How to BREAK this dangerous CYCLE

[AM349]

Over the past few years, I’ve made a lot of improvements in my life and my game. However, I noticed a cycle that keeps repeating itself:

1. I’m focused on myself, working toward goals, enjoying life, and not thinking about women.
2. As a result, women start appearing more, more matches, more DMs, more attention. It feels like they can sense the abundance.
3. I have a fun period: a solid rotation, easy interactions, everything flowing.
4. Eventually, plates start to expire, or I get tired of some and drop them.
5. Instead of staying centered, I shift focus toward finding replacements.
6. I become more outcome-dependent and needy without realizing it.
7. This kills my vibe, the flow dries up, and the rotation collapses.
8. After enough rejections and a dry spell, I stop caring again.
9. I go back to focusing on life, and women start coming back again.

My question:

Is this a common experience?

And more importantly, how can I break this cycle and maintain a constant flow without falling into neediness once plates expire?

 

[BPH]

Is this a common experience?

And more importantly, how can I break this cycle and maintain a constant flow without falling into neediness once plates expire?

Yes, I'm going through this experience right now.

You want to break the cycle? Get into a relationship. If you're unwilling/unable to do that (like me) you'll continue to engage in the cycle because even with the lows I generally enjoy it more than having a single girlfriend.

 

[AM349]

Yes, I'm going through this experience right now.

You want to break the cycle? Get into a relationship. If you're unwilling/unable to do that (like me) you'll continue to engage in the cycle because even with the lows I generally enjoy it more than having a single girlfriend.

I understand that it is normal to have periods that you have less girls, but i go from like talking to 10 woman to 0. I want to stabalize it more.

 

[BPH]

I understand that it is normal to have periods that you have less girls, but i go from like talking to 10 woman to 0. I want to stabalize it more.

Sh** happens.

I had like 3 or 4 women I was seeing somewhat regularly for s** that all fell off around the same time, forcing me back in the cycle of recruiting;

• One's been grieving her cat's death for 2 months and hasn't been responding to me since
• One realized she wants something more serious
• One got a new boyfriend on Valentine's Day
• And one didn't put much effort into presenting herself nicely when I saw her so I quickly lost interest in making the trip

"Stability" is simply the phenomena of getting what you want when you no longer need it (girls being more interested in you when you're in a relationship, for example).

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

The way to break the cycle is to become utterly outcome independent. Now. You already knew that, and it is easier said than done, especially if you tend toward getting some validation from the social proof going out with a beautiful woman can provide.

You have to be indifferent to all that. Its fluff. Its nice and all but its still fluff. Calibrate to it, and be able to take or leave it (women/sex/beauty).

The other thing you gotta be cognizant of are your own deeper needs. Only you know what those are. Most humans on some level have a need for companionship, for example. We are as humans, afterall social creatures who desire to be "known".

We also tend to come to love what we invest in. So if you are spending time/effort/money interacting with an individual, we begin to care about that individual and the interaction with that individual. That is normal. That is being human. It is pathological after awhile to not care at all because that is rooted in denial of deeper needs.

Not saying you need to find a girl to marry or anything but suggesting you tune in and pay attention to your deeper needs. If you lack solid internal validation (for example) you will subconsciously feel a sense of lack and you will seek external validation to fulfill that deeper need.

Make sense? Food for thought.