How to be a better conversationalist with women?

[skinnyguy]

So I have come on here to seek advice on how to up my conversational skills. When I was in high school, let's just say that I didn't have much interaction with chicks. I was a total nerd and I was watching all the athletes get all the girls while I sat on the sidelines. So, I lost a lot of important years when it come to interacting with the opposite sex. I never went to any parties, never went on any dates, and didn't go to the prom.

Now, I feel like I really don't get that much interaction with women so my conversational skills sort of suck. What I'm hoping to do is become more playful, and less interview like. Most women would probably view me as "boring" when it comes to conversation, and I think this prevents me from scoring a lot of the times. Even when I do get dates, I have problems escalating and I just don't know how to get the cards in my favor.

So basically, I want to be less boring and more aggressive. I heard that "telling stories" helps a lot, and I can see that, but I'm looking for tips on how to bring up sexuality in the discussion without freaking them out. It's a really fine line and I don't want to feel like I'm walking on needles whenever I do it. Rather than hearing answers like "stop pedestalizing" I'm looking for concrete answers to show how I can get from Point A to Point B.

I am NOT looking to hook up with slvts. I don't waste my time on them and frankly I don't want herpes. I am looking for women who preferably have a Master's degree and have family values.

 

[YAboi]

You think too much. Do instead. Stop harping on about perceived shortcomings such as not being able to carry conversation. Just talk , say anything and you will realise that you don't have to speak to girls in a certain way. Its your calmness during unfamiliarity stage that matters. If u are happy the chick is happy. kapeesh?

 

[Chamber36]

If u are happy the chick is happy. kapeesh?

Must agree.

And why don't you turn the tables and let them entertain you? Consider what you have to offer them and what they have to offer you?

Find a girl you can relate to man.

A lot of women just talk about complete BULLLLLSHIIIIT, there's no point trying to relate. Once you try to relate you are already falling into the friendzone.

What you can do is be self-amused! You need some amused mastery my dawg. Let them qualify themselves to you.

See what interesting topics they can offer you. Steer the conversation however you want man.

I was in the club, this chick was trying to qualify herself and her skiing adventures, but I don't really care if she ski's, I am more interested in wtf happened to Michael Schumacher, so that's where I steered the convo towards.

Just persue your own interests, better yourself as a human being, and if you aren't looking for a sl*t, but someone with a Master's who loves you for YOU, well then you can spend the next 50 years screening them for that! But the only way to do that is to lead the conversation how you want to lead it and see if they follow. If they do follow then there's much less work for you to do than if you are constantly trying to gain their approval.

Personally I don't try to create interest where there is none, it's not my style. I just go for the women who are interested from the start, and I think that's what you should do. Find women who are interested in you from the start. Don't try and create interest. Find out who's interested.

And hit the gym or at least do pushups/pullups in your spare time! Put some blood into your muscles! Use your body! It's an easy way to attract women. A lot of superficial women will be interested in your conversational topics just because you look good. It's easier than actually trying to entertain them. But to each his own.

 

[skinnyguy]

You think too much. Do instead. Stop harping on about perceived shortcomings such as not being able to carry conversation. Just talk , say anything and you will realise that you don't have to speak to girls in a certain way. Its your calmness during unfamiliarity stage that matters. If u are happy the chick is happy. kapeesh?

So you're saying just say whatever the fvck is on my mind? I can do that .

Out approaching right now. I'm treating the HB 9's like they are HB 2's and it is helping a lot.

 

[Formerlyrossitheking]

I recommend trying out door to door selling if you get the chance skinny. I did it quite a few years ago on a commission based wage and it worked wonders. Your approach anxiety vanishes fairly quickly as you are forced to engage and build rapport with customers. Your senses sharpen, you pick up on little cues and IOI traits. Conversations become natural and feel like they are in slow motion. It's amazing what a simple change in mindset and chasing the dollar can achieve. Its definitely helped me to conquer 'fears' in social settings. Give it a try!

 

[skinnyguy]

I recommend trying out door to door selling if you get the chance skinny. I did it quite a few years ago on a commission based wage and it worked wonders. Your approach anxiety vanishes fairly quickly as you are forced to engage and build rapport with customers. Your senses sharpen, you pick up on little cues and IOI traits. Conversations become natural and feel like they are in slow motion. It's amazing what a simple change in mindset and chasing the dollar can achieve. Its definitely helped me to conquer 'fears' in social settings. Give it a try!

Thanks that is a really good idea…I can see how the anxiety would go away…at the end of the day I realize that it's all up in my head and people don't really care.

Right now I just need to get over the fact that 9 out of 10 women that I approach will say they have a boyfriend. If I can get over that and keep my head up I'll be ok.

 

[Formerlyrossitheking]

Thanks that is a really good idea…I can see how the anxiety would go away…at the end of the day I realize that it's all up in my head and people don't really care.

Right now I just need to get over the fact that 9 out of 10 women that I approach will say they have a boyfriend. If I can get over that and keep my head up I'll be ok.

It really is all in your head mate.

I'll point back to selling. You could be rejected 25 times in a row which I've experienced many times. Now, I'm no master seller but I do know that the next person you approach won't have a clue that you've been rejected if you can maintain a smile. I guarantee you 100% that they will do if you let the rejection's affect you.

Numbers game mate. Seek rejection. Rejections help you. Learn to not give a shlt because you can only learn from rejection. Embrace it.

If they got a boyfriend. So what. Next. Wish them a good day.

Treat all equal - 9s, 2s, guys, kids, OAPs. All equal.

Say hi, ask how their day is, observe what they are wearing or doing. Pick up on key words. Key words stem the flow of conversation if you are really listening.


Just be present and genuine. Most importantly..... Have fun!

 

[JaegerPilot217]

David Wygant gives great advice on this

 

[adam225]

So you're saying just say whatever the fvck is on my mind? I can do that .

Out approaching right now. I'm treating the HB 9's like they are HB 2's and it is helping a lot.

Good....

The main thing is to play around with her and make the conversation FUN. On top of this you need to make her feel that you are above her (you're the man basically). You're on the right path though, just knock it down another knotch though HB9 > HB0

 

[SmooveMooves]

Amused-Mastery. the question is not " how can I be interesting to her" Its " how can she be interesting to me" Steer the conversation to what YOU find interestng and let her do most of the talking offering little inputs from time to time. People love to talk about themselves, especially women. Have a few good stories to tell from time to time, develop a lil charisma, and you'll be golden.

 

[PlayHer Man]

You think too much. Do instead. Stop harping on about perceived shortcomings such as not being able to carry conversation. Just talk , say anything and you will realise that you don't have to speak to girls in a certain way. Its your calmness during unfamiliarity stage that matters. If u are happy the chick is happy. kapeesh?

Agree.

You have nothing to prove to a woman. If you believe you have something to prove then you are putting her on a pedestal and taking the position of beta fag.

You don't need to be a good conversationalist to f*ck attractive women. I know meatheads who are so stupid they can barely string a sentence together outside of what their favorite protein bar is... yet they have no problems attracting women.

Being a "good conversationalist" comes out of the female rule book. Its a female template for status. Any man who walks away from another man and says: "He isn't a good conversationalist" is a flaming homosexual.

Men are the doers of the world. Men don't talk just for the sake of talking. Men talk when they have a purpose. Women talk to kill time. Don't try to adapt yourself to female sensibilities.

 

[gravityeyelids]

You have two ways to go about this. One, you could try being okay with just standing there and letting her talk.

The key here is not to stand awkwardly like a deer in headlights just staring at her. But just gaze at her like you're expecting her to say something and most of the time girls will start talking. Especially if they're interested in you, they'll try to start talking and impressing you and might even worry that they're not impressing you. Think Don Draper. He doesn't say sh!t when he;s not in a business meeting. I REALIZE he's a fictional character. But watch how he interacts with girls. He just stays cool, and literally stares at them or raises an eyebrow or whatever. Even when asked a question, sometimes he doesnt even answer.

The other way is to make them talk about themselves. Bridge off of what they say. This is so simple. For example if a girl says she just got back from a kanye west concert in new york with her grandma. Theres at least three things right there you can branch to:
1) She likes hip hop music?
2) Is kanye west an ******* or genius?
3) I've been/ havent been to new york. I liked it/ hated it
4) Why the fvck is her granny such a bada$$?
5) Does she travel a lot?

etc. etc. Girls will talk for hours about themselves, and honestly the less you reveal about yourself the better. You need to talk a LITTLE about yourself, but don't put everything on the table right within the first 10 mins of meeting a girl. My last girl said she was so interested in me because it was like peeling layers of an onion away... i didnt talk for hours about myself and it kept her interested because she had to work to learn everything about me.

Honestly, you can say absolute nonsense to a girl. I've said the most random things, just whatever comes to your head. Don't worry about saying the right thing. The worst thing you can do is bore a girl. As long as she's feeling some type of emotion even if it's complete confusion, you're doing alright normally. Treat them like you're talking to a fvcking little kid that you're not taking seriously. Just be playful and don't give a sh!t what you say or how she responds.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Agree.

You have nothing to prove to a woman. If you believe you have something to prove then you are putting her on a pedestal and taking the position of beta fag.

You don't need to be a good conversationalist to f*ck attractive women. I know meatheads who are so stupid they can barely string a sentence together outside of what their favorite protein bar is... yet they have no problems attracting women.

Being a "good conversationalist" comes out of the female rule book. Its a female template for status. Any man who walks away from another man and says: "He isn't a good conversationalist" is a flaming homosexual.

Men are the doers of the world. Men don't talk just for the sake of talking. Men talk when they have a purpose. Women talk to kill time. Don't try to adapt yourself to female sensibilities.

Men are more random speakers while Women are more bonding conversationalist, I read that in David Wygants book called "The Fearless Code"