Bloetooth headset and runs off.

Larry approaches you. He said he's feeling a little shy and he noticed that you were standign there alone. he doesn't care for big parties full of strangers. He asks if you like Dr.Who. You aren't really but you say you have heard of it and there is an awkward pause. He asks you what do you do for fun and you say you love doing archery and renaissance fairs. He's never done anything like that but he's interested to know more. Do they do those around here? what time of year? Do you have to dress up or can you just go? When's the next one? Larry says if you ever need someone to go with you that he's down and he asks if he can add you on Facebook.

Ok. Who are you going to call? Bob or Larry? Was it more important that they were interesting or was it more important that they were interested in you? You don't have to relate to everything. Fight that urge. Just be interested. If you make somebody else feel interesting, they will think the world of you.

I have cool hobbies. I make knives and tools in my metal shop. I like to take hallugiconegs and go to music festivals. I don't talk about them, people don't give a crap and that doesn't hurt my feelings. Nobody is ever going to get a warm and fuzzy feeling from you because you have cool hobby.

Most people are shy when it comes to making friends. Some people do walk around just bored and disinterested in others. learn to recognize them and pay them no energy.

Take some time to appreciate yourself. Stop calling yourself boring. You aren't a fking jester here to entertain people. You're an entire human being with just as much validity as anybody else. Love yourself for who you are and help other people feel good about themselves and you will never feel lonely again.

Just remember to ask "what do you do for fun?".

 

[corrector]

Take beginning private Casna airplane lessons and get a pilot's license.