How to avoid hazing from people?

[BornWinner]

Girls seem to practise what I seemed to see from high school. In high school, competition is very keen. Students haze each other and things turn ugly.

So there's this b|tch who tried to act in such a b|tchy way, so I told her off that day. And now, she started to give me the silent treatment in office like what kiddies did in high school.

She even managed to convince others to exclude me (I dunno how she did it),but now I am left all alone during lunch time, and nobody talks to me anymore during office hours.

What can I do to get out from this situation?

 

[DJUofS]

Originally posted by BornWinner
Girls seem to practise what I seemed to see from high school. In high school, competition is very keen. Students haze each other and things turn ugly.

So there's this b|tch who tried to act in such a b|tchy way, so I told her off that day. And now, she started to give me the silent treatment in office like what kiddies did in high school.

She even managed to convince others to exclude me (I dunno how she did it),but now I am left all alone during lunch time, and nobody talks to me anymore during office hours.

What can I do to get out from this situation?

Stop worrying about it is your best bet. If people are excluding you from their activities and such, those people weren't your friends to begin with. Who gives a damn if a few ppl won't eat lunch with you? You don't need them anyway.

 

[jama]

Hi there.

First of all, you have to ask your self:
1- Who are these people?
2- Do you need them?
3- Are they your friends?

Don’t worry about what other people think about you. You are who you are, and you do whatever you want without any approval from anyone. Ignore their asses and do your job and go home.

When you ignore them, they would see that you don’t give a f*ck about them.
And if they start talking to you, don’t mention about the girl. Pretend that you don’t hear anything. And be nice to them.

Good luck.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

I went through a similar situation with a group of guys friends that were older. Turns out they weren't really my friends at all. I was hanging around a bit with them. A couple of them took a disliking to me for no reason other than I'm younger and a decent looking guy that's in shape, and they are as it turns out, alcholic drug users. So, no real loss there man. It hurts not being liked. What bugs me is I don't know the reason why - I never did anything to these guys. One of their other friends who isn't a bad guy summed it up to one word: Jealousy.

 

[VictorK]

Originally posted by fuzzx
We're your friends... you don't need anybody else!!! I'm in the same situation btw.. took a 3 month cooking course that had a bunch of young people in it. I upset a girl by saying to someone else she was a *****.. she called her bf, I called the police and you can probably sort it out from there.

I hate it when girls are that soft and lack confidence that they have to call their 'boyfriends' everytime someone doesn't seem to like them.

Good for you man for standing up to her, and her itty bitty boyfriend.

 

[Hollowpoint]

You don't happen to work in a postal office do you?

 

[BornWinner]

Ever remember like those times in high school?

We have the class clown, the joker, the avid party goer, the loner and etc.

Right now since I have been isolated, I am now the loner. Basically, I have been acting like a doormat before this trying to please people all the time so I will not get isolated.

And since I've make a mistake this time by making this girl upset, she excludes me. Everyone in the office excludes me. ARGH DARN!!!

I shouldn't have pissed her off. I should have been more careful with my words.

Now I pay the price.

 

[legolas]

Oh shiite, you've come accross one of those vindictive girls. They are very dangerous. Read "Odd girl out" by Racherl Simmons or watch "Mean Girls"

This is how girls express their anger. They're nice on the outside but their hatred consumes them from the inside. They use pretty much everything in their disposal to make your life miserable. This may be just the beginning. Next thing you know, she may write you up for sexual harrasment, and her word will stand up against yours.

Anyway, now that I made you sh1t your pants you probably want to know what to do:

1. Don't confront her on it, she'll just deny it. I've done it before and it doesn't work.

2. Don't fall on her level and do what she does. She'll spread more hate.

3. Befriend someone in upper management and tell them you're worried that she might take it too far. Letting them know in advance is good to build credibility. Choose this person to be a woman since men are rarely believed in these cases. I did it and it helped me tremendously.

4. Never assume she'll stop if you ignore her. She'll feed off of it. I'm not saying "do something" but just know that she won't necessarily stop.

This is as much as I can think of right now. She probably was a drama queen in HS and never grew up.

 

[legolas]

Re: Ever remember like those times in high school?

Originally posted by BornWinner
We have the class clown, the joker, the avid party goer, the loner and etc.

People never want to grow up. They keep living in the times when they had the most fun. Ever wonder why the '60s generation still listens to '60s music?

Right now since I have been isolated, I am now the loner. Basically, I have been acting like a doormat before this trying to please people all the time so I will not get isolated.

Your problem is not pissing off this girl, no not by a long shot. You already said what your problem is. "...trying to please people all the time" I have a guy at work who does that. Nobody respects him and he works the hardest of them all. He knows what his problem is, just like you do, but he doesn't have the balls to do anything about it.

First of all, people will get pissed off at some point no matter what you do, unless of course you act like a doormat and try to fix things up right away. If I knmow I'm at fault and the other person was right, I will usually go and apologise later on, but this is a few hours later, not right away.

I avoid saying "I'm sorry" directly, I usually say what comes after it, like: "I was in a pissed off mood and you just happened to be there" or "It was only a joke, I didn't mean to offend you" I've patched things up this way a few times and I've gained their respect back.

Of course this is mainly with guys or well adjusted women, although women seem to always keep a grudge inside even though they say it's fine on the outside.

How to stop being a doormat:

First you have to realize that being a doormat comes from inside and it is mainly a need to be recognized a need for approval. This is mainly a hidden need but if you recognize it, you can do something about it.

Do little things outside of your normal line of work and when you succed, feel good about it. Beging to create an envirnment that draws people to you as a person without going out and declaring battle on this girl. And always keep on the lookout for recognition because more times than not, you're getting it and you're not aware of it.