Hey guys, I've been into pick up for a while now, and one of my biggest sticking points even now is approaching. When I'm not feeling it, i barely approach. When I'm feeling it, i might approach 10 sets but even that is a stretch. However I've found a way to not only make myself approach, but also to make me feel a strong URGE to approach. This has helped me to the point that I've become an approach machine. No i'm not talking about alcohol. I'm talking about both a mentality and a social strategy.
Think of the last time you went out and could not approach. It was likely due to intimidation. Perhaps you went to the venue feeling like you're going to rip the place apart, yet as soon as you walk through the door you're overwhelmed by all the hotties and all the energy. In no time you are standing there waiting for the perfect oportunity to start, and BAM! You're in your head. You feel low value, and you start making excuses to not approach. You're back in your shell. Now you need a drink just to approach otherwise your night will be a total waste. You take one drink and not only did you break the no drinking rule of pick up, but after a while you start going back into your shell so you need another drink, and another... Pretty soon the whole idea of evolving into an alpha male is out the window and you're still a beta with a fake, temporary feeling of confidence from the alcohol. And all this because the pressure you put on yourself to have a fun night getting girls numbers became too intimidating.
In order to become an approaching machine, you must first accept one crucial fact: You have low confidence when it comes to hot girls, so you will find it very intimidating to approach the HB or any difficult set. Now lets accept the second fact: The only time you will have enough balls to approach the sets you really want to approach is when you have social momentum. By social momentum I mean where you have so much social acceptance that you feel like you own the place. If you dont believe me that you have to have social momentum to approach the difficult sets, then look at your past. Remember the times when you approached the hot sets, one after another. Its likely that you were in the zone that night. You didnt give a **** what the spectators would think, and you didnt care about best openers or perfect timing. You just went in. Accepting that you must have social momentum to approach any hot or difficult set is the mindset you must adopt. Next is the strategy.
The strategy is to relieve yourself from the pressure of approaching. Once you do this, you will feel the freedom that will make you want and even NEED to approach. The strategy is to make gaining social momentum your only goal when you go out. How? By simply interacting with others. The great thing is you dont have to approach hot girls to gain social momentum and you dont even need to hook or gain the crowd's acceptance, you can gain social momentum simply by approaching anybody. So you want to start your night simply by approaching the sets you do not care about. Approach a random guy, an ugly girl, etc. I call them "throwaway" sets, they are sets that you do not want to hook. Approach a few of them and raise the scale to go for harder sets as you feel more comfortable. And if you see a set of hot girls, its ok if you do not approach them yet, because your goal is to gain social momentum. If you start thinking about how you should be approaching them, then you're not ready yet, so ignore them, instead approach more throw away sets. After less than an hour of just approaching thowaway sets you will feel have so much social momentum that you will see no barrier between you and any HB. You will actually feel the urge to approach those sets that you really want with minor hesitation.
The beauty of all this is that when you build momentum one night, alot of it will stay there for the next night. So you find yourself needing to approach fewer and fewer throwaways and jumping right into the high value sets.
So in summary, you must accept the fact that you don't have the confidence to approach hot girls. You can gain this confidence by simply gaining social momentum. You can gain social momentum by approaching those sets you don't care about. Let me know how it works for you!
Think of the last time you went out and could not approach. It was likely due to intimidation. Perhaps you went to the venue feeling like you're going to rip the place apart, yet as soon as you walk through the door you're overwhelmed by all the hotties and all the energy. In no time you are standing there waiting for the perfect oportunity to start, and BAM! You're in your head. You feel low value, and you start making excuses to not approach. You're back in your shell. Now you need a drink just to approach otherwise your night will be a total waste. You take one drink and not only did you break the no drinking rule of pick up, but after a while you start going back into your shell so you need another drink, and another... Pretty soon the whole idea of evolving into an alpha male is out the window and you're still a beta with a fake, temporary feeling of confidence from the alcohol. And all this because the pressure you put on yourself to have a fun night getting girls numbers became too intimidating.
In order to become an approaching machine, you must first accept one crucial fact: You have low confidence when it comes to hot girls, so you will find it very intimidating to approach the HB or any difficult set. Now lets accept the second fact: The only time you will have enough balls to approach the sets you really want to approach is when you have social momentum. By social momentum I mean where you have so much social acceptance that you feel like you own the place. If you dont believe me that you have to have social momentum to approach the difficult sets, then look at your past. Remember the times when you approached the hot sets, one after another. Its likely that you were in the zone that night. You didnt give a **** what the spectators would think, and you didnt care about best openers or perfect timing. You just went in. Accepting that you must have social momentum to approach any hot or difficult set is the mindset you must adopt. Next is the strategy.
The strategy is to relieve yourself from the pressure of approaching. Once you do this, you will feel the freedom that will make you want and even NEED to approach. The strategy is to make gaining social momentum your only goal when you go out. How? By simply interacting with others. The great thing is you dont have to approach hot girls to gain social momentum and you dont even need to hook or gain the crowd's acceptance, you can gain social momentum simply by approaching anybody. So you want to start your night simply by approaching the sets you do not care about. Approach a random guy, an ugly girl, etc. I call them "throwaway" sets, they are sets that you do not want to hook. Approach a few of them and raise the scale to go for harder sets as you feel more comfortable. And if you see a set of hot girls, its ok if you do not approach them yet, because your goal is to gain social momentum. If you start thinking about how you should be approaching them, then you're not ready yet, so ignore them, instead approach more throw away sets. After less than an hour of just approaching thowaway sets you will feel have so much social momentum that you will see no barrier between you and any HB. You will actually feel the urge to approach those sets that you really want with minor hesitation.
The beauty of all this is that when you build momentum one night, alot of it will stay there for the next night. So you find yourself needing to approach fewer and fewer throwaways and jumping right into the high value sets.
So in summary, you must accept the fact that you don't have the confidence to approach hot girls. You can gain this confidence by simply gaining social momentum. You can gain social momentum by approaching those sets you don't care about. Let me know how it works for you!
