How to act with female friends?

[PlatoPacks23]

Your strategy is wrong and they treat you like this because they know that you actually want to fvck them but don't have the balls to tell them or make a move so you are seen as weak by them.

I've definitely had situations where I've tried to make moves (ask them out) and it's a mixed response and I don't think any respect was gained lol.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

There is no such thing as "female friends" for a man. For a woman "male friends" exist, because a woman uses a man as a utility tool. But men don't need women they same way, they just need them for sex and babies.

That's a bleak view.

And I know from personal experience that men can use women as a utility tool as well, just not with the promise of sex. Women are motivated by different things and if you know how to manipulate that, you can easily 'use' women, even without their knowledge.

 

[user252009]

I only socialise with female "friends" where I see the benefit of preselection of other women I'd wanna bang via these "friends"

 

[BadBoy89]

That's a bleak view.

And I know from personal experience that men can use women as a utility tool as well, just not with the promise of sex.

With what though?

Men can take care of themselves. Women can't. In my experience, if a man asks a woman for help, he would ask a semi attractive one with the possibility of sex. He wouldn't ask a menopausal woman with 2 kids.

 

[HaleyBaron]

With what though?

Men can take care of themselves. Women can't. In my experience, if a man asks a woman for help, he would ask a semi attractive one with the possibility of sex. He wouldn't ask a menopausal woman with 2 kids.

I actually had to tell a female acquaintance that she was a bad wingman for a friend of mines. Told straight to her face that men make the better wingman cause she can't be objective. I even proved it to her by telling her why she kept sending him to the ugly ones instead of the prettier girls. And then not actually assisting with the hookup.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

That's a bleak view.

And I know from personal experience that men can use women as a utility tool as well, just not with the promise of sex. Women are motivated by different things and if you know how to manipulate that, you can easily 'use' women, even without their knowledge.

I keep saying this, and men seem to keep ignoring this despite it being common knowledge, but there is no single thing a man can do that will raise his attractiveness more to women than the social proof that being around a female provides, even if she's your friend (and as long as she's moderately good looking).

I do have to ask though, what do they get out of it? Attention? How do you frame such a relationship in a way that's not one sided? Is it all manipulation, or can you basically come to an understanding that it's a "mutually beneficial friendship"? I've tried it with women who liked me and that obviously backfired...I've yet to try it with women I really like, but I still want to try it, though obviously I need to meet them through a social circle type of thing if i'm gonna do it.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I keep saying this, and men seem to keep ignoring this despite it being common knowledge, but there is no single thing a man can do that will raise his attractiveness more to women than the social proof that being around a female provides, even if she's your friend (and as long as she's moderately good looking).

I do have to ask though, what do they get out of it? Attention? How do you frame such a relationship in a way that's not one sided? Is it all manipulation, or can you basically come to an understanding that it's a "mutually beneficial friendship"? I've tried it with women who liked me and that obviously backfired...I've yet to try it with women I really like, but I still want to try it, though obviously I need to meet them through a social circle type of thing if i'm gonna do it.

Look into the meaning of “pick me” girls. In my opinion, having 3 of these is enough.

The theory behind it is that desire is both imitative (we tend to like what others like) and competitive (we want to take what others have). By making yourself sought after, people will compete for your attention and try to monopolize it.

If women see you with other women—whether friends, family, or even props—the mere presence of these others signals that you are prized and desirable, making you a man worth pursuing. When a woman places herself in your inner circle, it reflects her own desirability and enhances her vanity and self-esteem. In essence, it’s all about reputation; it’s a symbiotic relationship that benefits everyone involved, and at the same time, it is a social illusion.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Look into the meaning of “pick me” girls. In my opinion, having 3 of these is enough.

The theory behind it is that desire is both imitative (we tend to like what others like) and competitive (we want to take what others have). By making yourself sought after, people will compete for your attention and try to monopolize it.

If women see you with other women—whether friends, family, or even props—the mere presence of these others signals that you are prized and desirable, making you a man worth pursuing. When a woman places herself in your inner circle, it reflects her own desirability and enhances her vanity and self-esteem. In essence, it’s all about reputation; it’s a symbiotic relationship that benefits everyone involved, and at the same time, it is a social illusion.

I'm not sure if I'm getting your point...but my takeaway is that if you have a female "friend" who you "use" to hit on other women in front her, the idea is that the 3 of you will suddenly have more social clout collectively, and the more women involved the better...the benefit from the female "friends" is more clout/attention for them, I guess. Sometimes I really cannot wrap my head around how women function, but constantly reminding myself that attention is to women is what oxygen is to men, it makes sense.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Sometimes I really cannot wrap my head around how women function....

Given that our capacity to comprehend someone else's mind is pretty limited, it's shrewd of us to devote a substantial portion of our energy towards identifying our own thoughts and beliefs, then interrogating them for truthfulness. Otherwise, we end up devastated by the emotional equivalent of a paper cut, like so https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/i-didnt-think-women-could-hurt-me-anymore.282998/

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I do have to ask though, what do they get out of it? Attention? How do you frame such a relationship in a way that's not one sided? Is it all manipulation, or can you basically come to an understanding that it's a "mutually beneficial friendship"? I've tried it with women who liked me and that obviously backfired...I've yet to try it with women I really like, but I still want to try it, though obviously I need to meet them through a social circle type of thing if i'm gonna do it.

That's a lot of questions in one paragraph, but the most important is 'what do they get out of it'?
It's not just attention, it's my attention. Attention they have to earn. And they get to be in my company within the larger social circles. People enjoy being in my company, but I don't just pay attention to every woman, so they need to earn my attention, which makes it more valuable than the attention they get for free, for having T&A. T&A is not enough to get my attention, so they need to put in some effort.

How do you frame such a relationship in a way that's not one sided? Is it all manipulation, or can you basically come to an understanding that it's a "mutually beneficial friendship"?

It's a relationship dynamic. Most women are looking at me for a dynamic where they can be in my company. I'm not looking for sex, so having sex with me is not enough to get into my company. They feel stimulated in my company, so they need to do something to stimulate me in return. And how they do that is different for every woman, no dynamic with me is the same.

 

[Vanderdonck]

I do have to ask though, what do they get out of it? Attention? How do you frame such a relationship in a way that's not one sided? Is it all manipulation, or can you basically come to an understanding that it's a "mutually beneficial friendship"? I've tried it with women who liked me and that obviously backfired...I've yet to try it with women I really like, but I still want to try it, though obviously I need to meet them through a social circle type of thing if i'm gonna do it.

I wouldn't overthink it. They get companionship and good times, a chance to bask in the glow of a real man, and if it strikes them, some competitive tingles and a possible hookup. If they're not attracted or available they also get the satisfaction of hooking you up with their friends. (But they're always a little attracted.) If two people are having fun, that's what life's all about. They can orbit me as long as their presence is a net positive.

 

[HaleyBaron]

As someone who went from sometimes having females around me to having them a lot around me on incident, having them does increase your social status. Men and women want to be with you more cause they see you as fun and validated. Before my awareness days, I was "friends with women" thinking they were the same as being friends with men. Nope. Found out how expendable I was by them. Thankfully I am an academic so I flocked to the internet to figure out why women are so mean instead of getting into deep depression, blackpill, or suicide like some unfortunate souls.

Now I just call it female nature and it has made my life so easy. Everything opposite works on them and the benefit of it all is that I do not have to compromise my values.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I'm not sure if I'm getting your point...but my takeaway is that if you have a female "friend" who you "use" to hit on other women in front her, the idea is that the 3 of you will suddenly have more social clout collectively, and the more women involved the better...the benefit from the female "friends" is more clout/attention for them, I guess. Sometimes I really cannot wrap my head around how women function, but constantly reminding myself that attention is to women is what oxygen is to men, it makes sense.

I think the confusion might stem from different interpretations of what a "female friend" actually is. When I talk about female friends, I’m referring to female acquaintances—people who are kept at arm’s length, like co-workers, old high school friends, family, or casual acquaintances you might see at social gatherings. These are not necessarily close personal friends, but people you interact with in a way that signals you are socially desirable.

The dynamic here is more about how you present yourself socially and how people perceive you. Seduction, in this sense, isn’t just about actively hitting on people. It’s about drawing people in and creating the desire for them to pursue and connect with you. We all crave validation, attention, and connection to thrive. Your attractiveness—whether through charisma, charm, humor, sexual energy, or even sensitivity—plays a huge role in how others are drawn to you, whether as a friend or something more.

Male friends are also handy in this context because they elevate your status and social standing, which is arguably one of the most important attractors. Being seen as popular and well-connected can boost your reputation and make you appear more desirable to others, regardless of gender.

The theory isn't really about deliberately using a female "friend" to hit on other women. Rather, it's about the perception of being sought after. Having female acquaintances (or friends) signals that you're desirable, in the same way a long line outside a popular restaurant suggests the food must be good. If you're a man surrounded by women, people will naturally think you're worth pursuing.

Think of it this way: at a social event, if a man is isolated, without attention or admirers, it reinforces the idea that he's not desirable. But a woman surrounded by admirers creates a positive feedback loop—her popularity attracts more attention, which increases her desirability.

So, it’s not about using someone else to get attention. It’s about the social signals that are sent and how they increase your appeal to others.

@Vanderdonck said it best.

PS: Appearing to be desired by others will raise your value, but how you carry yourself matters too—don't let your see you too often; keep your distance and seem unattainable, because an object that is rare and hard to obtain is generally more prized.