how to avoid getting your date plans changed?

[drift king]

ok i've had this happened to me twice now and have no idea how to avoid it.

i make plans to go to a bar with a girl for her to suddenly announce to do something different i.e. to go eat somewhere.

i read a tip before about how you acknowledge her request if she wants to go somewhere she has seen while shes out with you but you're not suppose to succumb to her demands but take her there in future on your terms when you want to and are ready to.

i basically get stuck because i say we're going to a bar and she'll respond with 'i don't want to go to a bar'

what/how are you suppose to tackle this situation?

i dont want to seem difficult or laid back yet i ended up wasting money tonight taking this girl out to eat for me to just be friend zoned by the end of the night.

are you suppose to just tell her that she can go eat and that you're going to the bar anyway with or without her?

 

[Faded Image]

Before my married days, I never mad plans. I was a spur of the moment type of guy. I'd call a girl, tell her i'm going out somewhere within the hour and that she should swing through. If she showed, cool and if she didn't, that was cool as well because I knew there were going to be women there anyway.

 

[everywomanshero]

These are your pawns or? Why are you taking them to a bar? They probably want to go somewhere talkable so they can get a reading of things or maybe if they are horny and having good vibes. they are hoping you'll take them somewhere isolated. Bars are somewhere I take women out of, not to, unless they are not bangable.

Take them back to your place or a swingers club. That's what I'd do. Most bars have cover charges anyway, unless it's a real hole in the wall, in which case it would be talkable anyway.

 

[DJDamage]

i basically get stuck because i say we're going to a bar and she'll respond with 'i don't want to go to a bar'

Your response: "I really had my heart set about going to the bar tonight but if you don't want too then I will just go by myself".

Remember the more they like you the more they will be in an agreement with you and your plans.

 

[Rhoto]

i basically get stuck because i say we're going to a bar and she'll respond with 'i don't want to go to a bar'

what/how are you suppose to tackle this situation?

Her - I don't want to goto a bar
You - Thats fine. - You Exit in the direction of the bar -

Odds are, she'll follow.

Find some one else, in fact goto a poppin bar, and plop yourself down and order a drink. Act like you're waiting on some one or have something better to do. I guarantee that you will be approached.

A woman who does that is already telling you she isn't going to be having sex with you. But don't tell a woman what your plans are, ever. Just do, if she can't hang, she ain't worth it Dori Dori man.

 

[drift king]

i should have been more specific.. i was going to a bar which i knew would be empty and it has a good dark atmosphere with separate booths. it's usually the best place for me to kiss close as they have to sit next to me as oppose to opposite me where i can't kino them easily.

yeah that's the kind of answer i had in mind.. if she says she doesn't want to go to a bar i'll go anyway. i guess by me succumbing to her demands to go eat i gave away my power and respect?

it's difficult cos if she's complaining about being starving and not eaten dinner i don't know how to shut her up about eating.

 

[J Roc]

i dont want to seem difficult or laid back yet i ended up wasting money tonight taking this girl out to eat for me to just be friend zoned by the end of the night.

did you pay for her dinner?

 

[drift king]

did you pay for her dinner?

yes unfortunately mainly because she's foreign and in her country the man has to always pay (bullsh*t i know) but still in the past when i took out another girl from her nation and i didn't pay i suggested to split it i never saw her again.

i learned over the course of a year that with these 'traditional' girls they always expect the man to pay.. no matter how expensive or cheap it is. i've had to adapt my date plans in regards to paying depending where she's from.. from instance if she's scandivanian they get offended if a guy pays as they are frightfully independent.

 

[drift king]

There are two things going on here. First, a bar isn't the best date. You need action dates where the two of you are doing something. Walk around the lake, stop at the ice cream stand, chase ducks, pet dogs; or go karting, rock wall climbing, whatever. THEN, you stop by at a bar and warm her up with a drink and kino.

Secondly, you shouldn't be changing whatever plans you have at the last minute because a chick tells you to. Simply say adios and mean it and she'll usually cave. But the point is, the idea of going to a dive bar to sit in a cramped booth for 3 hours while you rub all over her doesn't sound that great to a chick until she's really into you; which it sounds like they aren't with you at this point.

you speak the truth. originally i was trying to arrange playing pool then going to a bar but she kept complaining about being hungry and last time i had difficulties trying to stick to plans i came across as difficult.

the bar i was taking her to was very plush and posh in a very expensive area of town, the trick not to spend vast amounts of money is to say you're not drinking and usually that means she won't want to drink alone so you won't be spending loads on expensive ****tails. i took that from the coffee date tip but applied it to a more formal setting.

she just wanted to yap yap the whole night and my date technique is still very basic as i don't know what to do on a date to escalate the attraction. i never have a problem approaching getting numbers but when it comes to the date or 2nd date i somehow get friend zoned and confused how or why. that's why i take them to a bar where i can sit right next to them and try to have intimate convo's where i can actually kino them.. coffee places are bad as i usually have to sit opposite and the only kino i can do is touch her leg under the table or her hands.

also because i keep getting friendzoned a lot of these girls seem to think we're meeting as 'friends' which p*sses me off so by me making moves in the bar shows my intentions.. if she's not with it then i walk away.

why are action dates better? i think i had that in mind when i was thinking of playing pool first.

 

[Axefield]

Oh man dude- Your word should be law, and if they give you crap about it you say, "maybe next time, but tonight I am going to a bar" If you don't want to come then, I'll talk to you later.

 

[J Roc]

yes unfortunately mainly because she's foreign and in her country the man has to always pay (bullsh*t i know) but still in the past when i took out another girl from her nation and i didn't pay i suggested to split it i never saw her again.

i learned over the course of a year that with these 'traditional' girls they always expect the man to pay.. no matter how expensive or cheap it is. i've had to adapt my date plans in regards to paying depending where she's from.. from instance if she's scandivanian they get offended if a guy pays as they are frightfully independent.

the men in HER country may be forced to pay but now she is in YOUR country. you dont have to pay a damn thing. if she is shallow enough to not go on a second date just because you didnt pay for her dinner then you should be hanging around her anyway. stop tricking your hard earned money on women who arent worthy. she has a job and can pay for her own meal..

 

[drift king]

it was a 2nd date, not a first date.. so i think the taking her to a nice bar was merited?

also she told me she wanted to go eat when i picked her up, i should have just taken her to the bar anyway screw that shes starving.

the thing is she's russian and they always expect men to pay no matter what, having said that because i had that in mind i didn't even give her the opportunity to offer to pay or split it.. does it really make a difference if you split it or not?

she'll see it as just being friends if we split it.. though i'd save the money and hassle of finding out later that i've been friend zoned.

 

[drift king]

Oh man dude- Your word should be law, and if they give you crap about it you say, "maybe next time, but tonight I am going to a bar" If you don't want to come then, I'll talk to you later.

do you mean for me to say that as soon as she announces it to me when i pick her up?

 

[Rhoto]

Don't ask her out for dinner. Ask her, "what time are you having dinner?"

Whatever she responds, arrange to have drinks after. Less money, higher chances of a sexual close. And tell her, this is America hun, you aren't worth the money until you prove it.