How to bang an acquaintance from college that I reconnected with on instgram?

[Sebastian0001]

I am just getting back into the game after a very long relationship so you will see how weak my skills are in the conversation I had with this woman below. I recently connected with a very hot chick from college that I had only met a couple times and we followed each other on Instagram. What do you think of the conversation? Does she seem interested or not really? I want to ask her for her number in the next message but she also lives in a different state from me so I can't really see her until I visit that state. Is it worth having a phone convo? Also, I can't tell if her response was lukewarm or what. How could I have conversed better? I am very rusty and bad with women right now because of how long it has been since I last dated.

Here is the convo we had:

Me: Hi Kelly! You went to UCLA, right? I think we met in college at Steve's graduation party if I remember correctly. I'm usually good with names/faces so I
recognize you but not sure if you remember. How has post-college life been for you?
Her: Hi Sebastian I did, yeah Haha nice! Mm I semi remember but college felt like a life time ago
Her: Post college life's been interesting - went to grad school, became a doctor, work at Kaiser now, got married, got divorced and here I am! LOL how about u?
Me: Oh wow, we have similar journeys - I did grad school (MBA), then worked at Kaiser too and then got engaged but then we mutually broke it off.
Relationships are so complex, aren't they?
Me: And ps how was someone stupid enough to get divorced from you? You have the vibe of a smiley, bubbly and fun person!
Her: Oh wow nice which Kiser did you work for? And yea relationships are pretty tough haha. Aww that's sweet
Me: I was at the California location and I really liked it a lot
Me: Now I work at Sutter and I focus on product management
Her: Wow nice! I did rotations there, it's really nice. I'm currently at Oakland and I like it.
Me: I visit family in SF sometimes. We should totally grab a drink or something the next time I'm out there if ur up for it!
Her: Yeah if our schedules work out, for sure

 

[boodaddy]

The conversation is quite friendly and social. Sexual threat and tension missing. Which is fine and can be worked on, and you can tilt the vibe too once you do hangout if she is ready to see you.

But more importantly, the bigger questions is...are you going to visit that state just for her because that is not in the OP, in which case, idk man, why not hit the bars in your own area and start talking to girls closer to you.

Edit: I read that you mention a visit to the family. Matching schedules might be tough but you can have a phone call conversation with her and see how she responds to your bantering. If she seems interested, i would definitely meetup when visiting family.

 

[Konada]

Me: And ps how was someone stupid enough to get divorced from you? You have the vibe of a smiley, bubbly and fun person!

You barely know this chick. For all you know, her husband could have been sick of her craziness and divorced her.

Why would you send something like this??

 

[boodaddy]

Me: And ps how was someone stupid enough to get divorced from you? You have the vibe of a smiley, bubbly and fun person!

You barely know this chick. For all you know, her husband could have been sick of her craziness and divorced her.

Why would you send something like this??

Believe it or not. It's not the end of the world. Yeah, he kissed ass there and should not make it a habit. And the "Aww that's sweet" was like a mom petting her child. But this MIGHT still work.

All text game and game in general is about MOVING FORWARD. So if he can get her on the phone, do some good bantering without kissing ass. Feel her out without giving excessive validation and kissing her ass, she might be a good future lead to hit up when he visits.

 

[SW15]

Arrange an in-person get together and physically escalate. That's how it would normally be done.

You seem to be torturing yourself here given that she doesn't live nearby. I'm 38, so a similar age to @Sebastian0001. There are some 37-38 year old women now that I knew during my college years that I would be interested in banging. Their looks have held up reasonably well over the years. The issue is that none of those women live near me and I'm not going to travel to bang a 38 year old former hottie who I didn't bang in college when I was 18-21. If those women were local and we were both single at the same time, I'd be interested enough to make a move and see what would happen.

There was a Seinfeld episode about this topic. George Costanza ends up on a date one of the more attractive women from Jerry & George's college class when they are about 40 years old.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Hope Im wrong, but I dont think shes interested. Dosent matter, POF in the sea. Keep us posted.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

If your goal is to bang then just hang out with her as a friend and stay charming, maybe subtly tease her a bit about something sexual when you're together and if she responds with laughter, teasing back, or touching you then it's a green light.

Don't make it your life's mission to bang this chick, otherwise your intentions will become clear to her and she might start thinking you're a desperate two faced nobody that has to work extremely hard for female attention.

Focus on cultivating a good time and think about whether she's worthy of your sexual attention before pulling the trigger. Is she sweet? Does she smell? Basically make sure you like her as a person, so she can actually be a friend regardless of whether you have sex.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Ask her out. If you can’t make a date with her now then ghost until you can.

 

[Sebastian0001]

Me: And ps how was someone stupid enough to get divorced from you? You have the vibe of a smiley, bubbly and fun person!

You barely know this chick. For all you know, her husband could have been sick of her craziness and divorced her.

Why would you send something like this??

I agree, that does sound stupid in retrospect. Sometimes I get mixed up when ppl say to be charming, so I do that kind of sweet talk. How is charming different from this exactly and what happens when there is too many of these sweet type comments? Do they take the guy for granted or perhaps conclude that he is a loser because he is trying to use niceness to get sex?

 

[Sebastian0001]

Believe it or not. It's not the end of the world. Yeah, he kissed ass there and should not make it a habit. And the "Aww that's sweet" was like a mom petting her child. But this MIGHT still work.

All text game and game in general is about MOVING FORWARD. So if he can get her on the phone, do some good bantering without kissing ass. Feel her out without giving excessive validation and kissing her ass, she might be a good future lead to hit up when he visits.

Dang, I did kiss ass and now I feel stupid. How would you contrast "kissing ass" and being "charming?" I'm thinking that if one gives too many kiss ass comments, the woman will think he is a loser and trying to use niceness to get sex which probably demonstrates low value. A new lesson for me!

 

[Konada]

Dang, I did kiss ass and now I feel stupid. How would you contrast "kissing ass" and being "charming?" I'm thinking that if one gives too many kiss ass comments, the woman will think he is a loser and trying to use niceness to get sex which probably demonstrates low value. A new lesson for me!

If she is interested, its charming. If she is not interested or on the fence, it most likely will be looked at as kissing ass.

If she is as hot as you say, she has probably heard every line in the book from all the dudes that want to bang her. Including some variation of your line.

Get her number, drop a call nearer to the date you're visiting and get her out on a date.

If you want, you can upload interesting instagram stories to try to get her curious about you... but it may also backfire if she doesn't like what she sees, which you know nothing of at this point.

There are alot of external circumstances that may not lead to a bang. Don't sweat it if you don't get her.