How to approach the first email??

[MrNiceGuy]

ok, what approach do I take with this? Last week hosted a houseparty and got chatting to a chick there who was a friend of one of my flatmates friends, we had a fair amount in common, especially the music we liked although her initial friendliness may be due to, illicit.. ahem.. substances, not sure about that tho.
Anyway, I meant to get her number but got very very drunk and didn't really speak to her again. A few more details are in this thread.. but its not really necessary unless you're really interested, http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?threadid=84227

My flatmate offered to ask for her email off his friend tho, so I said "sure, why not". here's what he forwarded to me on friday..

-----------------------------------
From the friend to my flatmate...

Hey,

Some people are lucky having two bludgy days off work. I have been working so much I think I have officially gone mad, definitely having trouble communicating. As for Chris I think you would be better able to answer your own question.

I am only giving you Jack's e-mail address on the proviso that Tom lets me in on any of the gigs as well.

xxxxx@*****

I hate missing out on anything and especially love going to live gigs.

from my flatmate to his friend:

-----Original Message-----
Hey Kate,

How’s it going? I’ve just been off work for two days cos of man-flu. Reckon the party wrecked my body so much the little germs had a chance to attack so they took it.

Anyway, the main purpose for the email (apart from asking “how’s chris?” (ain’t I a *****?)) is for Jackie’s email. Tom wants to let her in on some gigs and stuff cos they were talking about clubbin’ stuff all night. Do you have it?

Hope you’re having a good day

Lee

x

so, despite the fact that me and this chick were talking about dance music and the different clubs and DJs we liked, my flatmate has suddenly turned me into a live music trips co-ordinator, I haven't got any gigs or anything coming up that I'm planning on going too, but he's made it sound like I'm off to loads of different things and want her to come along.. At the moment I reckon my best bet is to get a mate or two up for coming along to see a DJ I like (and I know this chick will like) on firday, email this girl, see if she wants to come along (with her mates), then from there get her # so we can go out for a drink alone in the future.. Still, I'm not sure if thats the best option or not, plus I'm more than likely to get "I'm busy this friday" since its short notice.. I dunno, still, she probably knows I got her email on friday, so I best use it within the next day or two.. any suggestions people???

 

[MrNiceGuy]

ok, my original plan is out.. most of my good mates are away or otherwise engaged this weekend, so chances of me organising a night were we do exactly what I want are slim.. not good.. may have to just use the email to get in touch, give her some info about some good cds/clubs to check out, say I'm busy this weekend and suggest meeting at some point in the future.. I hate this stage in the game.. getting things started is so hard..

 

[NewMan]

Why does it have to be so diificult?

why not just email her, tell her that you were digging the convo you guys had, and want to hook up with her for some ****tails on XXXday.

Make it simple and straight to the point. Why bother coming up with some big deal about going to see a band? Just ask her - it's reall less of a time waster for you.

 

[ev3nst3v3n]

i say be blunt. if you get the email address, just say there was a misunderstanding and you really wanted to get her email address because you meant to ask her for her phone number because you want to see if she's down to hang out sometime. thats not coming on too strong, its just stating your intentions. i would rather do that than play some silly game like 'oh yea im busy this weekend but maybe we can hang out in the future' or some cripe. if she's interested, you'll find out.

but the big thing here is from now on, NEVER FORGET TO ASK FOR THE DIGITS!

 

[ev3nst3v3n]

me and newman are basically saying the same thing, word.

ask that b1tch out for drinks bro! don't make it more difficult than it needs to be.

 

[MrNiceGuy]

exactly, whats the worst that can happen?? obviously you realise the reason for me making such a big deal of this is my lack of confidence in myself as someone girls are interested in dating, I'm convinced (thru past experience of acting like a wussy AFC) that girls aren't interested in being more than just friends (unless of course they get really obvious), which basically holds back my game and becomes a self fulfilling prophecy..

I've gotta get into the mentality of going for it sooner rather than later, otherwise I just end up sliding slowly into the friendzone and wondering how it all went so wrong..

Ok, new plan.. one of my buddies is around this weekend, so.. email her, tell her we're going off to such and such a thing, does she wanna come.. if yes, great, I see her, possibly try and make a move, but definitely get digits with view to meet for one on one drinks in the future.. if on the other hand she says, no busy this weekend, or whatever, I suggest meeting for a drink next week.. job done..

 

[MrNiceGuy]

ok.. no reply to my email.. initial reaction was well never mind at least I had a go.. she was obviously only so friendly since she was probably on coke..

Although yesterday my flatmate said something about how he vaguely remembered the girls saying they were off on holiday this week, so it could be she hasn't even read it yet.. so option still exists..