How to approach girl in class

[Collegeguy]

Hi y'all!

This is actually my first post in the DJ forums, and I've joined to seek help!

To make a long story short, there's a girl in my class at college who I'm interested in. However, there's not much opportunity to approach her during class as the prof talks for most of de time, and during group discussions or projects, she belongs to another group. To top it off, she has a tendency to leave really quickly as soon as class is over.

Now I've been interested in her for a while, but she actually stopped comin to class for quite a while, and just came back recently. I'd really like to get to know her, but I don't know the right way!

(Btw, I HAVE read the DJ bible, but need more help on this)

Should I try to catch her in the hallway after class is over? But wouldn't it startle her if I just tapped her on the shoulder in the hallway and said "Hey, howya doin?"

Also, the situation is somewhat more complicated by the fact that classes have been going on since Sept, and I haven't said a word to her before. Would it appear odd if I approached her now? Or am I thinking too much XD

I'd really appreciate any helpful tips. For now though, I'm probably just gonna tell my friends I gotta leave first, try to catch her in the hallway, give her a tap and a howdy, then go from there.

This good enough? Or anything else I should take into consideration?

As you guys can probably tell, I've been outta the dating game for quite a while, even though I'm only 19 (last gf when I was 17).

 

[Logen]

I sense much fear in you. You must stop thinking about something being awkward or looking stupid. You must simply do it. at the end of class, follow her, run after her if you must. Then just stop her and start talking . introduce yourself, ask for her name. Be a little ****y. You’ll do fine.

 

[Bill]

Do not wait till the end of class. As a matter of fact, stop waiting and act.

When you enter the room, calmly walk to her and start a simple conversation; then, try a number close (I'd suggest asking her if she'd be willing to go out for a coffee or something). If she says no, move; if she says yes, call her a couple days later to set up a date.

Basically, I feel your problem is with the approach. It's not easy at first, but you'll get the hang of it. You just really, really need to get rid of your fears, for it's all in your head.

Do a search on the "three second rule"; you'll see what I mean by act, don't wait.

-Bill

 

[mungro]

hey man, I graduated college not too long ago, so I remember the trepidation you feel well.

while it may seem like a big deal to you, walking up to a girl and tapping her shoulder or saying something isn't as big of a deal as you may think.

I remember not being able to get around that fact, but by the end of college I would walk up to girls I saw from class and just start talking. it doesn't matter how far into the semester it is, or whether she's seen you before or not.

One of my typical lines as corny as it may be was just, "so how do you feel about this test coming up?" or even a simple, "man that lecture today was brutal wasn't it? I think I was knocked out like 5 minutes into it." As you may have heard before, it doesn't matter what you say, but rather how you say it... just be open and confident like you're just talking to an old buddy.

I don't know about u, but when you see her, just start talking to her before you have enough time to build up fear, its like ripping off a bandaid, it will be over before you know it.

 

[Collegeguy]

Thanks for the replies.

Yea...After reading your replies, I realize that there is quite a bit of nervousness and fear in me, mainly due to the fact that I haven't dated or even asked a girl out in almost two years.

In fact, a quarter of the reason I'm approaching this girl is because I've been out of the dating game waaaaay too long for a guy my age. Friends are starting to question my sexual orientation XD

As for approaching this gal, I'm probably gonna do it after class, cause our classroom is set up kinda odd. Hard to explain, but its basically a row of circular seats facing the center, so there's not way I could talk to her unless I stood in the center or sat next to her (which I can't as we have assigned seatings for our groups).

Bleh, looks like I won't be able to apply the 3-second rule in this case. But I'll definitely catch her after class.

Thanks again for the replies. You guys will probably be seeing me around these forums as I might need more help later on in this possible relationship

 

[Logen]

(pardon the grammer, it's real late)

why not just sit next to her anyway? the person whose seat you steal may not care. and if he does then just move, but do it in a cool and ****y manner. man, do it with style.

"oh this is your seat? man i had no idea. you must love this seat a lot to ask somebody to move from it"

or

"i know this is your assigned seat but just ask yourself. if everything was assigned in life, would your really be taking this class? or would you be insisting that assigned seats are assigned for a reason on the national academic assigned seats committee, which also has assigned seats"

man, say something like this and it will totally rock her world. The guy will probably insist so you would get up and simply tell the girl “wait for me after class” in a cool and simple voice.

I cant see this failing. You’ll show her you’re a badass and somebody that can handle that sort of situation in a cool way. she’ll definitely wait after class for you.

You don’t have to do this, but think, it will probably work, you will score the alpha male badass points, and you’ll have something to talk about after class.

Good luck man!

 

[Collegeguy]

I LIKE that!

But man, I'll be honest: I dont have the balls to go that far, unless... I drank some Jack D's for courage XD Which is a bad idea when you're in class!

I should mention too, the class is always super-duper silent before the prof starts talking. So if I did this bold stunt, everyone in class would be hearing it.

I know, i know...I'm wussing out. But it's just not my style Hell if I could do that, I'd almost be a DJ by now!

Good suggestion though Logen.

 

[mikeb1205]

i do this all the time

walk up to them on a day you have something small due that is worth like 5 10 points and dont do it. go to class looking like you had a late night. you said she hasnt been coming lately so i would say shes a partier or a night owl. go up to her b4 class and tell her you dont remember if you had anything due. when she tells you what was due. just say damn i didnt do it and go from there

 

[kk2004]

hm..

""i know this is your assigned seat but just ask yourself. if everything was assigned in life, would your really be taking this class? or would you be insisting that assigned seats are assigned for a reason on the national academic assigned seats committee, which also has assigned seats"


what does that mean..lol. I didnt get that

 

[Collegeguy]

kk2004:

Means in other words:

"do you really care that much about this seat?"

 

[Freeman]

Originally posted by Collegeguy
Hi y'all!

This is actually my first post in the DJ forums, and I've joined to seek help!

To make a long story short, there's a girl in my class at college who I'm interested in. However, there's not much opportunity to approach her during class as the prof talks for most of de time, and during group discussions or projects, she belongs to another group. To top it off, she has a tendency to leave really quickly as soon as class is over.

Now I've been interested in her for a while, but she actually stopped comin to class for quite a while, and just came back recently. I'd really like to get to know her, but I don't know the right way!

(Btw, I HAVE read the DJ bible, but need more help on this)

Should I try to catch her in the hallway after class is over? But wouldn't it startle her if I just tapped her on the shoulder in the hallway and said "Hey, howya doin?"

Also, the situation is somewhat more complicated by the fact that classes have been going on since Sept, and I haven't said a word to her before. Would it appear odd if I approached her now? Or am I thinking too much XD

I'd really appreciate any helpful tips. For now though, I'm probably just gonna tell my friends I gotta leave first, try to catch her in the hallway, give her a tap and a howdy, then go from there.

This good enough? Or anything else I should take into consideration?

As you guys can probably tell, I've been outta the dating game for quite a while, even though I'm only 19 (last gf when I was 17).

Look man I promise you this: Sometimes the corniest sh*t works on these chicks-for example my Swahili class-there's this one cheerleader chick that I was diggin and everything-one time after class I caught up with her...I walked behind her close enough for her to hear me say, "Jambo Bibi"-thats hello woman in Swahili-and she turned around and smiled-ICEBREAKER-then I asked her if she wanted to go Starbucks she accepted-we talked for about an hour then I went on to work with her phone number---So the point of this is simple:Sometimes its the dumb shi* that works-nothing complicated or fancy-no amazing one liner-just plain ole humor will get ya there...this is what I always lived by- if she's diggin ya then she wont make it too difficult for you to get with her..so go ahead have fun with it-say some goofy shi*-not too goofy though-just something that'll break that invisble barrier between the 2 of you-making her laugh is typically the best way...Good Luck!

"Turn Fear Into Curiousity"

 

[syncmaster]

Originally posted by Collegeguy
Hi y'all!

This is actually my first post in the DJ forums, and I've joined to seek help!

To make a long story short, there's a girl in my class at college who I'm interested in. However, there's not much opportunity to approach her during class as the prof talks for most of de time, and during group discussions or projects, she belongs to another group. To top it off, she has a tendency to leave really quickly as soon as class is over.

Now I've been interested in her for a while, but she actually stopped comin to class for quite a while, and just came back recently. I'd really like to get to know her, but I don't know the right way!

(Btw, I HAVE read the DJ bible, but need more help on this)

Should I try to catch her in the hallway after class is over? But wouldn't it startle her if I just tapped her on the shoulder in the hallway and said "Hey, howya doin?"

Also, the situation is somewhat more complicated by the fact that classes have been going on since Sept, and I haven't said a word to her before. Would it appear odd if I approached her now? Or am I thinking too much XD

I'd really appreciate any helpful tips. For now though, I'm probably just gonna tell my friends I gotta leave first, try to catch her in the hallway, give her a tap and a howdy, then go from there.

This good enough? Or anything else I should take into consideration?

As you guys can probably tell, I've been outta the dating game for quite a while, even though I'm only 19 (last gf when I was 17).

In class throw a paper airplane at her w/ a message on it telling her to wait until after class. She'll laugh - it's original and you can chat w/ her then.

 

[AmIAFC]

What you have to realize is that women are equally -- if not more so -- bored of lectures than a guy is. They're talkative creatures, so if someone tries to engage in a conversation with them, they're eager -- almost too eager -- to chat. That's what women do --- they yap. Don't take their regular grim/bored/tired expressions as some defensive mechanism on their part to ward off guys from talking to them (I used to believe that was true) or as a warning flag for you to NOT approach them.

They love to talk. And if you hold their interest and show interest, by next lecture, they'll be sitting next to you automatically, regardless of where you sit. As a test, sit at a desk either a row behind or a row ahead of your regular seat (before she comes into the classroom), and if she comes to sit next to you after she spots you, you're in.

 

[Lifeforce]

Get there late, sit down and talk to her. Wait with getting the number or she'll wonder where the hell you crawled up from. Talk for her a couple of times and then take her out = no barriers who'll hinder you.

 

[Collegeguy]

Well it's over and done with.

As I've said before, there is no way to talk to her in class unless I sit in someone else's seat, which I don't want to do.

After class, she left really fast as usual, and I chased after her, tapped her on the shoulder and say "Hey."

When she turned around, she had a real "what the hell do you want look," and she said "What is it?" before I could even say howdy.

Well I just sorta shrugged and said the regular "How you doing?" Whereup on she gave a "fiiiiiiiiine" reply hinting that she was still wondering what the hell I wanted. I introduced myself, asked her name, and asked where she was headed, whereupon her tone turned even more "what the hell" with a "I'm going home....??"

At this point, I was sure that this gal would NOT give me her number. But regardless, I was determined to ask newayz, and I asked "How bout giving me your # before you go?" It was then that she sorta relaxed and said "Oh...okay" gave me her number, I thanked her, said cya later, and that was the end of it.

I kept getting the feeling that I was doing something wrong though, as she really gave me the "what the hell do you want" tone.

I guess her giving me her # shows that she's not totally put off by me though, but I can't help thinking that I did something wrong in this approach?

I like to learn from my mistakes, but in this case, I'm not too sure what it was. Help me out guys! =)

 

[Downrock27]

Hey.. you did it man.. either way you went ahead and did it regardless of the results. I'm in the same situation and this is inspiration to go through with it no matter what.

 

[Shiftkey]

Collegeguy, congrats on grabbing your balls and taking action. That's way more than most guys would do.

If I were in that situation, I would have called her on her bad attitude (with a joke if I could think of one or at least a grin). I also would have introduced myself as being in her class, and went for a mini-date close instead of the number. I wish you luck, but I honestly don't think you're going to get a date out of that number. You didn't establish any kind of rapport and the only thing you have going for you at this point is your looks.

I know most guys around here would say keep the phone convo short and to the point (at least when I used to post here more often...), but I would suggest trying to build a little more rapport on your first phone call before trying to set anything up.

 

[Collegeguy]

Errr....yea, so I thinked I messed things up big time XD

See, when i asked her for her number, I entered it into my cellphone, but a couple minutes later when i checked my cell again, the number was no longer in my phonebook (this has happened before).

Yup, so a very stupid move which I've kicked myself for. I knew full well that I should've wrote it on paper, but still entered it into my unreliable cellphone. At first, I was pretty sure of what the number was, so I just entered it into my cell again and let it go at that. But when I tried phoning her yestereday, turns out I had entered the wrong number after all.

So! You guys have any suggestions as to how I can fix this stupid mess I created? XD Or should I just forget about this whole thing? I'd still like to get to know her, but I have a feeling she won't respond very well to my "Hey, I tried calling at ***-****, but it's not your #?"

Btw, I only see her fridays.

 

[j8snx1]

hey collegeguy,

I think your approach sort of went awkward when you "shrugged" and simply said "how ya doing."
I'm willing to bet she thought you had nothing better to do or something =) (not much help with that one!)

However, it would have been more effective if you asked something relevant to what the class lecture was about, or how boring/fun the lecture was.

EX:

YOU: Hey there! Can I ask you a question?
GIRL: What is it?
YOU: Would you say that the lecture was more towards fun or boring?
GIRL: (can either say FUN or BORING, and u can pick it up from there and agree with what she said)

then you can ask WHY she thought it was fun/boring, and what she loved/hated about the lecture, etc etc. it branches out as the convo moves along.

I'm not a keyboard jockey here, but I think that's what I would have done in your situation.

 

[Centaurion]

1) NEVER EVER run after a chick

2) Never approach a chick from behind, it scares them.

3) Read the bible.