How To Bed Goth Chicks: The 20 Secret Rules Of The Underworld
Ok. There's been some chatter on the subject of Gothdom, and I have to say gentlemen, I am appalled.
Y'all don't know ****.
No offence.
Look, I used to be a Goth, back in the day. This was before I was in the seduction community. I'm still a little Gothy now, although I'd be loathe to admit it (see rule 3, below), and as such, here's a sketch of what you need to know to get started in the debauched world of darkness where all your sins are forgiven and all your twisted dreams made real.
Let me just say a couple of things to start, so you can get my fix on the Goth community. All of this is just my opinion, so don't think I'm casting judgements or proclaiming the ultimate truth of any situation. Also, all this is from the London Goth scene. Nevertheless, I'd be very surprised if most, and maybe all of it, isn't true of Goths everywhere.
FIRSTLY, A FEW BASICS...
Girls become Goths because they're looking to find a sense of identity, to find acceptance, and they enter a state of mind where the whole "beauty in darkness" thing makes a lot of sense.
Guys become Goths because of the Goth chicks, who are unbelievably hot, wear practically nothing, and lez up constantly. Orgies are not unusual in the Goth scene, which has heavy links with the Fetish scene.
Most Goths aren't Goths because they're making some form of conscious "**** society" statement AS SUCH. They may want to "**** society", but that's INCIDENTAL to what they're doing. What they're doing is linking with other people who share a similar outlook in a place where they can be accepted.
I became a Goth while I was recovering from a psychotic episode. Thing is, if I were in a normal club and some chick asked me about myself and I said "I went mad," she'd freak and run. In a Goth club, she'd say, "Oh. Ok. What was that like?"
Not playing a violin here. The point is this: Some, and arguably all of these people have very real problems with identity, with depression, with existential ANGST.
When they all come together they can relax. For many, Goth clubs are the only places where they can actually express themselves freely without fear of ridicule.
SO...
Goth clubs are VERY DIFFERENT to normal nightclubs. They are much more like social clubs. Goths do not usually go there to hook up with strangers (although this happens with alarming frequency), but instead to see their VERY CLOSE friends and meet with CHILLED OUT, LIKE MINDED, NON-JUDGEMENTAL people.
Finally, Goths are usually considerate and polite. Many people are surprised by this. They are very easy to talk to.
The RULES are therefore as follows.
RULE 1: TREAT A GOTH CLUB LIKE A PRIVATE PARTY. The Goth scene is extremely incestuous, and everybody knows everybody.
RULE 2: DO NOT BE A ****. Everyone knows everyone. It will bite you in the ass.
RULE 3: DO NOT TALK ABOUT BEING A GOTH. If someone asks you if you are a Goth, deny it. No true goth would ever admit to being a Goth.
RULE 4: THE TERM "GOTH" IS A PLAYFUL INSULT TO OTHER GOTHS IF DELIVERED BY A GOTH. A good opener is to go up to some Goths dressed as a Goth and say "Excuse me, I'm worried. I've been told that there are some Goths about the place. You haven't seen any have you?" while looking around nervously.
You will not be blown out.
Also, if someone says something really Gothic (ie - "sometimes it hurts so much to be alive" or whatever) you can defuse the situation by shaking your head and saying "You are such a GOTH." Make sure you are dressed as a Goth when you say this, and try to cram some real contempt into the word Goth.
RULE 5: GOTHS ARE INTELLIGENT. This is true. On average, Goths are far more intelligent, artistic, cerebral and philosophical than 'normals'. There are, obviously, glaring exceptions to this rule but generally it holds. Be aware. Read Jean-Paul Sartre's Nausea. Consider it homework. Once you've read it, never bring it up except to criticise Sartre's portrayal of the existential condition as simplistic and tired.
RULE 6: THE GOTH WORLD IS INTENSELY POLITICAL. Remember this. Different cliques abound. Look for the clique with the most beautiful MEN AND WOMEN. This is critically important. That clique is the top clique. If you can get into that clique, you will be extremely well proofed socially. Girls will talk to you just because you are associated with them.
RULE 7: SOCIAL PROOF IS CRITICAL. Social proof is, by my estimate, at least ten times more important in a Goth club than in a normal club, and maybe more. As such, forget the chicks at first, unless you're really, really slick (solid, cool natural game works on everyone). Go for the guys, the pretty guys in the pretty group. Be cool with them. Discuss philosophy if you can. If you can't, read a book so that you can. Anything by a postmodernist/nihilist/French philosopher is good. Jean Baudrillaud combines all three.
RULE 8: MUSIC IS VERY IMPORTANT - Never, under any circumstances, say that you like Marilyn Manson. Goth chicks can get away with this. Goth men CANNOT. It is so mid-to-late 90's, darling. The same kind of applies to Nine Inch Nails, although you can be forgiven for liking Trent Reznor's weird experimental ****. Also, if you even mention the word "Evanescence" without a look of hatred and contempt on your face, you will probably be ejected from the club.
RULE 9: STEER CLEAR OF CONVERSATIONS ABOUT MUSIC UNLESS YOU KNOW YOUR ****. Hot bands from the time I was there (3 years ago) are "HIM", Lacuna Coil, and Snake River Conspiracy. There are more, adn they change constantly. Genres usually circle electronica/industrial music. Traditional Goth stuff like The Cure, Morrissey and the Doors is also fine. In fact, it's mandatory. Know your ****.
RULE 10: UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES MISTAKE GOTHS FOR EMOS. I cannot overstate this one. There is only one insult that can make a Goth punch you in the face, and that is calling him or her an Emo. Never do this. Never. It is not a neg. It is suicide.
A quick rule of thumb - The difference between a Goth and an Emo is the difference between a tragedy and a tantrum. Remember this.
Ok. There's been some chatter on the subject of Gothdom, and I have to say gentlemen, I am appalled.
Y'all don't know ****.
No offence.
Look, I used to be a Goth, back in the day. This was before I was in the seduction community. I'm still a little Gothy now, although I'd be loathe to admit it (see rule 3, below), and as such, here's a sketch of what you need to know to get started in the debauched world of darkness where all your sins are forgiven and all your twisted dreams made real.
Let me just say a couple of things to start, so you can get my fix on the Goth community. All of this is just my opinion, so don't think I'm casting judgements or proclaiming the ultimate truth of any situation. Also, all this is from the London Goth scene. Nevertheless, I'd be very surprised if most, and maybe all of it, isn't true of Goths everywhere.
FIRSTLY, A FEW BASICS...
Girls become Goths because they're looking to find a sense of identity, to find acceptance, and they enter a state of mind where the whole "beauty in darkness" thing makes a lot of sense.
Guys become Goths because of the Goth chicks, who are unbelievably hot, wear practically nothing, and lez up constantly. Orgies are not unusual in the Goth scene, which has heavy links with the Fetish scene.
Most Goths aren't Goths because they're making some form of conscious "**** society" statement AS SUCH. They may want to "**** society", but that's INCIDENTAL to what they're doing. What they're doing is linking with other people who share a similar outlook in a place where they can be accepted.
I became a Goth while I was recovering from a psychotic episode. Thing is, if I were in a normal club and some chick asked me about myself and I said "I went mad," she'd freak and run. In a Goth club, she'd say, "Oh. Ok. What was that like?"
Not playing a violin here. The point is this: Some, and arguably all of these people have very real problems with identity, with depression, with existential ANGST.
When they all come together they can relax. For many, Goth clubs are the only places where they can actually express themselves freely without fear of ridicule.
SO...
Goth clubs are VERY DIFFERENT to normal nightclubs. They are much more like social clubs. Goths do not usually go there to hook up with strangers (although this happens with alarming frequency), but instead to see their VERY CLOSE friends and meet with CHILLED OUT, LIKE MINDED, NON-JUDGEMENTAL people.
Finally, Goths are usually considerate and polite. Many people are surprised by this. They are very easy to talk to.
The RULES are therefore as follows.
RULE 1: TREAT A GOTH CLUB LIKE A PRIVATE PARTY. The Goth scene is extremely incestuous, and everybody knows everybody.
RULE 2: DO NOT BE A ****. Everyone knows everyone. It will bite you in the ass.
RULE 3: DO NOT TALK ABOUT BEING A GOTH. If someone asks you if you are a Goth, deny it. No true goth would ever admit to being a Goth.
RULE 4: THE TERM "GOTH" IS A PLAYFUL INSULT TO OTHER GOTHS IF DELIVERED BY A GOTH. A good opener is to go up to some Goths dressed as a Goth and say "Excuse me, I'm worried. I've been told that there are some Goths about the place. You haven't seen any have you?" while looking around nervously.
You will not be blown out.
Also, if someone says something really Gothic (ie - "sometimes it hurts so much to be alive" or whatever) you can defuse the situation by shaking your head and saying "You are such a GOTH." Make sure you are dressed as a Goth when you say this, and try to cram some real contempt into the word Goth.
RULE 5: GOTHS ARE INTELLIGENT. This is true. On average, Goths are far more intelligent, artistic, cerebral and philosophical than 'normals'. There are, obviously, glaring exceptions to this rule but generally it holds. Be aware. Read Jean-Paul Sartre's Nausea. Consider it homework. Once you've read it, never bring it up except to criticise Sartre's portrayal of the existential condition as simplistic and tired.
RULE 6: THE GOTH WORLD IS INTENSELY POLITICAL. Remember this. Different cliques abound. Look for the clique with the most beautiful MEN AND WOMEN. This is critically important. That clique is the top clique. If you can get into that clique, you will be extremely well proofed socially. Girls will talk to you just because you are associated with them.
RULE 7: SOCIAL PROOF IS CRITICAL. Social proof is, by my estimate, at least ten times more important in a Goth club than in a normal club, and maybe more. As such, forget the chicks at first, unless you're really, really slick (solid, cool natural game works on everyone). Go for the guys, the pretty guys in the pretty group. Be cool with them. Discuss philosophy if you can. If you can't, read a book so that you can. Anything by a postmodernist/nihilist/French philosopher is good. Jean Baudrillaud combines all three.
RULE 8: MUSIC IS VERY IMPORTANT - Never, under any circumstances, say that you like Marilyn Manson. Goth chicks can get away with this. Goth men CANNOT. It is so mid-to-late 90's, darling. The same kind of applies to Nine Inch Nails, although you can be forgiven for liking Trent Reznor's weird experimental ****. Also, if you even mention the word "Evanescence" without a look of hatred and contempt on your face, you will probably be ejected from the club.
RULE 9: STEER CLEAR OF CONVERSATIONS ABOUT MUSIC UNLESS YOU KNOW YOUR ****. Hot bands from the time I was there (3 years ago) are "HIM", Lacuna Coil, and Snake River Conspiracy. There are more, adn they change constantly. Genres usually circle electronica/industrial music. Traditional Goth stuff like The Cure, Morrissey and the Doors is also fine. In fact, it's mandatory. Know your ****.
RULE 10: UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES MISTAKE GOTHS FOR EMOS. I cannot overstate this one. There is only one insult that can make a Goth punch you in the face, and that is calling him or her an Emo. Never do this. Never. It is not a neg. It is suicide.
A quick rule of thumb - The difference between a Goth and an Emo is the difference between a tragedy and a tantrum. Remember this.
