i am going back to my ex's town for the first time since we broke up to help my sister move. my sister and my ex are good friends and there is a possibility to see my ex again how do i prepare for this i have been dating and the confidence level has been good plus i have been using the advice of this website since me and my ex broke. i don't know how the confidence will do when i am there. any tips?
How to Act/feel
- Thread starter MVarnell
- Start date
-Zero_h0uR-
Senior Don Juan
Man, this is an interesting situation.
I don't think you have anything to worry about. Just do what you always do, except obviously you won't be trying to pick up your ex. I really can't give you specific advice, because I don't have a lot of background.
However, if you see her, just be cool, don't let the old AFC come back at all just because you're seeing her. I've seen that happen before. Guys who've dropped being an AFC immediately go back to it once they see an ex or something. So don't let that happen
.
You'll be fine. Just relax, don't stress about it, and it'll be over before you know it.
-- Zero-
I don't think you have anything to worry about. Just do what you always do, except obviously you won't be trying to pick up your ex. I really can't give you specific advice, because I don't have a lot of background.
However, if you see her, just be cool, don't let the old AFC come back at all just because you're seeing her. I've seen that happen before. Guys who've dropped being an AFC immediately go back to it once they see an ex or something. So don't let that happen
.You'll be fine. Just relax, don't stress about it, and it'll be over before you know it.
-- Zero-
Treat her with the same politeness that you would any salesman that knocks on your front door, or calls you on the phone. But as with a salesman, occaisionally glance at your watch, and know that the 'relationship' with the salesman will get nowhere. Same as your ex. Polite but that's all.
What, you haven't found an answer you like yet?
What is it you want to hear? How about "When you see her, tell her you miss her. Keep up strong eye contact. Ask her about her personal life and if she misses you. Touch her occasionally so she'll get the message that you still get woodies thinking of her and that you'd like to get back between the sheets."
She's an EX. You can never go back. The fact that you need a lot of advice or encouragement from loads of people shows that you still have feelings for this girl and you're afraid she'll notice. You secretly DO want to get back with her. You're afraid of your weakness when you're around her.
Okay, well then DON'T GO. Sheesh, one rule of self esteem is that you always have permission to say NO, to change your mind and to do what is right for you. It's starting to look like the best thing you can do is STAY AWAY.
Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
-Zero_h0uR-
Senior Don Juan
I dunno if MV is guilty of this himself, but isn't it amazing how many guys on this board now-a-days DO look for the exact answer that they want?
RK gave you the best advice you're gonna get on this topic, IMHO. I'd rather get one quality reply than 100 skiddish replies.
But then again, that's just me...
-- Zero-
Well, I mighta overdone it. Sometimes it's nice to get lots of answers as a kind of consensus, especially if your nerves are through the roof.
Obviously he's feeling a lot of emotion and is winding himself up tighter than an 8-day clock about being around his ex again. Been there, done that. And I suppose it is nice to be able to have 6,000 replies from his fellow DJ's all saying the same thing.
But it's unnecessary. My guess is that he'll do just fine when around her, and that he'll be so genteel, polite, elegant and cool that she WILL begin to miss him. (evil laughter in the background). But that will be HER problem. If she does eat her heart out, the Germans have a word for that "Schadenfreude".
Be cool, Varnell.
Obviously he's feeling a lot of emotion and is winding himself up tighter than an 8-day clock about being around his ex again. Been there, done that. And I suppose it is nice to be able to have 6,000 replies from his fellow DJ's all saying the same thing.
But it's unnecessary. My guess is that he'll do just fine when around her, and that he'll be so genteel, polite, elegant and cool that she WILL begin to miss him. (evil laughter in the background). But that will be HER problem. If she does eat her heart out, the Germans have a word for that "Schadenfreude".
Be cool, Varnell.
Rk i do feel like my nerves are on the roof if everyone just wrote a reply saying that the first one was right that would make me feel better i just dont want to give her a reason to make me feel like **** and if i lose my cool up there she probably would make me feel like a **** i think i just need to find a was to losen up and practice my dj skills and get the confidence up then i think i will hold my own fine and no i don't want her back.