How to be the main focus of the table?

[jlazz]

You know...when you look at the table and everyone is intently listening and laughing and you look closer and see there's one guy being the center of it all telling funny, interesting stories. I have a friend who's like that and its probably because he's pretty confident in himself. He's really funny too. What I noticed though is...he usually recycle's stories...I would be with him one moment and he'd tell me this funny story...then we'd meet up with someone else and he'd tell it to them and so on. I don't mind it, but I always refrained from doing that. He obviously doesn't care.

Anyway, I also noticed he tells a lot of fake stories...what I mean by this is...he embellishes the truth and adds his own humor to it...so even though it isn't real...people enjoy it anyway and some actually believe it. He does this naturally though because he does it all the time...its second nature for him.

How do you go about telling stories like this without sounding like an idiot and without making the impression that its fake. When he says it...he has everyone listening and interested. When I usually tell a story it feels akward for me with everyone quiet...mainly because I'm not fully confident with myself. I've also lost my ****y/funny attitude and need to regain it.

 

[Monkey]

Trying to become the centre of attention is the path to loneliness - instead aim for cool understated confidence.

 

[diablo]

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In the future, please try to post in the right section.

Moved to AE...

 

[Fender]

To quote Juggler:

"The person in control of the conversation isn't the one everybody is LISTENING to, its the person everyone TALKS to."

Everyone is trying to PROVE themselves to this guy. Think about it.

-fender-

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

wow Fender... I never thought of it that way

you're right. kind of gives me an image of The Godfather where everyone lines up to ask the Don a favour. they walk up and immediately kiss his ring. lol

excellent point

 

[Scrumtulescence]

Originally posted by Fender
To quote Juggler:

"The person in control of the conversation isn't the one everybody is LISTENING to, its the person everyone TALKS to."

That's a nice and dandy quote, but I don't think it has much basis in reality. Usually when somebody's the center of attention, at a table or where ever, it's because they're the most extroverted, the most outgoing, the most talkative, the most interesting. When you're in a laughter-filled group conversation you're not going to be the most interesting by sitting back and listening to everybody else. Unless you're the Godfather. Are you the Godfather? Didn't think so.

 

[Fender]

Ye, the person everybody talks to doesn't have to be the most INTERESTING. Never said anything about that.

The person everyone talks to is in CONTROL of the interaction. He's the one giving others approval (or not).

Somewhere along the way of DJ training, people confuse being INTERESTING and being in CONTROL. Although it's possible to be both, they're totally different things.

And besides, part of being a good listener is having good responses. So it doesn't mean you should sit there like the Godfather and stare at the guy and nod or whatever he does. Reply to what people are saying!

-fender-

 

[Scrumtulescence]

Originally posted by Fender
Ye, the person everybody talks to doesn't have to be the most INTERESTING. Never said anything about that.

The person everyone talks to is in CONTROL of the interaction. He's the one giving others approval (or not).

Somewhere along the way of DJ training, people confuse being INTERESTING and being in CONTROL. Although it's possible to be both, they're totally different things.

And besides, part of being a good listener is having good responses. So it doesn't mean you should sit there like the Godfather and stare at the guy and nod or whatever he does. Reply to what people are saying!

-fender-

Again, you seem to be spewing a lot of "dj theory" and stuff that makes sense on paper, when in reality it's just not typically that way. jlazz asked how to be the "center of attention", how to be the "main focus" of everyone. That is more about being the extroverted guy who has all the interesting things to say and all the jokes to crack and the infectious personality. Well no crap that's the person "everyone is talking to", but only because he's the guy everyone is listening to in the first place.

When everybody's sitting around talking and having a good time, nobody gives a damn who's "alpha" or who's "in control". In a fun conversational social setting, you're in control when you have the most interesting and/or funny things to say and know how to say them. A lot of the time that's not even the "alpha male".

I swear, some people just let this DJ bible stuff get to their head.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

1. Stop being society's puppett. What's cool and interesting now, is outdated, old, and boring soon.

2. Be ok with yourself @ the table and you'll be able and talkative with others.

3. It isn't a how-to or technique-laden topic. Being THAT guy isn't a "try" thing, and guys who do, who aren't that way are easy to spot. Even now.

What are you ASKING for attention? What purpose does it serve? Will you be wealthier? Healthier? Get more chicks? Have more happiness? Is your happiness connected to what people approve of?

Those who are extroverted ARE NOT into what's socially approved, because they're usually found interesting or funny BECAUSE they're against the grain.

-----------------------------

Honestly, I couldn't tell you if I've ever been the 'center' of a table.

Why? Because normally, when I'm with friends, I don't care. It isn't even a thought, now, or in the future. Why would I want to 1-up my friends, or gain the attention / attraction of my friends (who I should have anyways) or of strangers?

Maybe it's because you're young, the pressures of H.S. have you thinking this way, but it's precisely THAT thinking that stifles ALOT of social bonding, because you feel you HAVE to do or be certain things to experience certain things in life.

JUST HAVE FUN.

A-Unit