How to Ask a Girl to Be Your G/F

[mrRuckus]

You hand her a piece of paper that says "Will you be my girlfriend?"

Then you have 3 boxes for her to check off.... "Yes", "No" or "Maybe".

Haha, i had a girlfriend who was 21 at the time do that to me but she added an extra option of "i'm gay."

 

[mrRuckus]

i get where you're coming from. but it's still AFC to me to sit around and wait for her to act because you're afraid to

You at least know she really wants to be your girlfriend instead of caving in awkwardly since you asked and she wasn't sure and said yes just to keep you around long enough to decide.

And why would we want a girlfriend so bad if things in your little relationship are already pretty much at the level of bf/gf? Why do you need the security of a label? I thought women were the ones always seeking security. You know you have a girlfriend just by your and her actions... there's no reason to trade away your power by letting her know you "want it more" by asking her first, especially when there is no reason to ask... no benefit to the label. If she wants to be your girlfriend she will start to act the part herself and the label is nothing but ceremony.

I don't even think i can rationalize it or put it into words the reason why but "weel u bee my gurlfrend?" just sounds pathetic.

 

[Raikojo17]

You at least know she really wants to be your girlfriend instead of caving in awkwardly since you asked and she wasn't sure and said yes just to keep you around long enough to decide.

And why would we want a girlfriend so bad if things in your little relationship are already pretty much at the level of bf/gf? Why do you need the security of a label? I thought women were the ones always seeking security. You know you have a girlfriend just by your and her actions... there's no reason to trade away your power by letting her know you "want it more" by asking her first, especially when there is no reason to ask... no benefit to the label. If she wants to be your girlfriend she will start to act the part herself and the label is nothing but ceremony.

I don't even think i can rationalize it or put it into words the reason why but "weel u bee my gurlfrend?" just sounds pathetic.

you guys arent getting me. im not saying go all wuss and get on your knees to ask her if she be your girl. im just saying suggest it. tell her "how about u be my girl?" stills sounds like you're just protecting your fragile hearts by not suggesting it and establishing if she really likes you or not.

but a label is more secure than just guessing. now i know u would be pissed if said girl were to go with another guy while u were supposedly "together" and "spending so much time together that one would be stupid to say that you weren't together". then you would come here crying about how the girl u were with is a wh0re and sleeps with other guys. how the hell was she at fault? you were together right? u were at her house all the time right? you banged her bricks out right? wrong. in her mind you were never together. just a quick fling. you weren't bf/gf. you were just dating. so really you guys cant say sh1t about cheating, because it doesnt exist. she was never your gf, you just assumed it so. you know what the say about assumptions. it makes an ass out of you and me.
BRING UP THE DAMN SUBJECT. then you will know where you truely stand.

if you gus would stop obsessing over ths power crap you guys would get alot further with girls than just a one night stand.

real men do wat they want. that's power, not being held down by some unwritten code that it is the womans job to ask for a relatioship.

you guys seem more worried about controlling a woman instead of actually getting a girlfriend.

 

[Raikojo17]

and for fvcks sake. you're just asking her to be your girl. it's not like your getting married or anything. just poof "how about i be our bf". that simple. if you guys dont like it then you just break up. no legal or moral issues involved. and if she says no, then fvck her. find a girl who will say yes. find a chick that actually values a relationship instead of seeing it as a way to slow down her wh0ring.

maybe the reason you guys fail with this question is because you dont believe she'll say yes so you go all wuss about it. or maybe you ask on the first date or something i dont know. or maybe you ask the hoe at the bar yuo got last week. who knows.

 

[Raikojo17]

LET ME TELL YOU GUYS A STORY, PLEASE:

When I was 20 I got to know a girl. I wasn't into her that much in the beginning, but thought she was kinda good-looking and seemed to be nice. So we started dating. She was all over me. In the beginning I said something like I had never been in a relationship and that I was afraid to ever get into one (which was the truth) and she said something along the lines of 'we can work that out, can't we?'..or whatever.

She had always told me she had only wanted to see her former boyfriends like 3 or so times a week..more thant that would be too much for her. She was that kind of chick...

Then I stayed over at her house (we didn't even have sex, yet)..made out..fooling around blabla..we woke up the next day and had breakfast (her parents were gone) and she starts showing me where the friggin plates are saying: 'you better try to remember where they are. I'd like you to be here a lot more often in the future ))'.

She also said: 'I want this every single day from now on' (remember the type of girl who only wanted to see her boyfriends like 3 times a week blabla).

I remember walking home from her house to my home thinking to myself: "****..I don't even know if I wanna get with her and she's literally drooling over me as if we were a couple, yet"..it had me thinking like crazy until I decided I should be fair and give it a chance ;-).

Then my one friend keeps bothering me asking me if I'm together with that girl or what's going on between us (after he had seen us like 2-3 times). So I'm chatting with her on AIM as usual (THE SAME DAY I woke up at her house and she was drooling over me) and I tell her about my friend who asked me that question.

She says: "so what did you reply?"

Me: something along the lines of "I said, we weren't together, yet, but might be soon".

Her: Oh...so what makes you think that? I don't know about that, yet.

And from that point one she would only have time like once every 10 days (12 hours after saying: "I want this every day from now on" and showing me where the plates in her family's kitchen are). I ended up having oneitis and decided to never talk to her again.

That is until a year later or so lol..and then when I asked her about it she told me that..yea in the beginning she maybe wanted more..she didn't lie to me..but somehow her feelings must have changed blabla. (yeah they magically changed in the 12 hours between drooling over me and my brining up the exclusiveness topic).


I haven't read any book on "picking up" nor do I want to have slick game and watch what I say everytime I speak to a chick and overanalyze this stuff..that just wouldn't be fun. I am glad I learned the basics like 'be a man'..and dont act like a wussie thinking it's you, when it's really just what you were made to believe your whole life by holywood movies. Just like we are turned on by female chicks..the whole cute thing and stuff, most chicks are turned on by the male thing. Just like we dont want a dyke, they dont want a guy who's a wuss.

So that being sad, I really only care for the 'basics' and before that had happened to me, I might have said something similar like "you guys are overanalyzing this stuff! Either she wants to be with your or not! Simple as that!". But now, I'll never again be the first one to bring up the topic of exclusiveness LOL.

P.S.: During the 4 years that passed I also remember a female friend of mine dating this guy..and she was always completely wondering if they were together or not..like when I asked her she was like "I don't know.." and "we've been dating for a few months, now, but I dont know..weve never talked about it...so im not sure"...and it was like close to a year later, when she was finally convinced that they were boyfriend and girlfriend (they're still together). Maybe she wouldn't have turned him down if he had brought the topic up...maybe most chicks aren't as extreme as the one I had to deal with..but I could sure tell the whole wondering if the guy would be her boyfriend or if not did get her panties wet lol.

there you go. you just assumed it so. in her mind you werent together. just another fling. you did nothing above fooling around. how is that a relationship?

im all for being mysterious as im not a very open person. but you cant keep up these games forever. at some point you and your girl are gonna have to have a sit down and disscus these things. wat would dating 10 years without an official label do for you anyways? nothing. she aint your girl, ya'll just hangout together alot and happen to kiss and have sex. kissing and having sex doesnt define a relationship. they come with it, but wat defines a relationship is agreement and feelings. and if you guys haven't agreed to go exclusive yet, then ya'll aint together. so dont cry when she "cheats" on you. you have no right to be jealous or even possessive. ya'll aint exclusive.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...
real men do wat they want. that's power, not being held down by some unwritten code that it is the womans job to ask for a relatioship.....

Ahh, the power of the AFC. Because he does what he wants he defines himself as a man. It doesn't matter whether or not it works, just that he was stubborn enough not to consider the advice of others. So he continues on being a man by his own accord, still looking for a girlfriend....

Here's a damn good example of a guy who does what works instead of what's conventional; Gene Simmons. The guy has a great home life and great kids in a LTR with a woman who he isn't married to.

Did he ask Geri Hall to be his girlfriend? Nope, she established herself as one by impressing him early on and continuously impress him. He's able to sustain a rocker's lifestyle without all of the limitations that the security of a defined marriage would give him.

Fool yourself with the security of words, it's the actions of the couple that matters most. How many people have agreed to the words "Til death do us part" who have eventually divorced? More than half. Actions speak louder than words.

 

[Raikojo17]

^^no, and AFC does not do wat he wants. he does wat he thinks will get him laid. he doesnt do the things he does out of confidence. he does them out of insecurity. hoping that his hard work will get him reassurance with the girl that he likes and maybe one day his money time and attention will pay off and the girl will be his gf.

 

[Raikojo17]

Fool yourself with the security of words, it's the actions of the couple that matters most. How many people have agreed to the words "Til death do us part" who have eventually divorced? More than half. Actions speak louder than words.

yea they do. but if they divorced then it wasnt a real marraige in the first place.
no amount of "action" could have changed the views of the couple. they would've left each other anyway.

so i say stop fooling yourself with assumptions and the supposed "action". when you could have both word and action to assure you.

 

[fedagent]

AFC's of the world demand to know at what point the women belong to them. AFC's need reassurance to know that they have been chosen by the woman to be theirs forever and true.

A man doesn't look for a "gf", for that directly implies exclusivity. That is the woman's role, to seek comfort in knowing they are the chosen one to be protected first and foremost among all of the women in the man's life.

A man seeks to spread his seed, he doesn't look for only one spot to plant his crop. A woman bears the crop, she carries the child to term and then raises it to adulthood. She needs to know that he will be there EXCLUSIVELY to raise that child and support both of them. Such is the nature of man and woman.

What does this mean to us as men? It means that never do we seek exclusivity from a woman by asking her to select us as their one. They will be the one's to ask you. If you need reassurance from them then you have placed her on a pedestal. Turn in your DJ badge now and rejoin the matrix.

If you find you really need to satisfy the inner AFC in you and you need to know if she will be yours, talk to other women around her, attract others. She will seal the deal with you before another can step in and steal her prize.

Fed

 

[Raikojo17]

^^^ selecting her as wat? your gf? thats not the ultimate selection. it's not like ur bonded by the hip if you ask.

really wat's more AFC? calling a girl your gf when you dont really even know yourself? or asking her to be exclusive?

really, jus ask. wats so hard about that? wat have you got to lose? some dumb b1tch? well let me tell you that there are plenty more of them out there.

believe me, a girl that's actually worth your time and really cares about you will be your gf, no questions asked. y

 

[fedagent]

really wat's more AFC? calling a girl your gf when you dont really even know yourself? or asking her to be exclusive.

It matters not one bit which is MORE AFC, because BOTH are AFC

really, jus ask. wats so hard about that? wat have you got to lose? some dumb b1tch? well let me tell you that there are plenty more of them out there.

There is a dichotomy in this statement. What have you got to lose you say?......Well, you can lose the woman you are so concerned about. Yes you are concerned about her if YOU have to ask HER to be exclusive. To an AFC who feels they need to ask this question, she isn't just some "dumb b1tch".

Be a man, women love men. Men talk to many prospects, the woman's actions afterwards will tell you your answer better than asking her to choose you.

Fed

 

[Raikojo17]

^^ she's a dumb b1tch if you have to play stupid games to get her, and if you have to assume that she is your girl



the name of the game is to talk to many girls until you find one that's worth your time in a relationship. if she's really worth it then she wont turn your question down. by doing that your're selecting her, not the other way around.
asking every dumb hor that gives you a date to be you gf is asking them to select you.

sort through the trash to find the treasure. that's wat im getting at with asking a girl to be your gf. because by the time you find one worth asking, you'll know that she's worth keeping around. not because she was willing to go on 50 dates with you, but because she has shown you that she is better than others.

 

[bigjohnson]

sort through the trash to find the treasure. that's wat im getting at ....

But how can he know if she's really the one for him, his true soulmate .......... BARF :cuss:

 

[Raikojo17]

But how can he know if she's really the one for him, his true soulmate .......... BARF :cuss:

there's no such thing as a soul mate. there are many women who are compatible with any one man. im just saying find one.

 

[bigjohnson]

Be sure to ask if she likes your car, your job, your shoes and so on. You should ask for reassurance on every possible aspect you can think of, because girls love guys who lack confidence. Be sure to look at your toes a lot and speak very very quietly. </sarcasm>

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

AFC's of the world demand to know at what point the women belong to them.

:crackup: True... SO true....

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

... there are many women who are compatible with any one man. ...

With a little training, I agree...

 

[Interceptor]

I don't even think i can rationalize it or put it into words the reason why but "weel u bee my gurlfrend?" just sounds pathetic

.


This is the general consensus of many Men.
You will AFC your way out of her heart and lose what could have been a great relationship.
Doing this lowers her Interest Level. Makes you less of a Challenge too.
We do what needs to be done to RAISE her Interest Level, NOT LOWER IT. The exclusiivity thing should be a REWARD to her, a SURPRISE!

Doing this (asking her to be your GF) kills MYSTERY!



Now if you're dealing with a really messed up woman, you're beter off dropping her altogether. But then again, an AFC would never do that!


Men need to stop listening to their badly informed Ego and learn what to really do with a woman.

 

[Sesar]

Ah this is Nice.. Thread...

I am Also involved in 3 Different Chics.. I'm Taking it Easy and just Letting Everything Flow Nice and Smoothly.. They all Know.. that i am Dating other Gurls... but they are Ok to Spend time wif Me, Plus i get to Meet Her Friends.. n Increase my Social Circle.. n meet New People n More People.. which in then give Me More Options.. to Plant My Seed ;-)

I don't ask if they are my GF or Wat.. i Just Assume and Act Like it.. Some People ask if we r Toghether.. nah we r just friends... n Stuff... n i still keep seeing them..



But the Best thing about it is... it Happens when u Least Expect it, It's when i Stopped Trying... and just got Comfortable in My Own Space..


I have this Feeling i'm Gonna b with Someon in the Next 6 month or So N i don't even Know it Yet.. But it's Coming... I CAN Feel iT hehhehe



-SeS
(P.S. I'm Startin to Get It on a Deeper Level.. N just Using Natural Game)

 

[CORVETTE06]

thank you for all of your responses.

I read through all of them and it seems like its goin both ways whether to ask her or not.

I think a lot of it depends on the girl. The girl that I have been goin out wit the past month and a half is a Very nice girl. Everytime i hung out with her, i see her parents (who are very nice to me) and talk to them.

I think she might be a little Unaggressive? I dont think she will ask me to be her boyfriend... When i talk to her she talks about hanging out with me all summer....

After reading these posts, I am still left with the same question...

Do I ask her since she might be shy and doesnt want to ask me?

Do I say something that indirectly hints towards it, and see how she responds and make my next move based on her response?

Or Do I still continue to just keep it cool?