How the hell do you guys get replies on POF?

[-E-]

Guys,

It seems that no matter what approach I take to my messages on Plenty of Fish, very very few people reply to me. My ratio is about 1 reply to every 20 or 30 messages, and then it never goes any where. I've been blown off by people that seemed interested at first and then just disappeared, and I just can't seem to figure it out.

I see so many people here and elsewhere say that they not only have lots of girls reply to them, but also email them initially. I've tried the funny approach, the pick-on-them approach, the tough guy approach, the laid-back approach, etc. etc. and no matter what I try it yields the same lack of results.

How do you do it? What method of messaging has gotten you the most results? It's so frustrating! And I'm tired of wasting my time feeding the bloated egos of women on that site.

 

[Scion]

If your tired of feeding their egos than try this: delete your profile off that site. It's just filled with attention *****s and single mothers.

 

[amoka]

Why do people waste time on POF anyway? If you can't get or talk to women in "real life" what makes you think it is easier behind the screen?

 

[-E-]

Why do people waste time on POF anyway? If you can't get or talk to women in "real life" what makes you think it is easier behind the screen?

Simply because I don't have a group to roll with yet. I'm not comfortable going out to clubs and bars by myself at this time, and since I just recently got divorced I'm starting all over as far as friends and building a social circle goes.

POF offers a means to talk to women aside from making approaches during the day, which I've also been doing.

 

[The Mad Ghost]

Guys,

It seems that no matter what approach I take to my messages on Plenty of Fish, very very few people reply to me. My ratio is about 1 reply to every 20 or 30 messages, and then it never goes any where. I've been blown off by people that seemed interested at first and then just disappeared, and I just can't seem to figure it out.

I see so many people here and elsewhere say that they not only have lots of girls reply to them, but also email them initially. I've tried the funny approach, the pick-on-them approach, the tough guy approach, the laid-back approach, etc. etc. and no matter what I try it yields the same lack of results.

How do you do it? What method of messaging has gotten you the most results? It's so frustrating! And I'm tired of wasting my time feeding the bloated egos of women on that site.

Dude, I totally see where you're coming from. Just know that you're not ALONE on this one. My problem is, that I build up a convo, then some of them just up and disappear, it's highly frustrating, but just keep in my mind, that alot of them have competition anxiety in the real world, Women are weak, they know there will be hordes of AFC's at there peril and feed off of this, it's hard to seperate the real from the AFC. Especially selling yoursef in the first message.

What hurts the most, is the girls that actually believe in themselfs on that website. The ones that are QUICK to say "cya" if you come across as a certain type, if you look like you can bang multiple women, you'll get a hard time, if you dont look like you can, you get an even harder time.

Jonwon already layed it out properly in the Mature Man forum.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=173124&page=3

 

[Desdinova]

Simply because I don't have a group to roll with yet.

Whenever I go out with friends, I'm distracted from approaching women. I prefer to go out alone.

I'm not comfortable going out to clubs and bars by myself at this time,

So why not learn to become comfortable with it? I got out alone ALL THE TIME and I have fun. Again, bringing friends distract me from approaching women.

and since I just recently got divorced I'm starting all over as far as friends and building a social circle goes.

I'm getting divorced too, and I jumped right back into approaching and dating women. You don't need a social circle to approach and talk to women. However, having a social circle of other women will increase your value.

 

[-E-]

I hear ya. I know I should just go out alone but I guess I feel so awkward doing it that it holds me back. I was NEVER popular with women before getting married, quite the opposite, and I guess those demons are coming back to haunt me even though i'm a much different guy now.

And thanks for the link to the other POF thread... I guess the website really is a waste of time. It's just I see so many people saying they have easy success, and hookup with random lays so easily on the site, that I figured it'd be a good place to go. But I see a lot of you saying that pay sites like Match.com are actually better, so maybe I'll check that out to supplement my normal approaching and game-building.

I guess a big part of the problem is that I just can't IMAGINE what it would be like to have success with women. I see so many guys complain because "all they can find are girls who want to have sex and not relationships". I can't even come close to finding sex, so it's like gee, I wish I had YOUR problem!! LOL, it's so frustrating when I read guys say stuff like that. I'm a decent looking guy but even the uglies and fatties don't take interest, maybe because I'm too good looking for them? But it's a confidence killer when you try and try and try to improve and approach, yet NOBODY takes an interest in you.

The only girl I've met from POF was an overweight single mom who worked at McDonalds. Even SHE didn't take interest. Talk about a confidence breaker... lol.

Sorry to ramble... I guess I just have a lot on my mind.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

E what do you write to them or talk about? When do you notice or what are you talking about when they say "cya"? Are you starting to try to get sexual? what is your profile like? I send to alot of women..Get alot of responses. I've blown off like four. Still talking to five and getting new ones everyday. As for meeting I'm going to have to make time. Been busy working two jobs. So what do you send? I copy and paste and don't care if they ask me if it's copy and paste. I reply with "I don't own a copier let alone know how to use one and I did used to eat alot of Paste in my Pre-K days.) What does your profile look like?

 

[-E-]

E what do you write to them or talk about? When do you notice or what are you talking about when they say "cya"? Are you starting to try to get sexual? what is your profile like? I send to alot of women..Get alot of responses. I've blown off like four. Still talking to five and getting new ones everyday. As for meeting I'm going to have to make time. Been busy working two jobs. So what do you send? I copy and paste and don't care if they ask me if it's copy and paste. I reply with "I don't own a copier let alone know how to use one and I did used to eat alot of Paste in my Pre-K days.) What does your profile look like?

Okay, here's what my profile says, feel free to critique it.

Who am I? I'm a fun and outgoing guy who knows what he wants and loves to have a good time with great people.

I'm an independent guy, yet I find that everything life has to offer is best experienced with close friends and loved ones. In my world it's not what you have so much as who you have to share it with. Deep conversations, poking fun at the world, movies, trips, meals, everything! It's all better when you have someone to share it with.

I'm also a bit of a smart-ass and like to crack jokes at very random times. I've always said that Beavis and Butthead molded me into the fine upstanding citizen I am today... sort of srs. But honestly, if you're not laughing and having a good time with me then I'm not doing my job.

Right now I'm enjoying my career as a Computer Tech for a fun and laid back automotive-related corporation, but before that I was a pilot for a large regional airline. I plan on staying with computers and my current company for a long time to come but if the opportunity presented itself to fly again, I just might have to cut my hair and dive back in.

I'm a man's man. I like to spend my free time at the gym and try to live a fairly healthy lifestyle, but I also love spending time with friends and hitting up clubs or just finding something fun to do on a weekend. I'm open for trying new things and think people should be willing to try just about anything once. Variety is important and if you allow yourself to be set in your ways and intimidated, you'll miss out on a lot of things that you'd realize you enjoyed if you tried them just once.


Music wise I'm mostly into Rock/Metal and Electronica (like Trance and House), though I have a soft spot for classic rap and hip-hop from the 90s and yeah, some 80s tunes also. I'm a child of the 80s, what do you expect?

I also LOVE to cook, and I've been told I'm pretty damn good at it. Lots of cooks on both sides of the family and the magic was passed down. I have some Cajun blood in me so one of my favorite feasts is the good ol' Crawfish boil. I host those a few times during the year and if you've never had them you don't know what you're missing.


Good friends, good food, good times, ambitions, love, and happiness is the magical combination to have a fulfilling life, and I'd like to meet people and make new friends who want the same things.

What am I looking for? Well I just became a bachelor again after a 13 year committed relationship so I'd like to make some new friends first, and if the right girl comes along, maybe more. If you want to chat, drop me a line. I'm always up for discussing anything from the mysteries of the universe to what hotspot we should hit up next weekend.

First Date

Spend time doing something fun and getting to know the person I'm with. Whether it be simply meeting at a coffee shop or nice restaurant, or spending a day at the park or beach and doing other activities, it's all about having fun with no pressure. I think the show "Blind Date" had a good idea with all the different and random activities the daters would do together, so that kind of thing would be a lot of fun. Getting a feel for one another, seeing if that all-important spark is there, and really just having a good time no matter how the date is destined to end.

As far as when they blow me off goes, take this goth chick that seemed REALLY into me a week ago. We were supposed to meet up for a bowling date Friday night, and the last time we chatted was on Tuesday via Yahoo messenger. She started rambling about some other guy that was stalker her from POF and in the middle of the convo she said "Hang on, my dad's on the phone". She never came back to the convo and never called or texted me since then. Hence Friday night didn't happen and I haven't heard from her. I haven't tried to contact her either because I don't tolerate being blown off.

And i was getting a little naughty with her in the convos because she was doing that herself.

 

[amoka]

Who am I? I'm a fun and outgoing guy who knows what he wants and loves to have a good time with great people.

I'm an independent guy, yet I find that everything life has to offer is best experienced with close friends and loved ones. In my world it's not what you have so much as who you have to share it with. Deep conversations, poking fun at the world, movies, trips, meals, everything! It's all better when you have someone to share it with.

I'm also a bit of a smart-ass and like to crack jokes at very random times. I've always said that Beavis and Butthead molded me into the fine upstanding citizen I am today... sort of srs. But honestly, if you're not laughing and having a good time with me then I'm not doing my job.

Right now I'm enjoying my career as a Computer Tech for a fun and laid back automotive-related corporation, but before that I was a pilot for a large regional airline. I plan on staying with computers and my current company for a long time to come but if the opportunity presented itself to fly again, I just might have to cut my hair and dive back in.

I'm a man's man. I like to spend my free time at the gym and try to live a fairly healthy lifestyle, but I also love spending time with friends and hitting up clubs or just finding something fun to do on a weekend. I'm open for trying new things and think people should be willing to try just about anything once. Variety is important and if you allow yourself to be set in your ways and intimidated, you'll miss out on a lot of things that you'd realize you enjoyed if you tried them just once.


Music wise I'm mostly into Rock/Metal and Electronica (like Trance and House), though I have a soft spot for classic rap and hip-hop from the 90s and yeah, some 80s tunes also. I'm a child of the 80s, what do you expect?

I also LOVE to cook, and I've been told I'm pretty damn good at it. Lots of cooks on both sides of the family and the magic was passed down. I have some Cajun blood in me so one of my favorite feasts is the good ol' Crawfish boil. I host those a few times during the year and if you've never had them you don't know what you're missing.


Good friends, good food, good times, ambitions, love, and happiness is the magical combination to have a fulfilling life, and I'd like to meet people and make new friends who want the same things.

What am I looking for? Well I just became a bachelor again after a 13 year committed relationship so I'd like to make some new friends first, and if the right girl comes along, maybe more. If you want to chat, drop me a line. I'm always up for discussing anything from the mysteries of the universe to what hotspot we should hit up next weekend.

First Date

Spend time doing something fun and getting to know the person I'm with. Whether it be simply meeting at a coffee shop or nice restaurant, or spending a day at the park or beach and doing other activities, it's all about having fun with no pressure. I think the show "Blind Date" had a good idea with all the different and random activities the daters would do together, so that kind of thing would be a lot of fun. Getting a feel for one another, seeing if that all-important spark is there, and really just having a good time no matter how the date is destined to end.

Delete this crap ASAP and start doing day game. Best place to go: Bookstores, Coffee shops, Malls, etc. This POF(Sh!t) only allows your ego to be damaged by some AW whose pictures on her profile were probably taken several years ago at her prime. Don't waste your time on POS.

 

[-E-]

Delete this crap ASAP and start doing day game. Best place to go: Bookstores, Coffee shops, Malls, etc. This POF(Sh!t) only allows your ego to be damaged by some AW whose pictures on her profile were probably taken several years ago at her prime. Don't waste your time on POS.

Yeah I hear ya. And I agree that POF is about as confidence-building as smashing your face repeatedly against a brick wall.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

I honestly think the women on there will go with te sex talk as a sh!t test to see if "YOU" are the pervert to keep not only their own desires in check but then blow you off because of their anti-slvt defense. I've had a few do the back and forth..you have to do it very subtly then back off for a bit and maybe next few convos start up again. They try to hold the power of the "P" over us even online. They'll "throw it in your face" subtly. Then when you go for it act like YOU'RE the pervert and stop talking. I laugh at it because my second job revolves around seeing and meeting gorgeous girls all day in high end retail fashion store. So I don't make online dating the end all be all. It's just an addition to meeting women in real life.


Your profile looks good. Leave it. If you keep second guessing and changing it it'll show you're frustrated and you yourself will get frustrated. Don't think too much on it. If you can add more funny things, do.

How about your pics? Are they of you doing things? Do you have pictures of other women with you for the "social proof" everyone seems to love these days? Also I talk about everyday or random questions. No resume type what do you do for work nonsense. Go after a few convo's to asking if they have facebook then add so you can kindof get better pictures of them and who they really are..

 

[Lexington]

You should never allow online dating to be your only tool. It should be but one tool in your kit. The fact of the matter is, any attractive girl on any online dating site has options. She's getting flooded with messages every day.

So you can't invest a lot of time in each one. You have to play the numbers game. I would just use a generic message. Make a few edits here and there for each girl and definitely put something witty in the subject line to catch her attention. Message as many women as you can.

If they do message you back, you have to work quickly to setup a meeting. Answer all her questions in such a way that your answers lead to more questions. Then use this mystery about you to setup a coffee date.

The key to online dating is to play the numbers game. Your odds with online dating are actually worse than in real life. With online dating, a girl has very little to judge you by. All she has are a few pics and description. She doesn't know your real personality etc. So you have to invest less in each girl, but invest in A LOT of girls.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

You need real confidence to begin with BEFORE going on P.O.F and worrying about losing it because of P.O.F. I don't take it that seriously. Just leave it up and write every so often to people and wait for responses while you go out in real life and meet women. It's not a big deal, and neither are the women on there OR in RL. IMO.

 

[K2000kidd]

I tried that site for a month and found it to be chock full of single moms
and divorced/bitter/mentally ill chicks with more baggage than you'd see on the Jerry Springer show

Plus you'll always be long forgotten about when the Johnny Depp
looking guy who lives 1300 miles away messages them or sends a rose
also your profile reads like a resume man leave a little air of mystery bro

Stick with the gym eat a lean diet, get leann as all hell and post a new pic on
your profile with some lady friends with alcohol in the backbround but lose the
"like to find the right girl, what i do for a living, long walks on the beach,
oh and i'm a great cook" stuff.

Here in 2010 women are looking for a guy to fck NOT one to bring home to mom

 

[Naughty Ninja]

that's nonsense. I'm talking to three of them (pretty good looking) at the same time as I post this reply! Who cares if some have kids? Are you a Don Juan or looking to wife somebody off the net? Jesus you guys take online "dating" too damn serious. It is what it is. Have fun with it. If it works it works. If not keep looking like everyone else in real life. Just leave your profile till you get "bites" or send out copy and paste funny emails. It DOES work. I'm getting ALOT. I forget names though and have to look at convo history...lol

 

[Lexington]

It's just another tool to meet women. You should go out and meet women wherever you can in real life, but this allows you to meet even more. On most weekdays, I can't really go out and meet people. Using the internet, you can approach a bunch of girls that you wouldn't otherwise have the time to.

 

[jnice48146]

Dude, your profile is WAY too much info! By the time they've read this there isn't any mystery left about you! I can understand your effort to be "straight up" on your profile, but that's too much (imo).

Also, you ABSOLUTELY need good pics! Action pics of you with friends, etc. Avoid the ones you take of yourself in the bathroom mirror. I made the mistake at 1st of having an alcoholic beverage in my hand in all my pics! A friend pointed it out and I switched it up, and they started emailing ME!

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Dude, your profile is WAY too much info! By the time they've read this there isn't any mystery left about you! I can understand your effort to be "straight up" on your profile, but that's too much (imo).

Also, you ABSOLUTELY need good pics! Action pics of you with friends, etc. Avoid the ones you take of yourself in the bathroom mirror. I made the mistake at 1st of having an alcoholic beverage in my hand in all my pics! A friend pointed it out and I switched it up, and they started emailing ME!

Totally agree with this post. Most people have A.D.D, A.D.H.D, low attention span, etc., Most women there are already getting hundreds of emails that they are deleting, due to lack of time; you add a long A$s profile and you have just guaranteed they won't even bother reading it.

More importantly, your initial email contact is even more important than your profile. Your profile needs to be more concise, short, to the point. Your initial contact email should stand out from the other hundreds she's getting that week, and needs to direct her to your profile where she will check out what you wrote and be on the look for your pics.

Agree also about the pix. No "Badass", posing pix, taking pix off the mirror, or shirtless. Don't look too serious, so make sure you are smiling on at least a couple of them. Your profile, pictures, and initial email should all be congruent, and not give out the vibe that you are being disingenous.

 

[kid_gorgeous]

Why do people waste time on POF anyway? If you can't get or talk to women in "real life" what makes you think it is easier behind the screen?

Learnt that the hard way. Tried match.com and other major sites. POF many times. Didnt get a single reply.

Am starting to think there is something wrong with me.