How to act with female friends?

[JuanSama]

Lately, I've had the opportunity to make some female friends. And I mean friend-only because I think that having female friends could be good for my SMV, and also facilitate the process of meeting plates.

But I noticed that you can't really be friends with women because when I act the same as I do with my male friends, they start to treat me like ****. They're gonna start doing **** like:

1. Take forever to reply to messages.
2. Only contact me when they need something.
3. Ghost me.
4. **** test me.
5. Disrespect me in public.

I thought that if I'm not ****ing them, I might as well let loose and open up more. For example, I tend to share stuff about myself quite a bit and also ask them a lot of questions to learn about them. Basically, I'm applying "How to Win Friends and Influence People".

But I'm thinking that I should be treating them the same as women I'm ****ing. Basically, treat them like ****, leave their messages on "seen", and don't share anything about myself. But then, I won't be having any female friends but instead, they'd just be classified as "women I'm not ****ing".

To me, it looks like if you let your guard down around women, their nature is to **** you up.

Can you guys share how you handle female friendships?

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Can you guys share how you handle female friendships?

Just dont handle them at all.

Why would you? They treat you like another simp they can take advantage of.

Its a waste of time and even by your own experiences you either fvck them in a good way or they fvck you on a bad way.

Invest the time to improve yourself, so you become even less dependent in women giving you social proof.

 

[LTG71]

They are more like acquaintances. I work with many and some are decent leaders and actually reliable, while others are like you have experienced. Good to interact with everyone. We act differently when we find someone attractive. It‘s easier to talk to one‘s you feel no attraction towards because you don’t care about the outcome. When you find this “friend” attractive, you start in with the simping and start forming expectations that she doesn’t know you have.

If the woman knows you like her, some will play you and take everything you are willing to give. All while not giving anything in return. The framework of friendship is completely different between the genders. Women like to run their mouths and men like to do things. They can’t relate to our male world so they are not often supportive of male experiences. We also have an internal programming we can’t ignore. If we‘re never going to have the possibility of fvcking, then what’s the point? Sounds shallow but also a self check system to guard your time and resources.

You want to be “friends” because you hope it could lead to something. Nobody ”friends” a fat chic with bad hygiene if you get my drift.

 

[Mike32ct]

A lot to unpack here, so I’ll just hit a few points.

Female friends have nothing to do with your SMV. You should not care if she’s attracted to you or not. Or if your friendship with her attracts other chicks. That’s not the point of friendship.

You can’t treat them exactly the same as guy friends. Their interests are often not the same, and you can’t joke quite as crudely as you do with guys (most of the time lol).

Lastly, you don’t need to “game” them in any way. Things like push/pull or being a jerk sometimes are not applicable here.

Mostly, for friends, they just want a guy who is chill, understanding, and can listen. This is not the same as being a simp. You aren’t doing that to get in her pants or to get her to date you later on. You’re just socializing.

Overall, having female friends can be fun if you have the right ones. Once they are comfortable with you, you’d be shocked at some of the shyte they tell you, and that can give a deeper insight into how women think and operate.

 

[Dr.Suave]

There can be exceptions but in general I dont believe in female friends.

"Girls can have female friends and they can have male friends. If you are not having sex with a girl, you are one of her female friends"

 

[handle]

Weird post. Do you get mad at your guy friends if they’re bad texters? I just accept that that aren’t big on texting.
If you want to be friends with girls, just treat them like you’d treat a friend... Are you always on guard that your male friends might “**** you over?”

 

[HaleyBaron]

As someone who does use female friends as accessories, they absolutely do not always vibe with me. Mostly cause I treat them like my male friends as eloquently put in the thread already. They get upset sometimes calling me an ******* or getting pouty at me, but they keep coming back. They message me while I don't unless I need a question answered. I keep them at arm's length and make sure they don't use me like their other male friends with small talks or drama. I make it known I can care less for either of that with non caring gestures. I know a few of them want to hook up with me yet I am at the point of my life and experience where I am picky with who I do things with. And these girls have certain quirks that I dislike. If anything, I am the one leading them on.

I just figure I give you a perspective from someone who does use his female acquaintances. And to let you know, I am not friends with the girls I am ****ing just to show the dynamics I use on all women.

 

[DreamAgain]

It's really rare to make genuine female friends, interests are just too dissimilar.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

But I noticed that you can't really be friends with women because when I act the same as I do with my male friends, they start to treat me like ****. They're gonna start doing **** like:

Do you talk with your father like you talk with your mother?

 

[Millard Fillmore]

I handle same way I do my guy friends. See them once in a while to break up my quality time with myself.

 

[SW15]

There can be exceptions but in general I dont believe in female friends.

I don't either and haven't kept them. I'm not going to be friends with a woman I find physically attractive. I might be open to being friends with some mediocre looking single woman. I could be friends with girlfriends/wives of my male friends, though those tend to be more acquaintances. Female colleagues at jobs I've worked tend to be more acquaintances than friends as well.

 

[RangerMIke]

Friendships form because of common interests or history. You cannot really be friends with someone (man or woman) if you have little in common.

I have female friends, but these friendships are not as deep as my male friendships. Also most women do not know how to be friends with men that are not relatives, or men that she grew up with.

Just ask a woman if she has any male friends.... she will typically say "Yes, I have several." But if you start to question that... you learn that many men she considers friends are really just hanging around the periphery waiting for their turn on the ride. These men typically hang around until they realize there is no hope... then they drift off. The longer it takes for a man doing this to just move on... the more respect the woman loses, and the more behavior she will exhibit that the OP noticed.

Either that, or it's a man she grew up with and is more like a brother than friend. A woman with a lot of 'male friends' is typically somewhat insecure... either that or she has traits that make female friendships more difficult.

I say this often and is always helpful repeating. In a VAST majority of cases, a man is not fooling a woman... Women by and large know exactly where they stand with the men around them... you cannot really lie to women, because they are efficient biological lie detectors. If you are attracted to her... she knows. Pretending to be a 'friend' isn't fooling anyone. If she is keeping the man around her that she really isn't attracted to, it is because she sees some usefulness in that particular situation. If you are attracted to her and are trying to be her friend... she typically knows what you are doing. The minute she feels that you are pushing for more... then you start getting the behavior the OP mentioned.

A man should be honest with himself and not settle for anything less than what he wants. Stop trying to be 'friends' with women unless you REALLY consider them just as friends. If anyone, man or woman, is not being respectful to your time and needs, then move on... they are not real friends.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Haven't any of you dudes ever ****ed a female friend? It's not difficult to do and neither is settling back to platonic friendship. Usually it's women who say it doesn't work out but their actions say different. Not saying it should be a strategy but a player is always ready for a woman in need of a good fukk.

 

[JuanSama]

Friendships form because of common interests or history. You cannot really be friends with someone (man or woman) if you have little in common.

I have female friends, but these friendships are not as deep as my male friendships. Also most women do not know how to be friends with men that are not relatives, or men that she grew up with.

Just ask a woman if she has any male friends.... she will typically say "Yes, I have several." But if you start to question that... you learn that many men she considers friends are really just hanging around the periphery waiting for their turn on the ride. These men typically hang around until they realize there is no hope... then they drift off. The longer it takes for a man doing this to just move on... the more respect the woman loses, and the more behavior she will exhibit that the OP noticed.

Either that, or it's a man she grew up with and is more like a brother than friend. A woman with a lot of 'male friends' is typically somewhat insecure... either that or she has traits that make female friendships more difficult.

I say this often and is always helpful repeating. In a VAST majority of cases, a man is not fooling a woman... Women by and large know exactly where they stand with the men around them... you cannot really lie to women, because they are efficient biological lie detectors. If you are attracted to her... she knows. Pretending to be a 'friend' isn't fooling anyone. If she is keeping the man around her that she really isn't attracted to, it is because she sees some usefulness in that particular situation. If you are attracted to her and are trying to be her friend... she typically knows what you are doing. The minute she feels that you are pushing for more... then you start getting the behavior the OP mentioned.

A man should be honest with himself and not settle for anything less than what he wants. Stop trying to be 'friends' with women unless you REALLY consider them just as friends. If anyone, man or woman, is not being respectful to your time and needs, then move on... they are not real friends.

That's how I'm doing it. Two of my females friends are for hiking and dance classes, so nothing sexual in my mind. As an example, during one hiking trip, I was having a fun conversation with a guy who joined us and the friend just spouted "JuanSama, can you just shut up now you're talking too much". I was like wtf and the other guy was surprised too.

The other friend keeps asking me for favors (which I never fullfill if it's gonna take too much time btw, so no simping here) but if I ask for anything no matter how simple, it's a firm no.

Idk if it's just me because I see many guys surrounded by women but I can't be friends with people like that. I'd rather rely on my bros.

 

[BadBoy89]

That's how I'm doing it. Two of my females friends are for hiking and dance classes, so nothing sexual in my mind.

OK so they are either 180 lbs each, or single mothers, or over 30, or menopausal, or ugly.

The other friend keeps asking me for favors (which I never fullfill if it's gonna take too much time btw, so no simping here) but if I ask for anything no matter how simple, it's a firm no.

When you defend yourself from Simping, when no one has accused you of Simping, the post gets a little suspicious.


In any case no guy can have a female friend without wanting to f her. He just remains friends with her in hopes that when her guard is down 1%, he can swoop in and make love to her. I'll be super super friends with hot girls, but an older woman or ugly woman or a single mother? Get the f out of my face.

 

[LTG71]

OK so they are either 180 lbs each, or single mothers, or over 30, or menopausal, or ugly.

My guess is no sexual interest from either side. Or there is something there and nobody has made a move yet. The women are using these guys as a source of protection. More like brothers that they can do these activities with.

 

[Gamisch]

Just dont handle them at all.

Why would you? They treat you like another simp they can take advantage of.

Its a waste of time and even by your own experiences you either fvck them in a good way or they fvck you on a bad way.

Invest the time to improve yourself, so you become even less dependent in women giving you social proof.

This.

I'll adjust my point of view; normally I would say that male/ female friendships are a big NONO. A man has a HIGH risk of chipping away from his own confidence by getting friendzoned by women and being treated like a chump.

But...there are always exceptions.
-a homies girl
- a girl who is fiends with a family member
-a co-worker
- a female client who brings you money

And probably more like this. My main question is: what do they provide that no one else can give you? A FRIEND to me = imma call you in the middle of the night because my car broke down and you are there for me.

If my "yes" always is a "no" for them its over.

 

[Mike32ct]

Yes friendship with a chick only works under certain conditions:

1. You aren’t attracted to her, or you can honestly let the attraction part go and be cool with her dating other dudes. (The latter is not super easy; you have to drop the ego lol, but it can be done.)

2. She doesn’t take advantage of you for favors.

My female friend is from work. We go out to eat every few weeks. She pays her own way and has always treated me well like a bro.

 

[SW15]

friendship with a chick only works under certain conditions:

1. You aren’t attracted to her,

I have had female friends when I was not attracted to them. I don't recommend those friendships too much either but at least you're trapped in an awful "friend zone".

 

[Millard Fillmore]

1. or you can honestly let the attraction part go and be cool with her dating other dudes. (The latter is not super easy; you have to drop the ego lol, but it can be done.)

IMO this is something all men should work on, generally speaking. I'm not saying they should all have female friends. Just work on the ego and be cool with her dating other guys, whoever she is (unless you're committed or whatever).

The reason most men can't fathom female friends is that they can't manage their jealousy and other emotions and fear the imaginary friend zone. Usually this stems from a scarcity mindset.